Paint It Black

When I asked New Hampshire-ite Greg Gentry how he was doing, he simply put down his musket, looked in the camera and said, "live free or die!"________________________________________________________________________________________________Listen in on our conversation as we take a deep dive into that tenuous thing called identity and how searching for family impacts it. Along the way, we touch on Nietzsche, Alfred North Whitehead and taking long drives when discussions at home get a little too triggering. ________________________________________________________________________________________________Greg Gentry is a US domestic baby scoop era adoptee, born in California in 1969.  He has been in reunion with maternal family members since 2006, and in 2021 also connected with his paternal side.  Greg is a facilitator and interviewer for Fireside Adoptees, a private Facebook group founded in 2021, which is committed to additional outreach through its public Facebook page and through the Fireside Adoptees Constellation private Facebook group.  Greg is also co-host of Adoptees Connect out of Derry, New Hampshire. He enjoys connecting with others in the online and in-person adoptee communities, and has found these interactions to be richly rewarding and supportive.____________________________________________________________________________________________ This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Season 2 of Secret Son keeps rolling along and, based on last week's number, people like hearing about identity!Secrecy is so last season. But not really. It's all a jumble, as we know. ________________________________________________________________________________________________Join show patron and fellow Midwesterner Bruce Porth and I as we discuss our young selves discovering Ayn Rand, the challenge for adoptees of the edict "just be yourself" and how searching for family altered our sense of identity.How to fuse the pre and post-search self? Tune in! ________________________________________________________________________________________________Bruce Porth was born in Chicago in April of 1967 near the end of the baby scoop era and adopted at 10 days old into a family that was well-intentioned but lacked critical knowledge and insight in how to raise an adopted child. After many years of feeling lost and disoriented he started coming out of the fog in the late 90's and eventually reunited with his birth family in 1998 and maintains a relationship that continues to expand and grow. It was in 2020 when Bruce found the broader adoptee community and a deeper level of awareness and healing became available. He discovered how essential the support of the adoptee community is in moving through the stages of healing from adoption grief and loss. He is an avid student of trauma recovery and exploring creative approaches to deep healing such as expanded states work including holotropic breathwork and psychedelics. Bruce is passionate about promoting truth and transparency in adoption and raising awareness within the adoption constellation of the complex challenges that come with relinquishment. He works as an engineer in the semiconductor industry, is married with two daughters and lives in Vermont.This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

After a winter hiatus, lots of St. John's Wort and extensive retooling, Secret Son returns for Season 2. Henceforth - also with YouTube video! ________________________________________________________________________________________________Join Ruth Monnig and I as we discuss growing up in the same Midwesterner town, searching for family and how searching altered our sense of identity._____________________________________________________________________________________________This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Anna Fienbork was adopted as an infant after five days at the hospital. The fact of being adopted was part of her life from early on. The emotional wounds of this early trauma of separation eventually lead her to doing emotional and spiritual work to face what felt like a black whole inside of her – the sense of having no roots, of somehow being utterly flawed. Her personal path has brought Anna to working with people, helping them to integrate their inner wounds, their lost inner children."Reconnect - Come home to yourself" could be described as the motto of Anna's work with people. She is also interested in exploring where we are not connected to ourselves, where doubt is quietly - or not so quietly - gnawing at us and we cannot feel that we have earned our place in the world. Reconnect means reconnecting - to yourself. This can happen in small, everyday moments and then slowly grow. It is about becoming more aware of our needs, feelings and sensations and integrating them - entering into a deep connection with ourselves, because you are the most important person in your life.Having felt the utter sense of helplessness of having been given away, Anna learned about the importance of self-empowerment. To her this is primarily about accepting ourselves as we are now, because this helps us to better perceive our own value. We can then be clearer about ourselves, know what our needs are, set better boundaries, have relationships at eye level and learn to regulate ourselves in challenging situations. And this in turn leads to a feeling of inner freedom and joy - even in difficult situations.https://www.annafienbork.de/________________________________________________________________________________________________This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Join Shane Bouel and I as we delve into searching, societal resistance to our search and piecing together our new identity. ________________________________________________________________________________________________Shane Bouel, an Australian adoptee, is a compelling voice shedding light on the intricate journey of adoption. In his thought-provoking piece Understanding the Unseen Journey of Adoptees, he explores the three half-lives of adoption, delving into the complexities faced by adoptees as they navigate identity, family, and community. Shane's work serves as a poignant call for societal understanding, empathy, and a reevaluation of adoption narratives. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

On today's episode, Patricia Knight Meyer and I talk black market babies, the power of genetic mirroring and the magic of Glen Campbell. Join us!________________________________________________________________________________________________A baby-scoop era black-market "adoptee," Patricia was sold along a curb outside a Texas hospital and grew up with no legal identity, date of birth, legal adoption, or court appointed guardian. Thus, despite one shady attorney’s best laid plans, at 18 she set out to unravel her mystery and obtain a legal birth certificate. At 40, she reunited with both biological parents, and she is currently seeking representation for her memoir, in which she shares how she uncovered the dirty deal that drove a life of deception, fueled her "adoptive" parents' life-long addictions and stole her true identity.Born with a love of writing, she earned a Journalism degree from the University of Texas, has been published in numerous newspapers and magazines, and dedicates her life to inspiring creativity in others. Active in adoption and writing communities, she blogs about her reunion experience at MyAdoptedLife.com and administers the Adoption Constellation Search and Reunion Facebook support group. She is a member of the National Association of Memoir Writers, the Adoption Knowledge Affiliates, and The Writers’ League of Texas. Bouncing between the Texas Hill Country and New Orleans, she works as a book publicist and content strategist, and attends an annual writing retreat in Costa Rica. A video of her reunion with her birth father has almost 300,000 views on YouTube.This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

 Amy Lokken and I delve into the challenges of being a transracial Minnesota adoptee, the openness of 1970s hippies and the fiery spirit of Betty Jean Lifton. Join us!______________________________________________________________________________________________Amy Lokken is a biracial, transracial adoptee, born in the Upper Midwest in the mid-sixties. She  currently lives in San Francisco. Amy is the author of two memoirs. The first, beloved i am, chronicles her life as an adoptee, growing up in various parts of the U.S.A. as her family moved several times due to her adoptive father’s job. The book takes the reader through her search and reunion with her biological mother and her mother’s three other children. Amy's second book, Finding Richard, focuses on the search for her biological father, learning and processing the devastating truth—that racism stole her entire family of origin. Both books are available on AmazonThis podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Join Emily and I as we discuss Paris, embracing the sublimity of a neurodivergent mind and fearfully admitting to others what they actually already know about us. _____________________________________________________________________________________Emily is a 40-year old domestic infant adoptee, born outside of Chicago, Illinois. Her roots are planted in Bismarck, North Dakota and other neighboring Badlands communities. Emily is an artist, writer and musician much like various members of her biological family. She is currently focused on trauma healing and substance abuse recovery, issues commonly faced among members of the adoptee community.  This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Emma Stevens and I discuss being the adoptee chameleon, secondary rejection and scanning strangers' faces wondering if they might be family. Join us!  ___________________________________________________________________________Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from first being relinquished and then becoming an adoptee who struggled with being forced to wear an impossible mask of playing the part of the “good adopted child.” Her childhood upbringing of an authoritative, cult-like family, predisposed Emma to several more struggles. One of them was falling prey to an exploitative therapist where she unknowingly entered a cultic, one-on-one relationship with her psychologist. Someone who was to help, support, and provide healing – instead, held Emma captive in a psychological nightmare. Because of these past traumas, it’s Emma’s desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to help bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals, as well as bring awareness of the exploitation that can occur by the hands of counselors, therapists, and other healthcare professionals. By sharing her experience of being exploited by her abusive psychologist/social worker, Emma feels strongly to expose and bring light to what an unethical, boundary-less, professional therapy situation may look like. This memoir is Emma Stevens’ second book. Her first was The Gathering Place: An Adoptee’s Story. She has an undergraduate degree in journalism and has completed Master’s level course work in psychology, specializing in Marriage, Family, and Child counseling. She has two adult children and two cat children who she adores. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved

Searching and finding disrupts long-standing family dynamics. Jack Dermody and I delve into how newly arrived adoptees are like bombs thrown into a family and how the knowledge gained by searching offers us an invaluable new perspective on ourselves. Letting go of what could have been, Billie Eilish and even Lawrence Welk make an appearance. Wunnerful!  ______________________________________________________________________________________Born in 1945, Jack Dermody is one of the original Baby Scoop adoptees. He is a facilitator, trainer, national public speaker and linguist with 28 years of experience in Africa, Asia, Latin America, and the U.S. working with instructors and teaching adults and college students from many walks of life. Specialty: Language Acquisition, especially English Language Learning______________________________________________________________________________________This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. _____________________________________________________________________________________________To make a one-time donation or become an ongoing patron: https://www.patreon.com/secret_son_____________________________________________________________________________________________Podcast: www.secretsonpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/secret_sonMike Personal Site: www.miketrupiano.com Voice: https://soundcloud.com/heartlandrefugee _____________________________________________________________________________________________Show Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1659085017_____________________________________________________________________________________________Produced by: Trout Sound GbR Trupiano & Staudt copyright 2024 All rights reserved