ADHD & the Non-ADHD Partner with Dr. Ari Tuckman

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, we delve into the complex and often misunderstood connection between Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Joined by Dr. Roberto Olivardia, a renowned Clinical Psychologist and Lecturer at Harvard Medical School, the trio embarks on a journey to unravel the intricacies of these two conditions and shed light on the challenges faced by those who experience them simultaneously.With his extensive expertise in treating ADHD, OCD, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Dr. Olivardia provides invaluable insights into the signs, symptoms, and treatments associated with OCD. He explores the common misconceptions surrounding the disorder and discusses how the casual misuse of the term "OCD" in everyday conversation can hinder patients from receiving the proper recognition and support they need.As the conversation unfolds, we navigate the intricate relationship between ADHD and OCD, examining how the symptoms of one condition can influence and exacerbate the other. They explore the potential impact of ADHD's hyperfocus on OCD symptoms and delve into the effectiveness of treating both conditions simultaneously.Join us, and Dr. Olivardia as we embark on this exploration of the ADHD-OCD connection, offering a platform for understanding, empathy, and support for those navigating the complexities of these often intertwined conditions.Links & NotesCHADD Annual International Conference on ADHD 202429th Annual OCD Conference 2024Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:52) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:48) - Introducing Dr. Roberto Olivardia (03:26) - ADHD & OCD (10:48) - What is OCD? (15:28) - Exposure (27:17) - Anxiety & OCD (44:56) - Treatment (55:54) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week on the show, we explore the topic of comorbidity with ADHD & Executive Functioning specialist, Dr. Michael Felt. As a lecturer at Yale University School of Medicine and a professor at Columbia University, Dr. Felt brings his knowledge to the discussion, focusing on the relationship between ADHD and comorbid conditions such as depression and anxiety. Dr. Felt's approach, known as Experiential Rehabilitation, has helped many individuals and organizations enhance their executive functioning, and now, listeners of The ADHD Podcast get a taste of the same.The conversation delves into the prevalence of comorbid diagnoses among individuals with ADHD. They discuss which condition is typically diagnosed first and whether the symptoms of depression and anxiety could be a result of untreated ADHD. The discussion also touches on the potential for misdiagnosis and the importance of healthcare providers considering comorbid conditions when assessing patients with ADHD.The episode also examines the impact of comorbid diagnoses on treatment protocols. They question whether the recommended treatments for depression and anxiety change when ADHD is also present and if these conditions are best treated by the same medical professional.Dr. Felt introduces listeners to his technique, Experiential Rehabilitation, and the "Cycle of Ambiguity” (ambiguity - anxiety - avoidance) and “Cycle of Clarity” (acceptance - acuity - agency - action). This science-based approach has helped numerous coaches, therapists, and individuals to reclaim control over their lives, offering hope for those struggling with ADHD and comorbid conditions.Links & NotesADHDdoctor.orgDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:21) - Introducing Dr. Michael Felt (04:54) - A Foundation in Executive Functioning (09:08) - Comorbidities (23:14) - The Cycle of Ambiguity (27:04) - The Cycle of Agency (45:40) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, Dr. Dodge Rea rejoins us to explore the concept of Positive Affect Tolerance—the upper limit of how good we allow ourselves to feel before self-sabotage kicks in. Drawing from his integrative approach blending traditional psychology with ancient wisdom, Dr. Rea illuminates how this little-known phenomenon may be impacting those with ADHD far more than we realize.The conversation delves into the complex interplay between our psychological baggage and neurological wiring. Dr. Rea shares insights on how deep-seated shame often associated with ADHD can fuel a subconscious drive to undermine our own well-being, manifesting in behaviors like perpetual overcommitment and resistance to much-needed downtime.The episode sheds light on how gently expanding our capacity for positivity may be key to breaking cycles of burnout and reclaiming control over our schedules and lives. Dr. Rea reveals practical strategies, grounded in cutting-edge research and clinical expertise, to help listeners start strengthening this crucial "tolerance muscle."Such are the invisible forces shaping our daily experience and this week we look for a path to embracing the joy and ease we truly deserve. Links & NotesDr. Dodge ReaWilliam Martin and the Gentle Path of the Tao Te ChingJerry Campbell and the Dynamic Tension Between Love and FearThe Change Paradox ArchivesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:00) - Support the Show: Become a Patron (02:21) - Introducing Dr. Dodge Rea (03:20) - Positive and Negative Affect Tolerance ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Over the last few weeks, we have been exploring different topics related to our relationships and how we interact with others. Today, we welcome Dr. Ari Tuckman for a conversation about the relationship dynamic with one ADHD partner and one non-ADHD partner.From the ADHD partner who sees their non-ADHD counterpart as a savior to the frustrated couple struggling to bridge the communication gap, Tuckman explores the full spectrum of experiences that define these relationships. He delves into the emotional challenges that both partners face, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the world of resentment, shame, fear, and burnout that can threaten even the strongest of bonds.But Tuckman's exploration is not just a catalogue of challenges; it's a beacon of hope. He teases practical strategies and insights that promise to help couples navigate this complex terrain, hinting at the transformative power of communication, understanding, and compromise.Links & NotesMore Attention, Less Deficit - Success Strategies for Adults with ADHDDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:58) - Get to know the show (01:36) - Become a Patron (02:14) - Introducing Ari Tuckman and the Miami Vice Look (03:42) - Bringing your Whole Self to a relationship (10:16) - The Curse of the Invisible Paintjob (21:08) - Relationship Entitlement (31:56) - Red Flag Language (34:44) - When do you need to find a therapist? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this special 600th episode of The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete reflect on the show's 14-year journey. What began as a podcast focused on organization has evolved into a what we hope is a valuable resource for the ADHD community. Throughout the years, the show has featured a lineup of incredible and generous guests, including renowned ADHD researchers and experts such as Ned Hallowell, Russell Barkley, and Dr. William Dodson.The podcast's success has also led to the growth of the Taking Control ADHD (TCA) team, with the addition of Melissa, Bryan, and Marian. As the show has grown, so too have Nikki and Pete, both personally and professionally. They've navigated the joys and challenges of raising families, building businesses, and adapting to a changing world.Through it all, the Taking Control Podcast has remained a constant source of support, information, and inspiration for its listeners. As they mark this momentous milestone, Nikki and Pete express their heartfelt gratitude to their listeners and the ADHD community for making the past 600 episodes possible.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:20) - What's next... a thousand? (05:08) - Origin Story (10:58) - We went through some changes (15:44) - How did we decide on the format? (32:12) - Patreon & Discord (41:28) - The Big Events ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

As we explore the intricate dance between parents, caregivers, and their children, the presence of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can profoundly influence this delicate balance. Parents with ADHD may find solace in shared struggles with their ADHD children, while facing frustration when their symptoms lead to setbacks with neurotypical children. On the other hand, parents without ADHD may struggle to understand the challenges their ADHD child faces, leading to a cycle of punishment and emotional wounds that linger into adulthood.In families with both ADHD and neurotypical children, the specter of favoritism can breed resentment and anger. The neurotypical child may feel neglected, while the child with ADHD may feel unfairly targeted. At the heart of this discord lies a breakdown in communication.Effective communication requires active listening and the recognition of non-verbal cues. Those with ADHD may struggle to articulate their needs and emotions, while those without ADHD may find it challenging to grasp the complexities of the condition. Rebuilding these bridges is no small feat, but progress is possible when all family members are committed to fostering healthier, more open dialogue.The journey towards better communication begins with introspection and asking tough questions about one's own actions, behaviors, and communication style. In times of struggle, seeking the guidance of a trained professional can provide invaluable support.Ultimately, the path to stronger family relationships lies in focusing on personal growth, communication, and understanding. By embracing empathy and compassion, families can begin to mend the invisible tightrope that binds them together.Links & NotesThe Explosive Child by Ross GreenThe ADHD Podcast Ep 358: Mindful Listening for ADHD with Rebecca ShafirThe ADHD Podcast Episodes with Tamara RosierDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (06:37) - Parents & Kids with ADHD (15:06) - The Complicated Family Dynamic (29:35) - Emergent Behavior ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this week's episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer explore the nuances of empathy for those with ADHD. Their guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, recently presented on "The Unexpected Downside of Empathy" at the 2023 International ADHD Conference. Dr. Rosier, founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, explains that while empathy is often seen as a virtue, ADHDers may experience it in a more complicated way.Dr. Rosier outlines three main types of empathy: emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. Typically, employing all three types leads to well-regulated empathy. However, she notes that ADHDers frequently operate at extremes, either overly empathetic or non-empathetic. This imbalance leaves them vulnerable to several "downsides" of empathy.First, ADHDers may experience misplaced empathy, making excuses for other's inappropriate behavior. Second, getting stuck in emotional empathy can lead to empathetic distress and fatigue from taking on too many others' burdens. Dr. Rosier hypothesizes this stems from the ADHDer's desire to avoid rejection sensitivity.Third, ADHDers may underfunction by shutting down empathetically. Fourth, they may overfunction by overcompensating for other's lack of empathy. Finally, manipulative people can exploit the ADHDer's emotional empathy to gaslight without triggering their cognitive empathy.ADHD wiring leads to a complicated relationship with empathy. Our great thanks to Dr. Rosier for sharing her insights this week!Links & NotesDr. Tamara RosierThe ADHD Center of West MichiganDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:43) - Introducing Dr. Tamara Rosier (04:42) - What is Empathy? (24:06) - Empathetic Trust (30:34) - Grief (34:28) - Underfunctioning Empathy (37:52) - Overfunctioning Empathy (39:32) - Empathy & RSD (41:32) - Finding Balance (48:10) - The Genesis of the New Book ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The popular 1944 film Gaslight brought the insidious behavior known as "gaslighting" into the public consciousness. But what exactly is gaslighting, and what does it have to do with ADHD? We explore this in today's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.Dr. Deborah Vinall, author of the book Gaslighting: A Step-By-Step Recovery Guide, describes gaslighting as a pattern of behavior where one person systematically undermines another, typically as a means of gaining control. It goes beyond an occasional contradiction to a consistent effort to erode the other's confidence in their own perception of reality.So, what does this have to do with ADHD? As it turns out, quite a lot. People with ADHD are more vulnerable to gaslighting attempts for several reasons. Their symptoms of inattention, disorganization, and impulsivity are often used by gaslighters as ammunition to undermine their confidence. Being manipulated into questioning one's own memory and perception can then exacerbate ADHD symptoms like confusion, self-doubt, and struggles with focus and recall.At the same time, some behaviors driven by ADHD, like forgetfulness, tardiness, and fidgeting, can be misconstrued by others as deliberate gaslighting rather than unintentional neurological symptoms. It's important for others to understand ADHD is not an intentional or conscious effort to manipulate.Many with ADHD have experienced the painful effects of gaslighting. They describe feeling trivialized when their real daily struggles are dismissed as "dramatic" or something "everyone deals with." They feel overgeneralized and defeated when told they "never" follow through or "always" mess up, ignoring their successes. And they feel bewildered and betrayed when facts about their lives or promises made to them are denied outright by gaslighters insisting "that never happened."The good news is there are effective ways to maintain confidence and counter gaslighting with ADHD. Seeking external validation from professionals, friends, and family who understand the condition can provide reality checks when self-doubt creeps in. Setting boundaries and directly challenging false claims are also important strategies. Ultimately, it comes down to trusting your instincts, focusing on the future, and relying on facts over emotions when it comes to combating gaslighting with ADHD.Links & NotesGaslighting: A Step-by-Step Recovery Guide to Heal from Emotional Abuse and Build Healthy Relationships by Deborah VinallDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:02) - Support the ADHD Podcast by Become a Patron: patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:43) - Gaslight Cinematic History (08:52) - Psychological Manipulation (13:16) - Blame (20:50) - Show Your Work ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Do you remember when you were young and carefree, coasting through school assignments at the last minute? Or social engagements flowing effortlessly from one to the next? As an adult with ADHD, those days may feel like a distant memory. Suddenly, responsibilities pile up, work seems endless, and relationships require much more attention. What changed?In this episode, we explore why ADHD symptoms often worsen from childhood to adulthood. Turns out, the structured school environment and malleable young brain provided a protective cocoon. Youthful resilience and novelty-seeking behaviors also naturally complemented ADHD traits.But adult life removes those scaffolds. We're faced with open-ended choices, little external accountability, and increasingly rigid thinking patterns. Stress compounds the challenges. Without school forcing new learning, our minds stagnate. Mental elasticity gives way to knee-jerk reactions. Dopamine-seeking behaviors like substance abuse or gambling frequently emerge. It's no wonder ADHD feels debilitating.The good news? We can recreate youthful advantages through scheduling routines, mindfulness practices, brain training, and lifestyle changes. Structure liberates the ADHD mind from decision fatigue. Meditation and new hobbies boost dopamine. And cognitive exercises build mental agility. By bringing back elements of childhood, we can recapture some of its ease. The path requires diligence and self-compassion. But reclaiming our younger resilience is within reach.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:00) - Support the show: Become a patron! (05:18) - Were things better back in the day? (09:06) - Performative Busyness (15:14) - The ADHD Twist ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're eager to please, but at what cost? For people with ADHD, saying yes to requests from others often means sabotaging our own priorities. Urgency provides a dopamine hit; the instructions are clear. Best of all, we aren't fully responsible for the outcome. But every time we dodge our obligations to take on extra, we chip away at our future. Before automatically agreeing to favors, pause and examine your motives. Are you truly available or just procrastinating? Will you have to sacrifice critical deadlines to accommodate? Respect your time. Invest in your goals, not just other's. Your needs matter too. Stop self-sabotage disguised as service. Prioritize a future fueled by purpose, not avoidance.We talk about some key principles this week including time shielding for protecting our time from distraction, the values calendar to help align time to our values, and margin for interruption in our schedules. Links & NotesShawn Blanc writing about MarginDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:43) - Connect with Us! (02:14) - Patreon! Join the club! patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:44) - Sabotage (18:52) - Time Shielding and the Values Calendar (29:32) - Margin ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★