We Are Meant To Soar (From 2022)

A fable is told of an egg in an eagle's nest high in the branches of a towering tree, that fell out of the nest and landed in the middle of a chicken coup. It soon hatched, and a baby eagle emerged. The baby bird looked around, saw the other chickens, and naturally figured that it, too, was a chicken. It realized that its wings looked much different, but it was raised among the chickens and acted just as chickens act. It ate chicken feed and ran around the coup, without flying. Then, one day, its mother swooped down from the skies into the chicken coup. It saw its baby, and told it to get onto its back. "Why?" the baby eagle asked. "I live here in the chicken coup." "This isn't where you belong," the mother eagle said. "You're not meant to be here. You're meant to fly, to soar to the heavens." The baby eagle had no idea what the mother was talking about. It never imagined that it could fly to the sky. Finally, the mother convinced the baby to get onto its back. The mother flew to a mountain peak, and told the baby to get off. It then told the baby to flap its wings, and start to fly. The Mishna in Pirkeh Avot (6:2) tells that every day, a voice is sounded from Mount Sinai, exclaiming, אוי להם לבריות מעלבונה של תורה – "Woe unto those creatures, who disgrace the Torah ." This heavenly voice bemoans the fact that so many people neglect the Torah, filling their time instead with other, vain pursuits. The Mishna applies to such people the verse in the Book of Mishleh (11:22), נזם זהב באף חזיר – "A gold ring in the nose of a pig." We were given the Torah, which is more precious than the most expensive piece of gold jewelry. We were given the opportunity to soar to the greatest heights, to achieve greatness, to live meaningful, spiritual lives, to live lives of kedushah . If we waste our time on vanity, then we are like someone who is given a piece of gold jewelry and puts it on a pig. Parashat Kedoshim begins, דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל ואמרת אליהם קדושים תהיו – "Speak to the entire congregation of Beneh Yisrael, and say to them: You shall be holy." Moshe was to tell כל עדת בני ישראל , the entire nation, every single person among the Jewish People, that they are meant to be sacred. We are all meant to soar. We are all meant to be great. We are like that baby eagle in a chicken coup. All around us, people aren't "flying." They're spending their time on social media, watching all kinds of videos, playing games, and being glued to their screens. This is the society we live in, but this is not the way we are supposed to live. We are supposed to soar, to live at a much higher standard, to fill our time and our lives with meaning, with purpose, with רוחניות (spirituality), with kedushah . We aren't supposed to act like "chickens," to occupy ourselves with vanity. Let us hear the call of קדושים תהיו , and make the commitment to be better, to avoid the distractions, to avoid the nonsense, so we can soar to the great heights that we are meant to reach.

The Vilna Gaon, in his commentary to the Book of Mishleh (16:1-4), discusses how each and every person is created as a unique and distinct being, different from all other people. We all have not only a distinctive appearance, but also a distinctive set of qualities, natural talents, and ways of thinking and processing what we see and learn. This is because every single soul is unique. No two souls are alike. This point is probably not new to most of us. But the next point made by the Vilna Gaon is fascinating. He writes that during the times when there was prophecy, a person could go to a prophet who, though prophecy, could analyze his unique soul, and on this basis advise the individual what his role and mission in the world is. The prophet could tell the person what kind of person to marry, what kind of career to pursue, what kind of activities he should be involved in, and so on, in accordance with his unique characteristics. But nowadays, the Vilna Gaon says, when we don't have prophecy, we have the power to do this ourselves. The Vilna Gaon writes that each person has a certain level of ru'ah ha'kodesh , a kind of spiritual insight resembling prophecy, which helps him identify his unique mission, what unique role he is to fill and what unique contribution he is to make. The Vilna Gaon here is teaching us something so important, and so powerful, which, I'm afraid, some people fail to realize. He is teaching us that the only thing that matters is our unique mission, our unique journey through life. What other people do, or the way other people perceive us, is irrelevant. We each have a journey to take to life – and this is what we should be focused on. So many people get distracted from their journey because they're too worried about what others think of them. They're too busy trying to impress their peers, trying to get attention, trying to win approval and admiration. Trying to impress people is so foolish, because what other people think does not matter. What matters is our journey, our mission, our efforts to achieve what we've come into this world to achieve. This is what we should be focusing on – not on impressing people. Parashiyot Tazria and Metzora deal mainly with the subject of tzara'at , a type of affliction that would befall those who indulged in lashon ha'ra – gossip and negative talk about other people. Very often, we feel the need to hear and spread gossip, to talk about other people's faults and mistakes, so that we can feel good about ourselves, so we can feel that we're better, that our lives are more impressive than theirs. This, too, is terribly foolish. Other people's mistakes and other people's faults have nothing to do with us. The fact that our fellow did this or didn't do that says absolutely nothing – nothing! – about how we're doing, about whether we're living our best life, about whether we're on the right track, whether we're fulfilling our unique mission and advancing in our unique journey. Everyone has issues of one kind or another. Everyone is struggling with something. How somebody else is managing with his issues says absolutely nothing about how we're managing with ours. Focusing on other people's struggles accomplishes nothing but diverting our attention away from the work we need to do to overcome our own struggles. Let's stop worrying less about what other people think of us, and what other people are doing, and start worrying more about working to grow, to achieve, and to pursue the goals that we have been brought into the world to achieve.

The beginning of Parashat Shemini tells us of the first day that Aharon and his sons served as Kohanim. Hashem commanded that several special sacrifices be offered in honor of this day, one of which was an עגל – a calf – which Aharon was to bring as a sin-offering. The commentaries explain that Aharon was required to sacrifice an עגל to atone for his role in חטא העגל – the sin of the golden calf. As we know, it was Aharon who collected gold from the people and turned it into the image of a calf, which the people worshipped. Aharon needed כפרה (atonement) for this act, and so he was required to bring an עגל as a sacrifice. This raises the question regarding Aharon's role in the story of חטא העגל . Clearly, Aharon was a righteous man who would never worship an idol or encourage others to worship an idol. There is no question that his intentions in this incident were pure. According to some commentators, Aharon saw that the people were insistent on making an idol, and so he went along with the plan to delay the process, hoping that Moshe would return from the top of Mount Sinai in the interim. Nevertheless, despite his good intentions, his actions resulted in a grave חילול ה' , as the nation sinned by worshipping the idol that he created. Therefore, although his intentions were pure, he was held accountable for the way he went about it, which yielded disastrous results. The simple lesson that this incident shows us is that good intentions are not sufficient. Even when we truly want to do the right thing, we need to go about it wisely. We need to think carefully about how to carry out our intentions in the most appropriate and effective manner. Just to give one example, I am sure most if not all of us have had the experience of being at a Shabbat table or social function when people start talking gossip or lashon ha'ra , and there's somebody present who, rightfully, wants no part in this forbidden conversation. Sometimes, the person simply remains quiet and does not participate. But sometimes the person chooses the less intelligent approach of condescendingly criticizing the people, telling them, "Oh, you talk about other people? You talk lashon ha'ra ? I don't talk this way!" His intentions are pure, but he goes about it the totally wrong way, making everyone at the table uncomfortable and upset. This is neither helpful nor constructive. Another example is the well-intentioned but very harmful comments that relatives sometimes make when a young man or woman starts becoming more religiously observant. Almost invariably, there is an aunt or uncle who says something to the effect of, "What's wrong? We're not religious enough for you?" "You're wearing only long skirts now – how will you get married?" "Oh, so you got brainwashed?" "You're going to yeshiva – how do you expect to make a living?" In some cases, the concern is legitimate. It is understandable that family members might be worried about a young person making drastic changes that perhaps they are not prepared for, or decisions that will impact their future in ways that they might not realize. The intentions might very well be pure – but these comments are very destructive. So many young people have told me that the greatest impediment to spiritual growth that they've encountered is the fear of these comments by family members. Here's an example of a well-intentioned comment made in the proper way. I once received a phone call from somebody I never met, who told me that he listens to my classes online. He told me how much he appreciates them and how much he gains from them. He then mentioned to me that he watched a short video message that I had made a couple of days earlier, and that he liked it very much – but there was one thing I said which he thought was not appropriate. And he politely explained to me why he felt that way. I told him how much I appreciated and welcomed his feedback, and especially how he expressed his criticism so respectfully. This is how it is done. If we are legitimately concerned about something and feel that a comment is in order, we need to go about it the right way. The fact that our intentions are sincere does not mean that we can say it however we want. The fact that our concern is legitimate does not make everything we say or do legitimate. Even the great Aharon Ha'kohen needed to atone for doing the right thing, since it was not done in the right way. Let's try to be smart, and not just right, and do the right thing in the right way. Our input is often valuable and necessary – but only if we ensure to say it the right way, with respect, with love, with warmth, and with friendship, showing our genuine concern.

** This week's Derasha is dedicated in memory of Avraham ben Gemilah A"H ** As the child observes during the singing of מה נשתנה , there are two points during the seder when we dip some food before eating it. Early in the seder , after kiddush , we dip the karpas (a piece of vegetable) in saltwater, or vinegar (depending on one's family custom), and later, right before the meal, we dip the marror in haroset . What might these two dippings represent? The Ben Ish Hai explained that the two dippings, which are performed before and after the main part of the seder , correspond to two dippings that in essence bookended the period of exile in Egypt. The first dipping commemorates מכירת יוסף , Yosef's sale as a slave by his brothers, when they dipped his special garment in goat's blood to make it appear as though he was attacked by a wild animal. As we prepare to tell the story of our ancestors' bondage in Egypt, we bring to mind how it started – with hated among brothers, with divisiveness, with jealousy, with brothers turning against one another. Then, after we learn about the process of Yetziat Mitzrayim , we dip a second time to commemorate the night Beneh Yisrael left Egypt. In preparation for this night, they slaughtered a sheep and dipped branches in the blood, which they then smeared on their doorposts. These branches were bound together into a bundle, symbolizing unity, as the people corrected the scourge of hatred and divisiveness that had caused their exile and joined together in peace and harmony. I also saw an additional explanation of the two dippings. The first time, we take the karpas , a tasty vegetable, and dip it into something foul-tasting. The second time, we do just the opposite – we take the bitter marror and dip it into the sweet haroset . The karpas and the marror represent the two different kinds of stages we go through in life. At times, we enjoy " karpas " – good fortune, happiness and success. But we all go through phases of " marror ," of "bitterness." Every person, without exception, struggles at various points in life. Whether it's devastating loss, financial hardships, problems within the family, or challenges with physical or mental health, we all deal with " marror " of one kind or another. The two dippings instruct us how to handle both the joys and the bitterness. During times of joy and good fortune, we need to exercise caution not to become too confident or arrogant. We must not become overly self-assured, certain that we will always enjoy unbridled happiness and success. We must remind ourselves that life is fragile, that we are always vulnerable. The dipping of the karpas into the saltwater thus represents the tempering of our joy, teaching that while we are certainly entitled to enjoy our good fortune, we must ensure not to see ourselves as invincible, or that our continued success is guaranteed. But in times of "bitterness," when we are struggling, when life has taken a wrong turn, when we feel pain, sorrow or anxiety, we need to do the opposite – we need to "dip" these feelings into the " haroset ," and make them "sweeter." We must believe that Hashem is always helping us, and even the direst, most painful situation can be reversed. Instead of wallowing in sadness and self-pity, we need to "sweeten" our feelings through emunah , by reminding ourselves that Hashem is in control. The message of the two dippings, then, is we must never get too high or too low. Both in times of joy and in times of struggle, we need to place our faith in Hashem, and trust that He is managing our lives, and that we can and must always rely only on Him.

This Shabbat we begin reading the Book of Vayikra, much of which deals with the laws of the korbanot , the sacrifices which were offered in the Bet Ha'mikdash . For many of us, these laws seem very difficult to relate to, as the Jewish People have been unable to offer sacrifices for nearly two thousand years, since the destruction of the Bet Ha'mikdash . Ironically, however, the Midrash tells us that it is customary for schoolchildren to begin learning Humash specifically from this book, Sefer Vayikra. Although these laws strike us as dry, uninteresting and irrelevant, and we would never imagine making this part of the Humash the first section to teach our children, the Midrash tells us that this is precisely what should be done. The Midrash explains: הואיל וקרבנות טהורים והתינוקות טהורים, יבואו טהורים ויתעסקו בטהורים . Since the sacrifices are pure, and the children are pure, let the pure ones come and deal with that which is pure. Today, the custom is that when children begin learning Humash , they read the first several pesukim of Sefer Vayikra, and then they are taught the story of creation at the beginning of the Humash . But let us delve a bit deeper into this notion, that the children must be taught the concept of sacrifices already at an early age. A researcher named Dr. K. Anders Ericsson once conducted a major study, involving students at the Berlin Academy of Music. This school trains some of the greatest young musicians in the world, many of whom go on to become the most accomplished people in their fields. Dr. Ericsson studied the work habits of these students, since they began learning music. He and his team found that all of them had begun learning when they were very young, and all worked hard throughout their youth. However, there was a vast difference in the number of hours that the students had devoted to practicing. Some had spent a total of 10,000 hours of practice by the time they were twenty, some around 8,000 hours, and some just 4,000 hours. The researchers discovered that this factor – the number of hours of practice – was the main determinator of the students' level of achievement. Those who invested the most effort were the ones who showed the most promise and were on track to become the world's leading musicians. Natural talent was not nearly as significant a factor as hard work and effort. The most important thing we need to teach our children, already at a young age, is the value of korbanot – sacrifice, exertion, hard work, and effort. If our children get the message that success is determined by natural talent, by how smart a person is, by one's good looks, by the wealth of the family he was born into, or by any other factor other than hard work – we are lowering their chances of success. King Shlomo says in the Book of Mishleh (24:30-31): על שדה איש עצל עברתי, ועל כרם אדם חסר לב – "I passed the field of a lazy man, and the vineyard of a person without a heart." He then proceeds to describe how it looked: overgrown, abandoned, and in ruins. The lazy person's field does not produce much, if anything. There are so many people in our society – even adults in their 20s, 30s and 40s – whose lives look like these fields, who fail to produce, because they were never taught about the central importance of korbanot , of making sacrifices – giving our time, our energy, our attention, and our money for the sake of pursuing valuable and ambitious goals. This message needs to be taught to our children when they are still טהורים , when they are very young and still developing their habits. The earlier in life children learn this message, the easier it will be for them when they grow older to make the sacrifices and effort that they need to make in order to succeed and maximize their potential.

After the people in charge of building the Mishkan completed their work, they brought it to Moshe. The Torah relates: וירא משה את כל המלאכה והנה עשו אתה כאשר צוה ה' כן עשו ויברך אתם משה. Moshe saw all the work – and behold, they had done it as Hashem had commanded, so did they do it. Moshe blessed them . Rashi tells us what blessing Moshe gave the people. He said: יהי רצון שתשרה שכינה במעשה ידיכם – "May it be the will that the Shechinah shall reside in your handiwork." At first glance, this means that Moshe prayed that the Shechinah , the divine presence, should dwell in the Mishkan . This prayer seems very puzzling. After all, Hashem had stated very clearly when He first commanded the people to construct a Mishkan that He would dwell within it – ועשו לי מקדש ושכנתי בתוכם ("They shall make for Me a sanctuary, and I will then reside among them" – Shemot 25:8). Once Moshe saw that the people constructed the Mishkan properly, he should have known that the Shechinah would come to reside within it, because this is precisely what Hashem had promised. He did not need to pray for this to happen. Rashi's comments seem difficult also for another reason. Normally, when we offer a prayer that begins with the words יהי רצון ("May it be the will"), we explain that we are talking about Hashem's will. We add, יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלוקינו ואלוקי אבותינו – "May it be the will before You, Hashem our G-d, and G-d of our forefathers," or something to this effect. In Moshe's prayer, however, as Rashi writes it, he simply said, יהי רצון , without specifying whose "will" this should be. The Ketav Sofer answers these two questions by presenting an entirely new reading of Rashi's comment. Moshe was not praying to Hashem, but was rather guiding and instructing the people. He was telling them that their will should be that the Shechina should reside among them. He was blessing them that מעשה ידיכם , everything they do, should be done with the hope of bringing Hashem into their lives. In everything they do, even their ordinary, mundane affairs, their primary goal and aspiration should be connecting to Hashem. If we would ask people what they think about Rabbis, and the role of a Rabbi, we would receive many different responses. At one extreme, some people think that Rabbis are perfect, infallible figures who speak absolute truth all the time, and cannot ever make mistakes or be challenged. On the opposite extreme, people dismiss Rabbis as charlatans, driven solely by personal agendas and politics. In the middle, we find people who view Rabbis as formal functionaries, whom they call when their child is getting married to perform the ceremony. Others think that a Rabbi's job is to provide halachic guidance, and no more. I believe that the insight of the Ketav Sofer shows us what a Rabbi is supposed to be, and why we all need a Rabbi to look up to and learn from. A real Rabbi is someone whose primary ambition is שתשרה שכינה במעשה ידיכם – to bring Hashem in their lives. A real Rabbi is someone who works very hard, and makes considerable personal sacrifices, to achieve this goal, to immerse himself in Torah study, to selflessly help other people, and to serve Hashem and the His beloved nation. This is what being a Rabbi means. It doesn't mean that he is perfect, that he never makes a mistake, that he never says the wrong thing, that he doesn't have an ego, that he does not struggle with the vices and temptations that all human beings struggle with. It just means that his primary goal, for which he invests a great deal of time and effort, and for which he makes a great deal of personal sacrifices, is to bring the Shechinah into his life, to connect with Hashem. He might occasionally err, but he is constantly striving for spiritual greatness, and this is his main ambition in life. And this is why we all need a Rabbi – to help us redirect our focus and attention. It is so easy in our world to lose sight of our purpose, to get distracted by materialism, to pursue vanity instead of what really matters. We all need someone who will set an example of the רצון שתשרה שכינה , the desire to connect with Hashem, to strive for something far greater than the ordinary, mundane things that we get bogged down with. This is the role model we should be looking for, and the role model that we need, so that in all מעשה ידיכם , in everything we do, we have our priorities straight and understand the purpose for which we were brought into the world.

Parashat Vayakhel tells of the construction of the Mishkan , the site that represented Hashem's residence among the people. In the center of this structure stood the aron , the ark, and it was from atop the aron that Hashem would speak to Moshe Rabbenu. The aron was made from wood, with gold plating on the interior and the exterior. Meaning, the aron had three layers: the gold on the outside, which is what people saw; the golden interior; and the wood in the middle. The Gemara in Masechet Yoma teaches that the two layers of gold plating convey to us a crucial lesson – that a Torah scholar must have the quality of תוכו כברו – "his inside is like his outside." His interior must match the piety and religious devotion that he projects externally. The image that he presents to the people around him must be an accurate reflection of who he really is inside. But if this is true, then why isn't the aron made entirely of gold? If the Torah wants the aron to represent the quality of תוכו כברו , then why doesn't it require making the aron pure gold, to symbolize that a talmid hacham should be "pure gold," inside and out? The answer is, quite simply, that nobody is perfect. The aron shows us that we all have "three layers" to our beings. The first is our exterior, our appearance, the way we present ourselves, the way people see us. The second is the "wood." This refers to our embarrassing faults, our mistakes and our mess-ups, that probably only our immediate family members know about. We all have a part of us that isn't "gold," that is flawed and far from perfect. But the main thing is to ensure that our interior, the innermost part of our beings, is truly "gold." This refers to our core identity. Yes, we are going to make mistakes, we are going to mess up from time to time. But the question is what kind of person we identify as, how we define ourselves. It's ok to have "wood" – as long as our inner beings are "gold," as long as we identify ourselves as genuinely Torah-committed Jews, and we strive to live in a way that reflects that "golden" identity. It is common to refer to a Torah-committed boy as a ben Torah – literally, "son of Torah" – and to a Torah-committed girl as a bat Torah – literally, "daughter of Torah." No matter what a person does, he cannot ever change the fact that he or she is his or her parents' child. Our biological relationship to our parents is a permanent and unalterable part of our identity. Similarly, we should be aspiring to be a " ben Torah " or " bat Torah ," a "child" of Torah. Our commitment to Torah must be a core element of our identity, of who we are, that will never change, even if we occasionally slip. We are going to make mistakes. And, living in our world, with all the lures and all the crazy influences all around us, we are going to be tested. The key to our success as Torah Jews is maintaining our core identity, defining ourselves as Torah Jews. Once we firmly establish that we are Hashem's children, that we are members of His special nation, that we are the ones who received the Torah, which offers us the opportunity to live the most meaningful and beautiful lives possible, then we can withstand every challenge, and we can recover from every failure. The most important thing for us is to make sure that our interior is "gold," that our commitment is genuine and real.

**This week's essay is dedicated in memory of Rosa bat Shafia** The Torah in Parashat Ki-Tisa makes the following brief comment about Yehoshua, the closest disciple and trusted attendant of Moshe Rabbenu: ומשרתו יהושע בן נון נער לא ימיש מתוך האוהל – "…and his servant, the young lad Yehoshua bin Nun, did not budge from inside the tent" (33:11). Yehoshua remained in Moshe Rabbenu's tent, his study hall, at all times, without ever leaving. One of the commentators takes note of the fact that Yehoshua is referred to here as a נער , a term that normally denotes youth. If we make the calculation based on what we know about Yehoshua's life, it turns out that Yehoshua at this point was actually 56 years old. Why would a man this age be called a נער ? The answer is that the Torah here refers not to Yehoshua's age, but to his humility and desire to learn. Yehoshua was always learning from Moshe Rabbenu, even at an advanced age. He didn't grow "old" and set in his ways. He was open and receptive to new information, to criticism, to feedback, to challenges to his old assumptions. This is what made him Moshe's greatest disciple, and what made him suitable to succeed Moshe as the next leader of Beneh Yisrael . To see just how important a quality this is, let's go back several parashiyot , to Parashat Yitro. That parashah tells of Matan Torah , Hashem's revelation to our ancestors at Mount Sinai, but before it does, it first relates a story involving Yitro, Moshe's father-in-law. Yitro had belonged to a different nation, the nation of Midyan, but after hearing of the miracles that Hashem performed for Beneh Yisrael , Yitro came to join them. The Torah tells that Yitro observed how Moshe Rabbenu sat the entire day tending to the people's issues, singlehandedly resolving all their conflicts. Yitro urged Moshe to appoint other judges to shoulder this burden with him, so he would not have to deal with all the people's problems by himself. Moshe accepted Yitro's advice, and right away appointed a network of judges. The Torah presents this story before the story of Matan Torah to explain why Moshe was chosen for the role of bringing the Torah from the heavens to Beneh Yisrael – because he had the humility to listen, to accept feedback even if it was not pleasant – and even from an outside – to acknowledge that he could do things better. This is what made him the outstanding leader and teacher that he was. We naturally hate hearing negative feedback. We get very defensive when people criticize us. The reason is that we don't want to acknowledge that we do things wrong, that we have a lot to learn, that we need other people's advice and guidance. And so we reject it, convincing ourselves – and trying to convince the person giving the criticism – that we were right and they were wrong. But if we are going to excel, we need to be open to feedback, even negative feedback. Whether it's from a friend, a spouse, a parent, a coworker, or even, at times, a child, we mustn't be so quick to reject criticism. To the contrary, it is precisely by being humbly receptive to criticism that we can grow and improve ourselves. Many years ago, my father gave me one of my first speaking jobs, asking me to speak at se'udah shelishit every Shabbat during the summer in his shul in Deal. I was young and inexperienced, and I was very nervous. But I thought I did the job fairly well, and I received a good deal of positive feedback. But one Shabbat, after se'udah shelishit , a man – who was a prominent member of the community – asked me to sit down with him. He told me that my speech was one of the worst he had ever heard. He threw in a very nice compliment, but he went on and on about everything I did wrong. He said that I tried to be funny but I wasn't, that the devar Torah was not relatable, and that I kept talking about "the good old days" which was insulting. He went on and on for about ten minutes. When our meeting ended, I was almost in tears. I couldn't function for the next three days. I was so pained by his critique. Looking back many years later, I realize that most of what he said was correct. True, he spoke too harshly, and could have and should have done this differently, in a less brutal way. But in retrospect, I realized that I gained a great deal from his critique. It made me a better speaker. Let's not be afraid to be wrong. No person is perfect. No person gets everything right. It's ok if our spouse, our boss, our coworker, our friend, or somebody else finds fault in something we said or did. Instead of rejecting it, we should give the feedback serious consideration, take it to heart, and turn it into a learning experience – because this is exactly how we will grow and become greater.

לך כנוס את כל היהודים Purim & Unity In presenting to Ahashverosh his plan to annihilate the Jewish Nation, Haman said: ישנו עם אחד מפוזר ומפורד בין העמים בכל מדינות מלכותך...ואת דתי המלך אינם עושים ולמלך אין שוה להניחם. There is one nation that is dispersed and scattered among all the provinces of your kingdom…and they do not follow the king's rules, and so it is not worth it for the king to keep them . (3:8) To understand the deeper meaning of Haman's statement, let us look at a story told by the Gemara in Masechet Baba Batra, of an exchange between Rabbi Akiva and a Roman officer named Turnus-Rufus. The officer posed to Rabbi Akiva a number of philosophical questions in an attempt to undermine Judaism, including the question of why Hashem does not care for the needy. Rabbi Akiva replied that Hashem expects the rest of us to care for the needy by giving charity, as in this way we earn merit. Turnus-Rufus then countered that to the contrary, people should be punished for supporting the poor. He explained that if a king was angry at one of his servants, and sent him to jail, ordering all his subjects not to feed him, surely anyone who fed the servant in defiance of the royal edict would be put to death. Similarly, if Hashem condemned a person to poverty, those who defy this decree by helping the pauper should deserve to be punished! Rabbi Akiva explained that this analogy would be accurate if we were only Hashem's servants. But we are not just His servants – we are also His children, whom He loves unconditionally. And if a king becomes angry at his son, and orders that he must not be given food, undoubtedly, one who feeds the son in defiance of the king will not only not be punished – but will be handsomely rewarded. By the same token, Rabbi Akiva said, Hashem loves and rewards us when we extend ourselves to help His children whom He had condemned to poverty. Haman, it seems, made the same mistake as Turnus-Rufus. He told Ahashverosh that the Jews were מפוזר מפורד בין העמים – dispersed among the nations, in exile, due to their sins. Indeed, ואת דתי המלך אינם עושים – they were not observing the laws decreed by the "king" – referring to the King of the universe, Hashem. The Jews were not loyal to the Torah, and so למלך אין שוה להניחם – there was no reason for Hashem to keep them. Haman assumed that he could destroy the Jews because they were not committed to Hashem, as evidenced by their dispersion among the other nations in exile. But Ester knew that this wasn't true. She knew that the Jews were Hashem's children, and He loved them despite their mistakes, even though they had not been observing the Torah the way they were supposed to. And to prove this, she instructed לך כנוס את כל היהודים – that all the Jews should assemble, should join together. If we are Hashem's children, then, necessarily, we are all siblings. Thus, in order to demonstrate that we are Hashem's children and worthy of His unconditional love, we must all come together with אחדות , with unity. The question then becomes, what exactly is "unity"? This is a word that often gets thrown around, but what does it really mean? And how is it achieved? The answer is that אחדות means unifying for a greater cause, realizing that not everything is about me, about my personal agendas, about my own interests. When the Jews of Persia joined together, this was very clear to them. They understood that the future of the Jewish Nation was at stake, that their own personal interests at this moment meant nothing. This was the quintessential אחדות moment – when the Jews all transcended their personal egotistical concerns, and joined together for a higher cause. This is the example of אחדות that we need to emulate in our lives, as well. And it's a lot more difficult than it sounds. When two sisters or sisters-in-law make a sheva berachot , and one takes credit for it, the other has to remind herself that this isn't about her, about her credit, but rather about the great joy of the new couple. When people are working together on some project for a shul, or a fundraiser, and one gets more attention than the other, the other has to remind himself that this isn't about him, it's about the lofty purpose that he was seeking to achieve. Unity when assembling for a Tehillim recitation on behalf of fellow Jews in distress is not very difficult. The greater cause for which we assemble is very clear. But unity when we feel hurt by a family member or friend can be brutal. We need to realize, though, that it is specifically at such times when our commitment to אחדות comes to the fore. It is then when we have the opportunity to show that the real story is the Jewish Nation, and our Torah values, not our ego, our prestige, or our own selfish interests. לך כנוס את כל היהודים . Let us all join together like siblings who put aside their differences for the sake of the family, and then we will be worthy of Hashem's unconditional love.

**This Week's Essay is in Memory of RACHEL Bat SARAH** Parashat Terumah tells of the construction of the Mishkan , the place where Beneh Yisrael offered sacrifices to Hashem in the desert and until the Bet Ha'mikdash was built. The commentaries explain that the Mishkan is symbolic of the way we are to bring Hashem's presence into our lives. The Mishkan was the place where Hashem resided among the people, but it represents the work that we need to do to have Hashem reside with us each and every day of our lives. Therefore, when we study the details of the Mishkan , we should expect these details to instruct us about the proper way to live. The parashah begins with Hashem listing all the materials that Beneh Yisrael needed to donate for this project. The list includes things like precious metals – gold, silver and copper – wood, and fabrics. Surprisingly, this list also mentions שמן למאור – oil for the kindling of the menorah . The reason why this is surprising is that the oil was not needed for the construction of the Mishkan – it was needed only after the Mishkan was built. The Torah did not include in this list animals for the various sacrifices, or flour for baking the bread that was placed on the shulhan (table) in the Mishkan . But for some reason, it did include here the oil for the menorah . Apparently, as one of the commentaries explains, the lighting of the menorah was not just something done in the Mishkan , but was part of the building process . Even after the entire structure and all its furnishings were fully built, it was not really finished until the menorah was lit. Therefore, the oil for the lighting is considered one of the building materials – because without it, without the light of the menorah , the Mishkan was not actually completed. The reason is that a house is not a house without light. It can have plenty of otherwise comfortable rooms, lots of furniture, and all the usual appliances, but without light, it's not really a home. The house is not considered "built" if there are no lights. The same is true about life. There are many things that go into "building" a happy, meaningful life. Most people would say that a fulfilling life should include marriage, children, a home, income, Torah study and observance, and perhaps some hobbies. However, even if all these are present, a person's life is not complete without "light." There is one thing that we all need and that without which, we are living "in the dark." What is this "light" that we're referring to? The story is told of a woman named Leah Teitelbaum, who lived in Hungary during World War II. When the Nazis came, she and thousands of other Jews were packed onto cattle cars that made their way to the concentration camps. Along the way, the train made a few stops. During one stop, after the people got off the train, a group of men decided to make a minyan for minchah , realizing that this might likely be their last opportunity to pray. A group of women, including Mrs. Teitelbaum, gathered to the side to pray with them. When the Nazi officers saw the Jews praying, they became very angry, and they shouted at them furiously. The group quickly dispersed in a panic – except Mrs. Teitelbaum. She continued praying, her eyes closed, as though nothing was happening around her. The guards surrounded her, shouted, and pointed their guns at her, but she just continued praying. When she finished praying, she opened her eyes, and saw guards pointing their guns at her. She immediately fainted. Later, someone who witnessed the scene asked her about what happened. Why did she continue praying instead of running away? Mrs. Teitelbaum explained that she didn't hear anything. "When we pray," she said, "we pray." She was fully present and focused on her tefillah . She was oblivious to everything going on around her. Miraculously, she survived the war. This is the "light" that so many of us are missing. We have everything that life is supposed to have – a family, a home, a livelihood, a community, friends, Torah and mitzvot , and so much more. But we aren't present. We aren't focused on what we're doing. We aren't experiencing all the goodness, we aren't enjoying all that we have. There are different reasons why. Some are too busy, constantly running from thing to the next. Some have one problem that overwhelms them so they can't think of anything else. Some overthink things, creating problems or turning small problems into big problems. Some are consumed by jealousy. Some are afflicted with anxiety. Some have an addiction to technology or to something else. Whatever the cause, too many of us aren't present in our lives. We live in the "dark," without joy and without fulfillment, because we're either too distracted or too busy to enjoy all that we have. I remember once meeting with a couple about a problem they had with a certain relative. After discussing the problem with them and offering some advice, as we were wrapping up, I turned to them and I said, "I just want you to realize what an amazing life you have." They had a beautiful marriage, wonderful children, and a comfortable livelihood. Without minimizing for a minute the challenge that they were dealing with, which was a real problem, I wanted to make sure that they were still able to enjoy the blessings in their lives. We need to recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect life. There is not one person I have ever met whose life is perfect, who does not struggle with some problem, or with several problems. If we cannot enjoy life until life is perfect, then we will never enjoy life. We need to embrace our life even with the challenges we face, even with the struggles that we have. If we don't, then we'll be living in the dark. So let's turn on the "light" by always being present and enjoying life the way it is at every moment.