Blowing Smoke

Happy belated 4/20! We’re celebrating as we always do: by getting high and answering listener-submitted hypothetical questions about sex, dating, and masturbating.   The Last Prisoner Project | Time Travel | Tim Travers and the Time Traveler’s Paradox (2024) | Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025) | About Time (2013) | Groundhog Day (1993) | Palm Springs (2020) | Time Travel Sex Ethics | Meet Cute (2022) | A Christmas Carol | A World Without Anal | “I Wanna Breed That Person” | Forced Non-Binarization | Sentient Sex Toys | Post-Orgasm Truth Serum Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we’re discussing metamours, i.e. our partners’ partners – partly because Kate’s recently been on some dates with one of hers!   Defining ‘Metamour’ | Kitchen Table vs. Garden Party | Comparison | Disclosure | Privacy vs. Secrecy | Growth & Risk | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | What to Share | Advice from Partners | Metamour-Like Relationships | Different Facets of Oneself | Meeting a Metamour Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, Billy interviews Calvin Hauer, a sex-positive therapist based in Minneapolis, about being out as queer/kinky and how that can affect the therapy process for both clients and practitioners.   Ethics of Self-Disclosure | In Community with Clients | Being Out as Kinky | Erotic Transference & Counter-Transference | Unequal By Design | Kink-Aware vs. Kink-Experienced | The Leather Couch | Kink Origins | Pathologizing Kink | Authenticity | Fisting | Clients Disclosing Kinks | The PLISSIT Model | Hiring & Firing Therapists Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We’re busting more sex toy myths this week, including the infamous medical origin story of the vibrator, orgasm guarantees, and a dearth of toys for dicks!   Vibrator Invention Myth | Hysteria (2011) | The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel Maines | Buzz by Hallie Lieberman | No Toys for Dicks? | Only for Single People | Orgasm Guarantees | Different Toys | “Anything’s a Dildo If You’re Brave Enough” | Funkit Toys NoFrilldos Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

There are countless myths and misconceptions about sex toys, and this week we try to set the record straight on a few of them!   Vibrator Numbness | Vibe as Scapegoat | Rendered Obsolete | Shere Hite Book | The Hite Report | Bigger = Better? | Vibrations on the Nose | Stretched Out | Toy Cleaner Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Is large penetration a goal worth aspiring to? This week we discuss our evolving feelings on fisting and other forms of XXL penetration!   Current Feelings | Can Anyone Be Fisted? | Journey vs. Destination | Fist vs. Fingers | Njoy Eleven | Vixen Gambler | Hand Weakness/Pain | Emotional Effects | Guts Rearranged | Penis Size | Unicorn Collaborators Hand Harness | Fist-Shaped Dildos | Vixen Randy | Epiphora’s Randy Diary | Sliquid Silk | J-Lube Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

There are always interesting new fetishes to discover! This week we’re discussing some unusual kinks we’ve heard about lately, from latex-sheathed blowjobs to cringe masturbation to being “friendzoned.”   “Chasing” Someone Unavailable | Hands | Condom’ed Blowjobs | Skyn Condoms | Flavored Lubes by Sliquid, Wicked, & LubeLife | Being Friendzoned | Cajoling a Boyfriend Into Sex | Denial Kink | Cringe | “Unattractive People” | Webbing Between Fingers | Fisting & Hand Pics Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Giving advice can get tricky when you’re polyamorous (or just prone to messy romantic drama), so this week we’re offering more advice on giving advice! No Sex on a Date | Will Not Advise | Criticism vs. Praise | Parenting Advice | Authority & Influence | Advising a Partner | Too Much Bias | Mad at a Metamour | People Who Don’t Take Advice | Sex & Kink Coaching Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We love giving advice, so this week we’re advising you on advising – how and when to give helpful advice, the best ways to ask for it, and the common mistakes we’ve made in these areas.   Different Dataset | Context | Solicited | Vulnerability | Commands | Asking Questions | Mental State | Pointing Out Patterns | Asking for Advice | Phrasing the Ask | Emotional Validation | Empathy or Strategy? | How to Take Advice Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This week we celebrated by answering listener questions about love and romance. Crying on V-Day | Romance vs. Friendship | Curiosity & Merging | Codependency | “One True Love” | Dean Spade Essay | “Be Mine” | Polyamorous Valentine’s | Social Media | “The One That Got Away” Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.