92: Part 2 - The Transformative Power of Conflict Resolution with Your Teen

As parents we all want to see our kids grow into capable, strong, individuals who can lead themselves and others with purpose. In this podcast, we explore actionable steps that parents can take to nurture the leader within their teen. Joining us today is Alan E. Nelson, Ed.D. who is a leadership development specialist, trainer, speaker, and Lecturer of Management at the Naval Postgraduate School (www.nps.edu). He previously taught at USC, UCI, LMU, and Pepperdine. Dr. Nelson founded KidLead Academy, the world’s first online course to train parents how to develop their child’s leadership potential (www.kidlead.com). He also founded LeadYoung Training Systems, designing organizational leadership curricula for 3-23-year-olds (www.LeadYoungTraining.com). He is the author of 40 books and over 200 articles on personal growth and leadership and the founder of KidLead Inc., a nonprofit focusing on young leader development. Alan has a doctorate (Ed.D.) in leadership from the University of San Diego. During the first half of his life, he was an entrepreneurial leader in the social sector. In midlife, he concluded that leadership development could have a better return on investment by focusing on leaders while they’re moldable, not moldy. Since 2008, Alan’s been a pioneer in young leader development, designing age-n-stage curricula for 3-23-year-olds. Dr. Nelson has traveled to a variety of countries to train people with his curricula, along with interacting with 1000s of preteens and teens, as part of his research. What can parents do to develop their child’s leadership potential? What are early indicators of leadership aptitude? Alan talks about key leadership qualities: persuasive, propelled, planner, power. Is a person born as a natural leader or can they develop into a leader? What are the benefits of developing your child’s leadership potential? How do parents inadvertently shut down their child’s leadership ability? Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://www.kidlead.com/ Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanenelson/ Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KidLeadAcademy/ Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC280RZ3neguOVOPHNLmVq2Q

Many of us know how stressful this time can be. One big challenge is to step back and let your teen take the lead. It’s natural to want to be involved in all stages of the admissions process to selecting the college, having a heavier hand in the student college application essays, etc. How do we as parents let go of those rigid expectations and meet our teen where they are at and what is best for them. Stacy Hernandez is a College Admissions Advisor and has been working on admissions since 1999. Stacy served as an Undergraduate Admissions Counselor at Johns Hopkins University and Northeastern University where she reviewed applications and recruited students around the country. Additionally, she has worked as a College Counselor in high schools in Colorado. In 2014, she opened an independent college admissions advising business called The Best U Admissions Advising where Stacy and her partners serve families from all over the world. Also, Stacy has transformational leadership coaching and intuitive background which allows her to support students to find their authenticity. Help parents understand how they are influencing their teens and how that can impact their ability to self-discover Show up in curiosity for your teen and ask the important questions, allowing them to find their own answers Often times, parent’s opinions are not helpful and can limit their teen’s ability to explore what they truly want Parents need to be aware of their own fears in letting their teen go Helping your teen determine what they want in a school, their non-negotiables, goals, and interests Meeting their teens where they are at Tips to find ease in this process The college admissions process, what colleges are looking for, and what it takes to get into certain schools. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Follow on Instagram Follow on Facebook Website: https://thebestu.net/ The Blog: https://thebestu.net/blogs/ 1-Month Free Membership: https://thebestu.net/membership/. Use code TBUWELCOME at checkout to receive your first month of TBU Membership free and register for the webinar at no additional cost.

Tim Moore is a Master Hypnotherapist and Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner who has helped people throughout the world break free from issues and limitations that prevent them from living their best, most fulfilling lives. In addition to his work in private practice as a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, Tim is also an author, speaker, and trainer of hypnotherapy through his Hypno-Mastery practitioner accreditation program. In this podcast for parents of teens, we delve into understanding and nurturing the subconscious mind to help address common challenges faced during adolescence. We'll explore how to identify and overcome limiting beliefs, combat negative self-image, and develop resilience against bullying, as well as how the subconscious mind can help them reach their academic goals and future potential. The goal is to equip you with the tools to support your teen's mental and emotional well-being, empowering them to build a positive self-image and lead a more fulfilling life. Join us as we uncover the power of the subconscious mind in transforming the teenage experience. How the mind changes the way it receives and stores information as we grow Through our actions and best intentions, we often limit our teen's personal growth The impact of what you say and how it can create limiting beliefs in your child/teen How the root cause of a limiting belief can be transformed into a positive experience The subconscious mind, the conscious mind, and willpower The effects of social media and technology in shaping beliefs Misconceptions of hypnosis and how it can transform your reality in profound ways How hypnotherapy is one of the most powerful tools to making change, but also one of the most misunderstood. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://www.mindoverthebody.com Email: [email protected] Free access to my mini course “Remove Self Doubt” (which would be good for both parents and teens): https://empowerment.mindoverthebody.com

Jon Mattleman received his B.A. from Clark University in 1978, and his MS in Counseling from the University of Hartford in 1981. Jon’s workshops and presentations are geared to give participants tools they can implement immediately, strategies that work with children and youth, and approaches which have proven to be critical to building healthy relationships. Jon frequently consults with schools, parent groups, mental health organizations, and in workplace settings regarding the issues of anxiety, stress, depression, suicide, parenting, and the emotional consequences of technology. Jon is a certified trainer in QPR Suicide Prevention and has worked with professionals in schools, with state organizations such as the Massachusetts Probation Department, as well as with hundreds of parents regarding self-harm and suicide prevention. Jon is best known for his talk “The Secret Life of Teens and Tweens” and has presented this to thousands of parents all over New England. Jon has appeared on numerous radio and television shows lending his expertise on anxiety, depression, suicide, teens, and parenting. When teenagers are giving their parents an attitude, how should they deal with that? Parents shouldn’t take an attitude from their teens personally. Be Patient. Never change your expectations of your teen, however you may need to change your timeline. Parents can practice giving themselves a time-out so they don’t say something they wish they could take back. What do you do if a kid gets in trouble, for example- smoking in the bathroom at school? What do you do when you learn that your son/daughter is having sex, do you confront them? “In the dark conversations” can be very effective when having challenging conversations as facial expressions can alter the outcome. Jon talks about a teen’s brain and what motivates them at different stages, and how to prepare and recognize these shifts. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://www.jonmattleman.com Twitter: https://x.com/Jonmattleman

Karleen Savage, Conflict resolution expert and certified hostage and crisis negotiator shares the tools that work during an argument with our teens. As a trailblazer in the realm of parent-teen relationships, Karleen Savage’s insights are not confined to theory, but are forged in the crucible of real-world challenges and triumphs as a parent herself, and from her experience navigating complex conflicts as a crisis negotiator.  As the creator of the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skill model that can be used to resolve any conflict, Karleen knows that peaceful and amicable resolution is possible. Karleen has been featured on MSNBC for her knowledge in hostage negotiation. She holds a Masters in Conflict Resolution & Negotiations, and she is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator. She has been married for more than 30 years and resides in Utah with her family. Universal skills that experts use to resolve conflict Curiosity when you and your teen don’t see eye to eye Attitude-how do you show up in conflict? Master listening-this is essential and Karleen shares how to master this Connection Reframing & phrasing: what are the words we’re using? Are you “holding” in the conversation? Over-arching philosophies: what do you want for your teen? How do you create that as a possibility in them? How to create parenting mantras and why it’s important? Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: KarleenSavage.com Free Download: Get a digital download of The Confident Teen Blueprint  

Rhonda Chadwick is a trained archivist who has written a book called “Secrets from the Stacks: an archivist reveals how to store, digitize, and preserve documents to create a family archive and leave a personal legacy. She has a dual MLIS/Archives Management and MA History degree. She is the owner of a personal history business called LenaSalina Legacy Preservation. The teenage years contain some of our best times that teens will want to preserve, but also, sometimes tragedy strikes and teens may be in a position to want to save items from a loved one who has left this life too soon. Save pictures in non-proprietary format such as jpegs and word documents in pdf. Relying on the cloud for storage can be risky as the data lives on their service. It’s best to back up everything using 3-2-1: two local options (computer & flash drive) and one off-site service (cloud). What do to with all the photos on your phone: Keep photos and documents that have enduring stories. It’s a great practice to go through your saved photos on a regular basis and delete what is not necessary to save. The digital world is unstable, so printing photos is still a great idea. Social media, email, and text messages can also be saved Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Email: [email protected] Website: LenaSalina.com Information provided by the Library of Congress: https://guides.loc.gov/family-history-for-kids/preservation https://digitalpreservation.gov/personalarchiving/

Jeannie Burlowski is a full-time academic strategist, podcast host, and speaker for students ages 12–26, their parents, and the professionals who serve them—and she is the author of the book LAUNCH: How to Get Your Kids Through College Debt-Free and Into Jobs They Love Afterward. Jeannie helps parents set their kids up to graduate college debt-free, ready to jump directly into careers they excel at and love. Her work has been featured in publications such as The Huffington Post, USA Today, Parents Magazine, and US News and World Report, and on CBS News. Most commonly known ways to pay for college: government loans, scholarships, and saving $ in advance. There are other options… Students can get a tuition reimbursement job while they’re in college. Jeannie shares lots of resources. It’s important for teens to figure out their strengths and interests while they’re in high school so they can begin to think about companies that offer tuition reimbursement. College is expensive-help your teen be as prepared as possible for what they want to study. Jeannie’s research indicates that 48% of kids who take an AP class in high school do not end up getting college credit for it. Real college classes in high school for real college credit: these are called - Dual enrollment and concurrent enrollment. Typically, the state pays for these classes and all of the material and books. Jeannie shares tips and ideas to help teens create a savings plan that works long-term. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: JeannieBurlowski.com. Article: Got a College-Bound Teen? AP Classes in High School May Not Be His or Her Best Option Article: Got a Teen Headed to College? Here's Why a State University May Not Be Your Bargain Option Article: Does Elite Education Lead to a Happier Life? What Does the Research Say?

Jill Grimes, MD, is a board-certified family physician who specializes in college health. She is a nationally recognized medical media expert & author of award-winning book, “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness”. Teen & college age partying is NOT what parents remember! Beer (with perhaps, worst case, beer bongs) have given way to successive vodka shots and intentional “blackout” drinking, and the mellow “Cheech N Chong” joint sharing version of “pot” is a far cry from today’s high THC concentration “weed”. Dr. Grimes shares the inside scoop about the medical challenges and risks of today’s party culture. Late middle school and early high school is when you want to begin talking with your teen about managing their health care. If they take medication, schedule a weekly time to work with them on filling a pill organizer so they are prepared. Dr. Jill covers what your teen will need when filling out their own medical forms. Talk with your teen about the process and help them gather information they’ll need so they are prepared when they’re on their own. Hear from Dr. Jill on the most common illness and medical concerns that your teen may encounter, and how they can be prepared to get the help they need. About inking, Teens can get a temporary tattoo and live with that for a week to see how they feel about it before getting the real deal. Learn how to empower your teen to have a successful conversation with their doctor to be sure their needs are being addressed in the time given, and how to handle medication that’s prescribed: cost, side-effects, if they don’t feel better, etc. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://jillgrimesmd.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@TikTok.CollegeDoc Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillgrimesmd Purchase the Book on Amazon: The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness

Karleen Savage, Conflict resolution expert and certified hostage and crisis negotiator shares the tools that work during an argument with our teens. As a trailblazer in the realm of parent-teen relationships, Karleen Savage’s insights are not confined to theory, but are forged in the crucible of real-world challenges and triumphs as a parent herself, and from her experience navigating complex conflicts as a crisis negotiator. As the creator of the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skill model that can be used to resolve any conflict, Karleen knows that peaceful and amicable resolution is possible. Karleen has been featured on MSNBC for her knowledge in hostage negotiation. She holds a Masters in Conflict Resolution & Negotiations, and she is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator. She has been married for more than 30 years and resides in Utah with her family. Embracing Genuine Curiosity When You and Your Teen Don’t See Eye to Eye Are we listening in a way to learn from our teens? As our kids grow older, we shift as having control to being along side them as a partnership. Attitude-be careful not to solve your teen’s problems and challenges. Become a master listener – Karleen shares a blueprint of how to do this effectively. Parents need to have only a few rules, and they need to stick to them. Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://www.karleensavage.com/ Free Digital Book: https://www.karleensavage.com/parents 

A former middle school English teacher and parent of two, Emily Cherkin, MEd., The Screentime Consultant, witnessed the simultaneous rise of technology use for school, and smartphone and social media use for kids. Today, Emily consults with parents, offers school presentations and professional development training, and writes about parenting and screentime to bring her tech-intentional approach to as many people as possible. Emily’s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, The Today Show (twice), the BBC, Good Morning America, and more. Chuck Norris has quoted her. Emily is also a co-founder of The Student Data Privacy Project, an activism group dedicated to pushing back on excessive EdTech and screens in schools. Emily's book "The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family" is an Amazon bestseller and available everywhere books are sold. What does it mean to be “tech-intentional”? Why don’t you recommend parental controls, and what do you recommend instead? Would you give your 11 yr. old keys to the car? To get a drivers license, it’s a process of learning, it doesn’t happen right away. It should be the same way in teaching your kids about safe and respectful social media engagement. Be careful about your teen’s use of apps and games. They are focused on hooking the watcher and keeping their attention, and on selling. Teens can feel judged about what they’re engaging in; be curious instead of judgmental when asking teen’s about what they’re plugged into. Be aware as parents of how predators seek out victims on social media and have these conversations with your teens. Parents often buy a phone for their teen to keep them safe, and yet it’s opens the teen up to other dangers like bullying, mental health concerns, predators, etc. At the end of the day, we want our kids to be safe and we want to protect them. Ask yourself: Do I know what my child is doing online? Do I have a good relationship with my child so we can keep the line of communication open? Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://www.thescreentimeconsultant.com Book Order: https://www.amazon.com/Screentime-Solution-Judgment-Free-Becoming-Tech-Intentional/dp/B0CB9JS5KB/ Instagram: @thescreentimeconsultant LinkedIn: @emily-cherkin Facebook: @thescreentimeconsultant Youtube: @thescreentimeconsultantllc6072 Twitter/X: @ScreentimeLllc