Mastering Survival Mode (and Learning to Thrive)

A conversation with musician extraordinaire Debbie Siebert about how to incorporate music into your family culture: how to get your kids to practice the piano or another instrument, how and when to help them choose an instrument, and how to create an environment that encourages music. Experiments:  Experiment 1: Let Your Kids See You Play Music  Objective: Set an example of making music. If it looks fun/rewarding when you do it, your kids will want to do it too!  Procedure: Practice in front of your kids. Show them what it looks like to master a piece of music. If you don't play anything, pick an instrument and learn!     Experiment 2: Attend Live Music Performances as a Family  Objective: Broaden your family's musical horizons and get them excited about music.   Procedure: Look up local performances, even at the high school level. Your community probably has some free music events in the summer. Find out what kind of children's programs your local symphony runs—like discounted tickets for kids or special children's programming.     Experiment 3: Curate Playlists  Objective: Broaden your family's musical horizons  Procedure: Make specific playlists in different genres to introduce kids to renowned music and artists. The car is a great place to introduce great music.     Experiment 4: Watch Little Einsteins  Objective: Introduce young kids to classical music.  Procedure: Watch the shows together, then make a playlist of all the songs to reinforce the songs they learn.     Experiment 5: Hire a 10-Year-Old   Objective: Free yourself up to sit with your child while they practice.   Procedure: Hire a 10-year-old (or older) friend to play with your other kids while one kid practices. They'll behave better at the piano with a visitor, and you'll be free to focus on them.    Experiment 6: Buy Toy Instruments  Objective: Make playing music fun.   Procedure: Buy toys like xylophones, inexpensive ukuleles, shakers, etc., so kids can experiment and see music as play.     Experiment 7: Have a Regular Performance Night  Objective: Get the kids used to performing, and eager to show what they've learned that week.   Procedure: Once a week or month, gather the family and have each kid play a song or a part of a song they've been working on. Then have each family member share what they liked about the performance.     Experiment 8: Have a Family Talent Show  Objective: Practice performing.   Procedure: Gather your family, extended family, and/or friends and put on a little talent show. Encourage participation from all levels. Shower performers with applause and praise.     Experiment 9: Teach the Basics Yourself  Objective: Save money and start slow.  Procedure: Teach your child the basics of an instrument yourself until they're around 8. If you don't know how to play, learn the basics on YouTube or ask a teacher to give you a crash course. Make it a low-pressure, fun one-on-one time. Make it more like playing together than structured practice.     Experiment 10: Practice Hymns Before Church  Objective: Teach kids to sing parts.   Procedure: Find out which hymns you'll sing at church. Practice singing your part (i.e., alto or tenor) before church, then sing it with the congregation at church.    Experiment 11: Say "Play," not "Practice"   Objective: Reinforce the idea that music is fun.   Procedure: Stop referring to playing music as practice. Try different methods like rewards or gamifying to make it fun.  

My friends Callie Crum and Lanae Jones join me to talk about how to challenge our kids to try new things and get out of their comfort zones--even deliberately putting them in tough situations. The goal is that they will learn how rewarding it is to do hard things and ultimately choose it for themselves. They'll decide to tackle a big project, do something that scares them, take a hard class, train for a race, or power through a difficult trial.  

In some ways, this podcast episode saved my life. It was the last podcast interview I did before my rock-climbing accident, and I used it as a lifeline during my recovery. Hopefully your versions of survival mode are not as extreme as mine, but this episode is a blueprint for the continuous cycle from surviving to reentry to normalization to exploring to thriving. This is a re-edit, now with video.  You can find more from Jessica Jackson at thrivinginmotherhood.com 

Five experiments to help you organize your to-do list, focus on the task at hand, and get things done! To follow along in the Family Lab app, try it free for a month at familylab.lovable.app.  

A quarterly update on the experiments we've been trying in the Archibald home, with guest Andi Smiley to share her own summer experiments with her kids (5,7, and 9). We talk about experiments - and the lack thereof—eating in while on vacation, road tripping, chores, finding each kid's currency, audiobooks, and pushing ourselves to try scary new things.   Andi hosts her own podcast, The Friendy Podcast Guide, to help women create, launch, and grow their podcasts. 

I did a scary thing and entered a podcast competition for a show I love, Twenty Thousand Hertz. I didn't win, but I wanted to put this out into the world anyway! Do something that scares you (at least a little bit) today!

I made an app! This summer I organized all of our family systems and organization into one app to help teach my kids skills, manage our home, distribute labor, and keep track of fun things like traditions, favorite things, and bucket lists. In this episode I talk about how we run our home and how this app reflects our evolving systems and routines.     You can sign up for a free month at https://familylab.lovable.app. After that month, it's $3 a month. 

Motherhood is a team sport. We need coaches, heroes, teammates, both in the game and on the bench, ready to come in. In this episode, I share lessons from some of my earliest motherhood mentors, from how to pursue your passions to how to keep kids from making such a mess.  

Everyone always says moms are true heroes, but is it true? Big surprise, I think motherhood is the quintessential hero's journey. This episode explores the idea of the adventure of motherhood, dragon-slaying and all. 

Everything is more fun with a game—even household chores. I've always invented cleaning games, with my siblings, for myself, and with my own kids. So I thought I'd share my Top 20.