Our Own Worst Enemy (rebroadcast)

This week, we're revisiting a classic episode inspired by a late '90s pop-punk anthem: "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit. The title of that song perfectly captures a feeling common to those with ADHD. We often feel like our own greatest obstacle, plagued by an endless supply of self-destructive behaviors stemming directly from the condition. Counterproductive manifestations like poor time management, hyper-focusing on low-priority tasks, overcommitting, and procrastination can leave us feeling incredibly frustrated. We're talking about our "worst self"—the version of us that emerges in ways we later regret or that seem to actively work against our own interests. While the internet is full of advice on how to become your best self, the reality is that many of these frustrating behaviors do not reflect our value as people. Instead, they are often a reflection of our unmet needs and coping mechanisms. In this important rebroadcast, we discuss: How this "worst self" manifests in the context of ADHD. Why we should extend a bit more empathy toward these maladaptive behaviors. Practical ways to work on moving forward—not necessarily toward a flawless best self, but at least toward a better one. Tune in to explore this internal conflict and learn how to find compassion for the parts of you that struggle. Support me on Patreon Ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/188 This Episode's Top Tips Approach the idea of your worst self with empathy. Focus on the fact that you developed these maladaptive behaviors for a reason. Pay attention to the situations and emotions that trigger your worst behaviors to anticipate and manage them more effectively. Often, our maladaptive behaviors come out when we're not doing a good job of meeting our basic needs. If we're engaging in numbing behaviors, we can look below the symptoms to try and see what's setting them off.

Welcome to Hacking your ADHD. I'm your host, William Curb, and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD Brain. Today I'm joined by Skye Waterson for our research recap series. In this series, we take a look at a single research paper and dive into what the paper says, how it was conducted, and try and find any practical takeaways. In this episode, we're going to be discussing a paper called Bullying in Students with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, analyzing Student Social Status, and Student Teacher Relationship Quality. So, a lot to talk about here, and I'm sure this is going to relate to a lot of people. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at https://HackingYourADHD.com/261 https://tinyurl.com/56rvt9fr - Unconventional Organisation Affiliate link https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk - YouTube https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD - Patreon    

Hey team, Today, we've got a heavy but necessary topic. We're looking at what happens when ADHD goes unsupported and the stakes get high. In this episode, I'm joined by Sarah Templeton, a counselor, activist, and author of The Prison Counselor. Sarah spent years working inside the UK prison system before getting her own diagnosis at age 51, which led to some massive realizations about the people she was working with. In our conversation today, we look at the startling prevalence of neurodiversity in the prison population and how a lack of diagnosis fuels a cycle of reoffending. We explore the stark reality of the "school to prison pipeline" and the specific ADHD traits that land people in legal trouble. It's not just about being a trouble-maker, but about impulsivity, risk-taking, and a heightened sense of justice. And I know that last one might sound counterintuitive, but don't worry, we get into that in the episode. This is an incredibly important episode to me because I believe that it's one of my jobs to use my privilege as someone with an audience to highlight the struggles in our community from some of our most underserved populations. And our ADHD siblings in prison are definitely a prime example of people who had the system fail them and are now paying the price. Before we get started, I also just wanted to mention that there is some talk of suicide in this episode, so if that is something you are sensitive about, I just wanted to let you know. If you'd like to follow along on the show notes page, you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/260 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD This Episode's Top Tips While we often associate trouble with malice, many people with ADHD end up in legal or social trouble purely because they reacted impulsively to perceived unfairness. Recognizing this trait as a heightened sense of justice can help you pause before intervening in situations that might escalate. Severe boredom can physically feel like pain for the ADHD brain, leading to high-risk behaviors just to feel something. Acknowledging that boredom is a trigger state can help you find safer dopamine outlets before you do something regrettable. When trying to tame an addiction, traditional reduction techniques often fail for ADHD brains because of our "all or nothing" dopamine response. If you are struggling with substance use, ensure your support team understands ADHD, as "just one drink" can trigger a massive dopamine cascade that neurotypical advice doesn't account for. Work on reframing the idea of an excuse vs a reason. If we can understand that our brain wiring causes certain behaviors (like risk-taking), this isn't an excuse to keep doing them; it's the explanation that gives us permission to stop hating ourselves and seek out tools and strategies that can help manage behaviors.  

This week, we are rebroadcasting an insightful earlier episode featuring Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist with a PhD in clinical psychology. She focuses on mental health, ADHD, and various psychological disorders. She is triple board-certified and is a tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University, where she teaches graduate-level psychology. In our conversation, we delve into how ADHD can impact self-esteem, the importance of understanding your brain's wiring, and practical ways to manage attention and relationships. Dr. Ho shares insights into how cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help train your attention and how reframing your thoughts can reduce self-sabotage. Dr. Ho also shares some of her favorite strategies for improving focus, managing emotional regulation, and using mindfulness to tackle ADHD challenges. Whether you're struggling with self-sabotage or finding it hard to keep up with tasks, this episode is packed with tips that will help you thrive with ADHD. If you'd like to send me a question answer on the show feel free to head over to hackingyouradhd.com/contact and click the orange button Support me on Patreon Ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/197

Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD. I'm your host, William Curb, and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD Brain. Today I'm joined by Skye Waterson for our research recap series. In this series, we take a look at a single research paper and dive into what the paper says, how it's conducted, and try and find any practical takeaways. In this episode we're gonna be discussing a paper called The Role of Executive Function in mediating the relationship between Adult ADHD symptoms and hyperfocus in university students. Now I think this is a really interesting subject and how about we just jump right into this. Can you tell me a little bit about this paper? If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at https://HackingYourADHD.com/259 https://tinyurl.com/56rvt9fr - Unconventional Organisation Affiliate link https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk - YouTube https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD - Patreon

Hey team! This week, I'm joined by Rae Jacobson, journalist, ADHD expert, and host of Hyperfocus at Understood.org, to talk about how we make sense of ADHD when it feels like it's everywhere. Rae has spent over a decade reporting on mental health and neurodiversity, and she brings that blend of research, lived experience, and sharp humor that makes big ideas actually relatable. This was honestly one of my favorite episodes that I've recorded this year - while Rae and I were brainstorming ideas that two ADHD podcasters could talk about, I think we hit on a very salient topic, the over-pathologizing of ADHD within the community. While we love to find all the things that are from our ADHD, it's also true that not everything is because of our ADHD. In our conversation today, we dig into the ways ADHD often gets pathologized, how everything from losing your keys to getting a song stuck in your head can get blamed on ADHD, and why that can actually make it harder to understand what's really going on. We get into "symptoms of symptoms," the tricky overlap between ADHD and other conditions like depression and anxiety, and why community spaces like Reddit can both help and hurt when it comes to self-diagnosis. And of course, we also go down a few very ADHD side paths about clutter, shame spirals, and why having too many pens is basically a personality trait at this point. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/258 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD This Episode's Top Tips When considering what is and isn't ADHD, it's important to remember the context of ADHD as a chronic condition - as in it's something that we deal with all the time. Everyone is going to lose their keys every once in a while, but with ADH,D the difference is in the pattern and the impact. Without the systems I have in place to make sure my keys go into the same place every time, I would be losing them every day. Not everything annoying is an ADHD trait; sometimes it's just being a human in a busy, overstimulating world. While there are a lot of comorbidities with ADHD, if we try to label everything as ADHD, we lose the ability to tell what actually needs attention. Instead of asking, "Is this ADHD?", try asking, "Is this making my life unmanageable?" That's the line that separates "normal chaos" from "I might need help with this." But when ADHD does show up alongside things like depression, anxiety, or trauma, those conditions can feed into each other. You need to figure out who's driving the bus. Treating the wrong "driver" means you'll burn energy fixing the wrong problem. So before building systems or blaming ADHD, step back and ask what's actually behind the behavior.  

As many of us navigate shifting routines and rising expectations right now, it's a perfect time to revisit this affirming conversation with Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright. Together we unpack what it means to stop fighting yourself, lean into your strengths, and build supportive systems that make life feel lighter, not harder. A great listen if you need a dose of ADHD-friendly self-compassion this week. Unapologetically ADHD: A Step-by-Step Framework For Everyday Planning On Your Terms by Nikki Kinzer & Pete D. Wright If you'd like to send me a question answer on the show feel free to head over to hackingyouradhd.com/contact and click the orange button Support me on Patreon Ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/195 This Episode's Top Tips  Embrace your ADHD and plan your day around it to avoid unrealistic expectations and the ensuing shame. When looking for a system, we need to recognize that no one-size-fits-all tool exists. Try to avoid the trap of looking for the best options; focus instead on eliminating the worst options to simplify decision-making. When we recognize the importance of revisiting and adjusting our systems regularly rather than constantly switching to new tools, it'll help us acknowledge that every tool or system will have days it fails. With that in mind, we can focus on embracing resilience so we can get back on track when things do go awry.

Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD. I'm your host, William Curb, and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD brain. Today, I'm joined by Skye Waterson for another Research Recap. In this series, we explore a single research paper—what it says, how it was conducted, and what practical takeaways we can find. In this episode, we're discussing a paper called "Shifting the Focus: Exploring Video Accessibility Strategies and Challenges for People with ADHD." It sounds a little out there—and honestly, this paper is a bit different. So Skye, want to start us off? If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at https://HackingYourADHD.com/257 https://tinyurl.com/56rvt9fr - Unconventional Organisation Affiliate link https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk - YouTube https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD - Patreon

Hey team! This week, I'm talking with Jami Shapiro, ADHD coach, founder of Silver Linings Transitions, and host of the Grandma Has ADHD podcast. Jami has also recently published her book This Explains So Much, which dives into the world of undiagnosed ADHD in people over 50. Jami brings a wealth of experience from her work helping older adults downsize and organize their lives. In our conversation, we dig into what aging looks like with ADHD, from memory changes to social isolation, and how curiosity, compassion, and the power of community can make a huge difference. We get into the challenges of different stages of life, how ADHD can be mistaken for dementia, and what it means to build understanding across generations. I think this is definitely an episode for everyone, as no matter how you slice it, we're all going to be facing these issues someday, and because of the genetic nature of ADHD, you likely already have someone in your life dealing with these issues. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page, you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/256 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD This Episode's Top Tips Many symptoms that get labeled as "senior moments" (forgetting names, losing track of appointments, or misplacing items) can actually be longstanding ADHD traits that are finally being noticed. Forgetfulness that comes from ADHD doesn't need memory-care protocols; instead, it needs ADHD strategies such as reminders, structure, external cues, and tools like smartwatches or calendars. As we age, we can risk drifting into isolation, and this can be especially true with ADHD. We already struggle with time blindness, motivation, and this can easily lead to dropping the ball on keeping up with friends and family. This means it's important that we're scheduling regular check-ins with friends and doing things like joining a hobby group. We can revisit our relationships and recognize that your parents (or kids) with ADHD were just trying to do their best; reframing these patterns can transform your relationship. Instead of replaying the same old fights, you start from a place of compassion. It's not about forgiving the past; it's about giving context and finding a way to move forward with the relationship.  

Hey team! Today I'm talking with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish (Dall Gleesh), a clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and the author of You, Your Husband & His Mother. She has spent almost two decades helping couples get unstuck from repeating the same old arguments and start building relationships that actually work in real life. And she also runs her own podcast, Dear Dr. Tracy. In our conversation, we get into how our relationships don't exist in a vacuum, how family expectations shape our decisions, and why it's so important to be on the same team with your partner, especially when you're juggling extended family, ADHD, and a few generational differences in "how things are done." We also get into setting values-based boundaries, navigating conflict without turning it into a blame game, and using small moments to rebuild connection when everything feels off balance. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/255 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD This Episode's Top Tips Work on shifting from "Me vs. You" to "Us vs. the Problem" mentality. This shift in mindset can completely change how a couple navigates conflict. By reframing the conflict, you turn what could've been another argument into a shared problem. And I do want to add on here as well that this is a learned skill and takes time to develop, but is well worth doing. Boundaries aren't about controlling someone else's behavior; they're about choosing how you'll respond. We often sabotage our own boundaries by overexplaining them, giving people justifications that sound like permission to debate our choices. You can't stop someone from knocking, but you can decide whether you'll open the door. Try building a "Roadmap" of each other's regulation styles. While everyone has a different way of dealing with stress (and with ADHD, emotional regulation can be unpredictable), knowing them in advance can help prevent some frustrating moments.