EP 46: AI Dating Concierges, $1K Pre-Date Deposits & Free UK Childcare?!

This week, we’re diving deep into the future of dating — and it's getting a high-tech upgrade. Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd says AI could soon help you navigate dating anxiety, improve your communication, and even “date” other AIs to find your perfect match. Helpful or horrifying? We weigh in. Then, tennis pro Sachia Vickery has gone viral after revealing she requires a $1,000 deposit before any date. Is this setting boundaries or setting a new trend? And what does that conversation actually sound like? Also, are we okay with step-parents adopting kids when the biological parent is still involved? The internet is buzzing with rumors about Russell Wilson and Ciara’s son with rapper Future. We unpack the debate. Over in the UK, families are now eligible for 30 hours of free childcare per week — a major win for working parents. So why is Florida trying to eliminate all vaccine requirements for kids? We discuss the contrast. Tune in for the hot takes, the real talk, and the questions nobody else is asking. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod  

Hey Friends it's Carla! Welcome back to another episode of So What Now?  Let's get right into this week's wild ride! So Bella Thorne hopped on IG sharing that she proposed to her fiancé… after he already did it first. I’m sorry, what?? Nah. Ya’ll know I have thoughts (spoiler: I am not out here getting on one knee, let’s be so serious). And of course, Dex went off on one of her classic rants. This time about how some things are strictly “for men.” Like proposing. Like budgeting. Like… anything that feels like work. According to her, we deserve to live soft, fun, budget-free lives and honestly? She might be onto something. Then we slid into the listener letters, and babyyyy  it got spicy. We heard from a teacher who’s also on OF. She’s tryna decide if she should quit her 9-to-5 and go full-time as a spicy girl. You know we had to weigh in. But somehow that convo took a sharp left turn into us telling our embarrassing secrets  and yes, both of ours happened on cruise ships. Don’t ask, just press play. Grab your drink, your headphones, and your nosiest friend — this one's a wild ride!   CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

In this episode, we kick things off with the hidden cost of friendship — turns out, staying social could be costing you over $250 a month in brunches, happy hours, and birthday dinners. Then we get into dating finances, where new data shows men are spending $15,000 more per year in relationships, largely driven by lingering provider expectations. How much is your man spending on you?  Dex brings us a shocking story out of Brooklyn: a man lost his fully paid-off $800K home over a $5K water bill. She also shares a personal horror story about the hidden traps and predatory fines cities can hit you with as a property owner. Carla wraps things up with the story of Khloé Kardashian stepping in as primary caregiver for Tristan Thompson’s younger brother, Amari. While Carla sees it as a generous act of love, Dex questions whether it’s just another chapter in Khloé’s inability to let go of Tristan. Whether you’re here for the facts, the feels, or the side-eye — we’ve got you covered. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

This week on So What Now?, I kicked things off with a few thoughts on all the buzz surrounding the Woman Evolve conference and shared a little bit about what the experience was like for me personally. We also wanted to catch up with y’all, so we took some time to dig into a couple of listener letters because let’s be honest, our inbox is overflowing and these topics deserved some attention. One letter came from someone feeling the heat from her mom to get married ASAP, and we talked about how to honor your own timeline without blowing up the family cookout. The other came from a woman who’s thriving solo, but keeps getting told she’s “too independent” to be dateable. We unpacked the difference between being self-sufficient and emotionally unavailable, and how to leave room for love without shrinking yourself. And then we heard from someone whose ex just won’t let go still liking her posts, sending memes, and dropping “I miss us” texts every week. We got into why men do this, how to set real boundaries, and why sometimes, hitting that block button isn’t petty it’s necessary. As always, we kept it real, gave our best advice and honestly, who needs a therapist when you’ve got me and Dex? LOL.   CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

This week, Dex came in hot with the age-old(and honestly, exhausting) question: Are you wife material? We broke down a xoNecole article where 10 men shared what makes a woman “wife” vs. “girlfriend” material and whew, some of these takes had me raising eyebrows and clenching my pearls. From emotional maturity to splitting bills to being “referred” like a LinkedIn job post, we had plenty to say. Spoiler alert: Dex absolutely flunked the wifey quiz. 😂 Then we had to pivot to check in with my mommas, because back-to-school season is no joke. We discussed another article that reminded me how vital it is for Black women to prioritize ourselves especially when we’re constantly expected to carry everyone else. Trusting others, knowing your limits, setting boundaries, and redefining self-care as non-negotiable? We’re leaning into all of that. This episode is part therapy, part side-eye, and 100% necessary.   CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

This week, me, and Carla are comparing social media timelines and realizing just how differently our algorithms are built. Mine? Full of the usual celeb mess. Carla’s? Somehow led us into a convo about butt sniffers. I’m still recovering. We get into the age-gap dating buzz between Karrueche Tran (37) and Deion Sanders (57)—is there a cutoff age where nobody cares anymore, or are we still side-eyeing big gaps? Then we talk about Kamala Harris—she's not running for California Governor, which has me wondering: is she over America or early 2028 presidential plotting? And per usual Carla and I have a heated disagreement: Traci Ellis Ross said she’s traveling without underwear to save space. What?? Panties take up no room. Carla’s out here defending it, talking about washing them in the sink. I said what I said: the math ain't mathing. Tune in for timeline chaos, political tea, and way too much talk about butts.    CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

This week on So What Now, we unpack a viral TikTok that challenges the usual checklist for choosing a partner. Sure, faith, finances, and fitness are great—but what about the ability to suffer well? Life will get messy, and having someone who doesn’t fall apart in the chaos might just be the most underrated trait of all. Dex keeps it real and admits she’s not built for bedside caregiving—she’ll cut the check, but don’t look for soup and soft words. And if she ever becomes the one in need? Her motto is simple: just take her out! Things take a turn when we discuss the woman who found out her husband’s ex hacked their home security system and watched over 44,000 minutes of footage. Dex is baffled at how anyone has that kind of time, while Carla confesses she might’ve been one click away from doing the same. We also tap into the rising trend of “poly-working”—people holding down two full-time jobs, often powered by AI. Carla’s here for it (shoutout to her ADHD superpowers), but Dex is barely making it through one job. Speaking of jobs, Carla shares a little about her short-lived corporate career and the moment it ended with a good ol’ fashioned workplace fight. Yes, hands were thrown. You definitely want to hear this one. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod

Whew—y’all, we’re back! After dodging studio bookings like TSA lines, we finally made it back to High Hello Labs, and babyyy... we’ve got a lot to catch up on. Dex is officially 41 (but giving 25), and Carla shares how TSA Cares and Psalm’s amazing therapy team helped him prep for his big NYC takeover. 💪🏾 We’re talking legacy—but not the money kind—getting older (and finer), and how one Coldplay kiss cam moment exposed way more than expected. 👀 Oh, and yes, we go there: abortion debates, Shannon Sharpe’s hush-hush settlement, and what happens when a CEO gets caught up on camera... with someone who ain’t his wife. Plus, Barack and Michelle tap in with some parenting wisdom (we know they be listening 👋🏾).   In This Episode: Dexty’s birthday, surprise cake, and getting emotionally wrecked in the Delta lounge 🍰 Psalm’s flying glow-up and why TSA Cares is that girl ✈️ Why posting content could be your ticket to Bali (or at least brunch) The Coldplay concert scandal that cost a CEO his job 👔 Carla vs. the Internet: abortion takes, Twitter fingers, and curly-haired chaos 🥴 Shannon Sharpe’s “retirement plan” for his OnlyFans accuser 💰 Barack + Michelle’s parenting gems and why boys need more than one male role model   Keep Up With Us: 🗣️ Join the convo @sowhatnowpod 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube 🎧 Subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast app 📩 Got a messy work story or a petty win? Slide in our DMs or email us!  

Hey Besties We’re back! and it’s giving unfiltered chaos (per usual). 😅 This week’s episode is straight from the living room while Carla gets her hair done and Dex debates washing hers (it’s been 16 days, send help). The kids are in the background, the vibes are real, and the convos? Whew. We’re talking: The Bali Challenge: Carla told Dex if she posts 31 Reels in August, she’s going to Bali for free. Now she’s on the gram like her life depends on it. Plastic surgery for men?! Abs, arms, hairlines, do what you want… just don’t tell us about it. Do you really tell your friends when their weight is getting outta hand? Or mind your business? Ashanti and Nelly’s show has us stressed. Is she a married single mom now?! Listener Letter: She’s married with a “good man”… but can’t stop thinking about the one that got away. What should she do? And a DM asking for dating advice after loss—Dex gives the play-by-play on building a roster safely while healing. It’s raw. It’s ridiculous. It’s us. Press play, laugh with us, and maybe send this to a friend who needs to stop replying to “Hey stranger” texts. 😩 xx - Carla   CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL: 📱 IG: @thesowhatnowpodcast 📱 TikTok: @thesowhatnowpod 🎙 Wanna advertise with us? Click here

Hey Bestie, We’re back! Listen… jetlag and schedule conflics are real. This week’s episode is a catch-up at the house. I just got back from Bali, had a full-blown spiritual awakening (yes, there were tears in the ocean), and maybe met the love of my life… but he said he’s not coming back to America soooo that’s that. 😅 Dex has been going through it too. When it rains, it pours, okay? She took a little break from social because the doom scroll had her in a chokehold. She opens up about that, plus her quick lil’ Miami trip where she gave out her number… but did anything come of it? 👀 We also read a letter from a listener who feels stuck in a “content” life. Not bad, not great—just… meh. She wants more but feels guilty for wanting it. We unpack that, too. It’s raw, it’s real, it’s us. We missed y’all. Hit play. xx Carla Wilmaris   CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesowhatnowpod 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: https://www.sowhatnowpod.com/   Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most Your support keeps this going—and we read every word. Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and Idea to Launch Productions. Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen. Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → Take the course now → Book a clarity call and get personal strategy support Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 [email protected] We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.