Why you need to stop chasing the “spark”

We’ve been sold a lie…that the spark is everything. That butterflies = the one. That if it fades, it must be over.In this episode, I’m flipping that script.I share why the real magic in a relationship often begins after the spark fades, when masks drop, when it gets a little boring, and when you start building something that actually lasts.Inside:💭 The truth about the spark (and why it fades)💡 How to create safety + depth instead of chasing chaos🧠 Epic journaling prompts to clarify your relationship values, whether you're single or partnered💌 A whole new perspective on love, longevity, and building a real relationshipThis one’s a sigh of relief,especially if you’ve ever wondered: “Is it meant to feel like this?”🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts👉 Follow me on IG @cindrabanks⭐️ Rate & review if it hit home!

Let’s talk about the D-word… and why it’s not the dirty secret it’s made out to be 💔I’ve been divorced twice — and I’m not ashamed. In this episode, I’m getting real about what it actually means to walk away from a relationship that no longer fits, how to honour your evolution, and why longevity ≠ success.This one’s for anyone who’s been made to feel like a failure for choosing themselves. 🔥We’re unpacking:✨ Why divorce isn’t the end — it can be a beginning✨ Releasing shame and rewriting the story✨ The messy, brave, beautiful process of leaving with love✨ How society still sees divorce as a problem (spoiler: it’s not).If you’ve ever felt like you “should’ve made it work,” this is your permission slip to drop the guilt.👉 Follow me on IG @cindrabanks⭐️ Rate + review the pod if you loved this ep🎧 And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next

This episode is for the freshly queer, those who STILL haven’t found the one, the romantics, and anyone who’s out here dating with intentionality—not just vibes.Inspired by a listener question about dating as a new lesbian later in life, I dive into what it really means to find love on your terms (and not lose yourself in the process).We cover:
💘 Finding dates (without losing the plot)
🪞 How to actually work on yourself while single
📆 What to do before the date
🙅‍♀️ First date red flags + green lights
💔 Rejection + keeping your heart open
👭 Framed through a queer lens, but real talk for anyone who wants a conscious relationshipThis one’s juicy, grounded, and a little flirty—just like dating should be.🎧 Tune in now on Let’s Get It On
📲 DM me your thoughts or questions @cindrabanks
💕 And share it with your freshly-out or dating-intentionally bestie

You found out you’re anxiously (or avoidantly) attached—probably from a TikTok. Cool. Now what the hell do you do with that?This no-BS episode is for anyone tired of wearing their attachment style like a label and ready to actually shift it. I’m sharing my story as a recovering avoidant, plus the three simple steps you can start today to move from triggered to secure:1. Discovery + learning2. Noticing how it shows up IRL3. Learning how to make yourself feel safe—without needing someone else to fix itBecause awareness is only step one, and healing doesn’t happen from just reposting memes.🎧 If this hits, share it, leave a review, or send it to a fellow TikTok-diagnosed bestie.📲 Got questions or a big "OMG SAME" moment? DM me on IG @cindrabanks — I’d love to chat.Let’s heal the love stuff, for real.

This one’s a little different. A vulnerable behind-the-scenes share on why I walked away from my business, disappeared from Instagram, and took a big step back after a decade in the coaching industry 💖I’m talking:🖤 Burnout🧠 Mental health👻 Why I ghosted⏸ What it really felt like to stop doing something I built my identity around💭 And how I’m slowly finding my way back—on my termsIf you’ve ever felt like walking away from something that no longer feels aligned, this one’s for you.🎧 Hit follow or subscribe if you’re here for real talk and big heart shares.📲 Slide into my DMs over on Instagram @cindrabanks — I’d love to hear if this resonated or if you’re in a similar season.Let’s keep it real 💖

I’m back, baby! After a little break, Let’s Get It On returns with a juicy episode busting the top 5 myths about couples coaching. If you've ever thought coaching would magically fix your relationship or bring back instant fireworks in the bedroom—you need to hear this.In this episode, I unpack some of the biggest misconceptions, including:✨ That it’ll fix your relationship🔥 That you’ll instantly be having ravishing sex again🙅‍♀️ That your partner needs to change (not you)🧘‍♀️ That this is the only work you need to do💔 That your coach’s relationship is perfectSpoiler: Coaching is powerful, but it’s not a magic pill—and that’s actually a good thing.🎧 If you loved this episode, hit follow or subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more people find the pod!📲 Come hang out on Instagram @cindrabanks and tell me which myth resonated the most with you—I’d love to hear your thoughts.Let’s get it on 💦

TW: Abuse, su!cide. Listen with care.⁠ ⁠ What you'll learn about on this episode:⁠ ⁠ 🎧️ What betrayal trauma is and how it shows up in relationships⁠ 🎧️ How you can be "blind" to things you can actually see⁠ 🎧️ Having unhealthy attachment to people⁠ 🎧️ How trauma bonding plays out in relationships⁠ 🎧️ What toxic co-dependency is⁠ 🎧️ How to start healing any and all the above!⁠ ⁠ PLUS so much more, Jess shares her amazing story and we share our experiences and what we have both gone through to get into the secure relationships we are in now 💦⁠ ⁠ Thanks to this babe @jessellaainsworth for her wisdom - Go and check out her Insta and her work🔥⁠ And follow me whilst you’re at it @cindrabanks ⁠ And thanks in advance for listening, rating and reviewing the pod. Let's get it on 🫶🏼

This episode is brought to you by Healthy, Secure & Hot 🔥 The twelve week program to go from triggered, avoidant and libido-less to secure AF, deeply connected and turned on in your relationship! DM me to enrol - Instagram.com/cindrabanks 🔥 My friend and colleague ALICE joins me for this juicy episode, talking about the main issue we hear from our audiences and clients, the loss of desire (aka the spark) in long term relationships 👏🏻⁠ ⁠ What you'll learn about on this episode:⁠ ⁠ 🎧️ The reframing of what high/low libido is 🎧️ How to handle the intimacy “rebuff” and what to do about it 🎧️ Why s.egs shouldn’t be on the to-do list 🎧️ Non-Segsual Intimacy and the importance of this 🎧️ Foreplay during the day 🎧️ Brakes and Accelerators for s.egs 🎧️ Erotic rituals and play to spice things up 🎧️ Why Cindra doesn’t have s.egs on school nights ⁠ PLUS so much more, we give you a wealth of tools and resources to reclaim the desire in your relationship 💦⁠ ⁠ Thanks to this babe @alicechildofficial for their wisdom - Go and check out her Insta and her amazing games for couples🔥⁠ And my Insta is @cindrabanks 💕 ⁠ And thanks in advance for listening, rating and reviewing the pod. Let's get it on 💦

EVEN if you don't get behind open relating, open up your ears and listen to this convo because I gurantee you will learn something regardless 👏🏻⁠ ⁠ What you'll learn about on this episode:⁠ ⁠ 🎧️ Toxic/Unhealthy Monogamy⁠ 🎧️ How jealousy in relationships is romanticised and based on insecurity (your own)⁠ 🎧️ Infidelity and what it means⁠ 🎧️ How Ether Perel and the Gottmans are changing the way relationships are (thank god)⁠ 🎧️ What open relating means...⁠ ⁠ PLUS all the goss on Kate and Greg's relationship, recent experience at a swinger's resort, their NAUGHTIEST rendezvous with others and so much more 💦⁠ ⁠ Thanks to these babes @cfkate and Greg for their wisdom - Go and check out their podcast Gone Rogue for more on them and their relationship 🔥⁠ Find me on Insta @cindrabanks 💕 ⁠ And thanks in advance for listening, rating and reviewing the pod so more peeps can find this 🙏

TW: Domestic V.iolence - Please contact 1800 RESPECT for support⁠ in Australia. ⁠ 💜 That’s So Taboo - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE with Lauren Jane from @find.my.wild 💜⁠ ⁠ Gosh, what a much needed episode this is 🫶🏼⁠ ⁠ Lauren shared so openly about her DV journey, how to identify emotional a.buse, how she managed to not only survive, but eventually thrive from her experience and what she does now to help people going through similar things 👏🏻⁠ ⁠ It was eye opening and heart breaking, to tell you the truth. As she shared about gaslighting, post separational a.buse and the long recovery journey, my mouth hung open 😧⁠ ⁠ I cannot believe this is happening EVERY DAY in this country and elsewhere and many people are turning a blind eye 👀⁠ ⁠ Not after this episode they won't be, I want to get this out to as many people as possible - So please do listen and share 🙏🏼⁠ ⁠ Thanks to this beautiful babe @find.my.wild for her vulnerable shares, inspiration and guidance around this topic - Go follow her on IG and get ready to support her not for profit which is so needed 🔥⁠ Follow me too @cindrabanks 💕 ⁠ And thanks in advance for listening, rating and reviewing the pod - It will help more people hear this story 👏🏻⁠