Ep 97: Birthday Reflections

In this special birthday-themed episode of Regulated & Relational, we’re doing something a little different—and a lot more personal. Julie Beem is celebrating her birthday by inviting the entire ATN podcast team into the studio for a heartfelt and reflective conversation about birthdays, aging, and the complexities surrounding these milestones—especially for children impacted by early childhood trauma.You’ll hear from Julie, Ginger, Lorraine, and Stephanie as they open up about their own birthday reflections, share meaningful life lessons, and discuss how birthdays can be both joyful and emotionally complicated—especially for children who have experienced trauma, loss, or displacement. Whether you’re a parent, educator, therapist, or someone who just loves a good reflection, this episode is both thought-provoking and full of warmth.

In this insightful episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Ginger Healy and Julie Beem are joined by Ce Eshelman, LMFT—an expert in attachment, trauma, and therapeutic parenting. With decades of experience as a therapist and adoptive parent, Ce brings both professional depth and personal understanding to this rich conversation.Together, we explore the foundations of therapeutic caregiving, how trauma impacts a child's behaviors and relationships, and what caregivers, educators, and clinicians can do to better support healing. Whether you're a parent, therapist, or simply someone passionate about trauma-informed care, this episode is filled with wisdom, encouragement, and practical tools for supporting children from hard places.What therapeutic parenting really means—and why it worksCommon misconceptions about children with trauma historiesHow traditional parenting approaches can fall short for these childrenPractical ways professionals and extended family can support adoptive and foster familiesWords of wisdom for overwhelmed caregivers—and why there is always hopeCe Eshelman, LMFT is the founder of The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships in Sacramento, CA. A passionate advocate for children from difficult beginnings, Ce is the creator of the Love Matters Parenting Program and author of two powerful books (links below). With over 35 years of clinical experience and lived expertise as an adoptive mom, Ce has helped countless families build connection, resilience, and healing.The Attach Place CenterAttachment & Trauma NetworkLove Matters Parenting Program – Learn Morehttps://www.lovemattersparenting.com/podcastDrowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parentshttps://a.co/d/6Z4MQki20 Things Children from Difficult Beginnings Wish Friends and Family Knewhttps://payhip.com/b/Y90UJ

Today, we’re honored to sit down with a friend of ATN, Martin Ali Simms—a Neurosequential Sports Specialist, Mental Health Consultant, and Founder of The DOPE Coach Academy. Martin has dedicated his life to helping athletes and coaches tap into the healing potential of brain-based approaches, somatic practices, and trauma-informed care.In this episode, we dive into:🧠 What it means to be a Neurosequential Sports Specialist and how brain development intersects with trauma recovery in sports 💪 How somatic practices support healing in athletes (and non-athletes) ⚽ Why sports and movement are such powerful tools for emotional and mental wellness 🏆 The mission and philosophy behind The DOPE Coach Academy 💬 How coaches can foster environments of emotional safety and growth 🔍 The evolving conversation around mental health in the sports world—and what’s still missing ✨ Simple, practical ways anyone can use movement to begin their own healing journeyWhether you're a coach, athlete, parent, or simply curious about the intersection of mental health and physical movement, this episode offers inspiration and actionable insights.Instagram: @thedopestcoachWebsite: www.thedopestcoach.com💬 “Trauma doesn’t just live in the mind—it lives in the body. And the body remembers.” — Martin SimmsIf you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share with someone who needs to hear it. And tag us when you’re listening—we love seeing how this community is growing through these conversations.

In this vital episode, Julie and Ginger dive into the intersection of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) with trauma-informed practices. As DEI comes under political and cultural scrutiny, the hosts make the case that there is no trauma-informed approach without embracing DEI.DEI is not optional for trauma-informed practice—it is essential.Diversity includes more than race: gender, neurodiversity, age, ability, and lived experience.Equity means adjusting systems and supports so everyone can thrive.Privilege isn’t shameful—it’s an opportunity to advocate and build awareness.Systems can either heal or harm—it's up to us to make them more inclusive.Diverse environments enhance safety, fairness, innovation, and connection.📚 Referenced Research & Resources:Merriam-Webster DefinitionsDiversity: “The condition of having or being composed of differing elements.”Equity: “Fairness or justice in the way people are treated.”SAMHSA’s Three E’s of TraumaEvent, Experience, and EffectSource: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), Trauma and ViolenceGreater Good Science Center – UC BerkeleyArticle: Why Diversity MattersSummary: Diversity enhances well-being, social connection, and community resilience.Website: https://greatergood.berkeley.eduuvonen et al. (2018) – UCLA Study on School DiversityTitle: Diversity and Peer Relations in SchoolsFinding: Diverse classrooms foster safety, reduce loneliness, and encourage cross-race friendships.Citation: Juvonen, J., Kogachi, K., & Graham, S. (2018). Psychological Science, 29(2), 230-241.Kenneth Braswell -https://www.kennethbraswell.com/Website: https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.orgFacebook: facebook.com/AttachmentTraumaNetworkEmail: [email protected]

In today’s episode of Regulated & Relational, Ginger Healy and Julie Beem are joined by a special guest, Cally Flox, a teaching artist, educator, and the lead author of A Teacher’s Guide to Resilience Through the Arts. Cally is the founding director of the BYU ARTS Partnership, where she works to enhance student learning and school culture by providing professional development for educators. With a wealth of experience teaching creative dance, integrated arts, and more, Cally brings a unique perspective to the conversation about supporting children impacted by early childhood trauma through arts education. Tune in to hear her insights on resilience, brain-compatible learning strategies, and the power of the arts in fostering healing and growth.Harvard’s Thinking Routineshttps://pz.harvard.edu/thinking-routinesCally’s summer art conferencehttps://education.byu.edu/arts/arts_expressBrain Gymhttps://breakthroughsinternational.org/programs/the-brain-gym-program/Cally’s Book-Teachers' Guide to Resiliency Through The Artshttps://a.co/d/diaJrQUResources Cally would like to share:https://advancingartsleadership.com/The Arts Playbook

In this insightful episode, we sit down with educator, writer, and advocate Meghan Ashburn to explore how we can better support autistic students—both in and out of the classroom. Meghan shares her journey from teacher to autism advocate and how listening to autistic voices reshaped her entire approach.We dive into:Why general education teachers are crucial allies for autistic studentsHow schools can become more neuro-affirming and inclusive spacesThe importance of centering autistic perspectives in both parenting and educationShifting away from behavior-focused strategies to more compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming support📚 Resources Mentioned:Beyond Behaviors by Dr. Mona DelahookeUniquely Human by Barry M. PrizantThe Reason I Jump by Naoki HigashidaMeghan’s website: Not an Autism MomThe Au-some Book Club – a community for learning alongside autistic voices📝 Read Meghan's Articles:"Gen Ed Teachers Hold the Key" – a powerful call to action for inclusive education"Make the School Library More Accessible to Autistic & Disabled Kids"

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy discuss the concept of self-compassion, drawing insights from Dr. Kristin Neff's work. Dr. Neff, a researcher in the field, defines self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a close friend. She breaks it into three elements: mindfulness (being aware of struggles), connection (understanding we're not alone in challenges), and kindness to self (responding with warmth instead of self-criticism).Julie shares her own struggles with self-compassion and how it can be difficult to confront pain, often either ignoring it or fighting it. Self-compassion, according to Dr. Neff, allows people to pause, acknowledge the difficulty, and respond with care.Dr. Neff emphasizes that self-compassion isn’t just a feel-good idea; it literally rewires the brain by activating the parasympathetic nervous system and increasing emotional regulation. It improves mental and physical health, supports decision-making, reduces stress, and enhances resilience.Julie and Ginger also provide five practical ways to incorporate more self-compassion into daily life, including mindfulness, self-care, journaling, connection with loved ones, and positive self-talk.Supporting ResourcesDr. Kristin Neffhttps://self-compassion.org/Dr. Neff’s bookshttps://www.amazon.com/s?k=dr+kristen+neff&crid=218H6KXMNYTJ&sprefix=dr+kristin+neff%2Caps%2C145&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Join Ginger and Julie as they wrap up the season by talking about brain lessons.  A little basic brain knowledge can go a long way in understanding behaviors and supporting children in your home or the classroom. Understanding brain development enables us to respond compassionately and helps children—and adults—thrive.  Brains grow from the bottom up and the inside out.  Although babies are born with brain structures in place, the development and activation of areas of the brain happen sequentially - from the bottom up and inside out. Brain development occurs sequentially, from the bottom up and inside out. Neural growth depends on environmental experiences, relationships, and developmental readiness—stages cannot be skipped. Chronic stress and trauma can disrupt this process, wiring the brain to expect stress and react to it intensely. However, due to neuroplasticity, the brain can adapt, heal, and reorganize itself, offering hope for those affected by trauma. Building resilience involves managing stress through deep breathing, meditation, proper sleep, hydration, nutrition, and healthy relationships. Caregivers play a vital role by offering responsive, nurturing care that supports neural tuning (strengthening) and pruning (removing unused connections). These processes help children learn trust, self-regulation, and efficient learning. Storytelling also fosters brain development by soothing stress responses and enhancing connection. Supporting Resources Dr. Wendy Suzuki https://www.wendysuzuki.com/ Good Anxiety https://a.co/d/7jsv01N Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/ 7 ½ lessons on the brain book https://a.co/d/fq0zTlx Dr. Bessel Van der kolk -Trauma Research Institute https://traumaresearchfoundation.org/programs/faculty/bessel-van-der-kolk/ Jessica Sinarski- Light up the Learning Brain https://a.co/d/fR1gXhb

Join Julie and Ginger as they speak with Dr. Lori Desautels Dr. Lori Desautels has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016, teaching undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. The Applied Educational Neuroscience Certification, created by Lori in 2016, is specifically designed to meet the needs of educators, counselors, clinicians, and administrators who work with children and adolescents who have experienced adversity and trauma. https://revelationsineducation.com/ Lori has written 6 books https://revelationsineducation.com/the-book/ Register for her symposium here https://www.butler.edu/education/education-neuroscience-symposium/ Register for her summer cohort certification in educational neuroscience here https://www.butler.edu/education/graduate-programs/applied-educational-neuroscience/ Dr. Lori will be doing a 3-hour deep dive during our Academy Day/Pre-Con at our Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference in Feb in Atlanta! Register now! Here are a couple of favorite takeaways from our episode that Lori beautifully teaches. “Touchpoints are moments of connection that, when any of us feel heard and seen, just changes our biology. When someone sees, feels, or hears us…wow, that’s a lift. A dopamine hit or a serotonin hit. It feels so nourishing to us. “ “We have this beautiful nervous system, which is the brain and body, in constant communication; there’s this bi-directional highway. Our nervous system’s priority is survival. Anytime we sense or feel something in our environment, relationship, or experience that feels threatening or unsafe, our nervous system goes into a state of protection.”

Join Julie and Ginger as they speak with Anashay Wright,  a national award-winning educator, speaker, consultant, and ​​founder of Authentic Disruption and Disruptive Partners, a community-based leadership development program.  https://www.anashaywright.com/ Anashay describes her journey by telling a story of inclusive school leaders who surrounded her family with community resources when they were in need. She says that school and district leaders prioritized people over policy, which led to Anashay falling in love with helping children, and she is now paying it forward. Here are some great takeaways from Anashay: The curriculum can’t save you. Brainwash them into greatness. Use the community as a connector.  Use tech and AI to educate. Kids don’t need Saviorism; they need servant leaders. Kids can read! They read what they want. You can drive solutions with what kids CAN do. If they argue, teach them to argue like an attorney.  Beware of the cycle of impoverished thinking. Give them the power to express themselves, and then listen to them. Beware of deficit thinking that shames people. What are the gifts and talents that you bring into the space? Let them dream. Lead with what’s possible. It starts with the adult dreaming. Make their vision your mission. Lead with radical, disruptive love. The question isn’t how we protect kids from trauma; it’s how we help them respond to it when they encounter it. Our favorite quote from Anashay: When we start to lead with what’s possible and the promise, shift our thinking, and actually believe in ourselves and then in our children, we will disrupt the system. Disruptive Innovation means building something better and ignoring what we currently have. In a classroom, that means if all the other teachers are writing kids up, I’m not going to write kids up. I’m simply gonna ask kids, “What’s wrong, what’s the solution, and how are you feeling?” The big and small moves you make every day when nobody is looking disrupt the system.