Ep 129: Anxiety, Avoidance , and the Courage to Stay Connected

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy explore anxiety through an attachment-focused and trauma-informed lens. Together, they discuss how worry, avoidance, emotional numbness, and perfectionism often develop as protective coping strategies, while also examining how these strategies can unintentionally keep us disconnected from ourselves and others.Julie and Ginger help us understand anxiety is often less about eliminating fear and more about understanding what lies beneath it and share compassionate insight into the healing power of authentic connection, vulnerability, and relationship repair.Resources Mentioned and QuotesThe Dance of Fear by Harriet LernerRelational-Cultural Theory (Judith Jordan)Attachment- and trauma-informed approaches to healing and connection"It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance." — Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear"You want to feel comfortable and so you avoid doing and saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid." — Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear"The need for connection in which growth is a priority is the core motivation in people's lives." — Judith Jordan

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Ginger Healy and Tracy Leonard welcome nationally recognized special education advocate, speaker, author, and trainer Karen Mayer Cunningham, also known as The Special Education Boss®.With over 30 years of experience supporting students with disabilities, families, educators, advocates, and school systems, Karen brings a unique blend of expertise, humor, and compassion to the conversation. As a USA Today National Bestselling Author of The Epic IEP™, Karen has become a leading voice in helping families and professionals navigate special education services and achieve meaningful outcomes for students.Our hosts explore with Karen the importance of collaboration, advocacy, communication, and student-centered supports within the special education process along with practical insights for families and educators who sit at the IEP and 504 table for creating stronger relationships and better educational outcomes for children.Karen's mission is simple but powerful: when we get it right for the child, we get it right for everyone.Quotes:“All kids are RA - Ridiculously Amazing” KMC“The hardest people to teach are adult learners” KMCOfficial WebsiteSpecial Education AcademySpecial Education Boss® with Karen Mayer CunninghamApple Podcasts: Special Education Boss® Podcast on Apple PodcastsSpotify: Special Education Boss® Podcast on SpotifyBuzzsprout (official podcast site): Special Education Boss® PodcastOfficial Book WebsiteThe Epic IEP™   Official AcademyThe Epic IEP™ AcademyFacebook: Special Education Boss®Instagram: @specialeducationboss TikTok: @specialeducationbossYouTube: Special Education AcademyLinkedIn (Karen Mayer Cunningham): Karen Mayer Cunningham on LinkedInLinkedIn (Company): Special Education Academy

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Tracy Leonard and Lorraine Schneider welcome Dr. Roberts Anda, co-founder and principal investigator of the groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.For more than two decades, Dr. Anda's work has transformed our understanding of how early adversity impacts physical health, mental health, education, relationships, and lifespan outcomes. As one of the architects of the original ACE Study, he helped shine a light on the profound connection between childhood experiences and adult well-being, sparking a global movement toward trauma-informed practices.Today, Dr. Anda reflects on the origins of the ACE Study, the unexpected reach of its findings, and the evolution of trauma-informed approaches across healthcare, education, social services, and communities. He also shares insights into where the field is headed next and his continued vision for creating a trauma-informed nation.ACE Interface: https://www.aceinterface.comLearn more about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): https://www.cdc.gov/acesDr. Anda’s research publications: https://www.researchgate.net/scientific-contributions/Robert-F-Anda-39796848 Quote from Dr. Anda, “The ACE Study didn't just change how we think about childhood adversity. It changed how we understand health, healing, and the importance of creating environments where children and families can thrive.”

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Tracy Leonard and Ginger Healy welcome Karen Buckwalter, a therapist, supervisor, trainer, and consultant with more than 30 years of experience supporting children, families, and professionals navigating complex mental health challenges.Grounded in attachment theory and relationship-based healing, Karen has dedicated her career to helping people feel safer, more connected, and more supported. Her work emphasizes the importance of creating both a safe haven and a secure base for growth, whether working directly with children and families or mentoring the professionals who serve them.Soon we have the opportunity to learn more from Karen as she will be a featured speaker at the Attachment & Trauma Network's virtual Building Resilient Communities for Children Conference September 17 and 18, where she will continue to share practical insights for creating stronger, more supportive communities for children and families.Find Karen’s book and other resources mentioned in the podcast at the links below:Karen’s website  - https://www.karendoylebuckwalter.com/Karen’s resources www.karendoylebuckwalter.com/resourcesKaren’s Book- Raising The Challenging Child -https://a.co/d/08H1bAbUKaren’s Podcast The Attachment Panel:https://youtu.be/w7AZoBFn774?si=q22UAteMxc5RLz7NTrust‑Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®)  - https://child.tcu.edu/tbri/social media handles for tagging:https://www.facebook.com/karendoylebuckwalterhttps://www.instagram.com/karendoylebuckwalter/https://www.linkedin.com/in/karen-doyle-buckwalter-2757593b/Suggested attachment book- The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust by Ed Tronick https://a.co/d/0cvkAOCQLink to the Building Resilient Children virtual Conference: https://attachmenttraumanetwork.org/brcc/ 

Amusement makes us feel good, but sometimes something that is funny to one person may not be funny to the next person. Ginger Healy and Tracy Leonard explore the nuances of humor, the benefits of a good laugh, and the awareness one needs to avoid creating unintentional discomfort. True to the nature of being human, we each register humor a little differently as it filters through our personal histories and experiences. Tracy and Ginger reflect on our neurodivergent friends and how humor and sarcasm may not register as different concepts depending on tone of voice used and a sensitivity to unpredictability and emotional safety. In this discussion, Ginger recounts a conversation with her son that made her aware of the root meaning of the word sarcasm and its emotional impact. Her reflection visibly resonates with both hosts, serving as a reminder to pause and consider the effect of our words before speaking.Amusement fosters connection, safety, and belonging, while sarcasm can sometimes function as protective armor that creates distance and emotional harm. By becoming more aware of how we use humor, we can choose forms of laughter that help people feel seen, safe, and connected rather than criticized or excluded.“Humor is not the enemy. The invitation is simply - awareness.” Tracy LeonardBrené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is available at Bookshop.org or a local bookstore near you.

Join Tracy and Julie for this week’s podcast episode focusing on the influential role comparison plays in our lives! Why do we compare? How does it impact our emotional well-being? How can we shift comparison into something healthier and more constructive? Drawing from research, personal experiences, and referencing Atlas of the Heart by one of their favorite authors Brené Brown, Tracy and Julie unpack how comparison shapes our inner and relational well-being.Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is available at Bookshop.org or a local bookstore near you.

In this episode of Regulated & Relational Tracy, Ginger, and Julie come together to mark a significant transition for the Attachment & Trauma Network: the retirement of longtime Executive Director, Julie Beem. Using this moment of change as a springboard, our hosts explore important elements of transition, both positive and negative, and the impact transition has on our bodies, our minds, and how we respond to and go about our daily lives. Through both professional insight and vulnerable personal stories Tracy, Ginger, and Julie unpack what it means to navigate change in a trauma-informed, attachment-focused way—for ourselves and for the children in our lives.Ginger Healy’s current children’s book, Stronger Together and other books authored by Ginger can be found: Ginger Healy publications website https://gingerhealy.com/publications Bookshop.org https://tinyurl.com/y8hcfscu

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Tracy and Ginger welcome Dr. Lisa A. Riegel—nationally recognized educator, researcher, founder of the Educational Partnerships Institute, and author of the book NeuroWell. Together, they explore why skills like emotional regulation, connection, and self-awareness are not “soft” at all, but essential to learning, wellbeing, and long-term success.Dr. Riegel emphasizes that meaningful change doesn’t happen at the classroom level alone—it requires alignment across entire systems. As she powerfully states, “If we want different outcomes, we need different systems—not just better intentions.”Drawing on neuroscience, trauma-informed practice, and systems-level leadership, Dr. Riegel challenges traditional school models and calls for a shift toward proactive, brain-aligned environments that support both students and educators.“When you attend to the human people, the academics come…a lot faster too.” Dr. Lisa Riegel📚 Learn More About Dr. Lisa A. RiegelBook: NeuroWell Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/NeuroWell-Applying-science-supportive-proactive/dp/B0F1N5DJQF Organization: Educational Partnerships Institute https://www.epinstitute.net/Frameworks: NeuroWell culture www.epinstitute.net/neurowellFocus Areas: Brain-based leadership, trauma-informed systems, school culture transformationLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisariegel/To explore more of Dr. Riegel’s work visit the Educational Partnerships Institute online, using the provided link, for current articles, speaking engagements, and social media presence.

This week on Regulated & Relational, Ginger Healy and Julie Beem welcome a very special guest: educator, speaker, and viral content creator, Jere Chang.Known to millions online as “Ms. Chang,” Jere brings humor, honesty, creativity, and deep compassion to conversations about education, inclusion, belonging, and what she calls radical kindness. With more than 20 years in education and a global social media following, Jere has become a powerful voice for teachers, families, and children navigating today’s educational landscape.In this conversation, we explore:Jere’s journey into teaching and gifted educationWhy social media became a platform for advocacy and connectionWhat “soft activism” and radical kindness really meanThe changing realities facing both students and educators todayThe power of authenticity, curiosity, resilience, and belongingHow laughter and connection can become pathways to healingMs. Chang’s new book on Amazon! Becoming the Teacher I Needed: Lessons in Radical Kindness and Resilience https://www.amazon.com/dp/1394357621 Find Ms. Chang on social mediaMs. Chang Gifted Official Website (mschanggifted)TikTok: @mschanggifted on TikTokInstagram: @mschanggifted on InstagramYouTube: Jere Chang (@mschanggifted) on YouTubeFacebook: Ms. Chang Gifted on FacebookLinktree (all socials): Ms. Chang Gifted Linktree (Linktree)

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Tracy Leonard and Ginger Healy sit down with Sage Hancock, Executive Director of GenerationAll, for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation on breaking cycles of trauma and creating systemic change.Sage shares her expertise at the intersection of advocacy, healing, and prevention—exploring what it truly means to be trauma-informed and attachment-focused when supporting children and families impacted by early childhood trauma.Together, they discuss:• What effective prevention looks like for at-risk children and families• How generational and secondary trauma show up across communities• The importance of early identification and how trauma manifests in the body• Why systems like healthcare and policy must shift toward earlier intervention• The “circle” of prevention and moving upstream to stop harm before it happens• Expanding models of care, especially in underserved and rural communities• The role of storytelling—including Hometown Betrayal—in driving awareness and changeThis episode is a deep dive into how we move from awareness to action—centering lived experience, strengthening families, and reimagining systems to better protect and support survivors.Learn more about GenerationAll: https://www.generationall.org/Follow on social: @generation.allBook referenced: Hometown Betrayalhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D4KS4S4H