S17 Ep290: Overcoming People Pleasing and Codependency in Dating and Relationships with Debra Fileta

Today we’re joined by Jordan Lee Dooley, who vulnerably shares her journey with body image, body shame, and embracing health as an act of worship, plus practical encouragement for showing up confidently in dating! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re unpacking the signs of emotional unavailability with relationship coaches Caleb and Stefanie Rouse as they share their personal stories, expert insights, and practical tips for breaking toxic dating cycles! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Check out this week's sponsors: Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/HOD and get on your way to being your best self. . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re breaking cycles with Deb Fileta as she dives deep into people pleasing, unpacking its roots, how it affects dating and relationships, and sharing practical steps to walk in healthy, God-centered connection! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us today to listen in to a bonus episode in Patreon. A couple weeks ago we had a Christian bachelor event with two different bachelors. We finish up with a Q&A! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Kait and JJ dive deep into the world of limerence, breaking down what it really is, how it differs from infatuation and a crush, and offering practical wisdom for anyone struggling to break free from obsessive romantic fantasies! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re joined by the incredible Lysa TerKeurst as she gets real about healing from betrayal, rebuilding trust, and finding hope in dating again after an unwanted divorce! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re diving deep with Justin and Abi Stumvoll as they unpack the realities of mother and father wounds, discuss how our childhood impacts our dating lives, and share practical steps for healing and self-compassion! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching  Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Check out this week's sponsors: Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/HOD and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re talking all about breaking free from ambiguous “situationships” as Kait and JJ unpack how to spot them, why we get stuck in them, and practical steps to find clarity and healthier friendships in Christian dating! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we have Dr. Caroline Leaf, who unpacks the difference between mind and brain, how attachment patterns are learned, not labels, and gives us practical tools to transform how we show up in dating! Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Check out this week's sponsor: Cozy Earth: This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code HEARTOFDATING for up to 20% off the best bedding sets.  . . . . .  A quick thank you to one of our friends! Compassion International: Do you have a burning desire to be a parent but feel stuck in singleness? Do you want to make lasting, powerful impact in your life as a single? We are a proud partner of Compassion International. Our community of singles has sponsored hundreds of kids all around the world, and we’d love to invite you to join us on this compelling mission. http://compassion.com/heartofdating Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re diving into breaking free from sexual shame as Dr. Juli Slattery joins JJ and Kait Tomlin to unpack the roots of shame, identity traps, and how to pursue true sexual wholeness and surrender in our relationships with God and others! Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating   Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest  Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library  Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast  Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true  . . . . .  Check out this week's sponsors: Cozy Earth: This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code HEARTOFDATING for up to 20% off the best bedding sets.  . . . . .  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices