Chidera Eggerue - Why Women Are Saying No To Traditional Roles!

“If he upsets me - I get gifts!” In this episode, best-selling author and activist Chidera Eggerue (aka The Slumflower) joins us to discuss her transformative ideas on love, relationships, and self-worth. Known for creating the viral #SaggyBoobsMatter movement, Chidera challenges traditional heteronormative expectations and encourages women to recognise their inherent value, demand more from their partners, and create more equal, empowering relationships.  With her provocative insights on love, money, and equality, she provides listeners with practical tools to break free from societal norms, set higher standards in their personal lives, and reclaim their power. Follow Chidera Here: https://g2ul0.app.link/T3GIV2Y0bPb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod 00:00 Intro 00:02:13 History Of Chidera's Moniker 'Slumflower' 00:04:30 Growing Up In Peckham/'Little Lagos' 00:08:00 Chidera Cutting Her Mum Off And Ensuing Therapy 00:10:57 Chidera's Relationship With Her Father 00:13:11 Chidera's Early Romantic Relationships 00:14:31 Was Chidera Loved By Anyone In Her Childhood/Adolescence? 00:16:04 Chidera Has Never Had A Man At Her Flat 00:17:31 How Chidera's Ideology Developed Over Time 00:24:45 The Traditional Idea Of Love Is Damaging To Women 00:27:31 What Does Love Mean To Chidera? 00:29:25 Love, Feminism And Finance 00:31:04 Chidera's Thoughts On The Male Loneliness Epidemic 00:32:15 Is Chidera An Advocate For Marriage? 00:33:41 Why Does Society Struggle With Finance When It Comes To Romance? 00:41:49 Men And Self-Esteem/Ego 00:45:19 'Marriage Is The Lowest Paid Form Of Sex Work' 00:55:10 Huel Ad 00:56:12 Tinder Ad 00:57:06 Chidera's Definition Of Hypergamy 00:59:40 4B Movement 01:07:01 Chidera Being 'Grey A-Sexual' 01:11:29 Chidera On BDSM And Being A Dominatrix 01:16:14 How Do These Relationships Start? 01:22:17 Chidera's 'Goddess Gina' Alter Ego 01:27:46 A Letter From 'Slave Tux' 01:37:51 Critiques Of Chidera 01:41:24 Most Memorable Conversation 01:46:57 Paul's Takeaways 01:49:10 Fiver Ad Sponsored by: Huel: https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/ Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul/

Appearance Was A Big Part Of My Childhood: Join Megan Barton-Hanson, a former Love Island finalist and one of the top creators on OnlyFans, where she shares her incredible journey from being severely bullied in her younger years, to becoming a global advocate for sex positivity and empowerment.  Megan opens up about the challenges she’s faced, from overcoming societal misconceptions about sex work to building a multi-million-dollar career rooted in authenticity and resilience.  With candid reflections on love, self-worth, and breaking free from judgment, Megan’s story is a powerful reminder of the strength it takes to own your narrative and defy outdated norms. Follow Megan here: Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/ep1wbj4jJOb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod If you’re affected by anything discussed in this episode, please contact the below organisations and charities who can provide support: Women's Aid https://g2ul0.app.link/WyCdvWWjJOb Refuge https://g2ul0.app.link/pmZkBsOjJOb NUM https://g2ul0.app.link/sosyTb1jJOb MIND https://g2ul0.app.link/d72yzu7jJOb 00:00 Intro 2:11 Megan’s Childhood: Growing Up In Southend-On-Sea 3:20 Megan’s Relationship With Her Parents During Her Youth 4:19 Megan’s Brother: Their Bond And Memories 5:39 Highlights Of School Life And Living In Southend 6:59 Megan’s Struggles With Bullying At School 10:30 Who Supported Megan Through Her Bullying Experiences? 12:23 Megan’s Early Views On Intimacy And Self-Worth 13:55 When Did Megan First Experience Sexual Intimacy? 15:22 Megan’s Journey To Realizing Her Sexual Orientation 16:30 Megan’s First Lesbian Relationship: A Personal Story 21:46 Megan’s Cosmetic Surgery Experience: Why She Did It 24:02 How Megan Started Her Career: A Look Back 25:18 Megan’s Experience Working As A Stripper 27:59 Defining ‘Sex Work’: Megan’s Perspective 29:43 Was Megan Truly Happy While Working As A Stripper? 30:40 Megan’s Journey To Becoming A Love Island Contestant 32:47 Lessons Megan Learned About People From Her Time At The Strip Club 35:42 What Megan Discovered About Herself During Her Early Career 37:26 How Megan Got Cast On Love Island 39:31 How Megan Earned Money Before Joining Love Island 40:36 Why Megan Decided To Go On Love Island 41:43 Did Megan Have A Game Plan For Love Island? 42:52 Life After Love Island: Megan’s Story 44:21 Finding Love On Love Island: Megan’s Experience 46:12 Navigating Fame: Megan’s Life In The Public Eye 54:00 Megan’s Brother’s Mental Health Struggles 56:15 Why Megan Joined Celebs Go Dating 58:11 Facing Skepticism About Her Sexuality: Megan’s Response 1:00:22 When Paul Realized Megan Had Feelings For Demi 1:03:19 How Megan And Demi’s Relationship Ended 1:05:41 Adobe Ad 1:06:36 Tinder Ad 1:07:39 Megan’s Current Dating Life: What’s Happening Now? 1:10:48 What Megan Wants In An Ideal Partner 1:12:48 Inside Megan’s Hinge Profile: Dating In The Digital Age 1:15:19 Megan’s Worst Experiences With Men: Lessons Learned 1:20:19 Megan’s Charity Work And Giving Back 1:29:33 Challenges Megan Has Faced In Relationships With Men 1:36:12 Megan’s Journey As A Successful Businesswoman 1:41:51 Why Megan Is A Top Creator On OnlyFans 1:43:12 The Most Unusual Requests Megan Has Received On OnlyFans 1:44:44 Funny And Unexpected OnlyFans Stories 1:46:32 Is OnlyFans Considered Pornography? Megan’s Take 1:52:27 Is Megan Truly Happy Now? A Reflection 1:55:27 Megan’s Most Memorable Conversations 1:57:21 Key Takeaways From Megan’s Journey 2:01:11 Huel Ad Sponsored by: Adobe https://www.adobe.com/uk/express/  Tinder https://tinder.com/en-GB  Huel https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL

Do younger partners make you happier? In this episode, Cindy Gallop, founder of Make Love Not Porn, shares her bold perspective on living authentically and challenging societal norms. From rejecting pressures to marry or have children to embracing the joy of dating younger men, Cindy redefines intimacy and celebrates individuality. Drawing on her successful advertising career and groundbreaking work in reshaping conversations about sex and relationships, she offers insights on breaking free from conventional expectations to live a uniquely fulfilling life. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that encourages you to rethink what it means to live on your own terms. Follow Cindy Here: Cindy's Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/neknglRJJOb MakeLoveNotPorn Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/ANV19lVJJOb MakeLoveNotPorn Fundraiser https://g2ul0.app.link/3nwgfqdMJOb Support MakeLoveNotPorn Here: https://www.wefunder.com/makelovenotporn Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod 00:00 Introduction: Who Is Cindy Gallop? 02:02 What Does "Cindy’s Brand" Really Mean? 03:45 How Cindy Views Herself vs. How The World Sees Her 04:25 How Cindy’s Background Shaped Her Authentic Self 06:28 Steps To Embracing Your Authentic Self 09:00 Breaking Down The Most Harmful Societal Norms 12:07 Has Cindy Ever Experienced True Romantic Love? 13:47 Why Cindy Isn’t Focused On Finding Romantic Love 15:44 Why Young Men Are Choosing To Date Older Women 17:51 What’s The Age Gap Between Cindy And The Men She Dates? 20:56 Why Cindy Gallop’s Relationships Are Different From Love 24:53 Will Traditional Ideas About Love And Family Ever Change? 25:47 How To Stop External Pressures From Influencing Your Choices 27:19 The Dangerous Myth Of “The One” In Relationships 28:44 How Cindy Maintains Successful Relationships With Younger Men 35:25 Debunking The Myth Of The “Nuclear Family” 37:58 Advertising’s Misrepresentation Of Age And Its Impact 42:34 Is “Make Love Not Porn” Competing With Mainstream Porn? 46:26 Why Cindy Created “Make Love Not Porn” And Its Mission 53:16 What Is The Social-Sexual Revolution “Make Love Not Porn” Aims To Spark? 58:49 How “Make Love Not Porn” Differs From Mainstream Porn’s Addictive Traits 01:02:18 Cindy Gallop’s Definition Of True Consent 01:05:23 Can Sharing Your Sex Life Help Correct Misconceptions About Sex? 01:08:11 A Look At Paul’s Research On “Make Love Not Porn” 01:11:21 Cindy’s Innovative Approach To Educating Young People About Sex 01:13:42 How And When Parents Should Talk To Kids About Sex And Porn 01:16:15 Inside The “Make Love Not Porn” Academy 01:22:03 Cindy Gallop’s Most Memorable Conversations Sponsored by: Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul Huel: https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

Paul sits down with Dr. Karen Gurney, a renowned psychologist and sex expert, to explore the topic of intimate relationships and sexual satisfaction. From demystifying the concept of being "good in bed" to unpacking the historical biases shaping our perceptions of sex, Dr Karen provides a refreshing perspective that prioritises emotional connection and individual fulfilment. Join us as we tackle key topics such as the orgasm gap, the complexities of sexual compatibility, and the impact of cultural myths on our intimate lives.Dr. Gurney offers practical advice for fostering meaningful conversations about sex, building trust, and embracing the full spectrum of pleasure. Whether you're navigating a long-term relationship or exploring casual connections, this episode is a thought-provoking guide to cultivating a healthier, more fulfilling sex life. Follow Dr Karen Here: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/MU8rewKCxOb Karen's Book 'Mind The Gap' https://g2ul0.app.link/4i3z7QkDxOb Karen's Book 'How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life' https://g2ul0.app.link/YjgD9soDxOb Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod -- 00:00 Introduction   1:16 How External Influences Impact Your Sex Life   1:52 What Is Sex And Why Does It Matter?   3:07 The Essential Rules Of Sex Everyone Should Know   5:49 Understanding The Sexual Scale: Where Do You Fit?   7:42 The Truth About Sexual Compatibility: Does It Exist?   10:14 Good Sex Vs Bad Sex: How To Tell The Difference   15:37 Rating Sexual Pleasure In Different Scenarios   18:08 The Truth About Orgasms And Society's Expectations   21:06 What Is The Orgasm Gap And Why It Matters   27:32 1st PTC (Post Topic Commentary)   28:17 Does Penis Size Actually Matter?   31:47 Why Society Is Obsessed With Penis Size   34:02 The G-Spot: Myth Or Reality?   36:22 Are Fetishes Becoming More Common?   37:33 Is Pornography Helpful Or Harmful In Today's World?   40:49 2nd PTC (Post Topic Commentary)   41:27 Sex Today Vs Past Generations: What’s Changed?   45:11 The Future Of Sex: Robots, AI, And Beyond   47:23 Huel Sponsorship Ad   48:25 Fiverr Sponsorship Ad   49:35 What Is The Kinsey Scale And Why Does It Matter?   52:22 Sexual Currency Explained: Why It's Crucial In Relationships   1:00:40 How To Build Sexual Currency In Your Relationship   1:01:58 3rd PTC (Post Topic Commentary)   1:02:41 How To Make An Invitation For Sex More Inviting   1:04:16 How Sleep Impacts Your Sex Life   1:05:10 How Often Should You Be Having Sex?   1:09:16 How Long Should Sex Last For Maximum Pleasure?   1:15:08 How Conscientiousness Influences Your Sex Life   1:19:20 What Is Self-Expansion And How It Improves Relationships   1:22:44 When Is Lack Of Sex A Valid Reason To Leave A Relationship?   1:27:37 How A Strong Sexual Connection Benefits Your Relationship   1:29:40 Why Understanding Sexual Anatomy Is So Important   1:34:28 Can Having Sex Make Someone More Physically Attractive To You?   1:37:53 The Most Memorable Conversation About Sex   1:41:58 Key Takeaways From This Discussion On Sex   1:43:55 Tinder Sponsorship Ad   -- Sponsored by: Huel: huel.com/paul use code PAUL Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

Toni Tone and Taiwo Ogebule share the transformative journey that has redefined their approach to love and relationships.Through overcoming personal challenges, cultural pressures, and managing a long-distance romance, they reveal how a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and deep emotional connection has kept their bond strong. Together, they challenge conventional narratives around attachment, masculinity, and "struggle love," showing how self-discovery and resilience create a partnership that goes beyond expectations. Follow Toni Here: Toni's TikTok: https://g2ul0.app.link/JazIAMKurOb Toni's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/sFCGcJOurOb Follow Taiwo Here: Taiwo's TikTok: https://g2ul0.app.link/0wuUp8WurOb Taiwo's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/pUhyd2SurOb Follow Me Here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod 00:00 Introduction to the Episode 03:04 Dating Culture Differences: USA vs. UK 05:15 Toni and Taiwo’s Relationship Histories 06:18 How Relationships Can Impact Attachment Styles 11:06 How Toni and Taiwo Met: Their Love Story 16:22 Toni’s Viral Tweet After Their First Call 16:53 Understanding Demisexuality: What Does It Mean? 18:23 Tips for Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship 20:46 Managing Conflict Across Borders: Toni and Taiwo’s Approach 25:49 The Biggest Misconceptions About Our Relationship 29:51 What Makes a “Good Man” in Modern Dating? 30:55 Shopify Ad 31:54 Huel Ad 33:25 What Is Gut Instinct and Why It’s Important in Love 35:37 Breaking Down “Struggle Love” and Its Impact 38:51 Can a Strong Woman Really Intimidate Men? 49:00 Our Most Memorable Conversations Together 54:24 Key Takeaways from Paul 56:59 Tinder Ad Sponsored by: Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk  Huel: huel.com/paul use code PAUL Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a leading psychiatrist and mental health expert, to explore high-functioning depression and anhedonia—two often-overlooked mental health conditions that can profoundly affect both personal well-being and relationships. Dr. Judith shares her insights on how people may appear to have everything under control while silently struggling, and she provides practical advice for identifying these hidden signs and managing them effectively. With her clinical background and deep understanding of trauma and attachment issues, Dr. Judith offers listeners tools to foster self-awareness, resilience, and healthier connections. Whether you’re dealing with these challenges yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation will equip you with valuable strategies for navigating the complexities of these struggles. Follow Dr Judith Joseph here: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/CWNtxBUHfOb Dr Judith Pre-Order Link: https://g2ul0.app.link/JOBEG4qIfOb Dr Judith Anhedonia Quiz: https://g2ul0.app.link/iKrl1RxIfOb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod 0:00 Intro  0:46 Judith’s Early Life and Background  2:33 Pros and Cons of Being an Immigrant  5:04 Judith’s Strong Work Ethic  6:06 Why Judith Switched to a Career in Psychology  8:45 How Judith Found the Confidence to Change Careers  10:18 Why Judith Chose to Pursue Psychiatry  12:08 What Exactly Is Psychiatry?  13:34 The Role of a Lab in Psychiatry and Why It Matters  15:40 How Race Affects Access to Therapy  18:28 Can You Overdo Therapy?  20:45 Understanding and Defining Trauma  23:38 How the Pandemic Has Shaped Our View on Trauma  24:42 What Is Scarcity Trauma?  25:55 What Happens If You Don’t Address Trauma  27:27 The Key Differences Between Guilt and Shame  28:56 How to Support Someone Going Through Trauma  32:20 What Is Scarcity Envy and How Does It Affect Us?  35:15 High-Functioning Depression Explained  36:38 What Is Depression? Signs and Symptoms  38:06 Ad Break  40:27 Are People More Depressed Than Ever?  42:23 What Is "High-Functioning Depression"?  44:03 How to Check In on Friends and Family  46:51 What Is Anhedonia and Why It Matters  51:33 The Impact of Anhedonia on Mental Health  53:18 Should We Slow Down to Improve Mental Health?  54:55 The 5,4,3,2,1 Exercise for Anxiety Relief  58:20 Procrastination Caused by Worry: How to Manage It  59:10 Should You Stay in a Relationship Where Depression Is Present?  1:01:59 Are We All Somewhere on the Neurodivergent Spectrum?  1:03:48 How to Raise Awareness Without Misdiagnosing Yourself  1:06:07 Taking Control of Your Thoughts  1:08:05 The Cognitive Behavioral Triangle Explained  1:08:47 What Judith Would Tell Her Younger Self  1:09:21 Is Judith Truly Happy?  1:11:23 Judith’s Most Memorable Conversation  Sponsored by: Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul  Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

In this exclusive episode, Love Island star Maura Higgins opens up about the intimate and personal aspects of her life journey, shedding light on the emotional challenges she’s encountered since entering the spotlight. From heartbreak, loss, and betrayal to the pressures of living in the public eye, Maura discusses how embracing vulnerability and practicing self-love have helped her stay true to herself. In her debut podcast episode, Maura’s story of resilience and personal growth is both empowering and relatable, especially for anyone navigating similar hardships. This conversation includes sensitive topics such as grief and sexual assault. If you are affected by anything in this podcast, please use these links to organisations that can offer support: CALM: https://g2ul0.app.link/uULaUXcM3Nb MIND: https://g2ul0.app.link/gbuRaxjM3Nb Follow Maura here: https://g2ul0.app.link/7kCDv2mM3Nb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod — 00:00 Introduction 01:38 Maura Reveals Why She Rarely Shares Her Story 02:45 Why Maura Chose Now for Her First In-depth Interview 03:30 Exploring Maura's Complex Relationship With Her Mother 04:21 Insights into Maura's Childhood Experiences 05:39 Understanding Maura's Relationship With Her Father 08:59 Analyzing Maura's School Life Experiences 12:40 What Was It Like in Maura's Childhood Home? 13:49 Toxic School Experiences: Maura's Story 14:32 Weekends in Maura's Childhood: A Deep Dive 15:11 How Maura's Early Life Influenced Her Adult Relationships 15:58 Maura's Dating Life Beginnings Uncovered 16:25 Maura's First Romantic Relationship Explored 18:24 Maura's Journey to Becoming a Hairdresser 21:09 Maura's Early Days in the Public Eye 22:55 Promotional Segment: Tinder Advertisement 23:48 The Story of Maura and Her Best Friend 26:04 Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? Maura Discusses 28:24 Maura Confronts the Loss of Her Best Friend 35:26 Maura's Lack of Emotional Support from Her Father 36:08 The Truth About Maura's Cheating Ex-Partner 45:50 Maura Discusses Her Experience with Sexual Assault 52:22 Inside Maura's Love Island Adventure 58:54 Exploring Maura's Relationships on Love Island 01:01:34 Public Perceptions of Maura Post-Love Island 01:05:06 Life Changes for Maura After Love Island 01:10:54 Maura's Mental Health After Love Island: A Breakdown 01:25:45 Exploring the 'Triangular Love' Theory 01:27:11 Has Maura Ever Been in a Fulfilling Relationship? 01:29:44 Maura Discusses: What It Means to Truly Love 01:39:49 Maura on Staying Relevant: Career Pressures Post-Fame 01:41:58 Maura's Advice on Relationships 01:43:49 Maura at the BAFTAs: Celebrity Connections Revealed 01:50:41 Most Memorable Questions Asked to Maura 01:53:33 Key Insights from Paul's Interview with Maura 01:56:26 Advertisement Segment: Fiverr Promotion — Sponsored by: Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/ Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul

In this episode, Dr. Gabor Maté, a world-renowned expert on trauma, stress and addiction, reveals how childhood experiences and emotional suppression deeply shape our relationships and overall wellbeing. He explains how unresolved trauma from our early years can lead to stress and challenges in adult relationships, and offers powerful insights on how embracing vulnerability and authenticity can foster healing and transformation in both one's personal life and relationships. Whether you're dealing with relationship challenges or seeking personal growth, Dr. Maté’s wisdom provides a path to healing and improvement, by understanding the root causes of emotional suppression and learning to live more authentically. Follow Gabor’s work here: On Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/BHvQI3ZySNb/ ..and his latest book, The Myth of Normal - https://g2ul0.app.link/gOaWoFWySNb/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod — 00:00 Introduction   01:52 Career Change Tips for Older Adults   04:27 How the Mind-Body Connection Impacts Relationships   11:51 How to Choose the Right Partner for Long-Term Happiness   13:08 Why Authenticity Matters in and out of Relationships   16:19 How Childhood Attachments Shape Your Adult Relationships   18:25 How to Be Your Most Authentic Self the Power of Saying No   28:41 How Social Status Affects Relationships   29:54 Different Types of Stress and How to Manage Them   36:37 Is Your Partner Hurting Your Well-Being   44:54 How to Develop a Secure Attachment in Relationships   49:10 The Health Effects of Avoidant and Anxious Attachment Styles   54:03 The Link Between Addiction and Attachment Styles   01:02:15 What Is Trauma and How Does It Affect You   01:05:41 How Many People Are Living with Trauma Today   01:07:30 How to Heal from Trauma and Move Forward   01:12:02 Important Topics That Need More Attention   01:15:24 Most Memorable Conversations on Relationships   01:17:24 Key Takeaways from This Discussion — Sponsored by: Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul/ Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/

In episode, Paul sits down with Ashley Cain, a former professional footballer and reality TV star, who bravely shares his transformative journey of grief and healing following the devastating loss of his daughter, Azaylia, to leukemia. Ashley opens up about the struggles he's faced, the lessons he’s learned, and the powerful mission he’s now embraced to raise awareness for childhood cancer and men’s mental health. Through this heartfelt conversation, Ashley discusses the emotional challenges men often encounter and how understanding and addressing these needs can lead to personal growth. We explore the sudden end to his football career, the impact that trauma has had on his life, and how he's used his experiences to help others find strength, even in the darkest of moments.Ashley offers valuable advice on finding happiness, achieving well-being, and transforming relationships—with ourselves and others—through a process of healing. His work with The Azaylia Foundation continues to inspire people all over the world, offering hope and support to families facing similar tragedies. Please note: This episode covers sensitive topics like child loss and grief, which may be difficult for some listeners. -- Ashley's Book: Strong - https://g2ul0.app.link/Ow8Hgaq5HNb Ashley's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/SWyyCc2UGNb Ashley's Charity - The Azaylia Foundation https://g2ul0.app.link/YP3IHk8UGNb -- Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod -- 02:19 - How Are You Feeling Right Now? 03:18 - Growing Up Mixed Race: Challenges And Experiences 04:57 - How Race And Upbringing Shaped Ashley's Identity 08:01 - If You Could Change Your Past, Would You? 10:06 - How Football Transformed Ashley's Life 11:42 - Life After Football: Losing Fame And Status 13:49 - Becoming A Dad For The First Time 15:38 - When Ashley Discovered Azaylia's Illness 22:57 - Staying Positive And Advocating For Azaylia's Health 32:35 - How To Cope With Trauma 38:50 - Supporting Men Through Trauma: Advice For Partners 42:08 - The Male Mental Health Crisis: What Needs To Change 50:39 - Shopify And Tinder Ad Break 52:32 - Is Ashley Truly Happy? 54:36 - Ashley's Wellness Journey 56:31 - The 6 Dimensions Of Psychological Wellbeing Explained 01:00:10 - How To Handle Trauma In Relationships 01:02:50 - What Ashley Would Change About His Past Relationships 01:03:27 - Relationship Advice: Loving A Man Like Ashley 01:05:00 - Is Ashley Single Right Now? 01:05:55 - Is Ashley Open To Dating? 01:07:00 - Who Should Make The First Move In Dating? 01:08:00 - Chirpsing Roleplay: How To Approach Someone 01:12:10 - How Opening Up Has Affected Ashley 01:12:46 - The Most Memorable Conversation Ashley's Had 01:15:09 - Paul's Key Takeaways -- Sponsored by: Shopify - www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB

In this episode, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, world-renowned relationship experts and founders of The Gottman Institute, share their research-based insights into what truly makes relationships work. With over 50 years of research on marital stability and parenting, they dive deep into key issues like how contempt can destroy your immune system, and why certain toxic behaviors—like criticism and stonewalling—are major red flags in relationships. They also debunk common myths such as "Never go to bed angry" and explain how empathy and emotional intelligence are critical to lasting love. The Gottmans provide practical advice on how to manage conflict, heal from childhood trauma, and create deeper emotional connections. Whether you're navigating daily disagreements or looking to rebuild trust after betrayal, this conversation is filled with valuable takeaways to help you strengthen your relationship and build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership. Find the Gottmans here: The Gottman Institute - https://g2ul0.app.link/H16ipH9ywNb Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/CJZlSOczwNb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Topics: 00:00 - Intro   02:02 - Do People Still Believe In Marriage Today?   09:23 - What Defines A Successful Marriage In Modern Times?   13:09 - What Percentage Of Couples Are Truly Happy In Their Relationships?   15:47 - Inside Paul’s Matchmaking Process On MAFS (Married At First Sight)   17:51 - Are Successful Couples Less Exciting? The Truth About Stability   21:24 - What Is The Love Lab And How Does It Work?   22:38 - Shocking Discoveries From The Love Lab: What Science Says About Love   26:18 - The Power Of The 'Six Second Kiss' In Relationships   29:38 - Do The Gottmans Use Their Own Research In Their Marriage?   32:51 - How Important Is Sex For A Healthy Relationship?   37:46 - Why Date Night Matters More Than You Think   40:37 - The Ingredients Of A Perfect Date: How To Get It Right   43:03 - Paul's Ultimate First Date Test: Does It Predict Success?   45:52 - The Key Principles Of A Successful Marriage Revealed   49:46 - The Top Reason Couples Fight And How To Avoid It   50:45 - The Different Conflict Styles In Marriage: Which One Are You?   55:27 - Is Conflict Good For Your Relationship? Here’s The Answer   57:22 - How Important Is Compatibility In A Relationship?   58:40 - The Questions You Should Ask To Truly Understand Your Partner   01:06:16 - How To Resolve Conflicts And Strengthen Your Relationship   01:08:57 - Should You Stay With A Partner Who Won't Resolve Conflicts?   01:11:10 - Tinder Ad: How Modern Dating Apps Are Changing Relationships   01:12:12 - The Four Horsemen Of Relationships And Why Contempt Is The Worst   01:14:47 - When Is It Time To End A Relationship? Key Signs To Watch For   01:16:24 - What Is Flooding In Relationships And How To Manage It   01:18:46 - How To Self-Soothe When You’re Emotionally Overwhelmed   01:21:17 - Should You 'Never Go To Bed Angry'? The Real Answer   01:22:22 - Can You Rebuild Trust After Infidelity? Here’s How   01:28:33 - How To Know If Your Relationship Is Failing: Warning Signs   01:31:26 - What’s The Most Memorable Relationship Conversation You’ve Had?   01:35:00 - Outro   01:35:28 - Paul’s Final Takeaways On Love And Relationships Sponsored by: Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB