Ep 332 - Jules

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about how to persevere when it feels like it's been hard for a while AND what information is ours to share about our partners and how do we do it in a way that feels good for them. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!   Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing  

Megan and Brett have been together for over 18 years and have been married for over 13. The idea of non-monogamy marinated in the background of their relationship for many years before they sort of both leaned into it around the same time a few years ago. They opened their relationship in a slow and calculated way and now find themselves in the beautiful grey area where they're a little too swingery for the polyamorous people, a little too polyamorous for the swinging community, a bit too kinky to consider themselves vanilla, and a bit too vanilla to call themselves kinky! Today, they take us on their beautiful journey of growing together though both the great times and the more challenging ones. Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Kat is a polyamorous queer woman in her mid-thirties who has been pushing against the status quo her whole life as she strives to be her authentic self and live a life full of joy. Kat grew up in the Baptist Church and had even taken a vow of chastity when she was 14. Also, things aren't quite that straightforward... Her first make-out session was with a group of friends before they all went to the movies in high school, she came out to her mom as bisexual when she was 16, and her first time having sex was in a threesome while living in Europe. So, perhaps the norms aren't a good fit for everyone? Kat has truly lived a life of adventure. She's lived all over the world and explored a wide range of relationship styles from monogamy to various forms of non-monogamy and kink. Kat is also an LGBTQIA+, kink, and non-monogamy-affirmative therapist who provides online therapy for adults, romantic partners, and chosen family. She specializes in empowering people to work through shame, anxiety, depression, ADHD, coming out, and relational issues. You can learn more about Kat and how to work with her by clicking here! Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Mara and Mike have been together for almost 25 years and married for almost 20 of them... They've also been in some form of an open relationship pretty much the entire time. Lucky for us, they've organized their relationship into six phases! They walk us through each phase as they share all of the different ways they've related to one another and with themselves. We cover everything from their early days of swinging, the challenging duality of being a professional and a parent while also being adventurous and slutty, processing shame, and adapting their relationship and communication styles to better fit who they are as a team, and as individuals. We're excited to share this beautiful journey with you and we hope you enjoy it! Check out the full show notes here. Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We are so excited to have Dr. Evelin Dacker back after more than four years... And this time, she's here to tell her incredibly powerful personal story! Dr. Dacker takes us on her journey of self-discovery over the course of more than three decades of being in relationships. She remembers having compersion from a very young age, even if she didn't have the words for it, and she's always felt like she was non-monogamous. Yet, like many, she got swept off her feet and into a 20-year detour of monogamy. Then, in her mid-forties, she joined a roller derby team and made a very intentional decision to shift her life and relationship in an effort to not completely lose her sexuality... From her website www.evelindacker.com : I am a Mexican-American, bicultural, bilingual, trauma-informed,  Integrative Family Physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. My unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness. In addition to practicing medicine, I specialize in teaching a sex positive approach to sexually transmitted disease,  am the creator of the STARS Talk framework for intimacy communication, and work toward incorporating sexuality into primary care through educating health care providers on sex-positivity. In addition, I hold workshops on consent and sexual communication geared toward young adults to help reduce sexual assault on college campuses. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Romi has always been an insatiably curious person who questions the status quo. This combination has led him to a life full of incredible adventures and human connection. Romi describes the first decade of his marriage as "monogamous, yet adventurous..." and he takes us along for the ride as he tells his powerful story of self-discovery. Today, he's a father with multiple deep partnerships and is in a polyamorous marriage. Not only does Romi live a life of adventure for himself, he's also dedicated his career to helping provide spaces for people to explore who they are. This led to the creation of SoulPlay! SoulPlay aspires to create a world where every individual is celebrated. Where unique desires and needs are acceptable. Where people can be free to be themselves, express themselves, and interact in a way that feels nourishing to them without fear of judgement or shame. SoulPlay 2024 is June 6-16 and you can learn more and get your tickets at www.soulplay.co. See you there!! Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about balancing breaking up with one partner while being madly in love with another AND what things should be considered when deciding whether or not to be more "out" about being non-monogamous. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.   Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing  

Jules has explored a variety of relationship styles in her life and her preference would be to be non-monogamous. Yet, she has very intentionally chosen a monogamous life and partnership with her husband. We have an incredibly powerful conversation about the unavoidable grief that comes with nearly every choice we make in life. Jules also weaves her story with so many amazing communication and relationship tools. Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP, is a therapist, author, and teacher who is creating spaces where people can move into more self-compassion, self-trust, empowerment, and integrity. She regularly teaches and speaks to people from all around the world and translates new understandings in neurobiology into practices that can support brain change. She came into the therapy world as a client who argued that feelings didn’t matter only to find herself all these years later having followed neuroscience to the obvious conclusion: we are really feeling and meaning making beings driven by our interdependence. She believes that embracing that reality is key to finding purpose and deep joy. She is the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected and Empowered. She is an associate Instructor with the Coherence Institute and a core faculty member with Therapy Wisdom. She lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Adam, their daughter, Stella, and their rescue pointer mix, Layla. When she isn’t thinking about therapy or reading the latest neurobiology research, she can be found watching the British Baking Show while creating art shoes for her dear friends. Find all of Jules' work, books, and podcast on her website www.julianetaylorshore.com. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Nikita grew up in India and came to the US about seven years ago when she was 19. As she began to embrace her queerness she started learning about new relationship structures and ultimately found non-monogamy through the kink scene in New York City. For the past few years she has been exploring solo polyamory and shares with us her beautiful, powerful, and challenging journey. For her, being non-monogamous is part of her identity and she sees it as an extension of her queerness. Nikita is also a community organizer, psychotherapist, and sex therapist based in NYC. Her website does a much better job of capturing the power of her work and who she is than we ever could. Please check out her bio below and visit her website for all of her incredible work. From Nikita's Website: I am a Mental Health Therapist-LP and Sex Therapist based in New York City. I graduated with my Master’s in Counseling in Mental Health and Wellness and a dual degree in LGBT Health, Education, and Social Services from New York University. I also hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology with a background in Women and Gender Studies from George Mason University. I identify as a queer South Asian immigrant woman. I’m also neurodivergent and non-monogamous. Aside from being a therapist, I have volunteered as a crisis counselor for the Trevor Project, worked as a graduate assistant for the New York University LGBTQ+ Center, and helped in the planning of social justice conferences. I have worked towards being a therapist for many years now and it is my greatest honor to arrive where I am. I grew up in Bangalore, a city in India where access to mental healthcare was limited and heavily stigmatized. We didn’t really talk about sex at all and the patriarchal culture often made it unsafe to embody our sexual selves. During my young adult years in Bangalore, I struggled to find a counselor who had a background in LGBTQ issues. The counselor that I talked to put me in a one size fits all box, bound by a traditional conception of heteronormative binary identities. The services I received seemed ingenuine and I felt alone. The counselor failed to understand the challenges that are faced by a queer woman in a conservative country. At that moment, a strong desire to uplift people who feel confused and alone was born. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jill and Jack are back and this conversation is so powerful! This interview stands on its own. You do not need to have listened to their first episode to get a ton out of this conversation. Their initial interview on Episode 97 was less than a year into their non-monogamous adventure together. They have spent the last four years doing absolutely mind-blowing work on themselves and their partnership. Today, they share how they have arrived in the best place they've ever been. Spoiler alert: It was a LOT of hard work! Jill and Jack have been married for over 22 years and open for about the last five. They come from a deeply religious background and are former Mennonites who made a pitstop as Baptists on their way out of organized religion about a decade ago. Their initial entry into non-monogamy came during the aftermath of Jack getting happy-ending massages while he was still a Deacon in the Baptist church. They go into much more detail, but the very short version is that Jill was like "Okay... No more lying. We're a team. And by the way, I want to know if other guys want me as well!" Today we get behind the scenes on how they worked together to improve their communication, came through another infidelity, overcame decades of resentment, smoothed out their gas and brake pattern, and are finding ways to be in the moment and enjoy life together. Seriously, don't skip it. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing