103. Finding the "Living Up to Your Potential" Concept Troubling

In this episode, let's discuss what to do when everyone wants your time, so you struggle to find time to dig into the strategic, big-picture work that you know is important. We talk about: Some of my more standard advice—like shutting your door for a focus block or going dark on Slack  What to try if those tactics aren't working for you Why it might make sense to “take a day off” (or 1/2 or 3/4 day off) ... and then not actually take it off & use it for strategic work. If you’re in a leadership role and feel like you're constantly putting out fires but never getting to that higher-level strategic thinking, I really hope this helps. This episode is designed to help you protect time for that work—so your time use actually matches the leadership role you're in. Links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

Ever say yes to something—like a board role, a volunteer opportunity, or a work project—only to find yourself totally overrun with email, meetings, travel, and curveballs that just keep on coming? Today, I’m talking about how something called the “Diderot Effect” can help us understand time management challenges like this. Originally coined in the consumerism space, the Diderot Effect refers to the domino effect that can happen when one new purchase leads to another and another—like a new dressing gown triggering a living room makeover or a new iPhone triggering all the accessories. When it comes to time, we do something similar. We say yes to one thing—and suddenly find ourselves buried in the cascade of responsibilities that come with it. In short, it’s the Diderot Effect of time management. And in this episode, I share how you can use this idea to: More realistically estimate the true time cost of a new commitment Say yes with eyes wide open—and with more informed consent Own your decision (and ride the curveballs more steadily) And as a corollary, reduce the curveballs in your life   Plus, I touch on the distinction between maker and manager roles, why I think a lot of this comes back to workload, and a great place to start if your days are full of firefighting. It’s a short episode—but I think it packs a punch. Resources mentioned: Listen to Episode 23 for more on the maker vs. manager distinction Thanks for being here! Links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

In this episode, I’m talking with Heather Hubbard, a former Big Law partner who now leads transformational retreats to help women hear and reconnect with themselves. Heather works with women who’ve done all the “right” things—built successful careers, checked all the personal boxes—and yet still feel unfulfilled or surprised by how they’re feeling. If that resonates with you, I think you’re going to really enjoy this conversation. Heather shares how a two-week unplugged vacation to Tanzania changed everything for her and why unplugging is so critical to hearing your own voice. We also dig into why many of us don’t realize how disconnected we’ve become from our real wants, how childhood versions of ourselves can serve as clues to the joy we’re missing, and why being bored can actually lead to good things. You’ll also hear us talk about: Why people-pleasing and fear are often what actually hold us back from doing what we want Why saying yes to something always means saying no to something else (and how to be more intentional about it) What comes up for high-achieving women when they finally create quiet and space for clarity—and how powerful that can be We also walk through what Heather’s retreats actually look like—from the luxury setting to the no-phones-allowed policy to the types of transformations people experience (and they’re not always what people expect when they walk in the door). Even if attending a retreat isn’t on your radar right now, Heather shares bite-sized strategies you can start using today to begin reconnecting with yourself, including how to hear yourself again even in the midst of a busy, noisy life. Resources mentioned: Heather’s retreat info and free assessment: https://www.heatherjoyhubbard.com/brightmethod  Heather’s podcast: Hustle & Flow Heather on Instagram: @heatherjoyhubbard Other links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

Today’s episode is a little different. I’ve been turning over the idea of “living up to your potential” for years, and I’m finally putting words to why it bothers me so much. If that phrase has ever driven your decision-making—or weighed on you in a way you couldn’t quite articulate—I think it's worth examining and challenging it. I’m not saying you shouldn’t want more or chase goals. But I believe this phrase often leads us away from what we actually want – to choices that are disconnected from our happiness and real desires. And ironically, it can even block us from having the real impact we might be seeking in the first place. In this episode, I share: Why the phrase “fulfilling your potential” feels made up  How it shows up in conversations and decision-making, especially among ambitious women Why this framing often leads us to dismiss our own happiness, joy, and satisfaction A story about how, if I’d used “potential” as a decision-making guide, I might never have left law—and never started the business I love (and arguably is me "fulfilling my potential" "more," if that makes sense) A powerful quote from a podcast that hit me hard: “I guess I’d rather be special than happy” Why none of this is about shaming ambition—but about grounding our goals in what we want The danger of measuring life through a blurry concept that doesn’t actually have a finish line A reminder that we can want what we want—and that can be enough If you’ve internalized the "fulfilling your potential" message, I hope this episode helps you question the story behind that phrase. What if there is no fixed “potential” you have to live up to? You get to want what you want—and build your life around that. Let me know what you think.   Mentioned links: The post about the Atlantic quote: “I guess I’d rather be special than happy” My earlier post about ego and decision-making Other links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

Let’s talk about sleep. If you’ve listened to this podcast for a while, you know I’m pretty obsessed with sleep. I talked about it during my Year of Ease episode (ep. 9) and in the health episode (ep. 82) about how to realistically make time for your health—and I shared how, in my totally inexpert opinion, if you don’t know where to start, I’d start with sleep because of the ripple effect it has on everything else. But here’s the thing: while I care a lot about sleep, I’m not an expert in it. That’s why I’m so thrilled to bring you this conversation with someone who is: Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown. Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown is a triple board-certified sleep physician and the founder of Restful Sleep MD. She is also the best-selling author of Beyond Tired—A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good. She helps individuals prioritize sleep, achieve optimal health, thrive, and live to their fullest potential. As a busy physician and mom of two, she understands the impact of sleep deprivation on our mental, physical, and emotional health. She has made it her mission to help others make sleep a priority. She also works with organizations and businesses to improve their health by incorporating healthy sleep into their wellness journey. She is a consultant and a speaker on regional, national, and international platforms. She has also published several peer-reviewed manuscripts on various sleep disorders. She obtained her sleep medicine training at the University of Pennsylvania.  In this episode, we talk about: Why sleep is so important and what can happen when we don't get enough of it The ripple effects of both sleep deprivation and solid sleep—on your mood, productivity, memory, immune system, mental health, decision-making, and long-term health how to improve both the quantity and quality of your sleep, especially when life is busy A helpful CREATE acronym Dr. Funke walks us through to realistically improve sleep hygiene For women with ADHD, some additional practical strategies that might help Tips for shift workers and anyone whose job schedule makes sleep harder to protect How to start realistically making small changes to protect your sleep even in full seasons of life This episode is packed with helpful, actionable information. Whether you’re just curious about what better sleep could feel like—or you’re in the thick of a sleep-deprived season and looking for any traction you can get—I hope this helps. I'm so excited to share Dr. Funke with you as she’s such a generous, practical resource in this space. To learn more about Dr. Funke, her practice, her book, or her YouTube channel, see these links: Website: https://www.restfulsleepmd.com/ Beyond Tired Book: https://a.co/d/2aSRSQt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/restfulsleepmd/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drfunkebrown/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/funke.afolabibrown/ Other links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

Meal planning and meal prep come up again and again as one of the top time management challenges professional working women face on the personal side of life—and it makes sense. Between picking recipes, building grocery lists, shopping, and then actually making the meals, it’s a lot—and it happens every single week. In this episode, I’m joined by Allison Schaaf, a registered dietitian, trained chef, and the founder of Prep Dish, a meal planning service designed to reduce the time and mental load that come with feeding yourself and your family. If you’ve ever wished for an option that hits the middle ground between a full meal kit delivery and figuring it all out on your own, this might be it. In this conversation, we dig into: why meal planning is such a universal time management pain point, especially for working parents how to simplify and systematize it so it’s not something you reinvent every week practical strategies for tackling both meal planning and prep in realistic ways (especially if cooking isn’t your thing) different ways to involve your kids so they’re more likely to actually eat the food you make the behind-the-scenes of Prep Dish and how it helps people reduce the invisible workload that comes with meals—without going all the way to fully outsourced kits how to use your calendar to support and protect your meal planning time and how Allison built this company after working as a personal chef and seeing what worked in real life Whether you love cooking and just want to lighten the lift—or you're trying to get through dinner without a meltdown (yours or someone else’s)—this conversation offers great ideas and an option you may not have known existed. Allison also shares a generous free trial of Prep Dish just for Bright Method listeners. To grab it, go to prepdish.com/bright. Links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

In this 100th episode of the Bright Method podcast, I’m sharing something I haven’t said enough: I believe you can do this. Yes, time management is hard. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. In fact, the reason it feels hard is usually because your life got more complicated—and the system you were using just can’t keep up. But even though it's hard, you CAN do this. Today, let's talk about: Why I don’t believe time management is a quick fix  The kind of women I’ve worked with across 350+ Bright Method clients—and why that matters for you The only profession I’ve seen where Bright Method is a tricky fit (and what that tells us about calendar control) What’s often really going on when people say, “I don’t have control over my calendar” Why I believe women with ADHD and women who love paper can absolutely use the Bright Method How we mold the system to fit you—not the other way around Why being smart—and you are—means you can learn this skill, even if it feels overwhelming at first What one big law associate shared about implementing the Bright Method… 3 years after taking the program Plus, I share a behind-the-scenes look at my own experience: I’m not some mythical Pinterest-perfect person. I lose my keys. I leave food sitting on my desk. I had to learn this stuff just like everyone else—and I still use it every single day because it works. If you’ve ever thought, “This sounds good, but I'm not sure I could do it,” I hope this episode gives you a different perspective. If you want to try out the Bright Method for free, check out my 5-day video series at kellynolan.com/refresh. And truly: thanks for being here for 100 episodes. I’m so glad you’re here. Links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

Today, we’re talking about career transitions and job searches—and I’m excited to bring on a guest to help us with it: career coach Julia Lynch. Inside the Bright Method, women gain clarity around where their time is going. And once some see it all laid out in front of them, they realize that it’s not just a "them" issue, it’s that their industry or employer just isn't the right fit for the life they want. That clarity often kicks off the desire to make a job move. To help with that process, I brought on Julia Lynch. Julia is a personal brand strategist and career coach who helps high-powered women make bold career moves by networking smartly and packaging their experience in a way that opens new doors. She's also the woman behind the Instagram handle @smarterinasec and Substack Varsity Reader. In this episode, we cover: The first step you need to take before you even start networking. Why it’s your job to create the story about who you are and what you bring to the table—so others can take that story and market you to others. Why you should start networking before you need a job. How some senior-level jobs are shifting into more "fractional" roles—and what that means. What a career coach like Julia really does and how to think about whether working with one makes sense for you. What to ask if you’re thinking about hiring a career coach. We also talk about the reality that if you've been heads-down in one industry for a decade or more, it’s hard to know what else is out there—and how working with someone who knows the landscape can help you move faster and smarter. Whether you’re already thinking about a move or just want to be ready in case you want to make one down the road, I think you’ll find this conversation helpful. Julia's website is linked here, and you can set up a free discovery call with her here.  You can also find Julia on Instagram at @smarterinasec and on her Substack, Varsity Reader—she’s a great follow for both smart career advice and fun recs. Thanks for being here—and here’s to making career moves that better align with the life you want. Additional links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

In this episode of the Bright Method Podcast, I dig into something I wish I’d fully appreciated earlier in my career: your boss likely has no idea what’s actually on your plate. That’s true whether you work for multiple people or just one—and it matters when it comes to managing your workload in a realistic and less overwhelming way. We’ll cover: Why you shouldn’t assume the work being assigned to you is reasonable or doable What it looks like to truly take ownership of your workload—and why it’s empowering Why understanding your own capacity is the first step in managing your workload Why this empowers you to propose solutions you want and protect the kind of work you enjoy What to do when your boss won’t adjust your workload—and how that clarity can still serve you Why boundaries “work” even when they don’t go the way you want them to I also talk through how a visual, calendar-based system helped me go from feeling constantly underwater to confidently managing what I could take on—and even turning down work in a clear, strategic way. Plus, I share a client story about how this clarity led to a more reasonable workload and enjoyable work that made a bigger impact. If you’d like a free way to get started with this system, check out my 5-day Reset & Refresh series at kellynolan.com/refresh. You can also DM me the word “refresh” on Instagram to get the link. Links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.

In this episode of the Bright Method Podcast, I’m joined by professional life coach Michelle Gauthier to explore a topic that deeply affects how we spend our time—people pleasing. If you’ve ever said yes when you wanted to say no, or agreed to something before even thinking it through, this episode is for you. We break down: What people pleasing really is (hint: it’s not just being nice) How to recognize it, even when it’s subtle The emotional and physical cues that signal it’s happening Why so many high-achieving women fall into this trap Practical strategies to pause before saying yes and evaluate requests with intention Michelle’s “Love & Fit” test to help you assess whether a request is aligned with the life you want Specific phrases to use when you want to say no with kindness and confidence Tips for handling pushback when you do say no How to gamify the process and even calendar your “nos” so you can see how much time you’re reclaiming Michelle and I share examples from our personal and professional lives, including the awkward conversations we’ve had to navigate and the mental load that comes with trying to control how others perceive us. If you’ve ever resented someone for asking you to do something—because you felt like you “had” to say yes—this episode will help you step back, get curious, and reclaim your time. Michelle Gauthier is the host of the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast and helps high-achieving women create calmer, more intentional lives through private coaching and group programs. She brings warmth, humor, and a down-to-earth approach to this powerful and all-too-relatable conversation. Whether you’re looking to set stronger boundaries at work, say no to another PTA role, or just want to stop defaulting to yes, you’ll walk away from this episode with tools you can actually use—starting today. Learn more about Michelle at www.michellegauthier.com, and listen to her podcast, Overwhelmed Working Woman, wherever you get your podcasts. Additional links you might enjoy: 🌿 Free 5-Day Time Management Program Get five short, practical video lessons packed with realistic strategies to help you manage your personal and professional life with more clarity and calm. 📱 Follow me on Instagram Get bite-sized, real-life time management tips for working women—like reminders to set mail holds before travel, anonymous day-in-the-life calendars from other professional women, and behind-the-scenes looks at how I manage my own time. ✨ The full Bright Method™️ program If you're ready for a full time management system that's realistic, sustainable, and dare I say… fun, check out the Bright Method program. It's helped hundreds of professional women take back control of their time—and their peace of mind.