276: Virginia Tapscott on Why All Mothers Work and Why It’s Time the World Valued Care

What does it really mean to do the work before becoming a dad? For today's guest, Queensland farmer Dave Woods, fatherhood wasn’t something he wanted to just stumble into.  He wanted to be prepared. So, long before he and his wife Alice welcomed their three children, Dave confronted his own mental health struggles head-on, determined to build the kind of stability he hoped his kids would grow up with. In this conversation, Dave opens up about growing up on his family’s farm, the pressures of succession, and the often-silent battles rural men face.  He talks candidly about depression, ego, and the culture of stoicism in the bush - and how alternative approaches gave him the tools to change his life. It’s this work that led him to become a 2025 Nuffield Scholar, focusing his research on why, despite increasing investment, rural Australia’s mental health challenges are not improving. His story is one of courage, challenging the status quo, and what it takes to become the kind of father you always hoped you’d be.Father Land is proudly sponsored by Nutrien Ag Solutions — delivering expert agronomy advice to help Australian growers thrive.Explore their Win Big promotion and Digital Crop Insurance Tool today to grow smarter, save time, and boost productivity this season. https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

When journalist Virginia Tapscott became a mum, she thought she’d be back at work within six months. But motherhood had other plans. Raised on a cattle and cropping farm near Narrabri, Virginia had built a career telling stories that mattered, first in the city and later back in the bush she loved. But once she became a mother, life on the farm with young children gave her a front-row seat to the invisible labour of care. Balancing paid work with childcare drop-offs, she realised what society calls “work” often overlooks the unseen labour mothers do at home — the sleepless nights, the meals, the emotional load. That realisation fuelled her advocacy. Through the Parents Work Collective and her new book All Mothers Work, Virginia is challenging how our systems undervalue the job of raising children. This is her story. Support services:1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 Lifeline on 13 11 14 Kincoppal-Rose Bay Boarding is a second home where balance, care, and belonging come first. For rural and regional families, it’s a place where girls grow in confidence and discover their potential. Visit www.krb.nsw.edu.au/boardinghttps://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

What does it mean to be a good man in the bush? For Matthew Tonkin, the answer has transformed over time. Growing up the youngest of five on his family’s farm near the NSW–Queensland border, Matthew believed a man’s worth was in hard work and providing for his family. But as farm debt and expectations mounted, he equated strength with silence—a silence that led to drinking, despair, and darkness. Seven years sober, Matthew now speaks openly about vulnerability, self-respect, and caring for yourself so you can care for others. As a father of four, grandfather, and leader in agriculture, he’s found a new kind of strength rooted in compassion, discipline, and connection. This episode explores masculinity, resilience, and hope—how one man remade his life, and what his journey reveals about the men raising families and running farms across rural Australia.Lifeline: 13 11 14Sober in the Country Father Land is proudly sponsored by Nutrien Ag Solutions. Get unmatched market access, expertise and results for your livestock and wool. Talk to your local team today: www.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/livestockwww.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/woolhttps://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

12 years ago, Piers Dumaresq walked away from the high-flying world of Sydney wealth management, to return home to the family farm in Tasmania with his future wife. On paper, it looked like a tree-change success story: a 200-year-old family farm, marriage, two children, and a future firmly rooted in the soil.  But behind the original stone buildings of Mount Ireh, life wasn’t as simple on the family front.  Piers’s marriage ended when his children were still little, and in the aftermath he found himself confronting not just the realities of co-parenting and running a farm, but the deeper question of who he was as a man and a father.  He hit rock bottom, then rebuilt—choosing to put his kids first, reshaping the family business, and doing the hard personal work to heal. Today, Piers opens up about life on the land, fatherhood, the reason he believes so many marriages fail, and what it means to rebuild after loss while carrying a very big family legacy forward. This is his story.Get in touch with Pier's via https://divorce-recovery-guide.com/ Nutrien has teamed up with the VFF to help farmers facing record-breaking dry conditions by connecting them with drought relief grants, practical resources, and vital mental health support. Nutrien is also helping farmers prepare for tomorrow, with sustainability services that measure and manage environmental impacts like soil health and greenhouse gas emissions. https://www.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/sustainabilityhttps://www.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/vff-and-nutrien-ag-solutions-team-help-drought-hit-victorian-farmers https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Tick Everett is a man who never imagined he’d be the face of a national movement. For decades, he worked the land, raised his daughters, and built a life around family and farming. But in January 2018, that life changed forever. At just 14, Tick’s youngest daughter, Dolly, died by suicide after an extended period of bullying and cyberbullying. Soon after, Tick and his wife Kate launched Dolly’s Dream. Today's episode isn’t the story you’ve heard before. With honesty and vulnerability, he opens up in ways he never has before about love, loss, and what it means to keep going when your world has fallen apart. He reflects on resilience, fatherhood, the importance of men speaking up about their mental health, and why even the smallest acts of kindness can matter more than we’ll ever know. This is his story.Since teaming up with Dolly’s Dream in 2022, Nutrien’s people and communities have turned blue each year, raising over $600,000 to help end bullying and improve mental health for young people in rural Australia.. And that’s just part of more than $2.8m invested in projects that strengthen and support regional communities right across the country.  Learn more: www.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/supporting-communitieshttps://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

12 years ago on South Australia’s Yorke Peninsula, three farmers looked in the mirror and didn’t like what they saw. So they founded Fat Farmers, a grassroots movement now inspiring rural communities to get moving, check in on each other, and quietly save lives. One of the founders is Ben Wundersitz, a fifth-generation farmer from Maitland, SA — a state still crippled by drought. Ben shares how those first awkward workouts grew into 35 groups nationwide, the mental health conversations that happen between reps, and what fatherhood means to him after raising two kids with his high-school sweetheart, Belinda. Last month, his impact was recognised when he was named the overall Bush Champion and Ag Champion at the inaugural Bush Champions awards. This is his story.Father Land is proudly sponsored by Nutrien Ag Solutions, a leading agribusiness that draws on more than 180 years of service to Australian agriculture. With a network of over 700 locations nationwide, Nutrien offers more than just farm supplies. Their services span agronomy, livestock marketing, animal health, crop protection, digital ag, finance, insurance, rural real estate, and water management. https://www.nutrienagsolutions.com.au/https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

When Renae Black stepped into her second maternity leave, she was in the thick of postnatal anxiety and overwhelm. Instead of letting it swallow her, she opened her laptop and set herself a challenge: write a book before going back to work. By the time she returned to the office, she had four manuscripts under her belt! Raised on a farm north of Wagga, Renae’s childhood was full of cattle, dogs, snakes and even the occasional ostrich. That sense of small-town grit and community never left her, and now, in Queensland’s Moreton Bay, she balances life as a mum, social worker, and rural romance author. In this episode, Renae reflects on how writing became a lifeline during her hardest seasons of motherhood, how farm life and her social work continues to shape her storytelling, and why love and community will always remain at the heart of her work.Thank you to Blundstone for proudly supporting our Winter season. Built for life on the land and beyond, their boots are made to go the distance and keep up with life’s adventures. Explore the range: https://www.blundstone.com.au Domestic violence or sexual assault support:Lifeline: 13 11 141800 RESPECT or 1800 737 732 or text 0458 737 73213 YARN or 13 92 76 for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait IslandersNSW Domestic Violence Line 1800 65 64 63QLD DV Connect 1800 811 811Victoria Safe Steps 1800 015 188WA Women's Domestic Violence Helpline 1800 007 339 https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

There was a day when Stuart Austin picked up the phone and called his wife, asking her to come home because he needed her. He wasn’t sick, and he wasn’t injured…but he was in a very dark place, and he knew he couldn’t get through it alone. Stu is a cattleman, entrepreneur, and father of three. His story stretches from long days on Northern Territory stations, working on ranches in Canada, 8 years as General Manager of Wilmot Cattle Co, and now, his own advisory business, Audacious Ag. But this conversation isn’t just about his career in ag. It’s about fatherhood, identity, the moments that nearly broke him — and the family and community who helped him through. From meeting his wife in the stock camp, navigating years of mental health struggles, and raising his beautiful kids, Stu’s story is very raw, honest, and full of lessons about what it means to be a farmer and a father.Right now, Nutrien is looking for passionate people to join its Livestock Career Development Program in QLD, NSW, VIC and SA. Over two years, you’ll build real skills in stock agency work, livestock productivity, animal health and nutrition, AuctionsPlus, auctioneering, wool marketing, and the latest technology shaping our industry. Applications close September 28: CLICK HEREhttps://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

Dr Tjanara Goreng Goreng is a mum, grandmother, academic and author. A proud Wakka Wakka/Wulli Wulli woman, she was born in 1958 in Longreach, central western Queensland. Her story is one of resilience across generations. Under the Queensland Act, Aboriginal people were controlled and forced onto missions — but her great-grandfather kept the family on Country by working the land and negotiating with station owners, ensuring their culture survived. From this foundation, Tjanara’s life unfolded — through Catholic schooling, champion swimming, and later, confronting the trauma of childhood abuse. She’s since built a diverse career, from her groundbreaking work on sacred leadership to her memoir A Long Way from No Go. At the heart of her life, though, is family: her daughter, granddaughter, and her former husband, whom she now cares for full time. This is her story. Every mark on our boots tells a story, and Blundstone boots are made to be part of yours. Built for life on the land and beyond, they’re ready for whatever’s next whether it’s chasing cattle, or kids. Explore the full range via the link in our show notes. https://www.blundstone.com.au/  https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia

John Hassell has spent his life farming in Western Australia, raising three kids, and now spoiling grandkids. As Vice President of the National Farmers Federation, he’s fought for fairer outcomes for farmers and sparked deeper conversations about rural mental health. His drive comes from lived experience — grappling with succession pressures, crushing financial stress, and a battle with depression that once left him collapsed on the shearing shed floor. Behind his grit and humour is a raw story of struggle and resilience. In this conversation, John speaks more openly than ever about marriage, fatherhood, and the determination to show up for his kids, even in the hardest seasons. Father Land is proudly supported by Nutrien Ag Solutions. With over 700 locations nationwide, Nutrien’s people live and work in rural communities, delivering trusted advice and farm supplies. Their genuine commitment to farmers and families makes this series possible. Learn more at nutrienagsolutions.com.au.https://www.instagram.com/motherlandaustralia