#90 Feel Invisible? This Simple Confidence Shift Will Change Everything

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack the real meaning of self-confidence and why it has nothing to do with being loud, forceful, or outspoken. Through relatable examples and clear explanations, they explore how low confidence shows up through hesitation, second‑guessing, and freeze responses, while genuine confidence is rooted in belief, stability, and calm decision-making.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:What self-confidence really looks like – Understand why calm presence signals more confidence than loud behavior.How low confidence shows up in daily life – Recognize signs like second-guessing, hesitation, and freeze response.How past experiences impact self-confidence – Learn how early criticism or trauma can lower belief in yourself.Tools to rebuild confidence gently – Use posture shifts and anchored self-talk to strengthen inner stability.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack the deeper meaning of self-esteem and why it influences everything from your confidence to your clutter. Through real-life examples and clear explanations, they explore how low self-esteem shows up in your body, your choices, and your daily stress. IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:What self-esteem really means – Understand how it shapes identity, behavior, and emotional health.How low self-esteem shows up in daily life – Learn the signs in posture, anxiety, and decision fatigue.The 5 pillars of healthy self-esteem – Explore self-confidence, security, identity, belonging, and competence.Why healing self-esteem transforms everything – Discover how small shifts can lead to lasting confidence and peace.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this powerful episode, Valerie and JM explore how clutter, shutdown, and emotional paralysis are often signals of an overwhelmed nervous system. You’ll learn how trauma can silently shape your environment and self-talk, and how to shift from shame to self-compassion. With gentle tools like task shrinking, emotional safety cues, and trauma-informed journaling, this episode helps you take the first small step toward healing—and finally feel seen.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How freeze shows up as clutter and shutdown – Learn why inaction may be a trauma response, not laziness.The link between safety and capacity – Understand how your nervous system impacts daily tasks.How to reframe shame into compassion – Shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?”Gentle tools to move out of freeze – Use calming cues, task shrinking, and self-trust practices to start healingLINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack why items get lost in the chaos, how clutter blinds your brain to what you already have, and why shopping can feel like a momentary relief. You’ll learn the psychology behind duplicate buying, the hidden costs it creates, and simple steps to take back control with category-based decluttering, visibility zones, and a “do not buy” list. A clear space means clearer choices—and more intentional living.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why do you keep buying duplicates – Learn how clutter and decision fatigue fuel repeat purchases.How clutter creates emotional blind spots – Understand why your brain tunes out what you already own.The true cost of duplicate buying – Discover how it drains your time, money, and peace of mind.Simple strategies to stop overbuying – Use inventories, visibility zones, and a “do not buy” list.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, JM and Valerie walk you through how to declutter with purpose—without losing what matters. Learn why clutter builds up, how it affects your well-being, and seven practical tips to clear space, ease stress, and create a home that reflects your next season of life. From sentimental items to daily habits, this is your guide to decluttering for a calmer, more joyful retirement.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why retirement is the ideal time to declutter – Create space for peace, not just stuff.How to start small and stay consistent – Use focused zones and monthly habits to reduce overwhelm.Practical tips for letting go of excess – From duplicates to sentimental items, clear what no longer serves you.How decluttering supports emotional well-being – Reduce stress and make room for joy in your next chapter.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack the hidden force behind overwhelm: decision fatigue. From nonstop choices to emotional burnout, they explain why clutter often builds up when your brain is maxed out—not because you’re lazy, but because you're overloaded. You’ll learn small, actionable steps like the “Decision-Free Five,” reset baskets, and no-think routines to reduce pressure and reclaim energy. This conversation offers relief, clarity, and a powerful reframe: you're not broken—you’re just tired.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why clutter is linked to decision fatigue – Understand the hidden mental load behind everyday mess.How to recognize overwhelm, not laziness – Reframe clutter as a symptom, not a failure.Simple tools to reduce decision pressure – Use reset baskets, no-think routines, and the “Decision-Free Five.”How small wins restore clarity and energy – Learn how to rebuild momentum without burnout.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack the emotional disconnect behind aesthetically beautiful spaces that feel hollow. They explore how life transitions, loss, and emotional needs often get left out of design trends. You’ll learn how to bring soul back into your space with texture, memory, and meaning—so it reflects who you are now, not just how it looks. Redesign your space not for style, but for healing.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why styled homes can still feel empty – Understand the emotional gap behind picture-perfect spaces.How life transitions impact your environment – Explore how your home may no longer reflect who you are.Ways to add meaning back into your space – Use texture, memory, and comfort to create connection.Simple design shifts that support healing – Add warmth through scent, light, sound, and personal items.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM explore the difference between laziness and depression, using side-by-side comparisons, personal stories, and trauma-informed insight. You’ll learn how mental exhaustion mimics avoidance, how shame blocks healing, and three small tools to regain clarity and energy. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or broken—this conversation will help you see the truth behind your struggle and remind you that you’re not alone.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How to tell the difference between laziness and depression – Learn key emotional and behavioral signs.Why self-blame keeps you stuck – Understand how shame masks deeper struggles.Three small tools to rebuild energy and clarity – Start with emotion naming, energy tracking, and one square foot.The truth about mental exhaustion – Discover why burnout isn’t weakness—it’s a signal to heal.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM share Barbara’s powerful empty-nest decluttering story and the trauma-informed steps they used to help her move forward. From creating memory boxes to reframing guilt as growth, this episode is a compassionate guide for parents transitioning into a new chapter. Learn how to release what no longer serves you and make room for peace, purpose, and possibility.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How to declutter after kids move out – Navigate the emotional side of empty-nest transitions.Why guilt makes letting go harder – Learn how to release items without shame or pressure.Use the Keep, Donate, Memory Box system – Create structure that honors the past while clearing space.How decluttering creates new purpose – Reclaim rooms and routines for your next chapter.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM introduce the DO Well® Method—a four-part, science-backed approach to healing through decluttering. You’ll learn how stress, mindset, time, and space are connected—and why lasting change comes from addressing all four. With real-life transformation stories and practical insights, this trauma-informed method helps you clear more than just your home. It’s a path to emotional clarity, resilience, and sustainable peace.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:What the DO Well® Method is – A trauma-informed system for lasting life and home transformation.How clutter reflects deeper emotional pain – Learn why decluttering is about healing, not just tidying.The 4 pillars: Stress, Mind, Time, Space – Discover how each area supports sustainable progress.Real stories of transformation – See how others have used this method to find peace and clarity.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show