Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens

What if the reason we can't say no isn't a willpower problem—but a nervous system problem? In Part 2 of this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian and her friend Jalon Johnson go deeper into what actually happens inside our body when we try to set a boundary. This isn't theory—it's two people sharing what it felt like to rehearse conversations for days, to brace for rejection, and to genuinely believe the world might end if they said no to family. From the realization that we've been having hour-long arguments with people entirely in our heads, to the moment the sun still came up after saying "I'm not coming," this episode gets honest about why boundaries feel like pulling the pin on a grenade—and what changes when we finally let it go. In this episode you'll hear more about: The conversations we have that never actually happen: Dr. Aimie's revelation that she would spend hours—sometimes days—rehearsing both sides of a conversation with someone, anticipating their response, forming rebuttals, all before saying a single word out loud. The exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to manage someone else's reaction before it even exists. Why "no" feels like a threat to survival: Jalon's insight that if you've never been comfortable saying no, your nervous system treats it like danger. The activation, the bracing, the preparing for impact—it's not dramatic, it's protective. And it makes sense when we understand what we learned in childhood. "No with a period is a complete sentence": The reframe Jalon's first therapist gave him that he's carried ever since—and why most of us still struggle to say no without attaching explanations, justifications, and apologies to soften the blow we're sure is coming. The world didn't end—and that changed everything: Dr. Aimie's experience of finally setting the boundary, bracing for disaster, and then... nothing. The sun came up. The family moved on. And she was able to show up as the person she actually wanted to be instead of the drained, resentful version running on empty. Self-care feels frightening when you've never done it: Why taking care of ourselves can feel more threatening than burning out, and how building tolerance to rest—just like building tolerance to anything new—takes practice, not perfection. Asking "why" until you get the real answer: The technique both Dr. Aimie and Jalon use to get beneath the surface reason—asking why five, six, seven times until the truth finally shows up. Dr. Aimie's application of this to her emotional eating patterns and what she discovered underneath the hunger. Setting a boundary isn't about having the perfect words or the right explanation. It's about recognizing that the discomfort we feel isn't proof we're doing something wrong—it's proof we're doing something new. Our nervous system learned that saying no was dangerous. It will take time to teach it otherwise. And in the meantime, we can hold both: the part that's terrified and the part that knows we need this. 🎧 This is Part 2 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. If you missed Part 1, it's linked below—we talked about the exhausting reality of showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and they haven't. Part 3 goes deeper into the hustle: why we push ourselves to prove our worth and what happens when our body finally says "enough." 🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens with Dr. Lorne Brown 💭 Where in our life are we still rehearsing conversations that haven't happened yet? What would it feel like to just say no—and let them have their reaction? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.

Chinese medicine may help explain why stored trauma causes old patterns to resurface when we least expect it. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Lorne Brown, a leader in integrative reproductive health and Chinese medicine who brings 25 years of clinical experience to the conversation.  Get the full episode breakdown at Biology of Trauma® Podcast- Episode 151: Why Healed Trauma Returns in Perimenopause: Chinese Medicine Lens In this episode you'll learn: [00:02:00] The Body's Layered Storage System: How Chinese medicine understands stored trauma as a three-layer defense mechanism designed to protect our vital organs [00:05:30] Why Around Age 40, Everything Changes: The body stops using resources to suppress stored energy and begins asking us to finally process it [00:08:00] Perimenopause as a Tipping Point: Why hormone fluctuations shrink our window of tolerance and reveal what we've been holding [00:11:32] The Second Spring: Chinese medicine's perspective on menopause as a spiritual awakening where resources redirect to the heart center [00:13:24] Qi Stagnation & Functional Freeze: The connection between stuck energy and chronic patterns of protection in the nervous system [00:17:00] The Radio Metaphor: How emotions are meant to move through us like a song, and what happens when we hit repeat [00:21:14] When Healed Trauma Returns: Why perimenopause can bring back symptoms and emotions we thought we'd resolved [00:28:40] Safety as the Foundation: Why Chinese medicine agrees that creating safety is the essential first step for allowing stagnation to move [00:34:44] Sound, Laser & Frequency Medicine: Tools that bypass the mind and work directly with the cells and nervous system [00:43:07] Notice, Accept, Choose Again: Dr. Brown's NAC process for metabolizing uncomfortable feelings and restoring flow

Many high-achieving people look successful on the outside while part of them remains frozen in childhood survival patterns. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, I share how trauma disrupts the natural flow and movement of life—and the healing roadmap that takes us from stuck to truly alive. If we've ever wondered why we can reach every external goal and still feel disconnected from our own life, this episode explains why. I share Elena's story, a 45-year-old Chief Operating Officer whose autoimmune diagnosis revealed what her body had been holding for decades. When her thirteen-year-old daughter had thoughts of suicide—and felt she couldn't talk to her mom—Elena finally understood: a part of her had been frozen since before she could walk. We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as professional success masking emotional unavailability. We'll see how trauma stops our natural movement through life—and discover the six-step roadmap from survival to authenticity, belonging, and flow. In this episode you'll learn: [00:00] Why successful people can still be frozen in survival patterns from childhood [02:15] How Elena's birth trauma created a freeze response before she could walk [06:40] The moment her daughter's crisis revealed decades of emotional unavailability [09:10] Trauma defined: the biggest disruptor of movement in our life [12:45] Why everything inside us is movement—and what happens when trauma stops it [16:05] The healing destination: authenticity, belonging, and flow as what it means to be alive [19:50] Why state shifts matter more than neuroplasticity on your healing journey [24:05] How neuroplasticity wires in whatever state you're in—including overwhelm [26:30] The six-step roadmap: from "I am alive" to connection with others [28:15] How Elena broke the generational cycle with her daughters Main Takeaways: Trauma Is the Biggest Disruptor of Movement: Trauma isn't just an event—it's the shock that stops us. It disrupts movement at every level: physical, emotional, relational, and through our life stages. Successful and Frozen Can Coexist: High achievement doesn't mean our nervous system is regulated. Elena built an impressive career while part of her remained that terrified little girl, hiding and staying still to survive. State Shifts Come Before Neuroplasticity: Whatever state we're in is what neuroplasticity wires in. If we're frequently in stress and overwhelm, our brain builds pathways that make that pattern automatic. We must shift our state first. The Destination Is Authenticity, Belonging, and Flow: These three elements define what it means to be truly alive—free to be ourselves, grounded in connection, and moving with ease through life. You Can't Skip the Sequence: The roadmap follows a specific order: recognizing we're alive, choosing to live, shifting our state, being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and finally connecting with others. Each step prepares us for the next. Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: When Elena addressed her frozen patterns, her daughters noticed changes they never expected. The "resting bitch face" disappeared. Presence replaced absence. Notable Quotes: "Trauma becomes the biggest disruptor of movement in our life." "I can still see myself as a little girl, hiding with my dolls, quiet, still and absolutely terrified." "Whatever state we are in is what neuroplasticity wires in." "Being in calm alive can actually become a habit. Imagine that." "Your body's decision to freeze wasn't a failure—it was survival. But you don't have to stay frozen." "My 12-year-old girl didn't realize that I had grown up and that I am alive—which means that she did it. She made it. We're alive." Episode Takeaway: Frozen doesn't mean broken. Elena's story reveals what happens when trauma stops our natural movement through life—not just physical movement, but emotional presence, relational connection, and our ability to truly arrive in the life we've built. Her freeze response began at birth, reinforced through childhood, and showed up decades later as professional success masking emotional unavailability. Her daughters felt it. Her body felt it. Her autoimmune diagnosis confirmed it. The healing roadmap offers a way forward. First, we help that frozen part recognize we're alive—that survival happened. Then we consciously choose to live, rather than simply existing because we had no choice. We learn to shift our state into calm and aliveness, practicing until it becomes our new default. And finally, we move through the deeper work: being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and opening to genuine connection with others. Neuroplasticity works for or against us depending on our state. If overwhelm has become our habit, our brain has built pathways that take us there automatically. But when we build the habit of calm aliveness first, neuroplasticity starts working in our favor. The destination isn't perfection—it's authenticity, belonging, and flow. Movement is possible. Coming home to ourselves is possible. Resources/Guides: The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional. Related Episodes: Episode 9: What is One Thing the Freeze Response Needs for Healing? (Part 2) with Dr. Arielle Schwartz Episode 87: Stress & Freeze Response: How to Achieve & Sustain High Performance with Olympian Louise Tjernqvist Episode 142: Why Stress Isn't Trauma: How to Spot Overwhelm and Start Healing Your Nervous System with Dr. Aimie Apigian   Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing.

What if the hardest part of our healing journey isn't the inner work—but showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and our family hasn't? In this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian sits down with her friend Jalon Johnson to talk about something most healing resources won't touch: the exhausting reality of being around family when we're no longer willing to play the role they expect. This isn't a polished teaching episode—it's two people figuring out in real time how to navigate people-pleasing, unspoken guilt, and the mental gymnastics of anticipating everyone's reactions while trying to stay true to who we've become. From recognizing the coping mechanisms we didn't know were coping mechanisms, to the practical strategy of getting our own hotel room, this episode gets honest about what it really takes to walk the "healthy lonely road" when our family is still stuck in old patterns. In this episode you'll hear more about: The tradition trap and choosing ourselves: Why challenging family traditions makes us the "bad guy" even when those traditions are unhealthy, and how stepping outside the role we're "supposed to play" makes us a threat to people who haven't chosen us—they've just chosen the role The coping mechanisms we didn't recognize: Dr. Aimie's realization that she would start craving numbing foods a full week before family events, recognizing now that overeating specific foods was her way of avoiding the uncomfortable feelings of misalignment and unspoken expectations Titrating our presence—the hotel room strategy: Dr. Aimie's practical approach to family—not disappearing completely, but also not showing up in ways that leave us angry, resentful, and needing weeks to recover. Finding "what is enough" by getting her own hotel to reset her energy and maintain who she is without sabotaging the healing she's done "I'm not going, and I don't owe an explanation": Jalon's boundary of simply not attending when his body tells him rest is needed, recognizing it only has to make sense to him—and the powerful reframe: "I don't want the next gathering of the family to be everybody at my funeral" Boundaries expose, they don't create: Understanding that healthy boundaries will expose the conflict that was already underlying—the dysfunction was always there, we're just no longer pretending it isn't Our healing will change our relationships. That's not a warning, it's a guarantee. The question isn't whether our family will be uncomfortable with the new us—they will be. The question is: what boundaries will we set so we can stay true to ourselves without completely disconnecting from the people we love? This episode doesn't give us easy answers because there aren't any. But it gives us permission to get our own hotel room, to say "I'm not coming," and to recognize that choosing ourselves isn't selfish when the alternative is betraying everything we've worked so hard to heal. 🎧 This is Part 1 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. Part 2 will tackle why saying no feels like pulling the pin out of a grenade and what might actually happen when we set that boundary. Subscribe so you don't miss it. 🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Episode 149: Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté 💭 What's the boundary we've been afraid to set because we're worried about what others will say? Sit with that question this week. And if you need the reminder: it only has to make sense to us. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.

Why does groundbreaking research on mind-body medicine disappear without a trace? How do emotional factors create conditions for chronic illness and autoimmune disease decades later? What happens when a Harvard study shows severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk—and the medical system simply ignores it? Dr. Gabor Maté joins me to discuss the writing process behind The Myth of Normal, his 19-week New York Times bestseller bringing together decades of research on trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and how emotional factors drive physical disease. We explore why mind-body unity—understood since Socrates 2,600 years ago—remains controversial in mainstream medicine despite overwhelming scientific evidence. Gabor addresses the most damaging misconception about his work: that he blames parents and patients. Whether we're trauma-informed practitioners, healing from chronic illness, or parents navigating guilt and shame, we'll understand why this conversation about mind-body medicine is finally reaching people—even when the medical system isn't ready.   In this episode you'll learn: [01:59] The Myth of Normal Journey: How 10 years of research and 20,000 articles became a 500-page synthesis of trauma biology [04:00] Writing for Critics Made Me Sick: Why trying to convince skeptics creates the very trauma biology we're studying [06:00] Harvard's 1939 Buried Truth: Soma Weiss's lecture on emotional factors equaling physical factors—and why it's still ignored [07:42] PTSD Doubles Ovarian Cancer Risk: Harvard study the average gynecologist never read—and what it means for trauma healing [09:40] People Are Ready, Systems Aren't: Why this trauma revolution is happening at the grassroots level first [13:53] New York Times Bestseller Doesn't Equal Happiness: The personal lesson about achievement and inner state [16:00] The Biggest Misconception: Addressing the damaging claim that Gabor blames parents and patients for illness [18:00] ADHD, Genes, and Environment: Why genetic sensitivity plus stressed parents creates attention dysregulation—without blame   Main Takeaways: Mind-Body Unity Isn't New Science: Socrates recognized 2,600 years ago that separating mind from body was medicine's fundamental error, and Harvard professor Soma Weiss lectured in 1939 that emotional factors equal physical factors in disease causation and healing. This isn't cutting-edge discovery—it's forgotten wisdom the medical system repeatedly buries. Scientific Evidence Disappears in the Bermuda Triangle: Hundreds of peer-reviewed studies demonstrate trauma's biological impact on chronic illness, autoimmune disease, and cancer risk, yet research doesn't change medicine when ideology creates blind spots. A Harvard study showed severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, but the average gynecologist never reads it. Empowerment, Not Blame, Changes Lives: Understanding that stress affects multiple sclerosis relapse risk or that the environment acts on ADHD genes doesn't blame patients or parents—it empowers them. Knowledge of how trauma creates conditions for illness provides agency to address root causes rather than remaining passive recipients of symptomatic care. Mitochondrial Dysfunction Extends the Mind-Body Framework: While The Myth of Normal covers mind-body unity comprehensively, Biology of Trauma® goes deeper to subcellular levels—showing how trauma affects mitochondria, cellular energy production, and the biology underneath symptoms.   Notable Quotes: "Socrates said 2,600 years ago in ancient Greece that the problem with the doctors today is they separate the mind from the body." "Emotional factors are at least as important in the causation of disease as physiological factors, and must be at least as important in the healing." (From the 1939 Harvard lecture) "You can have the same genes and have ADHD or not have ADHD. What makes the difference is how the environment acts on those genes." "Trauma is so ubiquitous in this culture and it's so poorly understood and addressed in the healing profession." "The change will happen at the level of people, not at the system. The people will demand the system change."   Episode Takeaway: What struck me most in this conversation with Gabor is how the desperate need to convince skeptical colleagues stems from our earliest attachment patterns where authority figures' opinions determined our safety. This is why writing to prove ourselves to critics creates the very nervous system dysregulation our trauma work addresses. Mind-body unity isn't revolutionary new science—it's 2,600 years of wisdom that mainstream medicine repeatedly buries. When Harvard published research in 1939 showing emotional factors equal physical factors in disease, and recent studies demonstrate severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, the medical system's silence isn't about lack of evidence but about ideological blind spots. The revolution happening now shows people are ready for this conversation even when systems aren't. As chronic illness increases, people seek understanding of how stored trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional factors create conditions for autoimmune disease, cancer, and ADHD decades later. This isn't about blaming parents or patients—it's about empowering us with agency to address root causes. External achievement doesn't heal unresolved trauma, but the gratitude when we stop trying to convince critics and instead empower people with truth makes it worthwhile. We're catching a wave we're also generating. The system will change when people demand it.   Resources/Guides: Visit biologyoftrauma.com for more resources on the Biology of Trauma® framework The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional.  Check out Dr. Gabor Maté's book, The Myth of Normal.  Related Episodes: Episode 39: How Does Trauma Manifest in the Body with Gabor Maté Episode 66: Gabor Maté: The Biology Piece We Have Missed In Trauma & Depression (Part 1) Episode 67: Gabor Maté: Healing Trauma and Chronic Illness Through Connection (Part 2)   Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing.  

div]:bg-bg-000/50 [&_pre>div]:border-0.5 [&_pre>div]:border-border-400 [&_.ignore-pre-bg>div]:bg-transparent [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8"> _*]:min-w-0 standard-markdown"> What if your sugar cravings, need to clean, urge to call a friend, or desire to put on a movie while working aren't just procrastination—but your nervous system desperately trying to help you avoid drowning in emotions that feel too intense to face? In this mini episode, Dr. Aimie gets vulnerable about discovering a new level of chronic functional freeze in herself—sharing the exact moment she found herself staring at chocolate muffins on a grocery app, salivating, recognizing her body was scrambling to decrease the intensity of overwhelm. This episode reveals something critical about stored trauma: what looks like busyness or distraction is actually your biology's attempt to create distance when stress feels bigger than your capacity. And recognizing these patterns is the first step to having choice instead of falling into them unconsciously. In this episode you'll hear more about: The capacity equation: Why overwhelm and freeze kick in when the stress you're experiencing feels so much bigger than your current capacity—it's not a choice, it's your body going into protection mode to keep you from drowning The chocolate muffin moment: Dr. Aimie's raw account of craving chocolate muffins while on a carnivore diet, recognizing her nervous system was reaching for sugar to numb panic—and the biology of why sugar and gluten bind opiate receptors just like Vicodin to decrease emotional pain The pattern of disconnection: How chronic functional freeze shows up as avoidance of emotions through creating distance—sugar cravings first, then calling friends to focus on them instead of you, then cleaning and organizing anything to avoid sitting still with the stress Why high performers miss their freeze: How being productive and getting stuff done can mask storage trauma in your body—you look fine to everyone else while struggling internally with focus, efficiency, and feeling stuck trying to push through The distraction cascade: What happens when your nervous system can't get the chocolate muffins—it moves through the list: call a friend (focus on their needs), clean something (create busy work), put on a movie (split your attention), go to bed early (escape it all) The biology of avoidance behaviors: Understanding that reaching for distractions isn't weakness or poor discipline—it's your nervous system literally scrambling for anything that will decrease intensity so you don't feel like you're drowning in your inner emotions Why it looks healthy but isn't: How going to bed early, cleaning, and helping friends can appear like self-care and productivity when they're actually signs of freeze response—trying to run away and create distance from what feels too big From no choice to real choice: How recognizing these patterns as messages from your body creates space for different decisions—before awareness, you were falling into chocolate muffins and distractions; after awareness, you can see what your body really needs (to know you're going to be okay) The growth edge opportunity: Why being at your edge in overwhelm isn't doom and gloom—it's actually your opportunity to expand capacity so you can hold more stress without going into freeze, transforming your relationship with the freeze response entirely The patterns of pain and protection: Where to find the full framework in Chapter 9 of The Biology of Trauma, including disconnection, perfectionism, push-through philosophy, chronic fatigue, and autoimmunity as predictable patterns of stored trauma Your busyness isn't always about being busy. Sometimes it's your nervous system trying to save you from drowning. But here's the truth: when you can recognize the chocolate muffin craving, the urge to clean, the need to focus on someone else, or the desire to split your attention with a movie as messages from your body—not failures or weaknesses—you gain choice. You can ask, "What do I really need right now? What is my body trying to tell me?" That recognition is powerful. That's what transforms freeze from something that controls you into something you move through, knowing you'll be okay and that this edge is actually your growth edge. 🎧 Want the full context? This mini episode expands on concepts from Episode #148: Why You Can't Sit Still: The Hidden Biology of Busyness. Go back and listen to that full episode for the complete framework on recognizing and working with freeze responses in your body. 📖 Want to go deeper? The Biology of Trauma book, Chapter 9 (page 116) provides the complete patterns of pain and protection framework for recognizing chronic functional freeze in yourself and others. Get your copy at biologyoftrauma.com/book 🔬 Ready to recognize your patterns? Explore more Biology of Trauma episodes on understanding your nervous system's protection patterns and expanding your capacity at biologyoftrauma.com

Discover how trauma lives in the body—and how the vagus nerve, nervous system shutdown, and somatic healing explain why stillness can feel unsafe. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, Dr. Aimie shares the trauma response sequence and the Essential Sequence needed to heal stored trauma without overwhelm. If we've ever felt like we can't stop moving—like sitting still feels unsafe—this episode helps us understand why. I share Jess's story, a 45-year-old marketing director whose chronic busyness protected her from an 8-year-old's stored terror. When her 17-year-old daughter said, "Mom, we never really got to be together," Jess knew something had to change. We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as high-functioning exhaustion, emotional disconnection, and perfectionism. We'll see how trauma becomes biology—and why our body holds on until it feels safe enough to let go.   In this episode you'll learn: [00:00] Why a "good childhood" doesn't guarantee a nervous system free of trauma [02:15] How Jess's busyness, weight gain, and exhaustion were signs of stored trauma [06:40] Why stillness feels unsafe when the body equates pausing with overwhelm [09:10] Thinking vs feeling: how living in your head blocks somatic trauma healing [12:45] The real definition of trauma: overwhelm inside the body, not just events [16:05] Startle → stress → freeze → shutdown: the trauma response sequence in the nervous system [18:40] How the vagus nerve turns overwhelm into a whole-body shutdown response [21:20] Overwhelm as biology: fatigue, gut issues, emotional eating, and chronic anxiety [24:05] Why somatic work can retraumatize you if you don't feel safe first [26:30] The essential safety sequence: safety → support → growth into calm aliveness [28:15] How Jess used the Foundational Journey to break the cycle with her daughter   Main Takeaways: Trauma Happens Inside the Body: Trauma isn't defined by events—it's what happens inside of us when overwhelm outpaces our capacity to cope. Overwhelm Is Trauma Biology: When the size of the problems we face feels bigger than our resources, our nervous system shifts from stress into trauma—leading to freeze, shutdown, and hopelessness. Chronic Busyness and Perfectionism Can Be Functional Freeze: What looks like overachieving may actually be a protective response. Our body may be using busyness to avoid stored pain. The Vagus Nerve Makes Trauma Physical: It carries the signal of shutdown throughout our system—leading to fatigue, gut issues, disconnection, and a loss of aliveness. We Must Follow the Same Path Out That We Took In: Skipping straight to calm never works. True healing follows this path: Safety → Support → Expansion. Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: Jess's journey shows what becomes possible when we regulate our nervous system and choose presence over protection.   Notable Quotes: "Trauma isn't what happened to us—it's what happened inside of us". "Busyness kept me safe. It kept me from drowning in emotions I couldn't process". "We have to follow the same path that our body took." "Our body holds its truth. Our mind tells us what it wants us to hear." "Safety first, then Support, then Expansion. You cannot skip the sequence." "Our body needs safety to come out of shutdown. Until we create that, it will stay closed."   Episode Takeaway: Trauma isn't about what happened—it's about what overwhelmed our nervous system and pushed it into survival mode. Chronic busyness, perfectionism, and emotional disconnection are often signs our body is still trying to protect us. But when we follow the Essential Sequence—Safety, then Support, then Expansion—we can safely access and resolve what our body has been holding. Healing becomes possible when our body finally knows it's safe to feel, to rest, and to be present.   Resources/Guides: Take the Attachment Pain Quiz: Discover your attachment patterns and how they show up in your nervous system Attachment Trauma Healing Roadmap: Get your personalized roadmap for healing attachment wounds Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional.    Related Episodes: Episode 36: How to Integrate Somatic and Parts Work Part 1: Mind-Body Dialogue Questions with Dr. Aimie Apigian Episode 37: How to Integrate Somatic and Parts Work Part 2: Mind-Body Dialogue Questions with Dr. Aimie Apigian   Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing. Comment Etiquette: I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Please share and use your name or initials so that we can keep this space spam-free and the discussion positive😌

What if the reason you keep saying "I'm fine" isn't about denial or stubbornness—but about your nervous system being programmed to avoid looking at problems because looking feels too dangerous? In this mini episode, Dr. Aimie Apigian explores the powerful story Dr. Tom O'Bryan shared about Ray—a beloved janitor who said "I'm fine" for three years until the day he finally agreed to testing, pulled over on his way home, and died. This tragic story reveals something critical about trauma: avoidance isn't just psychological, it's a biological survival response. And it's creating a dangerous feedback loop where the very act of avoiding health problems generates more cellular damage through oxidative stress. This episode unpacks why trauma makes us afraid to look at our health, how this avoidance creates the exact biology that makes our problems worse, and most importantly—how to break free from the "I'm fine syndrome" through baby steps and biology repair. In this episode you'll hear more about: The "I'm fine syndrome": How Ray's story illustrates the deadly cost of health avoidance, and why so many people refuse testing even when symptoms are clear—it's not about money or time, it's about fear The first step of trauma: Understanding that avoidance is actually Step 1 of the body's instinctual trauma response (the startle), where blocking our threat assessment tells our body danger is real and escalates the survival response The oxidative damage cascade: Dr. Tom's powerful mousetrap analogy—976,000 mousetraps on a football field, one ping pong ball creating a cascade reaction of "pop, pop, pop"—exactly what's happening inside your cells when you avoid addressing health problems The avoidance-damage feedback loop: How saying "I'm fine" while avoiding health assessments creates more oxidative stress, which damages cells and DNA, which creates more danger signals, which makes you want to avoid even more—a vicious cycle driving disease development Why glyphosate matters for your future family: The shocking research showing 74% of men at fertility centers have glyphosate in their blood, with 300% higher levels in their semen, causing oxidative damage to sperm DNA that leads to 40% increased miscarriage rates and contributes to the autism epidemic (1 in 12 boys in California) The trauma-toxin connection: How stored trauma and toxic chemicals create the same biology—both generate oxidative stress that damages your mitochondria, immune system, and DNA, which is why trauma and toxins always go together as "sisters" or "best friends" Base hits win the ball game: Dr. Tom's strategy for men (and everyone) who feel overwhelmed—allocate one hour per week to learn about ONE health topic, make ONE change, and watch how baby steps transform your health in six months without trying to hit home runs The essential supplements for oxidative stress: What Dr. Tom takes when flying (GS packs with 22 nutrients) and what Dr. Aimie uses (vitamin C, NAC, and injectable NAD) to combat radiation exposure and cellular damage from travel and daily life The Total Tox Burden and Oxidative Stress Profile: The two tests everyone should know about to assess their cellular damage and toxic load before trying to start a family—and why being proactive prevents a lifetime of grief Why "I'm fine" is actually "I'm frozen": Understanding that health avoidance is your nervous system's way of protecting you from feeling powerless, but recognizing this pattern is the first step to building the courage to look and take action The three phases of safe detoxification: Why you must resource your body first, open drainage pathways second, and only then use active binders—jumping straight to celery juice or fasting can actually retraumatize your system The antioxidant repair toolkit: Starting with the fundamentals (vitamin C at 1,000mg, selenium at 200mcg, NAC at 2,000mg daily) plus lifestyle tools like red-light therapy, outdoor morning walks, colorful fruits and vegetables, and optimizing sleep in complete darkness The energy to leave toxic relationships: Why people can't leave toxic environments until they have the biological energy to do so—supporting the body's detoxification and energy production creates the capacity to clear out emotional toxins too 77% and 1 in 12: The devastating statistics that should wake us up—77% of military-age Americans are ineligible to serve due to obesity or cognitive decline, and 1 in 12 boys in California are diagnosed on the autism spectrum by age four, both driven by our toxic environment and the biology of trauma Your body isn't broken—it's trying to protect you from the pain of looking at what feels dangerous. But here's the truth: every moment you avoid looking at your health while saying "I'm fine," you're accumulating more oxidative damage. You're literally rusting from the inside. The good news? You don't have to take the whole mountain in one step. Baby steps—or as Dr. Tom says, base hits—win the ball game. Start with one hour a week. Start with basic antioxidant support. Start with getting curious instead of afraid. Your body has been waiting for you to look with compassion instead of fear. 🎧 Want the full context? This mini episode expands on concepts from Episode #147: The Hidden Biology of Holding On: Toxins, Trauma & True Freedom. Go back and listen to that full episode for Dr. Tom's complete framework on how oxidative stress links childhood trauma to adult disease, why glyphosate is devastating our children's brain development, and how to protect your family's genetic potential. 📖 Want to go deeper? The Biology of Trauma, Chapter 17 (page 299) provides detailed guidance on repairing oxidative stress and supporting your body's natural antioxidant defenses. Download the free guide on oxidative stress repair at biologyoftrauma.com/book 🔬 Ready to look? Learn more about the Total Tox Burden and Oxidative Stress Profile tests Dr. Tom mentioned, and explore other Biology of Trauma episodes on how to safely support your body's healing at biologyoftrauma.com

Our bodies hold onto trauma, toxins, and pain for biological reasons—not willpower. Dr. Aimie Apigian shares her bathtub breaking point and the 3-phase Biology of Trauma® framework that changed everything: how to prepare, open channels, and safely release what our nervous systems have been protecting us from. After her third collarbone break in a 2017 car accident, Dr. Aimie found herself back in depression, chronic fatigue, and developing chronic pain—despite years of therapy and functional medicine work. Crying in a bathtub, she realized her body wasn't broken; it was scared to let go. This episode reveals her discovery of the hidden connection between emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins—and why our nervous systems hold on to all three. You'll learn the exact six-step process that moves through preparation, opening drainage pathways, and active release, plus why forcing detoxification before our bodies feel safe makes symptoms worse, not better. This framework bridges somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and functional medicine for both individuals struggling with stored trauma and practitioners helping clients who feel stuck. Whether we're dealing with chronic pain, autoimmunity, insomnia, or anxiety that won't shift, or we're therapists or health professionals seeking trauma-informed approaches, this episode explains how to create a biology of letting go. Dr. Aimie shows us how to work with our bodies' protective wisdom instead of fighting against it—so we can finally experience the freedom, authenticity, and healing our nervous systems have been waiting to feel safe enough to allow. In this episode you'll learn: [03:32] Why Your Body Holds On: The relationship with the past that serves survival and the parts that aren't ready to let go [07:00] The Body Trauma Loop: Nervous system pattern of looping between stress and overwhelm that keeps you stuck holding on [12:37] Holding On to Regrets: How regret creates bracing and collapse in the body and why it's one of the hardest things to release [14:58] When Life Didn't Go as Supposed: The deep sadness of holding on to how things were meant to be instead of what is [19:21] The Biggest Myth About Letting Go: Why letting go isn't a decision you make but a biology your body needs to feel safe enough to create [20:33] Three Types of Toxins We Hold: Emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins all accumulate the same way in your body [23:32] Why Bodies Hold Biochemical Toxins: When you have a biology of holding on emotionally, you also hold mold, metals, parasites, and environmental toxins [28:00] Three Phases of Letting Go: Preparation, opening channels, and deep cleaning—why skipping preparation makes everything worse [31:52] What Happens When You Detox Wrong: Fatigue, mood issues, sleep problems, and brain fog all worsen when deep cleaning happens without open channels [34:11] The Six-Week Process: Creating safety, building support, working with breath, pacing the release, feeling emotions, and active detoxification [38:45] Opening Drainage Pathways: Why poop, pee, and sweat matter for letting go and how constipation keeps trauma stuck [41:00] Always Do Phases One and Two: Why you should always be resourced with open channels even when not actively detoxifying Main Takeaways: Letting Go is Biology, Not Decision: Your body holds on because it doesn't believe letting go is safe yet, not because you lack willpower or haven't decided to move forward with your mind Emotional and Biochemical Toxins Connect: When you hold emotional toxins from regrets and psychological toxins from limiting beliefs, your biology also holds biochemical toxins like mold, heavy metals, and parasites The Body Trauma Loop Keeps You Stuck: Nervous systems that loop between stress and overwhelm without reaching calm aliveness create a biology of holding on rather than releasing Deep Cleaning Without Preparation Retraumatizes: Doing intensive trauma work or detoxification before opening your channels and creating safety brings pain to the surface without allowing it to leave, making symptoms worse Regrets Create Bracing and Collapse: Holding on to regrets shows up as simultaneous bracing in shoulders and collapse in chest and heart, demonstrating how past pain lives in present body Dysregulation Multiplied by Time Becomes Chronic Conditions: Twenty years of nervous system dysregulation creates autoimmunity, chronic pain, and long-haul syndromes through accumulated toxin burden that body won't release Three Phases Must Follow Sequence: Preparation creates safety, opening channels allows ventilation, and deep cleaning releases what's ready—skipping steps or reversing order causes more harm than healing Always Resource and Keep Channels Open: Even when not actively detoxifying, you should always be doing phases one and two to prevent accumulation and stay ready for life's hard experiences Notable Quotes: "If it makes you sick 20 years later, that wasn't stress—that was trauma. You see childhood through adult eyes now, but that's not how you lived it." "Trauma becomes our biology. Then our biology blocks our healing, joy, and authenticity."  "The more emotional toxins we hold, the more biochemical toxins our body holds—mold, plastics, heavy metals, parasites." "Deep cleaning without release retraumatizes us. We surface the trauma but don't let it leave. It makes things worse."  "Once we recognize we're holding on, the choice becomes clear: stay small and safe, or let go safely and live freely."  Episode Takeaway: Letting go isn't about willpower—it's biology our nervous system needs to feel safe to create. When we hold emotional toxins, our body creates a biology of holding on. That same biology holds biochemical toxins: mold, heavy metals, parasites. Our bodies don't distinguish between toxic emotions and toxic chemicals. Both require the same three-phase process to release safely. Preparation creates safety so our nervous system considers letting go. Opening channels provides ventilation so what surfaces can actually leave. Deep cleaning happens last because without preparation, pain surfaces with nowhere to go. This is why intensive trauma work or aggressive detox makes fatigue, mood, and pain worse. The key insight: always do phases one and two, even when not actively detoxifying. Keep our drainage pathways open to prevent accumulation. When we're emotionally or physically constipated, toxins build up instead of moving through. Letting go becomes a way of being—creating a biology that releases rather than holds on. Resources/Guides: Visit biologyoftrauma.com for more resources on the Biology of Trauma® framework The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional.  Related Episodes: Episode 1: What Professionals Need to Know About the Chronic Freeze Response with Dr. Peter Levine Episode 57: ACEs: How the Body Holds and Hides Pain with Dr. Vincent Felitti   our host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing. Comment Etiquette: I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Please share and use your name or initials so that we can keep this space spam-free and the discussion positive😌

What if the reason connection feels so hard isn't about willpower or awareness—but about your brain literally not getting the dopamine reward that makes relationships feel joyful and worth pursuing? In this mini episode, Dr. Aimie Apigian dives into groundbreaking 2009 research that revealed something shocking: mothers with insecure attachment showed almost no dopamine response to their own babies' faces—whether smiling or crying. This isn't about not loving their children; it's about their brains not experiencing the biological reward that makes caregiving feel naturally joyful. This episode explores why attachment rupture and addiction are so deeply connected (hint: they're both about dopamine), how your attachment style literally changes your brain's reward response to connection, and most importantly—what you can do about it at the biological level. In this episode you'll hear more about: The dopamine discovery: How the 2009 brain imaging study revealed that insecurely attached mothers showed almost no dopamine response to their own babies, while securely attached mothers had robust reward center activation Why connection feels hard: Understanding that dopamine is the "meaning-making" neurotransmitter that says "this is good, do this again"—and without it, authentic connection doesn't bring the same sense of joy or motivation The attachment-addiction link: Why addictions are fundamentally about managing dopamine, and how attachment rupture creates the same dopamine dysregulation that drives addictive patterns The blunted response reality: What it actually means when a mother doesn't get the dopamine hit from her baby's face—she's fighting her own biology to find joy in caregiving, making everything feel harder than it should The ripple effect beyond parenting: How insecure attachment creates a blunted dopamine response to ALL authentic relationships, not just with children—affecting your capacity for joy in connection throughout your life The neurotransmitter soup: How dopamine interfaces with oxytocin (the bonding neurotransmitter and stress reducer), serotonin, endorphins, and GABA to create the biology of attachment Why talking isn't enough: The critical understanding that we must repair attachment at the biology level, not just through awareness—otherwise we're literally fighting against our own neurotransmitter systems Dr. Aimie's personal biology: Her vulnerable sharing about being born with undermethylation, creating naturally lower serotonin and dopamine activity from birth, making her nervous system less available for bonding The practical repair toolkit: How to support dopamine production through tyrosine (the amino acid building block for dopamine) and DL-Phenylalanine (the gentler option for sensitive systems) The cofactor support: Why B6 and magnesium are essential nutrients your body needs to actually make dopamine from these building blocks The root cause approach: How supporting undermethylation with SAM-e helped Dr. Aimie change her epigenetics and eventually get off two mood medications by addressing the biology underneath The biochemical imbalances: Why the same three biochemical imbalances show up in both stored trauma and attachment insecurities—and how to assess your own biology Your attachment style isn't just psychological—it's biological. When we understand that insecure attachment creates measurable changes in neurotransmitter responses, we can stop blaming ourselves for why connection feels so hard and start addressing the root cause. The good news? Your biology can change. 🎧 Want the full context? This mini episode is a deep dive into the research touched on in Episode #146:How Attachment Affects Us For Life: 6 Childhood Pains and How to Repair. Go back and listen to that full episode for the complete framework on how your childhood survival style shaped your attachment patterns—and how understanding this connection changes everything about your healing journey. 📖 Want to go deeper? The Biology of Trauma, Chapter 14 (page 207) provides detailed guidance on supporting neurotransmitter imbalances. Download the free guide on the three most common biochemical imbalances at biologyoftrauma.com/book