The Contrarian Mindset: Resolving the Fear of Rejection

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. Have you ever held back in a meeting, hesitated to share an idea, or watered down your voice just to avoid criticism? You’re not alone. The fear of being judged isn’t just uncomfortable—it quietly shapes our choices, silences innovation, and drains confidence from even the most experienced professionals.In this week’s Bite Size Fridays episode of It’s an Inside Job, I unpack how to shift your mindset and show up with courage and clarity, even when judgment is in the room. Through David’s story—a seasoned marketing leader paralyzed by disapproval during a critical presentation—we explore how to reclaim your voice and separate your worth from others’ reactions.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow to stop letting others’ opinions dictate your self-worthThe difference between emotional reality and observable realityWhy fear of judgment often hides behind perfectionism and people-pleasingHow to practice small, courageous acts that build long-term confidenceWhat it means to be clear instead of perfect when you lead, create, or speak upThis episode is essential for anyone who has ever played small to avoid scrutiny—and is ready to start showing up fully.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodeDistinguish emotional reality from observable factsWhat feels like rejection is often just interpretation. Ask: What do I actually know, and what am I assuming?Anchor self-worth internallyYour value doesn’t depend on nods, praise, or applause. Make a list of 3 traits that are true about you—even in silence.Challenge unrealistic standardsNot everyone will understand or applaud your vision on day one. Resistance might not be a red flag—it could be a sign you’re leading.Practice small acts of courageConfidence is a result. Courage is a decision. Speak honestly, share unpolished ideas, and hold your ground—even when it’s hard.Prioritize progress over perfectionTrade the pressure to perform for the permission to grow. Ask: What did I learn? Where did I stay aligned with my values?Perfect for You If You’re Asking:Why does criticism shake me more than it should?How do I stop shrinking in rooms where I feel scrutinized?How can I lead with confidence when I know not everyone will agree?What would it look like to speak with more truth and less fear?Additional ResourcesThis is Part 11 in a 15-part Contrarian Mindset series—designed to help you challenge limiting beliefs and show up with clarity and courage in uncertain moments.Facing the Fear of VulnerabilityBreaking Free from PerfectionismMoving Through Imposter SyndromeOvercoming the Fear of Not Being Good EnoughReplacing Reactivity with ResponseEmbracing Change Instead of Resisting ItThe Fear of Deviating from the Known PathFinding Peace with the Path You’ve Chosen (FOMO)Redefining Relevance by Slowing DownBuilding Rejection ResilienceSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "High performance is not about perfection or superiority—it’s about reaching your best potential, whatever that may be, and doing it sustainably without sacrificing your health or well-being." - Agnes CserhatiIn this episode of It's an Inside Job, I sit down with returning guest and newly published author Agnes Cserhati to discuss her groundbreaking book:Performance Advantage: 12 Success Principles Every Senior Leader Needs to Know But Executive Courses Don’t Teach.Agnes shares the real story behind writing the book—from her motivations and challenges to the unlearning and vulnerability it required. Together, we explore how performance isn’t about perfection or relentless output—it’s about sustaining excellence over time through self-awareness, resilience, and thoughtful leadership. Whether you’re a senior leader or aspiring one, this episode is packed with honest insights you won’t find in a typical executive course.What We Cover in This Episode:The difference between achievement and performance—and why the distinction mattersWhy performance is a process, not a result, and how to build sustainable high performanceThe role of rest, recovery, and reflection in leadershipHow Agnes redefined her own leadership philosophy through vulnerability and storytellingThe challenges and surprises of writing a book that blends practical principles with personal experienceThe importance of unlearning and self-leadership as foundational tools for long-term growthWhy every leader needs to define their own version of success—instead of chasing someone else’sHow resilience, especially personal resilience, became the heartbeat of her messageContact:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/agnescserhati/X:  https://twitter.com/AgnesCserhatiInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/acpowercoaching/Web:  https://www.ac-powercoaching.com/Book: The Performance AdvantageSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. In a world that praises visibility, success, and certainty, few things feel as personal—or as painful—as rejection. Whether it’s a job application, a creative project, or simply speaking your truth, rejection can stir up self-doubt, silence our voices, and leave us questioning our worth.In this week’s Bite Size Fridays episode of It’s an Inside Job, we explore how to build rejection resilience through the story of Aisha—a talented young writer who feared that her voice, rooted in her cultural heritage, might not be welcome in the publishing world. When rejections came, they felt deeply personal. But through the contrarian mindset, she shifted her lens and transformed rejection into growth, clarity, and creative freedom.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow to separate your identity from outcomes like rejection or criticismPractical tools to reframe rejection as information—not judgmentWhy your self-worth must be rooted internally, not externallyHow community and connection protect you from isolation and shameHow perfectionism masks fear—and what to ask instead to unlock creativityWays to turn obstacles into growth opportunities, not emotional setbacksThis episode is especially helpful if you’re navigating creative risks, pitching ideas, applying for jobs, or sharing your voice in any vulnerable way.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodeFocus on reality, not emotional realityRejection hurts, but the story we add to it often stings more. Ask: What actually happened—and what am I making it mean?Practice internal self-worthDon’t tie your value to yes or no. Anchor it in your effort, honesty, and willingness to show up.Build social bridgesRejection thrives in silence. Connection—especially with others who’ve been there—dissolves its grip.Progress over perfectionPerfectionism is fear in disguise. Replace “Is this perfect?” with “Is this better than yesterday?”See rejection as a teacherEvery “no” contains insight. Look for patterns. Learn. Adjust. Keep going stronger.Perfect for You If You’re Asking:How do I bounce back after being turned down or dismissed?Why does rejection feel so personal—and how do I stop it from defining me?What can I do when my self-confidence takes a hit?How do I keep creating when the world doesn’t seem to notice or care?Additional ResourcesThis is Part 10 of our 15-part Contrarian Mindset series—helping you shift your perspective and strengthen your inner core through life’s challenges.Catch up on previous episodes here:Facing the Fear of VulnerabilityBreaking Free from PerfectionismMoving Through Imposter SyndromeOvercoming the Fear of Not Being Good EnoughReplacing Reactivity with ResponseEmbracing Change Instead of Resisting ItThe Fear of Deviating from the Known PathFinding Peace with the Path You’ve Chosen (FOMO)The Fear of No Keeping UpSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "Innovation starts when we get curious about ourselves—then the world." - Dr Chika OriuwaIn this episode, Dr. Chika Stacy Oriuwa unpacks the neuroscience behind resilience, creativity, and compassionate leadership. Discover how to activate curiosity, build high-performing teams, and lead with both emotional intelligence and innovation.What if the key to high-impact leadership isn't toughness or talent—but curiosity, compassion, and your brain's capacity to connect?Key Takeaway Insights and Tools The Innovation Blueprint – 3-Step Leadership FrameworkDr. Oriuwa introduces her model: Prime your mind through curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking; ignite innovation in others through compassionate leadership; and harmonize collective genius through psychological safety.Curiosity Fuels Innovation via DopamineCuriosity activates the brain’s discovery domain (default mode network), releasing dopamine and creating intrinsic motivation for learning and innovation.Creativity = Risk + Pattern RecognitionGreat creativity happens when we find invisible strings between unrelated ideas. Encourage it by taking small risks daily and prioritizing quality sleep to support REM-stage insight.Cognitive + Emotional Empathy in LeadershipEmotionally intelligent leaders access both emotional and cognitive empathy—staying connected without being overwhelmed. This balance boosts trust while protecting resilience.Psychological Safety Is NeurobiologicalFear-based leadership activates the amygdala and shuts down creativity. Compassionate leadership, however, promotes oxytocin, clarity, and trust—enabling high performance under pressure.Critical Thinking Relies on Intellectual HumilityDr. Oriuwa breaks down how challenging assumptions and staying open to new perspectives sharpens decision-making and leadership adaptability.Mirror Neurons and Culture ContagionAuthenticity and compassion trigger mirror neurons, spreading emotional safety and high standards across teams—creating resilient, human-centered cultures.BioDr. Chika Stacey Oriuwa is a Canadian physician, award-winning author, and spoken word poet who made history as the first Black woman to be sole valedictorian at the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Medicine. A first-generation Nigerian-Canadian, she’s a prominent advocate for mental health, equity, and system change. Her debut memoir, Unlike the Rest: A Doctor’s Story, was released in 2024 by HarperCollins. She is currently completing her psychiatry residency with a focus on neuropsychiatry and forensic medicine.Follow her work via HarperCollins or by searching @chikaoriuwa.BooksUnlike the Rest: A Doctor’s Story – HarperCollins, 2024If this episode sparked your thinking, share it with a leader or friend who believes in making innovation human. And don’t forget to subscribe to It’s an Inside Job for weekly insights that help you lead from the inside out.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. In fast-paced industries—and even faster-paced lives—it’s easy to confuse momentum with meaning. The pressure to stay ahead, stay visible, or stay relevant can quietly push us into a cycle of constant chasing, often leaving us feeling disconnected and empty. But what if real success isn’t about speeding up, but about getting clear?In this week’s Bite Size Fridays episode of It’s an Inside Job, I dive into the fear of not keeping up through the lens of the contrarian mindset. You’ll hear the story of Zoe, a rising interior architect who built a career by mastering trends—only to realize that what she was creating no longer felt like her own. Through self-reflection, she stopped reacting to external demands and started designing from within.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow to pause and reclaim your focus in a world that glorifies urgencyWhy internal alignment beats external validation—especially in creative and professional workHow to redefine success by letting go of borrowed expectationsTools for staying grounded and resilient when life gets noisyWhy discomfort can be a compass pointing toward authenticity and growthThese insights are especially valuable if you’re a leader, creator, or professional who feels like you're constantly reacting—and you’re ready to regain a sense of purpose and direction.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodeGround yourself in reality, not the rush – Ask: Is this aligned with what I value, or just what looks impressive?Redefine success – Move away from outside metrics and build your own rooted in clarity and integrityTreat resistance as a signpost – Let friction point you toward personal truth, not away from itAnchor in internal self-worth – Don’t rely on likes, praise, or visibility—lead from the quality of your craftStay steady when things get noisy – Practice equanimity and act from clarity, not urgencyChoose courage over comfort – Take one honest step toward what really mattersZoe’s story is a reminder: relevance doesn’t come from racing. It comes from knowing where you stand—and why it matters.Perfect for You If You’re Asking:How do I stop comparing myself to others?Why do I feel like I’m always behind?How can I lead or create from a place of purpose—not pressure?What does success look like on my terms?Additional ResourcesIf you’re working to build a resilient, purpose-driven mindset that thrives in complexity and change, explore the rest of the Contrarian Mindset series below. Each short episode helps you tackle hidden fears and shift old habits—one mindset at a time.This is Part 9 of a 15-part series. Catch up on earlier episodes:Facing the Fear of VulnerabilityBreaking Free from PerfectionismMoving Through Imposter SyndromeOvercoming the Fear of Not Being Good EnoughReplacing Reactivity with ResponseEmbracing Change Instead of Resisting ItThe Fear of Deviating from the Known PathFinding Peace with the Path You’ve Chosen (FOMO)Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. "We’ve placed too much value on the psychological part of the brain and ignored the physiological foundation beneath it. Real resilience starts with your nervous system." - Dr Torkil FærøIn this episode, I sit down with Dr. Torkil Færø—a general practitioner, emergency physician, award-winning filmmaker, photographer, and author of The Pulse Cure. We explore how real-time health data, particularly Heart Rate Variability (HRV), can serve as a powerful tool for tracking stress, building resilience, and creating lasting change in how we live and lead.Torkil shares how the death of his father prompted a transformation in his own lifestyle, leading him to investigate the connection between stress, the autonomic nervous system, and long-term well-being. He breaks down what HRV actually measures, why it's a better indicator of resilience than most people think, and how smartwatches and other wearables can shift health ownership back into our hands—quite literally.We also unpack the hidden impact of evolutionary stress patterns—like constant comparison, negativity bias, and our brain’s over-adaptation—and how these deeply rooted traits drive chronic stress and undermine our physical health.What I appreciated most was how practical this conversation was. Whether we were discussing the importance of sleep, active rest, breathwork, or expressive writing, Torkil emphasized that meaningful change starts with awareness—and that physiological resilience is the bedrock of emotional and cognitive health.What we cover in this episode:How to use HRV to monitor stress and improve well-beingWhy the autonomic nervous system is foundational to health and resilienceThe surprising impact of modern stressors like comparison and overstimulationWhat your resting heart rate reveals about your long-term vitalityWhy good sleep starts two hours before bedHow journaling and slow breathing stimulate recovery systemsThe critical difference between challenge vs. threat-based stressWhy individualized tracking is more valuable than general health metricsIf you're looking to take back control of your health in a sustainable and science-backed way, this episode is packed with tools and insights you can start using right away.EMPOWERED Voices: Recovery to ResiliencyA heartfelt podcast series that brings to light the challenges and triumphs of...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. We live in a world that constantly shows us what we could be doing—careers we didn’t pursue, trips we didn’t take, opportunities we didn’t chase. It's easy to feel like whatever path you're on, it’s somehow not quite enough. That subtle, restless hum? That’s FOMO—the fear of missing out.In this week’s Bite Size Fridays episode of It’s an Inside Job, I explore how the contrarian mindset helps shift from comparison to clarity. Through Elena’s story—a successful architect who looked accomplished on the outside but wrestled with second-guessing and regret on the inside—you’ll see how grounding in the present transforms distraction into direction.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow to recognize and interrupt the subtle impact of FOMOTools to anchor your decisions in values rather than validationWhy your past choices don’t need to be perfect to be powerfulHow to reclaim energy and focus from rumination loopsWhat it looks like to build self-worth from the inside outIf you often feel pulled in a dozen directions by other people’s wins, this episode helps you shift from chasing everything to appreciating something—your current path.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodeFocus on what you can controlFOMO thrives in the realm of comparison. Shift your energy inward by asking: What’s one action I can take today that aligns with what truly matters to me?Disrupt the rumination loopWhen you catch yourself spinning in what-ifs, say: That path isn’t mine. Then ask: What part of this thought is useful—and what’s just noise?Reframe past choices as learningInstead of judging yourself for a decision, write down three things it taught you. See your past as groundwork—not as missteps.Aim for progress, not perfectionOthers’ lives aren’t perfect—they’re curated. Reflect weekly on:What moved me forward?What did I learn?Where did I show up fully?Strengthen self-worth from withinList five things you respect about how you’ve navigated challenges—not what you’ve achieved. This roots your worth in character, not comparison.Perfect for You If You’re Asking:Why do I always feel like I’m falling behind—even when I’m doing well?How do I stop comparing my choices to others’?What can I do to feel more confident in the path I’ve chosen?How do I shift from fear-based decision-making to self-directed action?Additional ResourcesThis is Part 8 of a 15-part Contrarian Mindset series—each episode helping you rethink reactive habits and grow a mindset that’s grounded, clear, and resilient.Catch up on earlier episodes:Facing the Fear of VulnerabilityBreaking Free from PerfectionismMoving Through Imposter SyndromeOvercoming the Fear of Not Being Good EnoughReplacing Reactivity with ResponseEmbracing Change Instead of Resisting ItThe Fear of Deviating from the Known PathScroll back to Season 7 for deep dives into the 12 core contrarian skills that build lasting resilience and psychological strength.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Reinvention isn’t a reaction — it’s a practice. You get ahead by reading the signals in your system before disruption arrives.” Piers Fallowfield-Cooper.Have you ever felt a subtle tug — a whisper from within — telling you that something needs to change? Maybe your current path no longer fits. Maybe you're not stuck, but you’re not evolving either. In this episode, I sit down with Piers Fallowfield-Cooper to unpack how reinvention isn't something we reserve for crises — it's a skill we should practice regularly, long before we need it.Piers is someone who’s led from the boardroom to the coaching chair. From navigating London’s financial markets to co-founding global ventures and now helping leaders unlock clarity through his coaching, Piers’ journey is built on listening — not just to others, but to the quiet inner cues that guide us toward growth. He’s also the author of Are You Still the Future?, a book that challenges us to evolve before we’re forced to.Together, we discuss how to read those internal signals, the difference between goal-setting and directionality, and why flexibility — not perfection — is the real key to resilience. Whether you're feeling restless in your current role or just craving something more, this conversation might just be the invitation to your next chapter.Piers Fallowfield-Cooper is a former financial executive turned coach, mentor, and author of Are You Still the Future?. With decades of leadership experience across global markets, he now helps high-level professionals and executives lead intuitively, make meaningful pivots, and stay future-relevant through personal alignment and conscious reinvention. Key Takeaways:Reinvention is proactive: Don’t wait for crisis — learn to listen for subtle emotional or physical signals that it’s time to pivot.Directionality vs. rigid goals: Focus on intentional movement and flexibility rather than fixed endpoints.Emotional intelligence starts in the body: Being attuned to how you physically feel can offer early guidance for decision-making.Sacred listening builds trust: Coaching is not about fixing — it's about creating space for people to hear themselves.Future-ready leaders invest in creativity and relationships: As AI becomes more prominent, the human edge will be in our adaptability, empathy, and ability to build trust.Know when good enough is enough: Successful executives know what requires perfection and what simply needs to move forward.Choose battles wisely: Don’t spend energy on skirmishes — reserve your effort for what truly matters.If something in this episode sparked a thought or unearthed a whisper you've been ignoring, take a moment to sit with it. Share this episode with someone navigating a transition, and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future conversations that help you lead, grow, and evolve — from the inside out.Support the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “This isn’t about abandoning your experience—it’s about shaping it to meet today’s challenges. The road ahead might look different, but the courage to step off the old one is where real growth begins.”Change is the new constant—but it rarely feels that way when you’re the one standing at a crossroads. Many of us build careers, reputations, and lives on a set of strategies that used to work. So what happens when the world shifts, but we resist shifting with it?In this episode of Bite Size Fridays, we explore the fear of deviating from the known path—and how the contrarian mindset helps us make brave, thoughtful pivots when the familiar starts to limit us. Through the story of Sophia, a seasoned marketing leader, you’ll see what it means to move from rigid routines to adaptive thinking—and how that shift can reignite both purpose and performance.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow to spot when old strategies are holding you back, even if they once led to successPractical tools to reframe uncertainty as opportunityWhy letting go of fixed outcomes opens up new pathways to progressHow to normalize change through experimentation instead of big leapsThe importance of leaning on others for insight, courage, and creative breakthroughsIf you’ve ever felt stuck doing “what worked before,” this episode offers practical strategies to help you lead, create, and grow with confidence in the unknown.Contrarian Strategies from This EpisodeReframe uncertainty as opportunityWhen things get unclear, don’t rush to fix them—pause and ask: What could I learn from this? What might be possible here that I haven’t yet considered?Let go of rigid outcomesFlexibility doesn’t mean compromising goals—it means exploring new ways to reach them. Think in Plan A, B, and C—not just one “right” answer.Turn obstacles into signalsFriction isn’t failure—it’s feedback. Identify what’s not working and use it to spark change.Build a habit of experimentationSmall, low-risk changes add up. Test new methods regularly to normalize innovation and reduce resistance to change.Lean on connectionSurround yourself with people who think differently. Curiosity thrives in conversation, not isolation.Perfect for You If You’re Asking:How do I know when to shift my approach—even if it worked in the past?Why does change feel so threatening, and how can I move through it with less fear?What does healthy risk-taking look like for a team or leader?How can I stay relevant without abandoning who I am or what I’ve built?Additional ResourcesThis is Part 7 of the 15-part Contrarian Mindset series—each short episode helping you challenge old habits and build the mental flexibility to thrive in uncertainty.Catch up on previous episodes:Facing the Fear of VulnerabilityBreaking Free from PerfectionismMoving Through Imposter SyndromeOvercoming the Fear of Not Being Good EnoughReplacing Reactivity with ResponseEmbracing Change Instead of Resisting ItSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday

Get in touch with us! We’d appreciate your feedback and comments. “Faith isn’t about blind obedience—it’s about finding meaning in the questions we ask.” – Dr. Amir HussainIn this episode, I speak with Dr. Amir Hussain, Professor of Theological Studies at Loyola Marymount University, about how faith—beyond religion—can act as an anchor during times of upheaval. Amir brings over two decades of scholarship and interfaith dialogue to our conversation, helping us explore how storytelling, ritual, and even doubt serve as powerful tools in building both personal and collective resilience.We discuss how rituals like sitting Shiva offer not only spiritual comfort but also psychological structure during grief. Amir also reflects on the emotional and neurological power of storytelling, and how myth—true or fictional—helps communities make sense of life’s greatest challenges. Drawing on examples from Islam, Christianity, and Judaism, we examine how these traditions shape our responses to uncertainty, loss, and connection.From addressing the false dichotomy between science and religion to highlighting shared human values across faiths, Amir challenges us to listen more deeply, question bravely, and appreciate the humanity in others—even when they believe differently than we do.What We Cover:How rituals help process grief and restore emotional balanceWhy doubt can deepen both scientific and religious understandingThe psychological and social value of storytelling in faith traditionsInsights from One God, Two Religions on Islam and ChristianityHow faith can adapt alongside science without losing depthThe importance of empathy, community, and shared human experienceBioDr. Amir Hussain is a professor of theological studies at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. Born in Pakistan and raised in Toronto, Amir has dedicated his career to studying and teaching world religions, with a focus on Islam and interfaith dialogue. He’s the author of several books, including One God, Two Religions: Christians and Muslims as Neighbors, which explores the intersection of shared values, common humanity, and religious understanding.Resources & Links:One God, Two Religions – Book by Dr. Amir HussainSupport the showSign up for the weekly IT'S AN INSIDE JOB NEWSLETTER takes 5 seconds to fill out receive a fresh update every Wednesday