246: How to Change the Thoughts That Hurt Your Relationship

Therapy is a big investment of time, finances, and energy. How can you make your time in therapy as productive as possible? How can you prepare for your sessions, and apply what you’ve learned to the rest of your life? And how do you choose a therapist in the first place? Joel and I explore these questions and more as we consider how you can get more out of every therapy session. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Therapy is a place where you can say things you wouldn't share anywhere else. But what if you're afraid of what your therapist is going to think of you? Joel and I explore common fears that come up in psychotherapy, what's behind them, and how to address them so they don't get in the way. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

There's nothing more important for your well-being than having good relationships. But countless people find themselves feeling isolated and alone, with few real friends. Joel and I explore effective ways to meet new people, including how to address common obstacles like anxiety and depression. Discover small, practical steps you can take toward building more connection in your daily life. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Out-of-control anxiety can dominate your thoughts and direct your actions. In this conversation Joel and I explore many effective ways to tame anxiety so you can live more freely. Use these practices every day to loosen the grip of anxious thoughts and feelings and find greater peace.The practices we discuss come from my just-released book, Your Daily Reset. This guide offers 366 exercises for managing stress and anxiety, one for every day of the year. If you use one of these links, some of the purchase price will go toward supporting this podcast, at no additional cost to you: Amazon Bookshop . Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is dealing with a child’s challenging emotions. Many of the same skills that help in your relationship with your child can also help in managing your own feelings. In this episode Joel and I explore how to diffuse difficult emotions rather than adding fuel to the fire, integrating firmness and warmth, and investing in a long-term relationship with yourself. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Your mental habits have a powerful effect on the health of your relationship. In this episode Joel and I explore some of the common cognitive distortions that can drive a wedge between partners, such as mind reading, personalizing, shoulding, and the blame bias. Discover how to recognize and see through these distortions. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

What is emotional intelligence (EI)? Where does it comes from? And what are its benefits? Joel and I also discuss what you can do to increase your ability to recognize and work with emotions, whether your own or others'. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Stress management includes more than just trying to calm down when you’re overwhelmed. Joel and I explore a 360-degree approach to managing stress, from what you eat and how you spend your time to doing breathwork and setting boundaries in relationships, and more. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Joel and I explore what intrusive thoughts are, what causes them, what makes them worse, and how to deal with them more effectively. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

There is an ongoing debate about what makes therapy effective. Is it aspects of the therapist? What the patient brings to treatment? Common factors that cut across all psychotherapy, or specific elements of certain treatment programs? Joel and I explore these questions and discuss our own views on why therapy works. Here is a link to the classic review that Joel mentioned about psychotherapy clinical outcome studies: Meta-analysis of Psychotherapy Outcome Studies. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe