SD 319 - *Aztec Death Whistle* You Have Herpes

FULL VIDEO EPISODE ON PATREON The internet favorite’s homophobic, queer-baiting Turk joins Hesse and I to put his alleged ally-status to the test. Will he accrue enough points from the Gay List to gain entry into the gayborhood? Will he get the F pass? The more coveted T pass? Well… Has Hasan (or even worse your man) closed a drawer with his hip? Have they made male friends or used an elliptical? What if they’ve let a woman touch a door in public? If so, it might be time to wish them happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍👨

Hello Seekers! Hesse and I are back and taking more of your pride calls. We teach a 6'5" gay guy with a mustache how to seem like a bottom in front of his trans-masc husband's co-workers (very easy), chastise gay men who chase straight men, out 300 closeted politicians, and invent something called misogyno-blanc. Also we hear two SHOCKING testimonies from people unfortunate enough to personal run-in's with Chapelle Roan, and all I can say right now is that we must cancel her and that Winston, if you're there, I hope you made it out of the box.

On this special one on one interview Brandon and me (Jacques) discuss our recent tomfoolery when he came to new orleans and preformed for two days, I did my first stand up st opening for him and just the total shenanigans of new orleans. Throughout the episode I bring back the points system to clarify Brandon's grade. Listen right away

Hello seekers! Hesse and I are back talking about how I almost punched a woman at Des Moines pride, the brand new Herpes/Chlamydia prank going around, where to blow an Aztec Death Whistle for maximum impact and my parents having another kid because I looked so gay. Of course we also talk about Hunter Biden going to jail and how to enjoy Charli XCX's new hit album Brat when you suffer from Obstinance Defiance Disorder.

Welcome back Seekers! We're all here to discuss Pope Francis' statements on f*ggotry run amuck in Italian seminaries, which then makes Jacques hungry. So we invent some sandwiches, clock our social credit scores, rank women, and brainstorm how fat Jacques would have been in WWII. But most importantly we write an email to casting at "Pop Culture Jeopardy," and end by taking a shot at the quiz ourselves.

April and Grace join Hesse and I to crack open the lesbian list! Is it lesbian to fart? What if it makes a noise? Do you look both ways before crossing the street? Well then sister, it might be time to rescue some pit bulls. As a woman, do you fall, snore, or smoke blunts by yourself? Chances are you could be a lesbian, and we'll help you find out. Get tickets to Girl Gods live show here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/girl-god-presents-gay-aid-tickets-879720998187 intro/// Lyn Christopher - Take Me With You outro/// Laura Nyro - Sweet Blindness

Subscribe to our Patreon for the full episode! It's just Hesse and I today, I give her a rundown of my micro bully obsession, a debrief of the Amityville Micro Bully Pop Up I attended, and what the dogs Really Mean. We also discuss JoJo Siwa's continued tragic (or slay?) career, make some predictions about the Biden/Trump debate, and cover the beautiful discourse I heard among the protesters in front of Trumps trial.

Welcome back everyone! Jacques unleashes a new beef he will almost certainly lose, we celebrate Hesse for Mothers Day, discuss how we would get the Dublin/NYC portal shut down, being on deaths door, and getting hooked on Zyn. Also Jacques casts his 360 video à la Charli XCX, we uncover why gay guys travel like fugitives, and finally we shout out the two nurses who were vaporized last year at a monkeypox vaccination site in New Orleans. Please show them your support.

Today the hosts of Celebrity Book Club with Steven & Lily join me to break the seal on a brand new list, thats right–it's the Lesbian List. Is it lesbian to fart? What if it makes a noise? Do you look both ways before crossing the street? Well then sister, it might be time to rescue some pit bulls. As a woman, do you fall, snore, or smoke blunts by yourself? Chances are you could be a lesbian, and we'll help you find out. We also discuss Steven being the first gay man to bleach his hair for normal and healthy reasons, Lily leaving her strap on in her partners parents freezer, and I spill some tea on an ancient beef between me and a big suited lesbian who fucked with my family while employed as the minister of a Unitarian Church. Until next time sisters! Listen to Celebrity Book Club with Steven & Lily everywhere podcasts are found (I did an episode with them on the Bible) and buy tickets to their June 5th live show!

Happy Sunday Seekers! Today we talk about Bush era LGBTQ activism, that guy from glee identifying as culturally queer (we support him), Kristi Noem assassinating her puppy for being annoying and what happens when you antagonize ghosts and spirits. Plus we take your calls! We tell you how to impress your girlfriends religious parents, how to bust on SSRI's, and how to break up with someone who has BPD when you also have BPD. We'll be doing another call in episode soon, leave a voicemail at (332) 203-8247