Ep. 255: How to Love Yourself Amidst Trauma, Grief, and Chronic Pain with Ruthie Lindsey (Encore)

In this special episode, I sit down with my little sister to reflect on our unforgettable trip to France. Though my self-esteem was tested, it was a journey that made me and my sister closer than ever. From the cobblestone streets of Paris to the Mediterranean breeze in Nice, we share how travel can shape your confidence, challenge your mindset, and create memories you’ll never forget. You will hear about… the sister fights we had in France (and how we repaired)our best and worst moments from the trip, including my “haircut from hell” that totally tested my self-esteemwhat I learned about my perfectionism and personal growthmy sister’s relationship with art, her supportive art teacher, and how creative expression has shaped her self-esteem and sense of identity how it feels to turn 17 and the pressure of feeling like you have to figure out who you’re supposed to beThough this podcast is usually about self-love, body image, and confidence for women, I hope you enjoy this conversation with my sister. We learned so much about each other, the beauty and complexity of family, and how embracing imperfections can lead to genuine connection. Traveling together magnified our insecurities but also opened our hearts to more empathy and understanding—both for ourselves and for each other.Remember: you don’t have to have everything perfectly planned out to be worthy of love, adventure, and self-compassion, and connection. Growth happens in the messy, unpolished moments, not just the picture-perfect ones. Your self-esteem might waver, and your confidence might crack, but you are enough exactly as you are.Mentioned In This Episode... Google map with all of our France recommendations

Let’s dive into some unconscious ways us women tend to sabotage our self-love—especially in times of collective stress, societal pressure, and emotional overwhelm. In a world that constantly demands more from women—more productivity, more perfection, more performance—it’s no wonder we struggle to stay connected to our own self-worth.If you’ve ever felt reactive, rushed, or stuck in regret, this conversation will give you the mindset shifts and grounding reminders you need to return to yourself.You will learn how to...Stay rooted in self-worth when the world feels like it’s on fireRecognize the difference between reacting and respondingFree yourself from the cycles of rushing and regrettingThis self-love podcast episode is meant to help you reflect rather than react, slow down instead of rushing, and trust yourself instead of spiraling in regret.We often think of self-love as something fluffy or indulgent, but the truth is: it’s crucial. It’s the foundation for how we show up in the world, how we treat others, and how we protect our peace. As you’ll hear in this episode, the more you cultivate self-love, the less reactive you become. The more grounded you are, the less likely you are to betray yourself in moments of stress or uncertainty.Remember: self-love isn’t a luxury—it’s the foundation of personal and collective healing.If you enjoyed this self-love podcast, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love!Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:*The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.*100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcastMentioned In This Episode…Joy Sullivan’s newsletter “Women at the Protest”Meditations for Mortals by Oliver BurkemanEp. 250 on Mary’s Cup of Tea: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman

Ruthie Lindsey joins us for a powerful and tender conversation about healing, self-compassion, and what it truly means to love yourself. As a speaker and author, Ruthie shares her journey of navigating chronic pain, deep grief, and religious trauma. Her story reminds us that even in the most painful chapters of life, there is beauty to be found—and that healing is possible when we learn to come home to ourselves.In this episode, you’ll hear:How Ruthie “came back to life” after both physical and emotional traumaThe ongoing journey of processing grief, including the loss of her father and how it shaped her healingThe challenges of living with chronic pain while still choosing to love your bodyWhat “embodied healing” means and feels likeEmbodiment practices that help you process and release traumaHow religious trauma shapes our relationship with ourselves and how to rediscover spirituality on your own termsWhat it looks like to reparent yourself and love yourself through the processThis episode is especially meaningful for women who are on a healing journey whether it’s navigating grief, mental health, faith shifts, body image struggles, or simply trying to feel more comfortable in your body. Ruthie offers a compassionate reminder that you don’t need to be “fixed” to be worthy. You just need to show up with presence, honesty, and a willingness to love yourself as you are. You are enough.Follow Ruthie on Instagram: @ruthielindsey Check out her upcoming workshops and retreats.If this episode resonates with you, screenshot and share it on social media! Tag @maryspodcast and @ruthielindsey so we can thank you for spreading the love.Mentioned in this episode:Watch the toddler video we talked about

What if a little bit of delusion might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence? As the kids these days say: “being delulu is the solulu!” Mary shares 4 mindset shifts– that some might consider “delusional”– but will do wonders for your confidence. You will learn how to... - lie to yourself in an empowering way lol - stop comparing yourself to others with one very simple mindset shift - break free from external validation and derive your confidence from within - balance self-trust with consistent, confident action-taking - release perfectionism and believe in yourself Especially for women, embracing a positive mindset is often the first rebellion against a world that profits off of our self-doubt. This isn’t about toxic positivity or lying to yourself in a way that’s avoidant. It’s about consciously choosing beliefs rooted in self-love that remind you that you are enough. Reclaim your self-esteem by choosing self-talk that inspires action and fuels your dreams, regardless of personal insecurities or cultural expectations. Remember: Confidence doesn’t always have to be logical. It just has to set you free. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! We love women empowering women! Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books: 1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 212 How To Be Honest with Yourself How Often Do People Lie? University of Wisconsin article Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey @alok on Instagram Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman Useful Not True by Derek Sivers

A personal solo episode where I (Mary) share my “small joys” i.e. little acts of self-care that have made a big difference. Each one has become a gentle anchor, a little nudge to remember who I am and what I need. And through them, I’m realizing how the act of keeping promises to myself—no matter how small—has become a declaration of self-worth.You will hear about... 6 teeny tiny self-care practices that have made a big difference in my mental healththe books I’ve been reading lately (including my unpopular opinion about The Women by Kristin Hannah)reflections on relationships and making new friendshow to cultivate a positive mindsetAt the core of this episode is the idea that keeping promises to yourself is a declaration of self-worth. Every time you follow through on taking care of yourself, you are signaling that you are WORTHY of the time, energy, money, and attention self-care demands.Tune in for a gentle invitation to remember that your life is YOURS to shape, nurture, and enjoy. A positive mindset could be just a small step away.Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcastIf you’re craving more conversations like this—about self-care, mental health, positive mindset, relationships, women's empowerment, and living in alignment with your authentic self—make sure to subscribe to this self-love podcast and leave a review. Your support helps this show reach more women and spread the gift of self-love.Mentioned In This Episode... Hilary Hahn performing J.S. Bach: Partita for Violin Solo No. 1 in B Minor, BWV 1002 - 4. Double (Presto)Ep. 243: How to Stay Hopeful, Joyful, and Soulful with Victoria Hutchins on Apple, Spotify, and YouTubeEp. 234: Finding Myself in the Unlikeliest of Places (Cuba) on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube

Let’s talk about SEX, baby! Shan Boodram, a renowned sexologist and relationship educator, joins our self-love podcast to share powerful insights on how to feel sexy and confident in a long-term relationship. We explore the nuances of body-image insecurities and relationship dynamics, as Shan delivers her no-nonsense advice on how to feel sexy.You will learn how to...navigate body-image insecurities in the bedroombring up your sexual needs, wants, desires, and concerns without killing the vibenavigate dry spells in a long-term relationshipchannel your sex appeal and feel sexy in your skinhow to handle mix matched desiresreignite the “spark” in your relationshipShan also answers some of the most common questions about sex and relationships, like:They say couples should have sex at least once a week. Is this true?Does scheduling sex kill the mood?Do men have a higher sex drive than women?If the spark is gone, does it mean the relationship is deteriorating?Whether you’re committed, married, or want to be one day, this conversation is filled with female empowerment and relationship advice that will boost your confidence. Get ready to FEEL SEXY. Remember: A healthy long-term relationship gives you the freedom to be yourself. And THAT is sexy. Shan Boodram is an AASECT certified sex educator, an American Board of Sexology certified Sexologist, with a M.S. in psychology best known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle and as the host of Lovers by Shan Podcast. She has mainstream coverage across all major media networks including: The Today Show, ABC Good Morning America, The Talk, The Real, and The View. Boodram hosted The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, Hung Up from Headspace Studios, Makeup or Breakup on Watch, Sexology with Shan Boodram on Quibi and she co-hosted Ex-Rated with Andy Cohen on Peacock. Boodram is a best-selling author of, “The Game Of Desire" (HarperCollins, '19) acclaimed by TIME, Apple, Glamour & Refinery29. She's written for Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, CBC, Playboy and InStyle. Shan is part owner of Arya - a subscription service for couples, she is also Bumble’s sex and relationship expert as well as a longstanding member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. She recently released a class on MasterClass called The Art of Sex Appeal. Currently she lives in Los Angeles with her two daughters and husband Jared Brady. In the realm of modern intimacy and relationship education, Shan Boodram is not just a leader; she is a pioneer, constantly pushing boundaries since 2009 and inspiring millions to explore, understand, and celebrate the power of intimate connections. Follow Shan on Instagram @shanboodram Learn more about Shan’s MasterClass here and her new jewelry line inspired by Kama Sutra And if you're enjoying this self-love podcast, screenshot this episode and share it on social media!Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @shanboodramMentioned In This Podcast... Taylor Tomlinson’s “Do It Like Craig” bit

What if a little bit of delusion might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence? As the kids these days say: “being delulu is the solulu!”Mary shares 4 mindset shifts– that some might consider “delusional”– but will do wonders for your confidence. You will learn how to... - lie to yourself in an empowering way lol - stop comparing yourself to others with one very simple mindset shift - break free from external validation and derive your confidence from within - balance self-trust with consistent, confident action-taking - release perfectionism and believe in yourself Especially for women, embracing a positive mindset is often the first rebellion against a world that profits off of our self-doubt. This isn’t about toxic positivity or lying to yourself in a way that’s avoidant. It’s about consciously choosing beliefs rooted in self-love that remind you that you are enough. Reclaim your self-esteem by choosing self-talk that inspires action and fuels your dreams, regardless of personal insecurities or cultural expectations. Remember: Confidence doesn’t always have to be logical. It just has to set you free. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! We love women empowering women! Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books: 1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast Mentioned In This Episode: Ep. 212 How To Be Honest with Yourself How Often Do People Lie? University of Wisconsin article Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey @alok on Instagram Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman Useful Not True by Derek Sivers

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your to‑do list? This episode is truly the best productivity advice you'll ever receive because it's built on a foundation of self-compassion. It's  Oliver Burkeman exposes why mainstream time management hacks fail and how accepting your human finitude liberates you to be meaningfully productive.You will learn how to...redefine productivity beyond endless to‑do listsditch hustle culture, but still do what matters mostapproach time management with self-acceptance and self-compassionunlock mental shifts that free you from perfectionism, anxiety, and overwhelmcare about the world’s problems without succumbing to paralyzing despairRemember: One day, you will die with an unfinished to-do list. No amount of productivity hacks will avoid that. Let this truth liberate you to focus on what truly matters and approach your workload with self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.OLIVER BURKEMAN is the acclaimed author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. His earlier works include The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and HELP! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done. For years, he penned the Guardian column “This Column Will Change Your Life,” and his writing has been featured in the Observer, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychologies magazine, and New Philosopher. A former Brooklyn resident, Oliver now lives with his wife and son in England’s North York Moors.Sign up for Oliver’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist Please get yourself copies of Four Thousand Weeks and Meditations for Mortals!!And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcastMentioned In This Episode...Productivity for Self-Lovers, Ep. 125 on Mary's Cup of Tea PodcastElizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, LoveElizabeth Gilbert's book, CommittedResonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World by Hartmut RosaNew York Times article on NoveltySlow Productivity by Cal NewportAre We Still Empathic if We Don't Take Action?

Feeling stuck in a rut? Like you've lost your spark? You’re not alone. Many women experience moments where motivation seems to slip through their fingers, leaving them questioning their worth and purpose.Using a balance of mindset shifts and practical advice, Mary will guide you to reigniting your sense of self-worth. Tune in to hear small self-love shifts will help you get your spark back.You will learn how to... - release perfectionism and stop fantasizing about an unrealistic version of perfection - build confidence that is NOT based on external validation - practice mindfulness to strengthen your self-love - lean into a spirit of self-discovery - incorporate small self-love habits into your life that can lead to significant shifts in mindsetRemember: No one can take away what’s in your mind. Your mindset is always the one thing within your control. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love!Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.This self-love podcast for women is here to help you love yourself. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcastMentioned In This Episode... The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl TikTok video with advice on how to get your spark back

If you’ve ever felt “out of control” around food—whether it’s binge eating and/ or constantly feeling guilty when you eat—this episode will help you release any residual shame you might be carrying. Mary sits down with therapist + nutritionist Ryann Nicole to unpack why binge eating recovery is less about food and more about how we relate to it.You will learn... - a mantra for releasing food guilt- why binge eating is not really about the food itself- an anti-diet approach to handling fear foods- how to recover from disordered eating if you’re living with someone else and their foods can potentially trigger youYou’ll also walk away with hope and encouragement for wherever you are in your binge eating recovery and healing journey.Ryann Nicole is a licensed therapist, certified nutritionist, and recovered binge eater. She’s known for revolutionizing how people heal their relationship with food—not with more rules or rigidity, but with simplicity, self-trust, and a massive perspective shift. Her signature mantra, “You don’t have to make it mean so much,” has become a lifeline for those learning to let go of shame, release perfectionism, and get back into living their life. Using her binge eating recovery story as the heart of her message and her clinical expertise as the backbone of her work, Ryann brings a refreshing, relatable voice to the wellness space, here to redefine what it means to live a healthy and fulfilling life.Follow Ryann on Instagram: @itsryannnicoleCheck out Ryann’s courses and programs for binge eating recovery: https://itsryannnicole.com/coachingAnd if you're enjoying this self-love podcast, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @itsryannnicoleMentioned In This Episode... The Artist’s Way by Julia CameronVideo of Ryann’s toddler walking