Help It Squirted In My Eye

There’s a big announcement, but only one of the boys is in the spotlight - cue the tension. Jordan’s boxers make an unexpected appearance during a house viewing, while William is once again accused of being passive aggressive (shock). Plus, the boys try to help a G&Diva whose piercings have wandered to some rather unexpected places.

William paints a complete picture of his 7th birthday party complete with limos, bowl cuts, and, of course, proper etiquette - quite different from Jordan and our G&Diva’s experiences. The boys gain some saucy insider knowledge on Vatican gift shops and one listener honours Campman with a little help from her furry friends.

There’s been a major incident in the studio… William has a stain on his shirt. Trying to distract from the drama, Jordan tells us all about rubbing shoulders with one of the greatest actors ever. Plus, the boys try to help a G&Diva who’s witnessed a shocking crime against suitcases.

Sexted has officially reached the ripe old age of seven! The podcast has aged like a fine wine, but the boys? Less so. With Dubonnet firmly in the mix, they take on a Relationship MOT to test their friendship, and let’s just say… a few icks are brought to light. On a slightly sweeter note, Elis and Janet send their birthday wishes, and there’s a new William and Jordan grazing about.

It’s birthday week! The boys reminisce on the last seven years and celebrate with a drink… or five. As the alcohol kicks in, they discuss their recent trip to the theatre to see Blood Brothers, William’s appearance on an unfiltered Aussie radio show, and attempt to help a G&Diva with a cock-blocking Nerf gun situation… which, in their state, is no easy feat.

The boys take Cock or Ball international with a little help from a Spanish G&Diva. William is gearing up to school us all on the Sistine Chapel (not the Sixteenth), while Jordan seems more interested in the Vatican’s gift shops. And all this talk of ancient monuments reminds Jordan of the time he found himself on the wrong side of a security guard.

William is fresh off a flight and running on no sleep, while Jordan has been busy slaying as Dorothy with a nasty case of pink eye after an unexpected foreign substance found its way into his eye. Despite it all, they’re here to tackle dilemmas about the perils of holding in a fart and an intimate conversation being broadcast in an unexpected way.

There’s an official statement from Mikey correcting the misinformation spread by the boys in Tuesday’s episode. Jordan’s been duped into a World Book Day costume at his “other job”, and William has a wonderful gift from a G&Diva who is satisfying his appetite for more Cha Cha Cha’s.

Fresh from their road trip to Devon, the boys reflect on the weekend with mixed reviews. One thing they can all agree on, though, is Sarah Hanson’s next-level hospitality (naturally, Daaahlings!). Meanwhile, there’s debate over the proper etiquette for addressing an unfortunately named baroness, and Jordan shares some explicit audio from his physio session, let’s just say, he’s never gone deeper.

Jordan’s flashing his fresh pearly whites after having a ‘big thing’ in his mouth. William’s passive-aggressiveness seems to be spreading - especially to Wendy. And the boys get their creative juices flowing as they dream up their ideal last names.