62. Easing Pain with Breathwork

In this episode of the Rise 2 Realize Podcast, we explore where your emotional suffering really comes from. Most people try to fix their lives on the outside, without seeing the inner conflict that quietly drives their mental and emotional pain. I explain how two main inner personas shape your experience: the Vulnerable Self, which carries your old wounds, insecurities and unprocessed feelings; and the Conditioned Self, which tries to hide all of that behind masks of strength, capability and perfection.  These two parts pull you in opposite directions and create a constant tug‑of‑war inside you—one of the deepest sources of stress, anxiety and feeling stuck. As you begin to recognize these personas in your daily reactions, you can slowly step out of their battle and move toward a more authentic, free and peaceful way of being.

In this episode of the Rise 2 Realize Podcast, I introduce the "Not‑Real Self" – the version of you built from fear, expectations and old survival strategies. Even if your life looks fine from the outside, this hidden self may be the reason it still doesn't feel truly fulfilling. I explain how the Not‑Real Self is formed through family expectations, cultural roles and emotional wounds, how it shows up in your daily choices, and why living only from this adapted self creates a quiet sense of emptiness. You'll also receive a simple, practical exercise to help you start recognizing your Not‑Real Self in real situations, and begin your personal transformation back to your Real Self.  Arda Ozdemir, Spiritual Mentor and Author "The Meaning of Life"

The other day I was wondering about the phenomenon of bullying and started contemplating about what bullies really want. And this quote streamed into my consciousness. "He bullied his friends to get their attention, because receiving hate filled the emptiness of love he felt." Certainly, I had my share of being bullied in my life, more than I'd like to - but I never thought about what bullies really wanted from me when they were putting me down and mocking me. Did they want my attention? Did they feel threatened by me? Did they want to engage or have an interaction? After all, maybe they, like all of us, want to feel loved, they want to feel that they matter. Join me to explore these concepts for deeper insights and understanding. 

How do you prepare yourself emotionally for a social gathering that you're anxious about? How can you stay centered and grounded against all potential family drama, especially these times over the holidays? What can you do to break free from the negative experiences that you had faced in previous years? Please join me in this episode as we explore together some practical answers to these questions. Arda

In this Episode 63 "Levels of Consciousness, Stairway to Happiness", I'd love to introduce you to the levels of consciousness and how you can use this knowledge to live a happier life?  First of all, did you know that your consciousness level is 100% correlated to how happy you are and how smoothly your life flows?  If you'd like to get to those high-flowing, you better start climbing up the stairs of consciousness.  Well, if you decide to do so, you have to rise through 3 very distinct levels of consciousness. I'm sure you know the first one. Most of us are pretty much stuck there, and suffering on a daily basis. Yup, the first level is the Sub-Consciousness. Where you don't know what you're doing, and why you're doing it? Listen on to learn the other 2 levels of consciousness, and find out what level you live most of your life on.

In this episode, I'm sharing a guided meditation to help you Ease Pain using Breathwork called, 3 by 3.  Over the last 15 years, I watched hundreds of my clients reduce the intensity of their pain and stay calm and relaxed by using this breath technique.  Some of them even felt a sense of power and control over their body. I hope you can achieve similar results.   

The death of Arda's father was not a surprise, as he had been very ill over the past 3 years, experiencing a slow decline. Nevertheless, the loss of a father or a mother, whatever the relationship, evokes feelings, emotions, and reminiscing about what was and what could have been. Join Arda on his trip to Turkiye and listen in on his thoughts on life, death, yearning, loss, and accepting the inevitable fate awaiting us all. Reflecting on these most recent experiences, Arda has returned with a renewed commitment to live life even more consciously, to its fullest potential, where harmony, bliss, and balance reign. The parting gift of those who leave this earthly realm is to find their calling, embrace their loved ones and enjoy the moments of the present.

Arda is guiding you how to quiet your mind, and calm your thoughts with a simple breathing technique, called Square Breathing.  In this technique, you'll draw an imaginative square with every movement of your breath.  Every time you inhale, you'll count to 5. Then, you'll hold your breath for 5. Next, you'll exhale slowly while counting to 5, and finally, you'll hold your breath out for a count 5 to complete the cycle. Let's do a few cycles of Square Breathing together.  

Even though an emotional reaction is neither good nor bad, at the end of the day, it is an energy drainer, leaving you feeling depleted afterward. Worse yet, these situations often lead to conflict with others, leaving you even more exhausted and drained. Negative thoughts rush into your head and occupy your mind for hours, for days—maybe even for weeks. Sometimes you can't easily shake them off or let them go, and with little energy left for anyone or anything else, you feel stuck and lost, blaming the situation and other people for your unhappiness. Upon closer look, though, these situations and people seem to repeat in your life. When the cycle of emotional reactions and depletion of your energy continues, you start to feel more stuck, lost, and confused. Join the conversation between Elizabeth and Arda to learn more about the reasons behind your emotional reactions and what to do when you find yourself in reactive state of judging others.

Our brand-new episode, no. 58, opens up with an interesting discussion about two monks, Ekido and Tanzan, having a debate about whether helping a girl to cross a muddy road is a noble thing to do or is to be avoided, because it's  against their sacred oath of "thou shall not near women!" How did Tanzan move on so quickly, without being bothered by either Ekido's judgment or his own violation of a sacred rule, while Ekido got all jumbled up in his mind and couldn't let go of what he saw? Is it because, as an older monk, Tanzan is more trained in controlling his thoughts and reactions than Ekido? Does he have more willpower? Has he done more med- itations, recited more mantras? Before we answer these questions, let's remember not to be too critical of Ekido. You and I are not that different from him. We all naturally react to people or situations that don't align with our values or belief systems. It's part of life to judge and react to others' negative attitudes, bad behaviors, annoying personalities, condescending actions, or critical words. What shall we do?  Listen to Elizabeth and Arda unpack this spiritual story and explore answers to why we judge others.