Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson podcast

EP 248: Rewrite the Mother Code – Losing Yourself, Self-Mothering, and the Courage to Rock the Boat with Dr. Gertrude Lyons

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In this episode, Kimberly speaks with Dr. Gertrude Lyons, a master coach, podcast host, and the author of Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust, about what it takes to notice you have gone missing from your own life. Dr. Gertrude describes the moment on a pilgrimage in Nepal, with her children in high school and college, when she burst into tears in front of a shaman and understood that despite years of coaching, study, and conscious parenting, she had lost herself somewhere inside motherhood. That recognition sent her back to school for a doctorate in education and eventually produced the framework the book is built on. Kimberly and Dr. Gertrude trace how the messages get in: the primal, unconscious conviction that rocking the boat will make everything fall apart, the ordering of children and spouse and career ahead of self, and the false pretense that there is a right way to do any of it. The conversation turns to the hero myth and what it has done to mother culture, the pressure to be exceptional rather than to be on a journey, and whether twenty years of increased awareness has actually shifted anything underneath. She then tells the story of her 2025 TEDx talk, which TED would not post until she removed the birth data: the maternal mortality figures, the history of midwives being pushed out by active marketing campaigns, and the observation that not all hospital birth practice is evidence based. Kimberly picks this up and runs with it, on how the people the system appears to serve are the least likely to see it clearly, on birth as an irreducibly bodily experience that has been siloed off from the rest of a woman's life, and on what it costs to be defanged from your own animal instinct. 

Bio

Dr. Gertrude Lyons is a master coach, podcast host, and thought leader helping women rewrite outdated narratives around motherhood, identity, and self-worth. She is the author of Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust, A Cosmic Approach to Motherhood (Rise Books, 2025), which grew out of her doctoral research into the transformational opportunity inside motherhood and has since become the foundation of a broader body of work with women at every stage of that question. She holds an Ed.D. and an M.A. in Transformational Leadership and Coaching from Wright Graduate University, an M.A. in Psychology from Antioch University McGregor, and a BBA in Finance and Accounting from Saint Mary's College in Notre Dame, Indiana. She is a Whole Brain Living certified coach and holds a Level 3 breathwork certification through the Global Professional Breathwork Alliance. She hosts the Rewrite the Mother Code podcast, delivered a 2025 TEDx talk titled Redefining Self-Mothering: The Courage to Mother Ourselves First, and has spoken at the Glastonbury Goddess Conference. Over more than twenty years she has worked with individuals, couples, parents, and families, and she now leads retreats in Mexico and Ireland, with a first retreat in Malta planned. Her home base is Chicago. She has two daughters.

What Dr. Gertrude Shares

  • The pilgrimage in Nepal, the shaman, and the moment she understood she had lost herself inside motherhood

  • Why two master's degrees were not enough, and what sent her back for a doctorate

  • The difference between her first daughter and her second, and the fear she could only see in retrospect

  • What rocking the boat looked like, and how couples coaching quietly became parenting coaching

  • Leaving the dogma of a Roman Catholic upbringing while keeping the mystery, and finding the divine feminine

  • The letter she wrote in 1989 asking her fiancé for premarital counseling, and why she could not say it out loud

  • The hero myth as exceptionalism, and the journey as the whole point rather than the prize at the end

  • What has and has not changed for mothers in thirty years, and why more information has meant more overwhelm

  • Her home birth, being called selfish by her family, and the boss whose two suggestions changed her life

  • The 2025 TEDx talk, the birth data she was asked to remove, and the reason she was never given

  • Why she believes all women mother, and the one downside she has found to saying so

What You'll Hear

  • Whether the people around you can see that you have gone missing, or whether only you can

  • The primal, unconscious calculation that if I rock the boat, everything will fall apart

  • Joseph Campbell taught to eighth graders, and whether we want children to be heroes of their own lives

  • Emergence rather than a declared end game, and myth held without making it all about you

  • Mom rage arriving in the culture, and what it took to put the word on a book cover ten years ago

  • Maternal mortality, midwives pushed out by marketing campaigns, and what counts as evidence based

  • Why the people a system appears to serve are often the least able to see it clearly

  • The infamous request for a home birth in a hospital, and what a good hospital birth actually requires

  • Birth as an irreducibly bodily experience, and the cost of siloing it off from the rest of a life

  • The oppositional gaze, being defanged from animal instinct, and belonging conditional on conformity

  • A frank exchange about what gets lost when mothering becomes a metaphor

  • Maiden to mother, mother to virgin, virgin to crone, and how that maturation happens without a birth

Resources

Dr. Gertrude Lyons

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