Episode 241: Allison Deraney

On the identities we no longer need, the alchemy of recovery, and mourning the person we used to be.  (0:00) – Introduction and Background of Allison Derani (2:13) – Allison's Journey and Grief in Recovery (5:21) – Parenting and Self-Abandonment (7:04) – The Ambiguous Grief of Self-Abandonment (7:50) – The Liminal Space of Sobriety (18:39) – The Importance of Listening to Questions (22:57) – The Practice of Slowing Down (25:21) – Closing Thoughts and Future Plans Allison Deraney is a woman in recovery from alcohol who credits sobriety for waking her back up to her first passion—writing. Currently a licensed real estate attorney, running her own business, she's writing more creativity into her days via her Substack, Dare To Be, and working on her first book, a memoir about the healing and revealing as we recover from the ambiguous loss of self-abandonment. Dedicated to speaking up and speaking out about living a conscious sober life, Allison lives in Massachusetts with her husband, two kids, and two rescue dogs, spending her free time wandering and wondering in nature, and cheering her kids on from the sidelines of the basketball court. Allison's book-to-be is about grief; not the traditional kind, though there is some of that in there. The biggest lesson she's learned in recovery is this: Rejecting grief, in all its iterations, is a form of self-abandonment. Grief requires that we surrender to it. So does addiction, compulsion of perfection and aging. It's a book that explores how my midlife journey is intersecting with the deeper parts of recovery in the most terrifying and beautiful way. It's a unique book in that it is written during the transformation. Because I am still in it. Sobriety has been my portal to Divinity and I'm here, feet planted on the threshold, weaving words to capture the experience as best I can. https://allisonderaney.substack.com Here are Allison's three favorite posts from her Substack, DARE TO BE, out of an immense pull to write through her sobriety. https://open.substack.com/pub/allisonderaney/p/setting-off-our-own-fireworks-a95?r=rkt4u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false https://open.substack.com/pub/allisonderaney/p/its-been-a-whole-hand?r=rkt4u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false https://open.substack.com/pub/allisonderaney/p/my-permission-sticks-they-still-keep?r=rkt4u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

On the root causes of emotional eating, tools with which to begin your healing process, and gifting yourself grace as you go. And you're not broken. (0:00) – Introduction (3:10) – Self-Sabotaging Behaviors and Societal Conditioning (9:09) – Emotional Eating and Coping Mechanisms (13:24) – Building Awareness and Coping Strategies (20:01) – Healing the Relationship with Food (28:16) – Practical Recommendations for Blood Sugar Management (33:05) – Conclusion and Encouragement Amber Romaniuk is an Emotional Eating, Digestive and Hormone Expert, with 12 years experience helping high achieving women create a level of body confidence, intuition and optimal health through powerful mindset healing, self-care and overcoming self-sabotage with food. She does this through addressing the key negative thoughts, patterns and limiting beliefs that keep women stuck in the same behaviors for years and decades, that they haven't been able to break. Resources: Emotional Eating Quiz Free 30 minute Body Freedom Consultation Amber's podcast Amber's YouTube Amber's Instagram

On the undeniable gift of becoming our own ally, when personal healing becomes shared, universal healing. (0:00) – Annetta Knopf's Journey and Book Introduction (5:12) – Challenges and Insights in Writing the Book (9:50) – Personal Trauma and Healing (19:57) – The Concept of Femininity and Masculinity (29:27) – Practical Practices for Healing and Transformation (31:26) – Final Reflections and Gratitude Annette Knopp is a meditation teacher, somatic counselor, and nature mystic who favors an integrative approach to living in wakeful and embodied connection. For twenty years she has mentored clients on their unique journeys of healing and awakening. She spent nine years living in India, Japan, Australia, and the Netherlands before moving to the US on a religious worker visa. In 2009 Annette and her husband Stephan opened the Blue Spirit Retreat Center in Nosara, Costa Rica. Today she divides her time between Costa Rica and Woodstock, New York. In the US, she is often teaching at the Upaya Zen Center and Omega Institute in Rhinebeck.. Mystic Nomad: A Woman's Wild Journey to True Connection https://www.annetteknopp.com/book.

On practice as a continuous evolution of form, care and depth, and sustaining the light of our teachers as an act of love.  Kino MacGregor is a Miami native, happiest on the beach with a fresh coconut. She's a poet at heart, always stopping to smell the flowers. She also the founder of Omstars, the world's first yoga TV network, and her message of spiritual strength reaches practitioners the world over. With 1m+ followers on Instagram and over 500k subscribers on YouTube and Facebook, she's sought after as an expert in yoga and international yoga teacher, inspirational speaker, author of four books, producer of six Ashtanga Yoga DVDs, a writer, vlogger, world traveler, and co-founder of Miami Life Center. (0:00) – Introduction (3:03) – The Spiritual Journey of Yoga (8:46) – The Role of Yoga in End-of-Life Preparation (14:20) – The Importance of Patience and Forbearance in Yoga (24:18) – Balancing Personal Challenges and Joyful Moments (26:12) – The Evolution of Kino's Teaching and Practice (31:30) – Conclusion and Gratitude https://kinoyoga.com

On the tortoise approach, the seven-day ask, the gift and truth of less being more, and the practice of no-complaints-whatsoever. 0:00 — Introduction and Overview of Light Watkins' Book 1:56 — The Tortoise Approach and Consistency 6:43 — Personal Experiences and Application of the Tortoise Approach 10:48 — Challenges and Practical Applications 17:53 — Addiction and Meditation Challenges 28:53 — Forgiveness and Purge Challenges 32:44 — Conclusion and Recommendations For over two decades, Light Watkins has helped leaders and teams embed presence into how they live, lead, and connect. His approach elevates performance not by pushing harder, but by helping audiences show up more fully. Light is the author of five bestselling books on happiness, mindfulness, minimalism, and transformation. His TEDx Talk on rethinking mindfulness is approaching a million views. Known as "The Presence Whisperer," Light delivers keynotes that are humorous, heartfelt, practical, unforgettable. https://www.lightwatkins.com/

On the practice of sitting, walking, becoming, and living as yourself, precisely where you are. (0:00) – Introduction and Guest Welcome (2:21) – Gru's Journey to Zen Practice (5:53) – Elena's Personal Reflections (12:18) – The Concept of "Becoming Yourself" (19:34) – The Role of Precepts and Ethical Practice (32:29) – The Importance of Confidence and Effort (37:46) – Conclusion and Gratitude This long-awaited new book from Shunryu Suzuki: Becoming Yourself: Teachings on the Zen Way of Life, edited by Jiryu Rutschman-Byler and Sojun Mel Weitsman, is one of my favorite books of 2025. Jiryu Rutschman-Byler is a Soto Zen Buddhist priest and teacher in the lineage of Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, with dharma transmission from Sojun Mel Weitsman. Jiryu has trained residentially in Zen temples since 1996, and currently serves as a co-Abbot of San Francisco Zen Center through his role as Abiding Abbot of Green Gulch Farm Zen Center. Shunryu Suzuki was one of the most influential spiritual teachers of the Twentieth Century and a founding father of Zen in America. Suzuki's Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, first published in the U.S. in 1970, is considered one of the most important Buddhist books in modern history, and has been translated into more than thirty-five languages. A Japanese priest of the Sōtō lineage, Suzuki taught Buddhism in the United States from 1959 until his death in 1971. He was the founder of the San Francisco Zen Center and the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center. While contemporary Buddhist figures such as His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Thích Nhất Hạnh, and Pema Chödrön are more familiar to American audiences, Shunryu Suzuki was among the first Buddhist teachers with cultural influence in the West and was the first to establish a lasting practice community in the U.S. Importantly, the warmth, humor, and simplicity of Suzuki's teachings made Buddhism accessible. For decades, the San Francisco Zen Center has preserved an archive of Suzuki's original audio teachings, most of which have never been edited or published. Becoming Yourself: Teachings on the Zen Way of Life offers newly available teachings by Suzuki, exploring a practice he describes as fundamentally about "becoming yourself." Rather than offering a philosophy or even a set of techniques, Suzuki points to a way of being, and calls readers to the simple practice of zazen, or "just to sit," as the expression of a fulfilling life and grounded ethical orientation. Becoming Yourself is a result of the painstaking efforts of the Zen community over many years. Archiving, transcribing and interpreting Suzuki's intention clearly and accurately proved to be very challenging work. The final editor and compiler of the book is Jiryu Rutschman-Byler, a senior teacher and co-Abbot of the San Francisco Zen Center. As we learn in these pages, "becoming yourself" is not meant to be understood as an idea but rather tried out as a way of being. It is a practice of deeply connecting with how it feels to be alive in your surroundings, whether on a meditation cushion or not, and stepping forward from that connection. It is opening to your life, wherever you are, and finding right there a deep well of innate wisdom, compassion, and care.

On the Tao Te Ching as guide through recovery, allowing our process, and the generative medicine of stillness. (0:00) – Introduction (3:32) – Miguel's Journey and Inspiration (6:50) – Day 11: The Use of Emptiness (11:44) – Day 19: Empty Your Mind (15:16) – Day 25: That Which Cannot Be Named (21:00) – Day 60: Handle Life Gently (24:46) – Group Facilitation and Personal Reflections (26:55) – Final Thoughts and Contact Information Miguel Rios is an educator, writer, and recovery advocate. By day, he teaches 8th-grade English, helping young people find their voice through literature. By night—and often early morning—he writes poetry, reflections, and spiritual texts grounded in Taoist philosophy, sobriety, and presence. The Way Within Without was born from Miguel's personal journey through recovery. It's the book he wished he had in the beginning: something honest, non-dogmatic, and deeply gentle. Miguel believes healing happens quietly. In stillness, not striving. In simplicity, not performance. His work blends ancient wisdom with modern clarity, inviting readers to return to the calm already within them. He lives in New York and spends his free time walking, reading, and sipping coffee. https://www.thewaywithinwithout.com

On the power of letting go of numbing habit energies, aligning with our intrinsic wisdom, and living a clear life.  0:00 – Introduction and Guest Overview 1:55 – Discussion on the First Awareness: My Life is Better Clear 4:24 – Experimenting with Alcohol and Personal Growth 8:37 – The Concept of "Clear" and Personal Agency 10:33 – Connection Between Alcohol and Health Issues 19:03 – The Fourth Awareness: My Trauma is Not My Identity 21:02 – The Fifth Awareness: Forgiveness and Letting Go 29:58 – The Sixth Awareness: I Do Not Judge or Impose My Orientations Upon Others 34:01 – The Seventh Awareness: Our Most Precious Currency is Time 39:07 – The Eighth Awareness: I Seek Ways to Support Others Cecily is a mother, author, investor, and founder, the voice behind the ClearLife Movement, the ClearLife Reset, and host of the Undimmed podcast. A former attorney and Silicon Valley executive turned author and investor, she's also the co-founder of Wisdom Ventures. Cecily helps people create undimmed lives of presence and intention, free from the stigma of addiction and the patterns of avoidance that keep us from living fully. Her new book, released January 2026. Undimmed, The Eight Awarenesses for Freedom from Unwanted Habits - https://www.cecilymak.com/book-coming-soon Podcast, Undimmed; conversations with people on an undimming path: https://www.cecilymak.com/podcast ClearLife Reset Supplement (feel amazing as you take a break from drinking): https://www.clearlifereset.com/

Our annual session includes readings from Hold Nothing, emphasizing practice, respect, and structures of encouragement. Join me to sit briefly, address potent prompts intended to create intentionality and spaces of grace for you and yours as you proceed into this year.  (0:00) – Annual Planning Session Introduction (1:54) – Practice and Respect in Conscious Evolution (4:45) – Zen Meditation and the Practice of Zazen (7:20) – Aging and Letting Go of Caring About Others' Opinions (10:16) – Note of Gratitude from the Body (35:42) – Sitting Practice and Reflection on Encouragement (39:29) – Engaging in Relationships with Encouragement (47:58) – Final Reflections and Q&A Resources Planning Guidebook Feelings and Needs List Substacks Elena Brower – Hold Nothing Sierra Campbell – Choose Nurture | choosenurture.com Laurel Hayne-Miller – The Flowering Path Books Bookshop Everyday Zen — Charlotte Joko Beck Returning to Silence — Kōshō Uchiyama Silent Illumination — Guo Gu The Truth of This Life — Katherine Thanas Mountains and Rivers Sutra — Norman Fischer Better Apart — Gabrielle Hartley and Elena Brower What We Say Matters — Judith Lasater

For mothers, mothers-to-be and those supporting mothers: On matrescence as transformation; offering the Four Elements model as a map for the rite of passage that is motherhood. (0:00) – Introduction and Guest Welcome (1:16) – Importance of Rites of Passage (3:09) – The Four Elements of Radical Transformation (6:19) – The Earth Element: Grounding and Taking Stock (8:11) – The Water Element: Grief and Letting Go (15:19) – The Air Element: Liminality and Uncertainty (20:07) – The Fire Element: Exploration and New Beginnings (25:27) – Rituals and Practices for Self-Care (29:49) – The Mother Powers: Skills and Capacities (33:56) – Conclusion and Resources Jessie Harrold is a coach and doula who has been supporting women through radical life transformations and other rites of passage for over fifteen years. She works one-on-one with women and mothers, facilitates mentorship programs, women's circles and rituals, and hosts retreats and nature-based experiences. Jessie is the author of the Nautilus Gold Medal Award-winning book, Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage (Shambhala 2024). She is also the host of The Becoming Podcast. Jessie lives on the east coast of Canada where she mothers her two children, writes, and stewards the land. Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage  Jessie is also the founder of the internationally acclaimed matrescence support program MotherSHIFT, and its sister program for perinatal professionals, The Village.