IFS for Everyday Life with Joanna Curry-Sartori

On today's episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions.  Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what's happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts, and then return to the interaction. In This Episode We Talk About: • How to bring IFS into everyday moments • PAUSE as a way to slow down and notice what's happening inside • Using IFS in relationships, parenting, and classrooms • How to stay with your parts instead of reacting • What do you notice in yourself right before you react? • What can change when you turn inward first About Joanna Curry-Sartori Joanna Curry-Sartori, LMFT, is the Founder and President of the Self-Leadership Collaborative. She leads work focused on bringing Internal Family Systems into everyday life—at home, at work, in schools, and in communities. With over twenty years of experience working with young people, educators, parents, and community leaders, her work centers on helping people access and live from Self leadership together. Joanna is the author of The Self-Led Educator: An IFS Guide to Create Calm, Compassionate, and Confident Learning Communities. Learn more at www.selfleadershipcollaborative.com Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Souliology. Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits. Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve. Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

On today's episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it's like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads Together Beyond Words, an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening and connection. Her work is guided by the belief that pain that is not transformed is transmitted. After the attacks of October 7 and the immense grief and trauma that followed, Nitsan realized the need for healing had grown beyond what her organization had been doing. Today nearly 80 volunteers are offering ongoing support, and dozens of groups have been created where Israelis and Palestinians can process trauma, grief, and fear together. As you listen, I invite you to notice your own parts. What comes up for you as you hear these stories? What do you feel in your body? For me, this conversation was a reminder of the power of curiosity, one-on-one connection, and the courage it takes to stay present and open in our divided world. In This Episode We Talk About: • What it's like living in Israel today. • Nitsan's organization Together Beyond Words, which brings Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through shared healing. • The idea that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted." • A powerful IFS session she had with Dick Schwartz. • How the events of October 7 changed her work. • Why people need separate spaces to grieve before they can reunite. • When she realized the level of trauma requires an "army of healers." • How the Healing for Peace initiative grew from a handful of volunteers to nearly 80. • Why facilitators working in conflict zones are learning IFS tools like unblending and working with polarizations. About Nitsan Joy Gordon Nitsan Joy Gordon is a Dance/Movement Therapist, IFS therapist, and peacebuilder who has been working in Israel/Palestine for over three decades. Her work lives at the meeting point of movement, deep listening, and compassionate presence, creating spaces where pain shaped by conflict can be felt, witnessed, and transformed. She is the author of Together Beyond Words: Women on a Quest for Peace in the Middle East and the initiator of Army of Healers, an offering of safe spaces to feel and heal across deep divides. Learn more at: Together Beyond Words. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

On today's episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast. Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how "being nice" can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what's really happening inside. If you've ever swallowed your needs to keep the peace, felt resentful after saying yes, or worried that one mistake could cost you connection, our conversation will resonate. We Explore: • Why "Are you mad at me?" isn't really a question, but a feeling. • The difference between being nice and being compassionate. • How grief challenges the hope that if we try harder, we'll finally be seen. • Small corrective experiences that help our parts learn we're actually safe. Here's a link to the workshop she mentioned in the episode. About Meg Josephson Meg Josephson, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Are You Mad at Me?, which has been translated into over 20 languages. In her private practice, she specializes in trauma-informed care through a mindfulness-based, compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University. Episode Sponsor: Cape Cod Institute Deepen your IFS practice at the Cape Cod Institute this summer, now in its 46th year. Choose from 38 half-day courses, either in person on Cape Cod or live online. Spend your mornings learning, and your afternoons applying insights, connecting with colleagues, or exploring the Cape. If you use IFS, this is a rare opportunity to learn directly from the people shaping the model. A dedicated IFS Week features Richard Schwartz and IFS practitioners teaching couples work, addictive processes, leadership, disordered eating, and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Learn more and register at cape.org, and use code theoneinside2026 for $50 off. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

In today's episode, I welcome my friend Marcella Cox back to the podcast. Marcella is a certified IFS therapist, approved consultant, and somatic IFS assistant trainer. She's also a certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore provider, and the lead author of the new guidelines for integrating IFS with these listening therapies. We talk about: The basics of polyvagal theory How our nervous system states impact our parts Why co-regulation is central to healing The difference between SSP (connection to others) and Rest and Restore (connection to Self) How listening therapies can support safety in the body and allow more Self Energy to emerge I also share my own experience trying SSP with Marcella. I experienced some surprising physical shifts and insights that came up after a few short listening sessions. If you're curious about nervous system regulation and how it can deepen your IFS work, I think you'll really appreciate this conversation. About Marcella Cox Marcella Cox, LMFT, is a therapist, author, and presenter devoted to exploring the intersection of embodiment, trauma healing, and eating disorder recovery. She is a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist, an Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and an Assistant Trainer for Somatic IFS, the model developed by Susan McConnell. She provides consultation and leads workshops, trainings, and retreats for professionals on IFS for disordered eating, Somatic IFS, and integrating IFS with the Safe & Sound Protocol and is the lead author of the IFS and Listening Therapies (Safe and Sound Protocol and Rest and Restore Protocol) Combined Delivery Guidelines, published through Unyte in January 2026. Marcella is the founder and executive director of Kindful Body, which provides online therapy and nutrition counseling for eating and body concerns in California. She is also the co-founder of the IFS Consultation Collective, offering weekly consultation with IFS lead trainers.  To learn more about combining IFS and Unyte's listening therapies: https://integratedlistening.com/resources/ifs-and-listening-therapies/ Marcella's SSP & IFS groups: https://www.kindfulbody.com/somatic-ifs-and-ssp-group/ Sign up for Marcella's newsletter to find out about upcoming offerings Kindful Body on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kindfulbody/ Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston. Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community.  About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

On today's episode I chat with Keith and Courtney, cohosts of the podcast Tripping Over Love. Keith is licensed therapist and a Level 3 IFS Consultant, and Courtney is journalist and podcaster. They joined me to share their beautiful, messy love story. We dive into the courage it takes to start over, the "trauma" of the dating apps, and how they've used Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychedelics to navigate the "breakups, breakdowns, and breakthroughs" of their relationship . We discuss: Starting relationships with truth instead of performance. Radical transparency — "starting with the ending" — as a foundation for trust. Why telling the truth early can save a relationship later. Loving someone while still grieving a past life. Speaking for parts instead of from them in moments of conflict. Finding the courage to try again after loss and heartbreak. Dating is messy: Getting honest about the "thrift store shopping" energy of dating apps. The difference between loving someone and being "in love." IFS as "four-wheel drive": Turning toward the model when relationships get stuck. How psychedelic-assisted journeys helped unlock grief — and create space to love again. Extended Interview At the end of our chat, I asked them each for one piece of advice for couples. This extended interviews is available for paid subscribers over on The One Inside Substack.  Connect with Keith and Courtney: Podcast: Tripping Over Love Substack About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

On today's episode I welcome my friend David Stern to the podcast. This conversation feels so perfect right now. It's full of the kind of hope we all need. David has this beautiful way of seeing the spiritual dimension in everything we do. David calls us to remember our "Pure Soul"—the part of us that is already peaceful and cannot be destroyed. He talks about parts as "angels in disguise," the ones inside that have taken on difficult roles to protect that inner light. If you're looking for a way to stay connected to yourself in a chaotic world, this episode is a sacred reminder that your essence is always already okay. We Explore: Why David looks for the unbridled aliveness in every person he meets. Reimagining our parts as refractions of a primal, divine intelligence. How to hold the "horrors" of the world while still choosing to love our people and stay present. Practicing "remembrance" to help shift out of the noise and back into your heart. About David David Stern, Psy.D. is a licensed psycholgoist, certified IFS consultant, dedicated teacher, and the creator of the Thinking Heart IFS Intensive. He also co-founded IFS Healers, an online Community of Practice designed to foster connection, deepen learning, and build community among IFS practitioners. David has trained hundreds of students worldwide and has presented at the IFS International Conference and consults with practitioners globally. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend Daphne Fatter for a timely and honest conversation about what so many of us are navigating right now, as therapists, as parents, and as humans living in a polarized and chaotic time. We talk about nervous system overwhelm, numb and checked-out parts, news consumption, activism, community connection, and how to stay grounded when things feel "too much." We also touch on Daphne's new book: Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy. In this episode: Why so many of us feel numb, frozen, or checked out right now Normalizing survival responses and protectors during times of stress How polarization shows up both culturally and inside our own systems Staying curious about people with different political perspectives Finding ways to stay informed without burning out on the news Why connection, shared humanity, and community matter so much right now I get blended a few times in this episode and say, "I can't believe I said that." This is such a great example of how quickly any of us can blend with passionate and opinionated parts when navigating stressful topics.  Be sure to check out my extended interview with Daphne over on Substack. About Daphne Daphne Fatter, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, integrative trauma consultant, author, and international speaker specializing in integrative trauma-informed therapies. She is the author of Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy and is widely recognized for her expertise in blending parts work with evidence-based trauma modalities. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

Today I welcome David Polidi, Bruce Hersey, and Joanne Twombly on the podcast to talk about their new book, IFS-Informed EMDR: Creative and Collaborative Appraoches. We talk about why this book is needed, what it took to bring together more than 20 contributors, and why integrating these models can create more options, more flexibility, and more hope for clients.  We talk about: Bringing together 21 contributors and creating a true community project Why integration can help when clients get stuck in one modality The idea that there is a natural, underlying healing process beyond any single model  Coping skills, resourcing, and the diverging views on when and how to use them  Joanne's "fire drill" and using IFS to work with therapist countertransference  Why strong foundational training in both IFS and EMDR matters before integrating them  The belief that there is no "perfect model," and that relationship and Self Energy matter most  There's a lot of heart here, a lot of theory, and a lot of love for clients, the field, and each other. I'm excited for you to listen, and be sure to catch my extended interview with them over on Substack. About the Guests Bruce Hersey, LCSW is widely recognized for his work integrating EMDR and IFS. Together with Michelle Richardson, he created the Syzygy Institute, which offers training and certification in IIE. Bruce is an Approved Consultant in EMDR and an IFS Approved Clinical Consultant, providing individual and group IFS and IIE consultation. He has led numerous IFS workshops and presented at the IFS International Conference, as well as EMDRIA and international EMDR conferences.  www.syzygyinstitute.com, www.brucehersey.com, and www.emdrifs.com. David Polidi, LICSW, M.Ed. is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and a Certified EMDR Consultant in Training, and has also been trained in IFS. He has worked with children and families since 2000 and has been in private practice for the past five years. David developed and facilitates the online couples workshop Deepen the Conversation, and hosts the podcast Empowered Through Compassion, where he speaks with innovators in psychology about integrating EMDR, IFS, and other trauma-healing approaches. www.empoweredthroughcompassion.com. Joanne H. Twombly, LICSW is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with over thirty years of experience working with Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders. She is a Certified EMDR Consultant and an IFS Certified Therapist. Joanne is a Trauma and Recovery Humanitarian Assistance Program Facilitator and a Clinical Hypnosis Consultant. She is the past president of the New England Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation and has received a Distinguished Achievement Award from the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, where she is also an ISSTD Fellow. Joanne recently published Trauma and Dissociation Informed Internal Family Systems: How to Successfully Treat Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders. www.joannetwombly.net. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

Today's episode is a little different, in a really wonderful way. I sit down with Dick Schwartz and Jeanne Catanzaro, President and Vice President of the IFS Institute, and partners in both leadership and life. This isn't a traditional interview; it's more like listening in on friends and colleagues talking about the things they care about, the serious, the personal, and the very human. I've been feeling curious about what's happening inside IFS leadership right now. The model keeps growing, reaching more people, and carrying more responsibility with it. I wanted to hear directly from Dick and Jeanne about what that growth and momentum have been like for them, not just in terms of roles and plans, but personally and as partners. In this candid conversation, we explore questions many of you have been holding. What happens as the Institute grows? Is Dick going to retire? What does transition even look like? We talk about all of that, but in a funny, sometimes ridiculous, and very real way. What I hope you hear is the care, thoughtfulness, and humanity behind the scenes of both the IFS Institute and the IFS model. We talk about: Jeanne stepping into leadership and visibility over time What it means to steward a model that's bigger than any one person Succession, responsibility, and caring for the future of IFS Collaboration and "sharing the stage" Knowing when to take a break from "parts talk" Bringing IFS beyond the therapy room and into the wider world Holding research, spirituality, and accessibility at the same time Finding balance between work, partnership, family, and rest Favorite shows, hobbies, and Firefighter behaviors There's a lot of warmth here, some laughter, a little potty talk, and plenty of insight. Links: IFS Institute Jeanne Catanzaro Dick Schwartz Word of the Year on Substack Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

We all feel numb sometimes. Our numbing parts protect us from stress, pain, and overwhelm. But what happens when numbness lingers? As we kick off The One Inside's seventh season, Jeff and I share what we've learned about working with numbing parts. We led a workshop at the recent 2025 IFS Annual Conference called Why Check In When You Can Check Out: A Self-Led Approach to Numbing Parts. In this episode we walk you through the highlights of our workshop and share a few of the insights we brought home from the conference. We discuss: What I discovered about numbness, embodiment, and grief this past year Numb parts are "invisible protectors" and why simply naming the numb matters The compounding opportunity costs of numbing and what we miss when we spend too much time checked out The grief of emerging from numbness How numbness shows up across generations and cultures The NUMB framework we created for reconnecting with Self I keep returning to this slide from our deck: Our protectors think they're saving our lives, but sometimes they're quietly stealing our vitality. I share a lot about my numb season, and how naming the "nothing" became a game-changer. I hope as you listen you'll notice your own ways of checking in and checking out and name the places where numbness shows up for you. Episode Sponsors This week's episode is sponsored by:  Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com Pause With Laura:  Restore Your Self Retreat for IFS Therapists & Practitioners at Kripalu, October 19-22, 2025. Download FREE IFS Resources from Laura (PDF & guided meditations). Join our Pause with Laura community for monthly Parts Reflections and deals on upcoming offerings. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do. Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews. Find merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS coach who helps practitioners create with confidence and clarity. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.