EP48: Pain Shopping

Love addiction is more than 'just' love addiction: It's a set of symptoms rooted in codependence, and fed by cutural messages that lead girls and women to believe they are unworthy, unwell, unlovable--and all of this starts early in life. Anna Christie's story is an incredible example of the influence those messages can have on us. As she explains in this episode, Anna knew at a young age that she was queer; but through feedback from her environment, she learned this wasn't acceptable, and spent years of her life conforming. Anna's powerful story is an example of the distances we'll travel in search of the belonging we crave, as well as proof that we can find ourselves again.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community) and Fall 2024 Mother Hunger online group.   Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

When an addictive relationship ends, we can find ourselves feeling wobbly, uncertain and very vulnerable. We might seek therapy, or the help of a support group, or even guidance from someone who SAYS they have the solution to our problem and can make the pain go away. In this episode, Jodi and her friend Brooke share stories of seeking comfort from psychics, and why we might look for guidance in such places, and place so much trust in someone we don't even know. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community) and Fall 2024 Mother Hunger online group.   Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

We often think of recovery as something we start, and then everything gets better. But everyone's path to recovery is unique, and truth is that once we do get started, things might actually get harder before they get easier. In this epsiode, Jodi talks with another therapist in recovery, Heidi Kingston, regarding her personal experience with love addiction, the ups and downs of her own recovery journey, and what she's learned along the way. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community) Heidi's website Pia Mellody books referenced: Facing Love Addiction and Breaking Free The Meadows workshop referenced: Survivors Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Fantasy plays a big part in the cycle of love addiction; and for many of us, using fantasy to escape discomfort starts early in life. This, acommpanied with the idea of a prince charming or soulmate as presented to us in childhood fairy tales, has a poweful impact on how we see ourselves, and what we look for in relationships. In this episode, Jodi talks with Heather Cronemiller, a therapist in recovery and co-author of "Going Deeper For Women: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sex & Love Addiction". Heather shares her experience with fantasy and the search for a soulmate, and what ultimately led her into recovery. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website Heather's website Going Deeper For Women Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

In love addiction, we have an issue with reality. In other words, we tend to ignore the data that's often right in front of us, and might even seek 'different' data elsewhere--something that could possibly soothe us, but often hurts us. In this episode, Jodi and her friend, Brooke, discuss the concepts of pain shopping and comfort-seeking behaviors; and they share their personal experiences with both. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to more information about The JOLA Network (Jodi's online recovery community): https://jodiwhite.jolanetwork.com/ Jodi's website: https://www.jodiwhiteonline.com/ Additional resources (including Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody) Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

It can be easy to assume that therapists have it together in life and relationships; but when it comes to attachment--and love addiction--no one is immune. And because hearing from a therapist who 'gets it' can be very helpful for those of us in recovery, Jodi invited therapist and coach, Leah Hoffman, to the podcast to share her recent experience with the cycle of love addiction and what she's learned from it. Show notes and resources: Leah's website: coachingwithleah.com Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional.  If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

One of the hard parts of recovery--and life--is having difficult conversations, especially those that come with a chance of discord, being seen as the 'bad guy', or simply feeling uncomfortable. When confronted with having hard conversations, it can seem 'easier' to avoid them...but also less functional, and avoiding can lead to resentment and feeling stuck. But there's good reason for the discomfort: In this episode of the podcast, Jodi talks about this with therapist and boundaries expert Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore and about her new book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" (you may remember Jules from EP31, "All About Boundaries"). Jules shares six steps to setting an external boundary, as well as the importance of a pause and paying attention to feelings; why hard conversations are so challenging; why we struggle with self-compassion, and why growth comes with grief.   Show notes and resources: Information about Jules Taylor Shore and her instagram. Purchase "Setting Boundaries That Stick" EP31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional.  If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

It's hard to be still sometimes, especially in a culture that constantly tells you to get moving, to achieve, to perform--plus being still often comes with all the feelings...and feeling our feelings can be hard, too. In this episode Jodi talks about a few of the hard parts of recovery, including difficult conversations, how she views past shameful experiences, and the reality of joy in recovery. Show notes and resources: Information about Emily Nagoski The Principles of Pleasure on Netflix (trailer) The Robcast episode referenced (#365) Danielle Laporte Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional.  If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Love addiction comes with a set of symptoms leading to a pattern of dysfunctional relationships; whether we tend to be more anxious or more avoidant (or both), we may find ourselves in the push/pull of addictive relationships more than once. Then, after each relationship we say "I'll never do that again", fully intending to make some changes, but... Even if we enter love addiction recovery and address the symptoms, we may still find that we're unknowingly driven by outdated message telling us who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to live our lives. Why? Because of inherited cultural beliefs that infiltrate our decision-making. In this episode Jodi discusses these cultural beliefs--how they fuel love addiction and can meddle with life in recovery, too. She also reviews the symptoms of codependence and love addiction, and talks about the impact that seemingly benign labels can have on kids. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com References: Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody; Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel Album mentioned: Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt Disclaimer:  This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional.  If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

The term 'love addiction' is often referred to in the context of romantic relationships, but did you know that the symptoms can apply to platonic relationships, too? In this episode, Jodi talks about her history with undervaluing herself in friendships and overlooking red flags in order to belong and be the "best friend". She's joined by her friend Brooke (from "A Breakup Story"), to discuss the complexity of female friendships past and present. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com NYT article: What To Do If A Friend Ghosts You by Catherine Pearson Books referenced: Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional.  If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.