Ep 452 - Cat

The mid-nineties were a time of powerful transformation, self-discovery, and healing for Cat. After getting sober, she had a bit of a reckoning with her sexuality, first thinking she was a lesbian before realizing she was pansexual while at the same time discovering the world of kink and BDSM. She's now been exploring some form of non-monogamy for over 30 years and today she shares her incredible journey with us. Cat is a transformative leader in the kink, BDSM, and leather communities, with 30+ years of experience, mentorship and advocacy. Alongside partners Joshua and Natalie, she earned the 2025 Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, celebrating her innovative approach to power dynamics as a tool for empowerment. Her journey began in San Francisco’s leather scene, where early mentorship ignited her passion for community building and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective, educator, and counselor, she bridges kink with personal development, healing around trauma and grief, and sexual wellness. Rooted in honesty, integrity, and transparency, Cat creates spaces where people are seen, valued, and empowered—whether exploring identity, grief, recovery or desire. Her work proves that profound healing happens when we dare to own our stories. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this beautiful interview with Joshua he shares how his family, culture, and upbringing helped shape his ideas and approach to masculinity, sex, power, and intimacy. As he describes it, he was a habitual cheater who was seeking "power over" in his partnerships and the pattern was subconscious until he met his partner Cat, and everything started to change. Joshua’s story is a powerful reminder that our pasts don't define who we are today, and that we all hold the power to heal and repair ourselves, and our relationships. Joshua is a facilitator, educator, and advocate empowering individuals through self-discovery and intentional relationships. With 15+ years of experience, he guides people—especially men—in navigating modern masculinity, sexuality, and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective with his partner Cat, he designs programming that fosters confidence and authentic connection. In 2025, their work with partner Mistress Natalie earned them the Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, honoring their innovative use of power dynamics for empowerment. Based in East Harlem, Joshua curates transformative experiences at The Sanctuary, a community space in his childhood neighborhood dedicated to identity, relationships, and conscious evolution. Their philosophy, “People Before Kink” drives his mission: equipping individuals with the tools to build self-authored, fulfilling lives. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sonia and Gabe were originally on the podcast back on Episode 193 and today we have the honor of having them back to talk about how their partnership has shifted and grown since then. Sonia and Gabe have been together for over two decades and a few years ago they intentionally removed the sexual component of their relationship. In our beautiful conversation today they share how they reached their decision and how they continue to deepen their connection, intimacy and commitment to one another without relying on sex. This conversation is really powerful and vulnerable and we hope you get as much from it as we did. Gabriel is also the director of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign wrapped up back in 2021 and they've spent the last few years creating a pitch-pilot and it is incredible! You can check it out over at welcometokinkyville.com! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sonia and Gabriel have been together for over 19 years and have been practicing polyamory for about 10 years. They have a refreshingly honest conversation with us about where they are, how they've grown along the way, and the learning experiences that have brought them here. We also talk about what being queer and kinky (or not) means to both of them. We love this interview and hope you do as well.   Gabriel is also the director, producer, and editor of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign started on August 10... Check it out, spread the word, and help us in supporting this type of amazing work!   Check out the full show notes here. Join Our Patreon Community! $10 Off - Online STI Testing https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/  

We'll be back soon! 😘

Kalah has lived a life full of incredible experiences, partners, and adventures as well as a life full of love, intimacy, and pleasure… And she just turned 40 last year! While our conversation today definitely has plenty of wild and fantastical stories, Kalah’s whole journey is really all about love. Yes, it’s about loving others, but perhaps more importantly, it’s about figuring out what we want in life, following our own pleasure, being open to what life has to offer, and loving ourselves unconditionally.  Kalah has brought her ethic of love into her professional work, as well. As the founder of In Love We Trust, Kalah works with people who have mastered everything except peace in intimacy. Her clients are brave, full of love, ready to examine the patterns that keep them from being truly met, and willing to build relationships that honor their wholeness. She is a keeper of a human pleasure lineage - remembering that our pleasure is sovereign, that desire is wisdom, and that erotic energy is life force itself. Kalah is an alchemist of intimacy. She offers devoted witnessing, sacred discretion, and transformational containers - reimagined for liberation and love.  Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Naomi woke up to the fact that she’s polyamorous a few years ago, but looking back on her life she realizes polyamory is actually part of her identity and now everything makes so much more sense. Over the last few years Naomi and her husband have had to completely reinvent their entire relationship together to create something that works for both of them. Today, Naomi lives with her husband and her boyfriend, but it’s not quite that simple… Naomi is polyamorous while her husband considers himself monogamous and has another partner of his own. How do they do it? Join us today to find out! Naomi is also a life coach and has created a community dedicated to empowering polyamorous folks to create resilient relationships rooted in trust, connection, and freedom. You can find links to Naomi’s work on her Instagram! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this fascinating interview, Ryan seamlessly weaves together his own personal journey with his work and research as he shares the origins of his expertise: three life-altering non-monogamous partnerships. One ended abruptly, triggering a severe depression that ultimately led him to recognize this work as his true calling. Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond. Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023. Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Glory had a bit of experience with non-monogamy before getting married to her best friend back in 2005. After getting together they were monogamous until 2017 when they slowly began opening their relationship after starting to explore a bit of kink and Shibari. Since then, they’ve been figuring out what works best for them as individuals and as partners. This interview with Glory is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Glory spent her twenties trying to navigate life, love, sex, and relationships with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and as a result she was the victim of some horrific and traumatic experiences. Her resiliency, compassion, and way of loving unconditionally shine throughout the interview and are an inspiration. Please be aware that our conversation today may be triggering for some. Glory talks about her experiences with bipolar, PTSD, being raped, being sexually assaulted, and losing a close friend to suicide. She shares with us that telling her story publicly was part of her healing journey and we’re honored and grateful to be part of it. We also feel that sharing these stories is healing, empowering, and de-stigmatizing for anyone who hears them. We hope this conversation moves you as much as it did us. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Join us for this incredible conversation as Reid shares his personal origin story of becoming the queer polyamorous slut that he is today. He also takes us behind the scenes into his journey of becoming a sex educator, and how his work was often inspired by his own need to learn and figure out how to do sex and relationships in a better way. And… Along the way we uncover a ton of tips, tricks, and wisdom that Reid has learned over the years and how he uses the tools he teaches to improve his own life and relationships.  As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information.  In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes. Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages. Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing