Not Defined by the Worst Thing | Stephanie Laffey

有些心動，第一眼就開始！榮獲日本 Good Design 大獎的 Panasonic A La Uno 全自動洗淨馬桶，日本美學搭配有機玻璃耐垢耐污與泡沫洗淨，讓清潔輕鬆優雅。顏值機能兼備，一見傾心！ https://fstry.pse.is/9vcbtj —— 以上為 Firstory Podcast 廣告 —— When Stephanie Laffey's husband and partner of thirteen years passed away unexpectedly, grief affected every single aspect of her life. Nobody would have blamed her for sitting on her bed for a year and staring at the wall. She told herself that even if she cried every step of the way, she had to keep showing up, if nothing else for her future self.On the Soft Power Project, Sherry and Stephanie talk about what happens when grief comes in waves, not in a straight line. For her it wasn't sad, then angry, then bargaining. It was all of that in an hour, sometimes all at the same time.She leaned on the gym, running, dark humor, and a playlist that spans every genre and decade. She says that over the last year she has laughed and smiled at least once every single day. She has also cried on the dance floor, on ten-mile runs, and at the bar.From relearning to drive on a dirt bike, to learning how to cook an egg, to an 80,000-word memoir she thinks of as her final conversation with him.For her right now, soft power is claiming her power one little baby step at a time, without worrying about what the process looks like. If you are living through the worst thing that has ever happened to you, she wants you to remember you are not defined by it.0:00 - Intro1:10 - Grief that comes in waves4:17 - The gym as a survival tactic8:34 - Dark humor and a grief playlist14:04 - Letting go of what people think22:57 - Learning to drive, cook, manage money25:56 - Losing a best friend, and a memoir29:15 - Morning pages and getting it out37:59 - Not defined by the worst thingMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Morning pages, from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron: https://juliacameronlive.com/ABOUT STEPHANIE LAFFEY:Stephanie Laffey met her husband when she was seventeen and lost him unexpectedly after more than thirteen years together. Over the past year she has been rebuilding her life, from learning to drive again to getting out of credit card debt. She wrote an 80,000-word memoir over eight months and has not yet decided whether to publish it.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/introspective_af/#SoftPowerProject #Grief #LifeAfterLoss #HealingLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

Adi Maor Siso's coaching business had a team of about eight women and all kinds of programs running at the same time when she was pregnant with her third daughter. She prepared for the time away. She still needed to be there, and she couldn't.She wanted to be a mom. Just figuring out how to downscale was practically a year of struggle. She only had one assistant, and then she had to let her go too. Now it's just her.On the Soft Power Project, Sherry and Adi talk about what happens when the version of success you work so hard to build no longer feels like success. In hindsight, Adi doesn't think it was the pregnancy itself. She thinks it was more like an identity shift. She was already a different person who didn't want to do the same thing over and over, but it was like a train going really fast, and she couldn't stop it.From almost fifty women in one launch to about six spots in the next, to a podcast interview she calls terrible, to the podcast she calls a practice tool.Now she is rebuilding, and still figuring out the specific problem she wants to address. She felt so much resistance before she reached out to women over Instagram, and she found that confidence is built through action.For Adi, soft power is staying true to herself, not collapsing into survival mode, and finding a way to keep moving, even if it's slower, more quiet, or in small steps.0:00 - Intro1:11 - The coach she needed herself3:47 - Trusting her gut, defining success12:09 - Survival mode and a third pregnancy15:32 - An identity shift and self-sabotage21:34 - Rebuilding, fear, and reaching out27:36 - Performing versus being herself37:01 - Transitions, and the day she wants45:55 - Soft power and the push and pullMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Adi's podcast, in Hebrew, on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1217794124Adi's podcast, in Hebrew, on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2hJO5GghcTdkLdn2YYWKtaABOUT ADI MAOR SISO:Adi Maor Siso is a coach and mentor for women entrepreneurs, with more than twelve years of coaching behind her. She is a mom of three and a writer, and she has hosted her own podcast, in Hebrew, since 2017. She is now building for an international audience.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adi_maor_siso/Website: https://www.adimaorsiso.co.il/#SoftPowerProject #Reinvention #FemaleEntrepreneur #TransformationLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

When I started the Soft Power Project in 2025, I decided to talk about something that still brought me a bit of shame: my divorce. But over the past month and a half, I realized I still haven't fully forgiven myself for picking the wrong partner.These are the things I'm still surprised about, almost two years in. I talk about why I practice parallel parenting. I also recently realized that when I speak to you openly about my divorce and custody battle, it's all in English, and this actually isn't easy for me to do in Mandarin, my mother tongue. I used to be so proud of being able to code switch. Now that I'm 43, things are very compartmentalized, and I'm trying to figure out how to align that.Sharing my life online, I really had to let go of a lot of ego, and there's a lot of freedom in that. If there's something you haven't been comfortable talking about, it's your decision whether to share it, how much, and with whom.0:00 - Forgiving Myself for the Wrong Partner1:55 - Why I Practice Parallel Parenting3:12 - Two Languages, Two Identities4:29 - Why It Isn't Easy in Mandarin6:41 - Code-Switching and Finding Alignment7:57 - Sharing Online and Letting Go of Ego8:53 - Why I Care Less About How I Look10:49 - When It's Time to Talk About It#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #CulturalIdentity #HealingLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

I used to debate with myself about whether I needed therapy, even though I knew I did. I went in 2018 to deal with my divorce and a huge identity crisis, and again from 2023 to 2025, when I was really struggling with the custody battle. Last month I decided to go back.Knowing what I know now, I'm sharing what I wish I had known back then. For two years I scheduled my sessions on my lunch hour so I could go right back to work. You're supposed to drop the armor in a session, then you rush back and put it on again. That's kind of how I felt. I also talk about the bracelet from the very last session of my last round: a tube for the tunnel I walked through, from a really dark space into somewhere really light and bright, and a little flower for my daughter.If you've ever debated whether you need therapy, this Soft Power Project episode is your invitation to look at it as an investment, not a cost. Make sure you have some cushion around your sessions. That is your time.0:00 - Why Committing to Therapy Feels Scary2:14 - The Real Price of Therapy3:01 - An Investment, Not a Cost4:22 - Flexible Sessions vs Every Week6:29 - Therapy Tools in a Physical Room7:49 - The Bracelet From My Last Session9:21 - The Problem With Lunch-Hour Sessions13:13 - Zoom In and Zoom Out#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #MentalHealth #HealingLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

Content note: this episode talks about sexual assault.I took a week off social media last week. While that was happening, my custody case, seven years in, was ramping up, and the Cornell 7 case kicked off another Me Too moment.Of all the women I've interviewed, what I'm most interested in is the messy middle, and that's exactly where I am right now. So this is not a neat, clean episode. I talk about what I'm trying, and a story of my own that other women's sexual assault stories on Threads brought back. I've never shared it with anyone, and I'm not ready to tell all of it.If you've had some version of this experience, you don't have to wait until you're completely processed. You get to decide how much you share, when, and with whom. There's no pressure.I wanted to share what I've been going through with custody, but you don't need to have a perfect story. If you ever feel like sharing how you handle your messy middle, email me at [email protected], and we can talk about whether you're ready to share it on the Soft Power Project.0:00 - Why I Took a Week Off Content2:01 - What I Care About: The Messy Middle3:17 - My Custody Case, Seven Years In4:47 - Mindset Is My Superpower6:46 - What I'm Trying Right Now8:13 - The Cornell 7 Case and Using Our Voice11:07 - Women's Stories on Threads12:27 - The Story I've Never Shared14:36 - You Decide How Much to Share#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #MentalHealth #HealingLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

What does it mean to trust yourself before you have the proof? In high school, someone told Kate Morgan they wouldn't know what to get her, because she had everything. It looked that way, she says. What she longed for was an internal foundation.Kate is twenty now, a fashion student at FIT who quit her job to build her own brand of heels and handbags. On the Soft Power Project, Sherry and Kate talk about what happens when you build yourself alongside the thing you are building.The Soft Power Summit, where she met Sherry, was one of the first times she put herself out there as a brand founder. It was new and it was scary. She acknowledged those feelings and let them ride in the backseat.From admiring other people online without dimming her own light, to walking away from friendships that weren't serving her anymore, to slow mornings and journaling at night.She wants her brand to be something that doesn't complete you, but is already a part of you. For Kate, soft power is honoring her truth and building her dream from within. At seventeen, she had forgotten about the brand completely. The person she is now, she says, is everything she needed then.0:00 - Intro1:48 - Going after what she wants6:54 - Showing up scared as a new founder8:33 - A brand built from within10:18 - Admiring others, staying in her lane12:41 - Choosing yourself, finding your people16:30 - It looked like she had everything22:01 - Feeling her feelings, staying centered28:18 - Her 17-year-old self, and soft powerMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:The Soft Power Summit, New York, June 20, 2026, where Sherry and Kate met: https://luma.com/q8i8ubvgKate on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodebykatemorgan/ABOUT KATE MORGAN:Kate Morgan is a fashion student at FIT in New York, originally from Arizona. She quit her job to build her own brand of heels and handbags, a childhood dream she came back to.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaatefrederick/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@styledinsubstance#SoftPowerProject #SelfTrust #FemaleEntrepreneur #SelfDiscoveryLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

A year and a half ago, I set a boundary with my ex: no more direct communication, go to my lawyer. A month later he messaged me to say he'd talked to my lawyer, didn't like what she said, and had blocked her.I didn't hold that boundary. I held an empty fake peace for a year and a half. Last week I told him one last time: all communication goes to my lawyer. Has he listened? Obviously not. But that's okay. That's not my job.Communication only does 10% of the job. The rest is your action. I'm a communication trainer, and I know the irony. I kept hoping that if I could persuade him, everything would be okay. I was wrong.Today on the Soft Power Project I'm talking about setting a boundary when you know the other side won't change. Boundary setting is like strength training. With heavier weights, you're still going to feel uncomfortable.This is your invitation to set yours in one line, with no explanation. Need help confirming a boundary? Email me at [email protected]. If you need my coaching service: https://forms.gle/w4hA9zB1MNCWTfjL80:00 - Boundaries When They Won't Change2:50 - Setting a Boundary With My Ex5:27 - The Empty Fake Peace I Held8:33 - Why Written Beats Direct Communication11:11 - Holding the Line Is 90% of the Job14:07 - Heavier Weights and Asking for HelpWant to understand your own boundary? Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Leave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

Stephanie Whitley was still in the middle of domestic violence, a new mom to a three-year-old and an almost one-year-old, when a moment in her garden knocked her to her knees.It was late spring or early summer of 2022. She was watering her plants with music in her headphones when grief arrived out of nowhere, and with it a realization: the situation she was in, the choices that had led her there, and the life she could give her children instead. She describes it as a veil being lifted. She knew it would be incredibly difficult. She also knew what she had to do.Sherry and Stephanie talk about what happens after you choose to leave. Getting out was not one decision. She compares it to separating industrial strength Velcro, slowly and methodically, and she names why the time after leaving can be a dangerous one. There were moments when getting back together looked easier.From shadow work, to a therapist who pushed her back into dating, to the custody weeks alone that gave her time with herself.She is fierce about protecting her peace now. She still struggles with guilt about the life with mom and dad both at home.Her definition of soft power is a kind of alchemy: turning darkness into lightness, gently, without forcing it. Her advice for anyone going through it right now: sometimes the scariest choice is the best one.0:00 - Intro1:29 - Lost, then a moment in the garden6:26 - Why leaving is like separating Velcro15:11 - Rebuilding a relationship with herself18:53 - Dating after trauma28:39 - Dating as a single mom34:47 - Protecting her peace43:41 - Did it make her a better mom?46:40 - Soft power as alchemyMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Roddy by Djo, the song Stephanie says resonates with her moment in the garden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCfCzzCyMU4ABOUT STEPHANIE WHITLEY:Stephanie Whitley is a single mom to two young boys. She left an abusive second marriage, and she says she has since worked through most of the trauma it left her with. She is on the parent teacher organization board at her kids' school, was recently appointed to a city committee where she lives, and is going back to school.#SoftPowerProject #SingleMom #Healing #BoundariesLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramDo you want to become a more confident, clear, and self-trusting communicator?Let's talk! Fill out this form and see you soon.Would you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form.

Last year I started the Soft Power Project. I was on my way to reinventing myself, and I really thought I had nailed it. This year I realized I was judging myself for judging myself.Ever since I was little, I've had a camera in my head to judge myself and make sure I show up in a way that's acceptable. When I got divorced at 35 and my world got bigger, that conditioning got worse.This June and July, when I felt my reels weren't getting the likes I wanted, I got really depressed, and I didn't understand why. I had thought healing was black and white. Instead of completely detaching from that conditioning, I just kind of switched audiences.What I'm experiencing is kind of a messy middle, like being handed Lego pieces with no diagram. I'm still not sure who I am or where this is going. Validation is delicious, but it doesn't nourish us. So I ask myself, am I here?If you're in your own messy middle, this is your invitation to sit with a cup of coffee, taste it, and keep that moment to yourself.0:00 - The Camera in My Head3:02 - Judging Myself for Judging Myself6:01 - The Messy Middle and Validation8:43 - Glow-Ups and the Imaginary Audience#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #SelfDiscovery #ReinventionLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.fm/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramWould you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form. See you there~

Mia Vivone's measure of a relationship is not the bouquet. It is the man who drove through a parking lot in the pouring rain to help a stranded couple. It was around Valentine's Day, the couple was stalled in the middle of a five lane road, and he happened to be carrying a charging box. She filmed it, posted it, and said: this is the man that I chose.Sherry and Mia talk about what happens when the beliefs we absorbed as children start choosing our partners for us. Mia is back on the Soft Power Project after their first conversation about trauma and the nervous system, this time to say what emotional availability actually means. Not the absence of conflict. She defines it through conflict.From dating apps to princess treatment to the fifty three years it took her to go no contact with her own mother.When a couple tells her they never fight, what she hears is how much has frozen. How long ago the talking went quiet and the flirting stopped. And the women waiting to meet someone already healed are waiting for something she has not found in herself. The more she grows, the more comes for her to grow.Mia says soft power is a sacred commitment to keep the promises she makes to herself. No matter what, she will honor who she is.If nobody has ever shown you what repair sounds like, this is a good place to begin.0:00 - Intro1:10 - Same song, different partner2:38 - What the dating apps make harder11:19 - Can you do the work alone?16:10 - Emotional availability and conflict28:26 - Princess treatment and what it costs33:22 - The beliefs we inherit45:25 - Stability, not rich52:44 - Soft power in a relationshipMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Mia's first appearance, Episode 102: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVCRNJxuqvMThe UNTRIGGERED Woman Trauma Transformation System: https://miavivone.com/the-untriggered-woman-trauma-transformation-systemDr. Aaron Beck on cognitive schema: https://beckinstitute.org/about/dr-aaron-t-beck/ABOUT MIA VIVONE:Mia Vivone is a relationship and success coach for trauma survivors and the creator of The UNTRIGGERED Woman Trauma Transformation System. She raised two children mostly alone after coming out of an abusive relationship, working two and three jobs across eleven years of college. She hosts The Untriggered Woman Podcast.https://miavivone.com/https://www.instagram.com/mia_vivone/#SoftPowerProject #Relationships #EmotionalAvailability #WomenPodcastLeave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.me/user/cm5etbvm00a1i01sl6k6h99de/commentsYoutubeInstagramWould you like to share your life stories?Please fill out this form. See you there~