310. The Grieving Body: An Interview with Mary-Frances O’Connor

Black-and-white thinking shows up everywhere in grief - in the harsh judgments we make about ourselves, in the impossible standards we hold ourselves to, and in the rigid rules we create about how healing should look.   It's that voice that says you're either doing grief "right" or you're failing completely, with no room for the messy middle ground where most of us actually live.   In this week’s episode, you’ll learn a more gentle way of thinking about your grief journey. I show you how to break free from black-and-white thinking, and why making space for nuance might be exactly what you need.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/318

In this episode, I'm addressing the productivity pressure that so many widows face - that nagging feeling that you should be doing more, moving faster, or getting back to normal. This isn't just about recognizing the pressure; it's about understanding how deeply our culture has tied our sense of worth to our output.   Join me this week to discover how to identify when productivity pressure is affecting your grief process, even when you think you're just being realistic. I share specific questions to help you examine your beliefs about rest and worthiness, and most importantly, you'll learn why slowing down isn't failure - it's actually essential for processing grief.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/317

While cleaning light fixtures in my home, I discovered layers of built-up dirt that had dimmed what were actually crystal-clear glass fixtures. For years, I had accepted the clouded appearance as normal, never questioning if something better lay beneath. This simple household revelation sparked a powerful metaphor for how we often settle into life after loss.   I understand firsthand how we can unknowingly plateau in our grief journey. We reach a point where we're functioning and surviving, but not truly thriving.    If you feel like you’re in a grief plateau - that space after the sharp edge of loss has dulled, but life still feels flat and uninspired - this episode is for you.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/316

As I navigate intense emotions using my regular tapping practice, I've noticed a common pattern that many of us fall into during grief - attempting to smooth over difficult feelings with gratitude.    While gratitude is undeniably powerful and beneficial, I've observed how it can sometimes become a way to bypass emotions that need to be felt and processed. Tune in this week to learn how you might be unconsciously using gratitude as a shield against experiencing the full depth of your grief.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/315

Living a full and meaningful life after loss isn't about waiting until you feel completely ready - it's about recognizing the subtle signs that you're prepared to take those first steps forward.   Many widowed moms find themselves in what I call a "grief plateau." If this is you, it's time to move beyond merely surviving to truly thriving. In this episode, I explore the five key signs that suggest you're more ready than you think to love life again, even if uncertainty and sadness still linger.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/314

Is true happiness possible without pursuing another romantic relationship? This is a question many widows contemplate privately.    In this episode, I break down what it means to build a steady, loving relationship with yourself and how to create genuine fulfillment as a widow. I discuss why rushing into dating from a place of discomfort can lead to settling for less than you deserve, and share practical ways to develop a sense of wholeness that isn't dependent on having a partner.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/313

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, I sit down with my client Janet Lea who shares her experience of grief after losing her wife of 43 years. Janet's perspective is fresh—she's approaching the one-year mark since Mary Lou's passing—and her insights are both heartbreaking and illuminating.   Join us this week as Janet lets us in on the realities of grief—from the unexpected ways it manifests physically to the well-intentioned but unhelpful things people say. Whether you're newly widowed or supporting someone who is, Janet's story offers valuable insights about navigating loss, asking for help, and finding your way forward without a roadmap.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/312  

“Am I doing this wrong?” The question haunts so many of us on our grief journey. We look around at other widows, compare our progress to arbitrary timelines, and wonder if our unique experience somehow means we're failing at grief.   In this episode, I tackle the common fear that there's a "right way" to grieve and explain where this anxiety actually comes from.    Join me this week as I explore the pressure to grieve according to societal expectations, the common fears of grieving “wrong” or not doing enough, and questions to ask yourself instead of focusing on whether you’re grieving correctly.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/311

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so physical? Why your heart races, your sleep vanishes, and your body aches when you're mourning the loss of someone you love?    In this illuminating episode, I welcome back renowned grief researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to discuss her new book, The Grieving Body, which explores the profound physical impact of grief. Dr. O'Connor explains that grief isn't just emotional—it's deeply embodied. When we lose someone we love, it's like an amputation; part of our physical regulatory system is suddenly gone.    Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/310

Are you filling every hour of your day since your partner died?   Maybe well-meaning friends have advised you to “just stay busy” or “give it time” as if these are magical solutions to grief. While staying busy can provide temporary relief, it might actually be keeping you stuck in your grief journey without you even realizing it.   Staying busy can feel like a way to maintain control when everything else feels unpredictable. But there’s a crucial difference between healthy distraction and avoidance. Today, I’m exploring when busyness supports us and when it’s a form of avoidance that takes us further from the life we want to build next.   Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/309