Ballpark Crimes | Episode 287

Daniel asks Soren what his dream children’s birthday party would look like—and is horrified by the answer. They discuss the grim realities of modern parenting etiquette: napkins that disintegrate on contact, unguarded bathroom doors, and the impossibility of feeding both adults and children. Plus: Spider-Man party flirting, a Chuck E. Cheese beatdown, and why kids no longer open presents in front of each other.Bonus episodes + Dead Presidents miniseries available on Patreon and Apple Podcasts: www.patreon.com/quickquestionFollow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social/Thanks to Shopify for sponsoring this episode. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/qq

Daniel was adjacent to a situation at a Pete Davidson show that leads the guys to a conversation about bystander instincts, invisible heroism, and what it means to be posed in your seat. Plus, cremation fraud, why cemeteries are dumb, and why people who rescue you never want to talk about it.Thanks to ASPCA Pet Insurance for sponsoring this episode. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION.  The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

The guys weigh the pros and cons of being supplement grifters, wonder what the Quick Question equivalent of SmartLess Mobile might be, and find peace despite how much less integrity they have than Ryan Holiday, Then, early lessons in academic dishonesty and a truly cursed pitch from Daniel’s past.Follow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/ https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialThanks to ASPCA Pet Insurance for sponsoring this episode. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

Daniel went to Citi Field, home of surprisingly reaosnable food, so the guys debate whether they could handle the “7 hot dogs, 7 beers in 7 innings” challenge and explore some of the most atrocious signature dishes in stadiums across the country.

The guys pull the curtain back to reveal a sordid behind the scenes look at what the bathrooms are like for television writers in the office, discuss the efficacy of a test for diagnosing psychopathy, and Soren shares a very cute story. Dead Presidents Ep. 2 with the incomparable Rachel Bloom is out now on Patreon! Get the whole miniseries about the guys on the money + bonus episodes of Quick Question at www.patreon.com/quickquestionFollow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/ https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social

The guys share the tentpoles of culture that to them can do no wrong, like how Daniel will bend like a pretzel for Andor and Soren will follow his Alpha Dog anywhere. They also reminisce on Soren's days as a morning radio contributor and decide being a morning zoo DJ must be the best job in the world. Follow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social

The guys set aside morals and allergies to design the ideal multi-course fast food feast. Plus Daniel's go a bone to pick with friend of the show Jason Pargin, and Taskmaster is back and this time there's an American. Follow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social

The guys introduce Dead Presidents, a 5-part miniseries, hosted by Daniel and pre-dating Quick Question, about the men on the money. We hope you enjoy! -George Washington is our nation’s esteemed first president, but does he really belong on the $1? If he was so great, why isn’t he on a more valuable bill? Answering these questions will take host Daniel O’Brien and YouTube comedian Hannah Hart on a journey through the worlds of strippers, dollar coins, and a president who might have been immortal.Daniel O'Brien: @DOB_IncHannah Hart: @harto

The guys have more ideas to make medicine better, as Daniel recounts a peculiar encounter with a faulty heart rate monitor and an unnaturally consistent heartbeat and Soren had a fun time at his cancer screening appointment. Thanks to Shopify for sponsoring this episode. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/qqThanks to ASPCA Pet Insurance for sponsoring this episode. To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/QUESTION.  The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.

The guys meet in the shadows to share their conspiratorial beliefs about mis-hit iPhone buttons and political donation solicitation text messages. Plus, Soren's been rewatching The Last of Us and Shogun season two will have many more dragons.Follow Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social