Let's Not Decide Who Kids Are Before They Do

Imagine this: You walk into work on a normal Tuesday, coffee in hand, only to be called into an emergency all-hands meeting. Your division is being dissolved.Or perhaps your phone alerts you to another presidential directive that threatens your livelihood or community.Or a routine doctor’s visit turns into a life-altering diagnosis, and treatments and medical appointments take the place of canceled plans.Or you stare at the remains of your home after a natural disaster tore through your region.In an instant, everything changes. Your carefully laid plans evaporate. The future becomes a blur. Your brain, in its protective wisdom, either goes into overdrive or shuts down completely.These scenarios have become increasingly common. When radical change strikes, most of us experience the sensation of having the rug pulled out from under us—whether through job loss, natural disaster, or events beyond our control.When our world transforms abruptly, our brains shift into survival mode, triggering the fight-or-flight response. While this reaction evolved to address immediate threats, it becomes problematic during extended periods of uncertainty, taking a significant physical toll. Research on “the selfish brain” reveals that our nervous system, attempting to minimize uncertainty, prioritizes energy flow to itself at the expense of the rest of the body, reducing oxygen and glucose delivery elsewhere.But when our instincts push us toward panic or paralysis, what actions should we take instead? Behavioral science offers a path from overwhelm to stability.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: Finding Your Footing When The Ground Shifts Beneath You ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: ⁠⁠http://www.nirandfar.com/

Your beliefs are tools, not truths.In 2006, U.S. Team freestyle skier Michelle Roark zoomed down the slope at her first Olympics, conquering hilly terrain that not even a 4×4 could handle. At 31, she was already years older than the average Olympic freestyle skier (24 years old at the time). She had fought through massive obstacles for half her life to get there.Roark was kicked out of her mother’s house when she was 15 and spent the next three years living in a tent in Winter Park, Colorado. She worked three jobs to support herself. At 16, she qualified for the Olympics but sustained a knee injury that kept her out of the 1994 Olympics. Two more serious knee injuries, each right before the Olympic Games in 1998 and 2002, prevented her from competing. At one point, a coach told her she was never going to make it to the Games.But Roark knew what she wanted, believed she was capable of it, and refused to quit. She used the rehab time after her second knee surgery to pursue a degree in chemical engineering, which she eventually used to launch a business that she continues to run today. She competed in the 2010 Olympics at the age of 35.Belief is one of the most powerful forces in our lives. Roark’s unflagging belief that she could be an Olympian brought that goal to fruition. In her mind, her Olympic future was inevitable.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: Unlock Your Potential With The Power Of Belief ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: ⁠⁠http://www.nirandfar.com/

In the opening shot of the music video for “Throw Some Ass,” the camera scans a clinical white sign: “Sofi Tukker Center for Asses That Don’t Move Good.” Inside the mock hospital, a heart monitor flatlines—until the beat drops. Suddenly, the music video erupts into a NSFW riot of sensual movement. To fans, the song is a catchy ode to booty shaking, but to Sophie Hawley-Weld, one half of electronic music duo Sofi Tukker, it was a revelation of her journey through chronic pain and the power of the mind.In 2018, Sophie and Tucker Halpern were in the middle of a whirlwind year—releasing their first (later Grammy-nominated) album, launching their own record label, and headlining tours—when Sophie began to have chronic migraines.“We were full-time touring … there was so much happening,” Sophie explained on the podcast Like Mind, Like Body. “We were going out five nights a week. We were traveling way crazier than we are now … Because our career was so new, we said yes to every opportunity, and it put our bodies through a strain. I didn’t do the simple things as well, like take a walk and go get sunlight, all these things I’ve learned how to do since this [pain]. So my body was really confused.”For the next year and a half, Sophie endured debilitating chronic migraines that forced her to retreat to dark rooms. “I was having to cancel shows, and nothing was working.”Later, back pain created a destructive cycle when traditional medical approaches failed. She tried every drug and treatment she could find, but they didn’t work. Doctors recommended cortisone injections for her back, which only intensified her fear and worsened her condition—a phenomenon well-documented in pain studies.As a performing artist, her inability to move without pain didn’t just affect her health; it jeopardized her thriving career.Yet today, Sophie has been nearly pain-free for almost seven months. How did she get there?You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: The Pain Paradox: How Fear of Pain Creates More Pain ⁠here⁠.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: ⁠http://www.nirandfar.com/

The true joy of parenthood lies in watching our children unfold into their authentic selves. Week by week, month by month, year by year, they evolve into increasingly complex human beings with their own preferences, talents, and perspectives. Yet in our eagerness to know them—and as a natural result of our constant proximity—we often fall into the trap of assigning fixed identities to them prematurely.As humans, we instinctively categorize and label the world around us. But when applied to developing children, this tendency can be not just unfair but actively harmful to their growth potential.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: Let's Not Decide Who Kids Are Before They Do here.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with friends and readers who feel stuck in jobs that don’t fulfill them. They’re not necessarily in toxic work environments or dealing with poor treatment (although that happens too—it’s the main cause of dissatisfaction at work). More often, they’re simply bored, feel undervalued, or think their work doesn’t matter.They’re not alone. A 2024 Gallup report found that 62 percent of people globally are not engaged at work, and another 15 percent are actively disengaged. That means nearly 8 in 10 people feel checked out while on the clock.Our job enables us to provide for ourselves and our families, but that can make us feel all the more shackled to a work situation that makes us miserable or unfulfilled. Are we meant to suck it up? Do we just have to accept the fact that not everyone gets to have a fulfilling job?No. Even when your job doesn’t seem meaningful, you can still create meaning. Fulfillment doesn’t have to be something your job gives you. It can be something you bring to your job.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: How to Find Fulfillment When Your Job Doesn’t Provide It here.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

That flutter of excitement when someone likes your post. The warm glow after your boss praises your presentation. The slight panic when your work receives criticism instead of praise. Sound familiar?We've all been conditioned to seek approval from our families, friends, and bosses before taking action. But here's the uncomfortable truth: we'll never live on our own terms if we live by external validation."For those with high need for approval, their self-esteem is correlated with how positively they believe others perceive them," concluded researchers in one study. This dependency creates a psychological trap where your sense of worth becomes hostage to others' opinions—opinions that are fickle, subjective, and completely beyond your control.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: Why Seeking Approval is Killing Your Potential here.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

Timeboxing is the most powerful time-management technique. However, there is no one way to timebox. Some people keep the same schedule every week and review it on Sundays. Others change their timeboxed calendar daily and review it the night before.Some people use a spreadsheet in 30 or 15-minute increments, others use Google Calendar, and others use one of the many timeboxing apps available.This step-by-step guide, plus timeboxing examples from real people, will help you figure out what timeboxing looks like for you.Remember: No productivity technique is effective and easy. It’s going to be effective and hard. Nothing will magically solve time management without some effort.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: How Successful People Timebox here.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

Have you ever cringed while showering, suddenly remembering something embarrassing you said years ago? That memory still feels so fresh, so real—but what if I told you it might be entirely distorted?We navigate life believing our memories are faithful recordings of the past. We replay conversations with crystal-clear certainty, convinced that what we remember is exactly what happened. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: our brains are unreliable narrators.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: Stop Gaslighting Yourself: Why Your Memory Isn’t as Reliable as You Think here.Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

This guest post is by Jenny Wood, a former Google executive who led one of the company’s biggest career programs, helping thousands take charge of their professional growth. Her new book, Wild Courage: Go After What You Want and Get It, is a bold guide to standing out and getting ahead by embracing 9 unexpected traits.Most professionals don’t struggle with time management. They struggle with people-pleasing.From an early age, we’re conditioned to say “yes.” Yes to additional responsibilities. Yes to impromptu meetings. Yes to anything that signals we’re cooperative team players. But this automatic response creates a significant dilemma: every time we say yes to something inessential, we’re implicitly saying no to work that actually matters.As Nir Eyal points out in Indistractable, if you don’t take control of your time, someone else will.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: https://www.nirandfar.com/protect-your-focus/Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/

Kids are suffering. In the United States, 13 percent of three- to 17-year-olds had a mental or behavioral health diagnosis. That number climbs to 20.3 percent among teens aged 12 to 17 (as of 2023). Globally, 15 percent of 10- to 19-year-olds have a mental health disorder.You’re right in thinking it hasn’t always been like this. There’s been a sharp spike in recent years—even before the COVID-19 pandemic’s contribution. Between 2012 and 2018, there was a 34.6 percent increase in child mental illness. ADHD, anxiety, depression, and behavior/conduct problems are the most common conditions afflicting youth. Diagnoses of depression in children aged 3 to 17 grew 27 percent from 2016 to 2020.Parents and teachers often blame social media for rising teen depression rates. But many studies show only a correlation between the two (and a low one at that), not causation. It’s just as or more likely that kids experiencing poor family dynamics, a lack of autonomy, academic pressures, or other issues find solace and distraction in excessive social media use. Too much tech use is a symptom of a deeper problem, not the sole cause.As mental health diagnoses surge, so does the reliance on therapy and medication. While these interventions can be helpful, they are reactive rather than preventive. To support children’s mental health, we need to focus on one of the root causes.But what exactly about modern childhood environments is making kids so unhappy? The answer lies in understanding the stark gap between what children need psychologically and what their daily lives actually provide.You can read the Nir And Far blog post on: https://www.nirandfar.com/kids-mental-health-crisis/Nir And Far, a podcast about business, behaviour and the brain by Nir Eyal. If you enjoy this podcast, please subscribe on iTunes and leave an iTunes review. It will greatly help new listeners discover the show. Please visit my website Nir and Far for other info about my writing, books and teaching: http://www.nirandfar.com/