118. He Wasn’t Special…He Was Just Fine (And He Wanted You)

Many women say they want an emotionally available man. But what happens when you finally meet one?In this video, I talk about something that doesn’t get discussed enough: how toxic or emotionally unavailable relationships can condition you to respond to healthy love in unhealthy ways.I share my personal experience of learning how to communicate, unlearn survival tactics, and grow inside a relationship with a genuinely good man. Because sometimes the hardest part of healthy love isn’t finding it — it’s learning how to receive it.In this video we talk about:• Why healthy men can feel unfamiliar after toxic relationships• The survival tactics women develop in emotionally unsafe relationships• Passive aggression, testing, and threatening to leave• How emotionally healthy men respond differently• What it looks like to heal inside a relationship• How to recognize when you’re growing instead of sabotagingYou don’t have to be fully healed to deserve healthy love.But you do have to be willing to grow once you’re in it.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

He knew your worth.He just didn’t think you’d leave.In this episode, we’re talking about why men take good women for granted — and what actually makes a man realize he fumbled you. Spoiler: it’s not begging, over-explaining, or proving your value.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)If you’ve ever felt like he didn’t see how good you were… this conversation is going to shift your perspective.We break down:• Why men recognize your value but still mishandle you• The connection between low self-worth and taking a woman for granted• How over-availability quietly removes urgency• Why speaking up and upholding boundaries changes everything• How to make him feel the loss without revenge or games• The power of having a life outside of him• Why access — not your worth — is the real issueThis isn’t about “making him act right.”It’s about not betraying yourself.It’s about understanding that sometimes the only way a man learns your value… is when he no longer has access to you.If you’re in the process of detaching, setting standards, or walking away from someone who underestimated you — this episode is for you.

He wasn’t even that special… he was just fine. And he wanted you.In this video, we’re talking about why we fall for emotionally unavailable men, why love bombing works on self-aware women, and the truth about validation, attention, and our inner teen.Sometimes it’s not a soul tie.Sometimes it’s not destiny.Sometimes it’s just the first time a man we actually find attractive chooses us — and we build it into something it never was.We’re unpacking: • Love bombing and why it feels so intense • The difference between chemistry and validation • Why emotionally unavailable men feel exciting • The “inner teen” no one talks about • How to stop confusing being chosen with being valuedIf you’ve ever chased a man who was “fine” but inconsistent… this one is for you.You’re not crazy. You’re not weak.You just finally felt chosen.Healing Sundays ONLY on my YouTube channel can be found here:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwGugZ7M2WXmeERAHpePYJzNimNl_3ZLH&si=0D3RBNDvIyA1rBbs✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

You gotta make him feel stupid for trying you—and the way you do that isn’t revenge, yelling, or explaining. It’s walking away for good.In this video, we talk about why continuing to engage with a man who already showed you who he is only feeds his ego—and leaves you feeling drained, embarrassed, and stuck. If you’ve ever found yourself missing him, wanting to text him, or struggling not to fold even though you know it’s over, this conversation is for you.I break down: • Why men expect you to come back • How continuing to engage gives him power over you • The psychology behind silence and emotional discipline • Why walking away hurts his ego more than chasing ever will • How to stop reaching out, even when it hurts • What actually happens when you leave him alone and level upThis isn’t about playing games.It’s about self-respect.It’s about discipline over desire.And it’s about choosing yourself—even when it’s uncomfortable.If you’re ready to stop stroking his ego, stop betraying yourself, and finally move on with your life, this video will help you shift your mindset and take your power back.💬 Let me know in the comments—what was the hardest part about leaving him alone?💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

If a man doesn’t have a healthy obsession with you, the relationship will slowly make you anxious, insecure, and self-doubting.Women are constantly told they’re “clingy,” “too emotional,” or “asking for too much”—when in reality, they’re responding to emotional inconsistency and lack of presence.In this video, I break down:• What “healthy obsession” actually means (and what it doesn’t)• Why women feel anxious in emotionally unavailable relationships• Why some men push back hard against emotional closeness• The difference between control and emotional investment• Why the right man makes you feel settled—not confusedThis isn’t about toxicity.It’s about emotional responsibility.If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink, stay quiet, or lower your expectations to keep a man—this conversation is for you.✨ Share this with a woman who’s been told she’s “too much.”✨ Subscribe for honest conversations about love, attachment, and emotional safety.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

Why do some men say they want marriage—but never seem able to sustain it?In this video, I talk about why liking your partner matters more than people admit, and why some men will never be marriage material—not because they don’t want love, but because they don’t truly appreciate women as people.Inspired by a conversation about long-term marriage, this discussion breaks down unrealistic expectations placed on women, the idea that a woman should “be his peace,” and why conflict, inconvenience, and tension are not signs of a failing relationship—but part of real intimacy.As a married woman, I share what I’ve learned about staying power, emotional maturity, and why love alone isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. If you’ve ever questioned why a man avoids commitment, resents boundaries, or shuts down when relationships require growth—this conversation is for you.This video is for women who want clarity, not confusion—and for anyone trying to understand what actually makes a relationship last.Read the thread:The thread:https://www.threads.com/@ivebeenthatgirltoo/post/DTv0dx7EcTL?xmt=AQF0dirXWeKzynFER01acwx_hmXcU1I5Yx9ZMuXJHktBt0oyJ2LZA7pO4mjqoVblsUuamBQ&slof=1✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

There comes a point in a woman’s dating life where nothing about a man matters if he doesn’t treat her right.Not his looks.Not his money.Not his charm.Not his potential.In this episode, we talk about why so many women are conditioned to be impressed by the wrong things—and what shifts when you finally heal enough to make treatment the standard.This conversation is for women who are tired of confusing inconsistency with chemistry, intensity with intimacy, and attention with love. We break down how trauma and attachment shape attraction, why emotionally unavailable men stop feeling exciting, and how peace becomes the new flex.If you’ve ever wondered why you used to tolerate less—or why dating feels different now—you’re not alone. Healing doesn’t make you harder to impress. It makes you clearer.🎙 In this episode, we cover: • Why women are taught to be impressed by potential instead of behavior • How trauma rewires attraction and keeps women chasing unavailable men • What changes when self-worth becomes non-negotiable • Why some men feel threatened when you raise your standards • How to shift from chasing emotional highs to choosing emotional safety✨ When you get to the point where being treated right is the only thing that impresses you—you stop settling, explaining, and shrinking.If this resonates, like, subscribe, and share with a woman who’s outgrowing what no longer serves her.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, you’ve probably been told that it must mean you are emotionally unavailable too.But what if that explanation doesn’t tell the full story?In this video, I break down the psychology behind why emotionally available women can still find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable partners—and why this pattern often has less to do with a lack of vulnerability and more to do with learned beliefs about love, safety, and worthiness.I share my personal experience of chasing emotionally unavailable men, then struggling in a healthy relationship—not because I didn’t want love, but because I had never been taught how to ask for what I needed or trust emotional safety.We talk about: • Why emotionally unavailable men pull more emotion out of you • The belief that love has to be earned (and where it comes from) • Why healthy love can feel scarier than emotional unavailability • How childhood and relationship trauma shape attachment patterns • Why “knowing better” doesn’t always mean you know how to do better • How to begin breaking this cycle and learning to receive love safelyIf you’ve ever felt like you could beg the wrong person to love you but struggled to speak up in a healthy relationship, this video is for you.You are not broken.You are not incapable of love.You may just be unlearning what love was never supposed to cost you.✨ If this resonates, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

“Lovergirl, I know you want love real bad… but please don’t settle for half-love.”This video is for the women who love deeply, who feel everything, and who keep trying to make it work with men who can’t meet them. If you’re a lovergirl who gives your whole heart, this message is going to hit home.I talk about why longing can trick you into staying, how self-abandonment sneaks in disguised as “patience,” why emotionally unavailable men can’t love you in the ways you need, and how to finally stop settling for half-effort, half-connection, and half-love.You deserve someone who meets you fully.With clarity.With consistency.With devotion.Your heart is too intentional for bare-minimum love — and in this video, I walk you through the mindset shift that finally sets you free.If you’re healing, growing, or learning your worth again… this one is for you.✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)

If you keep losing yourself the moment you like someone… this video will change your dating life.Today we’re talking about how to decenter men while dating and in a relationship — so you can stop worrying about whether he likes you and start focusing on whether he’s aligned with you.In this video, we cover:✨ What it really means to “center a man”✨ Why women lose themselves when they catch feelings✨ How conditioning, trauma, and scarcity mindsets impact dating✨ How to stay grounded, confident, and self-led✨ How to maintain your routines, boundaries, and identity✨ How to date without anxiety, overthinking, or performing✨ How to keep decentering men inside a relationship✨ The mindset shifts that help you stop chasing male validation✨ What healthy attraction feels like vs. anxious attachment✨ How to evaluate men instead of auditioning for themThis isn’t about being cold or detached — it’s about being whole.Decentering men is not anti-men. It’s pro-you.If you want to build a meaningful life and healthy relationships, this video is your guide.—————✨ Let’s connect:💜1:1 coaching &BONUS podcast episodes https://www.patreon.com/Ivebeenthatgirl💜books, coaching and more:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.netAuthors page: https://www.amazon.com/author/kindalld💜MY SOCIALS:YouTube: https://youtube.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?si=ztPs0PVePJP-q6VrI’ve Been That Girl, too Instagram: (151K followers) https://www.instagram.com/ivebeenthatgirltoo/TikTok: (42.7K Followers) https://www.tiktok.com/@ivebeenthatgirl?_t=8s8vdJSMVZv&_r=1Threads: (35K followers) https://www.threads.net/@ivebeenthatgirltoo?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==Business Inquiries:https://linktr.ee/ivebeenthatgirl.net(Click the envelope icon at the top of the site)