308. It might get worse before it get's better

Why do we form intense, one-sided bonds with people we've never met? From favourite podcasters and social media influencers to beloved fictional characters, parasocial relationships are a defining feature of modern life – but what do these seemingly non-reciprocal connections truly reveal about our need for connection? In today’s episode, we explore the psychology of parasocial relationships: why our brains are wired for these intimate-at-a-distance bonds, and how they play a surprisingly significant role, especially in our twenties. We explore: Characteristics of parasocial relationships Why our ancient brains are predisposed to form these connections The parasocial relationships spectrum, from casual engagement to pathological obsession The profound positive benefits of companionship and role modelling When parasocial relationships become imbalanced How to cultivate healthy engagement with online personalities   Whether you feel like you're best friends with a YouTuber or just curious about the invisible ties that bind us to media figures, this episode is for you.   Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sharing a little life update with you around my mental health, my physical health, where my minds at, what I've been struggling with and how I'm constantly reminded that life can always get better!!!!! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]      The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We've all seen the headlines about celebrity couples with significant age differences. We’ve heard the stereotypes, from "trophy partners" and “cougar’s” to "she must have daddy issues". But what is the genuine psychological pull that draws individuals to partners that are much older or younger? In today’s episode, we explore the psychology behind the often speculated age gap relationships. Things we discuss: Why evolutionary perspectives paint an incomplete picture The value of intergenerational platonic relationships Challenging stereotypes and stigma How to navigate different life stages The role of communication and shared values in building healthy age gap relationships If you're in an age gap relationship, interested in understanding them better, or simply intrigued by the nuances of human connection, this episode is for you.   Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you feel as though you’re living in a constant whirlwind of deadlines, drama, and endless tasks, yet secretly feel a thrill from the chaos? This episode unpacks the question, ‘are we addicted to chaos?’ and why our brains might actually be drawn to this tumultuous state. We dive into the neurochemical rewards that hook us, how this plays out in our relationships and careers, and the hidden costs of living in perpetual overwhelm. We look at the deeper psychological roots and learn actionable steps to cultivate intentional calm amidst life's inevitable pressures. Things we discuss:• Why dopamine and adrenaline make chaos feel rewarding• The draw of novelty, intensity, and seeking stimulation• How chaos manifests in our lives• The hidden costs of chronic chaos• Psychological roots of our addiction to chaos• Actionable strategies to reclaim calm and redefine productivity in your twenties If your life feels like a constant fire drill, or you suspect you secretly thrive on the last-minute rush, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegFollow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcastFor business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever found yourself hitting play on that song, and instantly, a wave of emotion hits you, or you’re transported back to a forgotten summer, a specific laugh, a past version of yourself? It feels like magic, right? But beneath those goosebumps and surges of feeling lies an incredible, intricate psychological dance. In today's episode, we’re diving deep into the psychology of music – exploring why this universal language speaks directly to our nervous system, how it shapes our memories and identity, and critically, how we use it to cope (for better or worse) in our twenties. We explore:  Why music evokes a full body experience Music and nostalgia  How music develops and shapes our identity When music can act as a coping mechanism How to use music to shift your mood and focus  If you've ever felt like your life has a custom soundtrack, or if you can't imagine a day without your headphones, this episode is for you.   Listen to Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why does personal growth sometimes feel like a quiet loss? Ever look back at an old photo and feel a strange mix of nostalgia and sadness for the person you once were? You're evolving, becoming stronger, wiser, but there's still a strange ache for the person you used to be. In today's episode, we explore the psychology behind this often-unspoken phenomenon of grieving our past selves. Things we discuss: What it means to grieve a former 'you’ The role of disenfranchised grief  The ‘nostalgia trap’ Our evolving sense of self and the fluidity of identity Why we romanticise the past How we can integrate past versions of ourselves and embracing growth If you've ever felt that subtle pang for a past version of yourself, this episode is for you! Listen to Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"Sorry, can I just say something?", "sorry to bother you!", "oh, sorry!" - sound familiar? If you find yourself saying "sorry" for taking up space, having an opinion, or even when someone else bumps into you, you're not alone. That tiny, five-letter word, meant for genuine remorse, often becomes a reflex, a way to make ourselves smaller, more agreeable, and to diffuse a discomfort that sometimes only exists in our own minds. In today’s episode, we’re exploring chronic apologising - we'll uncover how this seemingly polite habit can actually be a sign of deeper anxieties, impact our self-worth, and shape our experiences in our 20s. Things we discuss: Why apologising goes beyond politeness Ties to self-worth, anxiety and attachment Over-apologising as barriers to true connection Reclaiming your voice in your career Practical steps to break the habit  If you’ve ever felt like you're apologising for your very existence, or if "sorry" has become your default setting, this episode is for you.  Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=ea4a5f5a61e5414a  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever wondered why everyone seems to break up just before 28? Or why your friend who was just about to settle down with her boyfriend of 7 years is suddenly single and wanting to go out clubbing again? Or why you suddenly realised your long term relationship wasn't for you, and found yourself in Europe or on 4 dates in a row the next week? It's because of post long-term relationship puberty: a term that describes the rapid personality change that takes place in people who have been in a relationship for most of their 20s, but suddenly find themselves single in their late 20s, ready to make up for lost time. In today's episode we describe the end of long-term relationships in our 20s, including:  The 7 year itch Why we suddenly realise someone isn't right for us  The growth that happens after a breakup Why people settle in their 20s The pros and cons of single life vs. dating life  How to not go back to your ex  How to embrace your single era  Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why are we so obsessed with the dark side of life? From true crime and horror movies to disaster documentaries and haunted house tours, morbid curiosity is everywhere - but what does it actually say about us? In today’s episode, we explore the psychology of morbid curiosity - why we’re drawn to frightening, disturbing, and even grotesque content, and how this strange pull might be more adaptive than we think. We discuss: What morbid curiosity really is, and how it shows up in daily life The four types of morbid curiosity (and which ones you might lean toward) How personality traits like openness and sensation seeking shape our preferences Why some people find comfort in horror, and others find control in true crime The evolutionary and neurological roots of this phenomenon How morbid curiosity can turn maladaptive (and where the line is) Whether you're deep into Reddit rabbit holes or just wondering why you can't look away from crime scene documentaries, this episode is for you. We explore the fascinating science behind fear, survival, and our cultural obsession with darkness - and why it might say more about our strength than our weakness.   ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It is our 300th episode and 4 YEARS since The Psychology of your 20s first began. To celebrate, I'm releasing one of my most requested topics ever that has nothing to do with psychology: how do you start a podcast? More broadly, why is it a good idea? What do I wish I'd known when I'd started? How much does the gear cost? What happens if no one listens? All your burning questions on my journey and where to start will be covered (along with a few tears of gratitude), thank you for 300 episodes and giving me the best job ever! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.