Rethinking Cultural Norms: Individual Choice in Jewish Life

  Check back in next week for a brand new episode of The Franciska Show To book Franciska for your BAT MITZVA - email [email protected]     Enjoy this pilot episode of "Getting Free" a new podcast hosted by the International Beit Din with Rabbanit Leah Sarna (a former guest on the Franciska Show). https://gettingfree.podbean.com Imagine finally escaping a marriage after years of abuse. But there’s one last step- you need your abuser’s permission to get a divorce. That’s the reality for the Jewish women in Getting Free, and countless others around the world. Their husbands use a religious tradition to trap them in marriages that should have ended a long time ago.  But it doesn't have to be this way.  To learn more about this issue, and to help put an end to it, please join the International Beit Din at our conference “Redefining Freedom” on May 21st with the Gruss Program at the NYU School of Law. To learn more and register go to https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/campaign-to-end-iggun/   

How to handle Diets on Shabbos? Why are eating disorders so common in the Orthodox community? Jill Sharfman NC (Nutrition Consultant), is the co-host of the nutrition podcast “Let My People Eat.” On each episode she helps to demystify confusing talk about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle while keeping kosher. She is a board-certified holistic nutritionist living with her family in Los Angeles. The podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and at https://letmypeopleeat.com Follow her on Instagram @jill_sharfman for more information and on Facebook @letmypeopleeatpodcast. www.jewishcoffeehouse.com

In this episode of The Franciska Show, host Franciska discusses the complexities and behind-the-scenes efforts involved in helping women, known as agunot, who are unable to obtain a religious divorce (get) from their husbands. The episode features interviews with Jennifer Lankin, Interim CEO at ORA (Organization for the Resolution of Agunot), and Ezra Stone, a private investigator who specializes in tracking down recalcitrant husbands who refuse to grant their wives a get. Jennifer shares her journey into this work and explains ORA's community-focused approach to addressing get refusal. Ezra offers insights from his fieldwork, describing some of the challenges and strategies involved in locating and pressuring these husbands to comply with religious and legal obligations. The episode encapsulates the importance of community response, the use of private investigators in protracted cases, and the critical role that social culture and public pressure play in resolving these deeply rooted issues.   00:00 Introduction and Announcements 01:50 Special Guests: Ezra Stone and Jennifer Lankin 02:12 Jennifer Lincoln's Journey and Insights 03:54 Ezra Stone: The Private Investigator 05:57 The Role of Private Investigators in Get Refusal Cases 10:19 Challenges in Tracking Down Recalcitrant Spouses 11:36 Case Study: The Search for Naftali Shabani 22:24 Unexpected Encounters and Travel Stories 22:56 Investigative Techniques and Challenges 23:08 The Case of the Recalcitrant Brother 26:59 Legal and Ethical Considerations 27:56 Creative PI Strategies 29:02 The Big Daddy of Get Refusers 36:56 Social Media and Influencers 39:38 Security Issues in the Jewish Community 44:16 Closing Remarks and Reflections   www.instagram.com/oraagunot   About our Guests: Ezra Stone is a licensed private investigator in both the USA and Israel, who specializes in sensitive cases within the Orthodox Jewish community. As a member of the community himself, he brings a deep understanding of its nuances, customs, and unspoken boundaries—insight that’s critical when handling discreet investigations such as locating missing individuals, resolving Agunah cases, or uncovering hidden truths. Unlike many investigators who stand out in these insular environments, he blends in naturally, earning trust while gathering the facts. With a reputation for integrity, persistence, and cultural sensitivity, he takes on cases others can’t touch. To get in touch: [email protected] https://www.instagram.com/protexia1 Protexia1.com       Jennifer Lifshutz Lankin is the Interim CEO of ORA: The Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, a nonprofit dedicated to eliminating abuse from the Jewish divorce process. ORA provides advocacy and support for agunot worldwide while also working to prevent get-abuse through education and awareness initiatives. Jennifer has been with ORA for nine years, shaping its programs, advocacy, and leadership. She holds a B.A. from Yeshiva University and a Master’s degree from Hebrew University in Jerusalem. She currently lives in Jerusalem with her family.   Contact Franciska @ [email protected] www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com  

In this episode, we continue the conversation from last week with a new perspective on the issue of dating and relationships within a community. Our guest shares her personal experience of dating someone who later disclosed being gay, discussing the emotional impact and the broader community implications. The conversation explores the difficulties faced by individuals who want to lead a committed lifestyle while dealing with same-sex attractions, the challenges in communication and transparency in dating, and the need for greater support and discussion within the community. The host also touches on the upcoming release of a new song and highlights the importance of providing visibility to underrepresented experiences.     00:00 Introduction and Recap 01:58 Guest Introduction and Listener Interaction 02:43 Discussing Last Week's Episode 03:18 Personal Experience and Reflections 09:18 Impact and Emotional Aftermath 15:07 Community and Mentorship 23:32 Exploring Solutions and Final Thoughts 26:03 Conclusion and Farewell     www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com [email protected]

In this episode, the guest shares their experience growing up in a religious Jewish community, facing questions about their sexual orientation, and grappling with their faith. They describe their upbringing, moments of self-realization, and the challenges of reconciling their identity with community expectations. The guest discusses pivotal moments in high school, relationships with women, and the struggle to remain within the confines of their religious beliefs. They emphasize that attraction lies on a spectrum and not everything is black and white. Highlighting the ups and downs of their journey, including being fired from a meaningful job due to personal revelations, the guest underscores the importance of choice and staying true to one's faith while seeking acceptance and understanding. The conversation concludes with reflections on the complexities of maintaining privacy and trust in relationships and the hope for a future partner who understands and respects their journey.  

This Episode is sponsored by Jump Into Shape www.jumpintoshape.fun   About Our Guest: Adina Edelman is a book editor for Jewish publishers and self-publishing authors. She has worked on over 120 books of various genres and recently published her debut novel, Breaking Open. Adina has led multiple writing workshops and editing webinars, all with the goal of helping writers mine their message for gold. She is passionate about producing high-quality, relatable fiction for Jewish readers and is already working on her next book. She lives in Baltimore, MD. https://www.linkedin.com/in/adinaedelman/ https://israelbookshoppublications.com/products/breaking-open edelmanedits.com www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com  [email protected]

This Episode is sponsored by Jump Into Shape www.jumpintoshape.fun This episode features a deep and honest conversation inspired by the format of Joe Rogan's podcasts and focuses on the complexities of religious traditions and societal pressures within the Jewish community. The guest, who remains anonymous, discusses a variety of topics including the flaws in the education and religious guidance system, the influence of materialism, and the pressure to conform. Additionally, there is a debate over the merit and challenges of the 'Kollel' life, the culture of early marriages, and the reality of taking responsibility for one's path in life. The episode also touches upon the impacts of keeping up with community standards and proposes the need for updated, more individualized approaches to maintain traditions while adapting to modern challenges.   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 01:38 Sponsor Message: Jump Into Shape 02:46 Guest Introduction and Initial Banter 03:41 Guest's Background and Upbringing 04:36 Questioning the System 16:06 Materialism and Its Impact 24:31 Marriage and Life Experience 33:18 The Dynamics of Marriage and Socioeconomic Status 35:02 The Role of Seminaries in Marriage Preparation 35:59 Challenges of Late Parenthood in Western Culture 37:16 Preparing for Marriage: A Case-by-Case Approach 39:22 The Realities of Kollel Life 46:15 Materialism and Mitzvahification in Judaism 48:23 The Cost of Jewish Education and Keeping Up with the Joneses 51:38 Balancing Tradition and Modernity in Celebrations 58:57 Final Thoughts and Reflections     www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com [email protected]

Book Franciska for your event: [email protected]   Navigating Jewish Divorce: In this episode of The Franciska Show, Franciska recaps a recent concert and discusses upcoming events. The main segment features Sarna, sharing insights on Jewish divorce and the Agunah crisis. Sarna details her upbringing in the Orthodox community, her work with the homeless in New Haven, and her academic journey at Yale. She explains the historical context of the Agunah crisis, the role of Batei Din, and her organization's innovative approaches to resolving Jewish divorces. They also discuss coercive control in abusive relationships and the importance of choosing the right Batei Din for divorce proceedings. Sarna emphasizes the need for community support for women in abusive marriages and outlines scenarios where her organization can intervene to prevent get extortion and facilitate fair divorces.   00:00 Introduction and Concert Recap  00:59 Guest Introduction: Sarna's Background 03:19 Discussing Jewish Divorce and Agona Crisis 06:36 Ideal Divorce Process and Challenges 10:09 Choosing the Right Bait Din 16:18 International Perspectives and Collaboration 18:40 Identifying and Addressing Get Extortion  22:39 Choosing the Right Beit Din 22:50 Halacha and Gender Dynamics in Divorce 23:59 Historical Context of the Agunah Crisis 26:56 Coercive Control in Marriages 30:56 Financial Implications of Divorce  32:52 Challenges in Leaving Abusive Relationships 35:45 Strategies for Securing a Get 38:03 Supporting Friends in Troubled Marriages 39:53 Community's Role Post-Get 41:08 Final Thoughts and Reflections   About Our Guest:   Rabbanit Leah Sarna is the Director of Public Education and Media for the International Beit Din and the Spiritual Leader of Kehillat Sha’arei Orah in Lower Merion, PA. An award-winning Jewish educator, she has taught Torah in Orthodox and Jewish communal settings around the world, and she particularly loves empowering women of all ages to feel ownership over the most complex areas of the Torah library. Her written works can be found in The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Lehrhaus and the Jewish Review of Books, and she is currently writing a book of Torah and Halacha relating to pregnancy, birth and the beginning of life. Leah has extensive advanced higher Jewish education and holds a BA in Philosophy & Psychology from Yale University.   [email protected]     Gett First: https://bethdin.org/the-proper-timing-of-a-get/#:~:text=The%20Beth%20Din%20of%20America,at%20the%20earliest%20possible%20point.   Equitable Division of Assets: https://bethdin.org/equitable-distribution-and-the-enforceability-of-choice-of-law-clauses-in-beit-din/  (they don't name who exactly they are writing this against)  and the attached on how equitable distribution of assets works in Israel.    IBD Links -  internationalbeitdin.org Get Help: https://www.internationalbeitdin.org/get-help/  IBD mailing list: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/n12Pgpa  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/internationalbeitdin/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100071877830319   www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com

Tickets for Unity Concert in Monsey (March 2nd): https://www.tickettailor.com/events/thepowerofyourstory/1560379?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYgEkUb9O3nlnD67gNQFZgHDtoh1mJfIIWMzaHGs9JOsMc7iW60ccOQaC0_aem_ww_6TYeR66qgCL5ChBA5tw     In this emotional episode of the Franciska Show, Francisca dedicates the beginning moments to acknowledge the horrifying news from Israel involving the Bibas children and Shiri, expressing heartfelt condolences to the affected families. She announces her performance at the upcoming Unity Concert in Monsey, aiming to uplift spirits through music during such dark times. The main segment features an interview with Miriam Haber, who shares the tragic tale of her son Zechariah Haber's death. Miriam, originally American, recounts her family's journey to Israel, Zechariah's illustrious life as a brilliant scientist and devout scholar, and the devastating impact of his death on January 16th during his military service. They discuss the personal and national grief intertwined with Zechariah's loss, his heroism, and how the family is coping and striving to honor his legacy through various initiatives. The episode dives deep into the raw emotions and challenges faced by bereaved families, highlighting the profound and ongoing impact of such a loss.     00:00 Introduction and Recent Events 01:00 Upcoming Performance Announcement 01:46 Interview with Miriam Haber Begins 03:02 Miriam's Background and Family 04:31 Story of Zechariah 14:06 Zechariah's Heroism and Final Days 26:07 Coping with Loss and Family Support 30:22 Coping with Grief as a Family 33:08 The Constant Presence of Loss 37:20 Finding Comfort in Small Things 39:14 Honoring Zechariah's Legacy 44:14 Personal Grief vs. National Grief 45:45 Struggles with Faith and Community 50:15 The Impact of Zechariah's Life 56:02 Processing National Tragedies 01:02:09 Concluding Thoughts and Gratitude

The Impact of Toxic Messaging and Pop Culture on Modern Relationships   The episode features guest Anna Sherman discussing the widespread issue of toxic messaging in pop culture, spurred by reactions to events like the Grammys and behaviors of public figures such as Kanye West and Bianca. Anna and the host critique the 'naked trend' and its implications for women's portrayal in media, contrasting it with men's treatment. They delve into how these messages influence societal norms, especially affecting dating culture and perceptions among both men and women. Additionally, the conversation touches on the challenges faced by Jewish singles and the broader implications of these societal issues within the Orthodox community.     00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome 00:32 Disturbing Grammy Moments 01:05 Toxic Messaging in Media 03:16 The Naked Trend Debate 04:16 Impact on Therapy and Society 06:01 Gender Double Standards 12:57 Dating Apps and Modern Relationships 18:01 Orthodox Community Perspectives 21:01 Concluding Thoughts and Anecdotes   About Our Guest: I'm Anna Sherman – Registered Psychotherapist, Maternal Mental Health Practitioner, and Clinical Supervisor. I work with individuals, couples, and families, as well as supervise qualifying therapists in their training. I help you heal and overcome trauma, fears, and emotional blocks in your life and relationships by building skills and tools to help you help yourselves! I hold a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and I am specially trained in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), The Gottman Method, Maternal Mental Health, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Mindfulness Meditation, and Psychodynamic Therapy. By utilizing multiple therapeutic modalities, I am able to help you overcome any obstacles during our time together. I believe in the mind-body connection and I am passionate about self-help and wellness, taking a holistic approach with my clients to help heal all areas of their lives. https://www.annashermanrp.com/   www.JewishCoffeeHouse.com