How To Disappear Completely

Arg, me mateys. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two classic Constant Christmas episodes, remade in higher quality, and available ad-free for Patreon subscribers. That could be you! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Down through the chimney, click click click, it's three bonus stories from the Patreon secret feed! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. Even more so: our stuff. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All your base are belong to U.S. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let your imagination go wild. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I can virtually guarantee that you've never heard this story before. As no one has, for at least the last century. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

(And Eventually Be Found) Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

More stories! More mea culpas! More NAPOLEON! This one's got it all. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're hatching a plan to demolish The Great Wall of China... again! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices