Ep 255: Can You Tell Me How to Get… to the Bar?

No guest this week, but Mark and Sam go deep on bombs, butt-plug subway sightings, Skankfest chaos, slow eaters, Chipotle crimes, Utah threesomes, Knicks heartbreak, Fallon and Stiller encounters, panic attacks on stage, AI nightmares, Hedberg memories, and a full tour through comedy hell gigs. This one has everything: rants, peeves, wild stories, wisdom, filth, and a surprising amount of baseball. Sponsored by: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today athttps://shopify.com/drunk Find your forever cookware @hexclad Visit https://hexclad.com and cook like a pro. #hexcladpartner For a limited time, get 40 percent off your entire order Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code WMBD F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15 percent off with the code DRUNK15 https://theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril tickets: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand tickets: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #Shopify #Hexclad #GetSoul #PerfectJean #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No one riffs like Pete Holmes. The boys sit down with the King of Whimsy for a wild ride of comedy philosophy, stroke stories, Seinfeld deep dives, porno charts, music bits, youth pastor energy, and the eternal mystery of the trumpet. Plus, they break down the art of delivery, the curse of crowd work, LA vs NYC hangs, kid-fucking Mike callbacks, and why Pete wants comedians thrown off stage by ICE. A classic WMBD hang. Sponsored by: Shop Mint Unlimited Plans at https://MINTMOBILE.com/WMBD Give the gift of smooth this holiday season with The Performance Package 5.0 Ultra. Get 15% OFF your entire order with code WMBD at https://Manscaped.com Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/DRUNK #Ridgepod Go to https://Lucy.co/DRUNK and use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #PeteHolmes #MarkNormand #SamMorril #MintMobile #Manscaped #RidgeWallet #Lucy #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Thanksgiving and Daniel Sloss is back in the studio, carving up the holiday with Mark and Sam. The guys get into cultural differences around Thanksgiving, wild road stories, questionable European toilets, serial killer documentaries, expat nightmares, and why coke apparently makes you clean the house. Plus, they break down holiday movies, Russell Brand’s mess, comics on the road, and the most unhinged list of slurs ever read on a podcast. A true holiday classic. Sponsored by: F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code DRUNK15 at https://theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15#theperfectjeanpod To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #DanielSloss #ComedyPodcast #Thanksgiving #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No better way to be back in the studio than with comedy legend Judd Apatow. Mark and Sam go deep on the road, European gigs, bombing at the clubs, and why some crowds just refuse to laugh. Judd talks Larry Sanders, Sandler stories, Rodney Dangerfield in a bathrobe, writing on The Critic, the legacy of Norm Macdonald, and what comedy still gets right. Plus, behind-the-scenes of classics like Anchorman, Bridesmaids, Pineapple Express, and what it actually takes to make a real, modern comedy movie. Sponsored by: For a limited time, get 40% off your entire order! Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code WMBD. Go to https://sheath.com and use promo code Drunk for 20% off. Just click the link in the description or go to https://buyraycon.com/mightbedrunk to save on Raycon audio products sitewide. Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/drunk50off and use code drunk50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #JuddApatow #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey00:00 Back from Europe: Reunion & Travel Tales 03:00 Comedy Hangouts Abroad: Seinfeld & More 08:00 Crazy Tour Stories: Flights, Gigs, and Near Misses 13:00 Getting Sick on the Road & European Audiences 17:00 Crowd Differences: Stockholm to Amsterdam 22:00 Favorite Bars, Cities & Wild Nightlife Encounters 28:00 Weird European Habits & Cultural Clashes 33:00 Travel Peeves: ATMs, Coffee, Hotel Check-Ins 36:00 Planes, Trains & American Pride 40:00 Comedy Special Moments & Meeting Sandler 42:00 Judd Apatow Joins: Classic Comedy Stories 46:00 Rodney Dangerfield & Early Comedy Days 52:00 Behind the Scenes: Larry Sanders & The Critic 01:00:00 Norm Macdonald: Legacy and Documentary 01:10:00 Comedy Docs: Hicks, Carlin, and Comic Greats 01:17:00 Comedy Industry Changes & Making Movies Today 01:25:00 Notes, Failures & Navigating Hollywood 01:35:00 Comedy Movie Memories: From Anchorman to Bridesmaids 01:41:00 Diane Keaton, Annie Hall & Iconic Performances 01:46:00 Long Island Comedy Roots & Standup Scenes 01:51:00 Tour Dates, Plugs & Closing Remarks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roy Wood Jr. joins Mark and Sam for a killer episode packed with road stories, comedy history, and hard-earned wisdom. The guys swap tales about bombing on Star Search, opening for Ron White, taking a private jet with Adam Sandler, and what really happens when you accidentally use the headliner’s bathroom. Roy breaks down life after The Daily Show, the future of stand-up specials, and lessons learned from his dad, his peers, and decades in the game. Sponsored by: Start your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/drunk Ditch the cigarettes and vapes — grab some nicotine-infused toothpicks at https://zippixtoothpicks.com and get 10% off with code WMBD Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #RoyWoodJr #Shopify #ZippixToothpicks #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #bodegacatwhiskey 00:00 Welcome Back & Comedy Recap 02:00 Canadian Tour Stories & Comedy Scenes 05:00 Comedy Clubs, Taping, and Old School Touring 11:00 Arena Tours & Touring with Sandler 18:00 Hoops at Under Armour & Tour Perks 25:00 Comedy Roasts: Culture and Legends 32:00 Roast Dynamics in Black & Mainstream Comedy 40:00 Comedy Specials, Industry vs. Internet 47:00 DIY Specials & Releasing Content Today 55:00 Changing Technology & Audience Building 01:02:00 Evolving Material & Reaching New Fans 01:11:00 Comedy Museums & Immortalizing Legends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fiona Cauley joins Mark and Sam for a wild one — from Vegas hangovers and bad hecklers to the real talk about living with Friedreich’s Ataxia, hitting the road, and crushing Kill Tony. They get into Charlie Sheen’s crack-fueled charm, awkward sex-club stories, and Fiona’s unreal crowd-work moment that connected her with a gene-therapy exec who might actually help cure her disease. Dark jokes, big laughs, and plenty of heart in this one. Sponsored by: Go to https://Lucy.co/DRUNK and use promo code DRUNK to get 20% off your first order. Go to https://quince.com/drunk for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/DRUNK. Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets — Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #FionaCauley #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey #Lucy #Quince #Hims #GothamProductionStudios Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s a Halloween special with Sal Vulcano and Gary Vider joining Mark and Sam, dressed up as your favorite Sesame Street crew—Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, and Elmo. It’s candy, chaos, and comedy as the guys debate kids’ TV, Blippi’s wild past, and overpriced Italian dinners. Plus, Iceland adventures, Joe Pesci stories, and the world’s worst toy memories. Sponsored by: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trial https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK Get 50% off your first Factor box + free breakfast for a year with code DRUNK50OFF https://www.factormeals.com/drunk50off Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: Matthew Peters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #SalVulcano #GaryVider #HalloweenEpisode #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #SesameStreet #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from Are You Garbage? join Mark and Sam for a booze-soaked reunion full of road stories, Philly nonsense, and deep dives into what makes a real piece of trash. They swap wild comedy club tales, debate classy vs. garbage behavior, and take a few shots along the way. Are You Garbage Podcast: https://areyougarbage.com | YouTube Sponsored by: Go to https://sheath.com and use promo code Drunk for 20% off. Your new fall wardrobe awaits. For free shipping and 365-day returns, head to https://www.quince.com/drunk Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code drunks at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/drunks #chubbiespod Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBDMerch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/ticketsMark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD:https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #KevinRyan #HFoley #AreYouGarbage #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whitney Cummings joins Mark and Sam for a wild one packed with sharp takes and unfiltered laughs — from Woody Allen and cancel culture to body image, internet addiction, and old-man groping scandals. They dive deep into pet peeves, parenting chaos, overcommitment, and why men love confrontation but never fix their hair. Plus, Whitney opens up about sobriety, losing her laptop in a NYC cab, and the art of being “too busy to actually get anything done.” Sponsored by: Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today. Head to https://www.hims.com/DRUNK F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code DRUNK15 at https://theperfectjean.nyc/DRUNK15 #theperfectjeanpod If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DRUNK Support the show and sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trial at https://www.shopify.com/DRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD: https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #WhitneyCummings #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matt McCusker joins the boys this week for a wild one — fresh off taping his new Netflix special. They get into the chaos of recording hours, arena gigs with Shane Gillis, junkyard dogs, sticklers for the rules, the chili pad revolution, and why shower sex scenes are total lies. Plus, peeves, recs, and a deep dive into old-school internet filth like Lemon Party. Sponsored by: 💻 Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month Shopify trialhttps://www.shopify.com/DRUNK 🎧 Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD 🛒 Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ 🎬 Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ 🎙️ Check out That Sounds Right — the comedy panel show hosted by the producer of WMBD:https://www.youtube.com/@thatsoundsrightshow Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #MattMcCusker #RocketMoney #CornbreadHemp #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices