Ep 33: The "No Rules" Illusion — When Freedom Feels Safer Than Control

🎙️ Hey guys! In episode 33, we continue to peel back the layers of the onion as we revisit our feelings around separate play—especially rules vs. no rules. Our conversation dives into how our understanding of ethical non-monogamy keeps evolving—not just as a lifestyle, but as a powerful relationship lab where radical honesty deepens intimacy.We ask: Is wanting to witness each other’s separate play 👀about being aroused? Or does it just feel more safe? 🛟 Does giving someone total freedom make the giver feel more loved—or more replaceable? From the hotwife dynamic to jealousy-as-turn-on, to the tough question“What if my partner starts wanting more from a play partner?” 😳As a bonus, Anna shares her revealing post-processing thoughts in an addendum at the end of the episode.We also, talk about what different types of orgasms can mean with full-time partners vs. play partners 😳, and explore whether “no rules” is a radical form of love? Or just clever emotional armor?In this episode we also share a preview of our Nicaragua retreat for ENM newbies! See the FB group for deatails.If you’re in the swirl of learning what's next, this one’s for you. 💥📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/IG: @HackingLove_Podcast

🎙️ We’re back with Part 2 of our messy, honest unpacking of our recent separate play experience—because after sleeping on it, we definitely had more to say. 😅 We talk through everything from compersion to comparison, fairness in play, and what happens when that “good girl” programming meets a slutty experiment gone sideways. We get real about jealousy, 'justice', triggers from past relationships, and what it means to truly support your partner and yourself in ethical non-monogamy.We also hash out next steps for our upcoming play party—Can separate play ever feel fair? Can Aiden handle DJ'ing while I play with someone else on the mattress in front of him? (Spoiler: maybe 😳) Can we create space for both of us to follow our bliss without losing each other in the process? This one’s full of emotion, laughter, horny hypotheticals, and surprisingly useful bathroom epiphanies. 💭🛁👀ANNOUNCING: Our First Open Relationship Retreat!Are you open-curious but not sure where to start? Still in the “just listening to podcasts” phase of your journey? We’ve got something special for you! Join us July 10-14 2025 in Nicaragua for a first-of-its-kind retreat designed for newbies and the open-curious—a no-pressure space to explore open relationships, ask questions, and connect with like-minded people.See the Facebook Group for more details!📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/IG: @HackingLove_Podcast

This week, we accidentally-on-purpose found ourselves back at the mic after a wild ride of separate play, compersion, confusion, and emotional curveballs. What started as a sexy conference fantasy between Anna and Aiden quickly turned into real-life challenges involving a surprise hotel hookup, sexting gone feral, and a lesson in how one spicy message can unravel (or ignite) a night. Think: cheating kinks, hotel bars, almost-revenge sex, and way too many emojis.We dig into what it’s like navigating fairness in play, why “do what you want” can sometimes mask deeper feelings, and how emotional honesty (even when it’s messy) is key to keeping it hot and healthy. We talk compersion vs. cuck, why texting during separate play can derail the vibe, and how we repaired a potential disaster with curiosity, good communication, and late-night honesty. Buckle up, babes—it’s vulnerable, raw, and very us. Fire emoji not optional.Listen now—and bring your feels. xoxo, Anna & Aiden📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/

🎧 Join us as we kick off Season 2 with a celebration of how far we've come—into deeper love, more freedom, and whole new levels of compersion (that warm feeling of being genuinely happy when your partner is happy—even when it’s with someone else 🥰). We share what it was like attending a spontaneous, sexy strip-club wedding (yes, really), where I found myself locking lips with Superman while Aiden was happily smooching Wonder Woman. It was a moment that showcased the true freedom of our relationship—no expectations, just pure trust, love, and FUN.I also discuss about the joy of exploring my more dominant, teasing side with other men 😏 and how we’re both learning to lean into new friendships—platonic and otherwise—without tension or fear. There's even a heartwarming moment where I make a new male friend while on vacation, proving that platonic connections can be just as meaningful.Of course next week I'm sure I'll be back to jealous mate-guarding 🤣😭, but for now we're in a really happy spot, ready for the next challenge to spur on new conversations!💫 xoxo Anna📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/

While Aiden was out of town, I found myself on an unexpected solo adventure—one that turned into a surprising lesson in compersion, communication, and just how much freedom turns us on. What started as an innocent night out with a lifestyle friend quickly had me questioning: was this a casual hangout or something more? Meanwhile, Aiden was miles away, glued to Find My, spiraling into a mix of jealousy and excitement—what we now call jealous-ited—where the uncertainty of my night made him want me even more. 😈🔥But the real twist? The more we let go of rules, the more intimate and free we feel—with each other and with those we choose to explore with. By the end of the night, I had a whole new level of clarity on what I want, and Aiden? Let’s just say when he got home, he definitely made me pay for being such a naughty little tease. 😏💥Tune in for the full story of how trust, compersion, and a little bit of jealousy are making our love (and sex life) hotter than ever. 🚀💋.xoxo, Anna & Aiden 📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/

What happens when you really let go of rules about relationships, masculinity, and desire? In this episode, Aiden opens up about his journey from traditional monogamy to non-monogamy—what surprised and challenged him, and how the lifestyle has transformed his confidence in ways he never expected. 👀💪We break down the unspoken pressure men feel in social settings to protect or assert ownership over "their women" , how seeing your partner flirting can go from a threat to a turn-on, and the unexpected ways open relationships actually strengthen trust.If you’ve ever wondered what the lifestyle is like from the male perspective, this episode is for you. 🎧🔥xoxo, Anna & Aiden 📩 Email us: [email protected] Love Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1YFEEPwYeB/

What happens when you realize the label you’ve been using might not fit anymore? In this episode, we take a hard look at where we really belong in the ENM world—are we swingers, open, monogamish, or something in between? Where might you fall? 🤔💭From redefining our play style to unpacking hidden fantasies (like Anna's cheating kink 👀🔥), this conversation is raw and real. If you’ve ever questioned your desires, struggled to speak up in the moment, or found yourself re-evaluating what you really want from non-monogamy, you won’t want to miss this one! 🎙️💡Thank you for listening!❤️ Anna & Aiden📩 Email us: [email protected]'re re-invigorating our stalled Facebook group! Help us keep the conversation going!https://www.facebook.com/share/g/18hLDr987f/

In this episode, we start with a totally relatable email from a listener asking for advice on how to approach the topic of opening her marriage with her (currently reluctant) husband, whom she adores.. 💌 Her questions are likely some that many of you have too--especially if you're new to the idea of opening up.🙋🏽‍♂️ What happens when it's the MAN who's hesitant? (HINT: The approach is the same regardless of which parter it is!)💗 How can you create a safe space for conversation without pressure and create more honesty and intimacy in a marriage--regardless of whether you play right away (or ever!)?😰 How do you deal with jealousy and the fear of losing your partner?😱 And god forbid, what if you run into someone you know at a lifestyle event?We dive deep into real talk on what worked for us, including how to set boundaries, build trust, and avoid common pitfalls.💥 Key moments: Aiden and Anna both share how the initial fears they had when opening up have shifted, and Anna discusses her curiosity about separate dating. Plus, we explore playful strategies (like card games and fantasy discussions) that can open up intimacy and turn up the heat, without pressure to involve others--yet.🌟✨📲 Don’t forget to leave us a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review to help us reach more listeners!Email us at [email protected] with your questions—we’d love to hear from you!You can also request to join our private FB Group here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1B2EEfEQKA/

🎉 Hey Fam! 🔥 We’re back with Episode 25 where we share some unexpected lessons about boundaries and connection.Ever felt overwhelmed by lifestyle expectations? 😱 Same here. Anna discovers the perfect force field for anxiety at play parties! 🦫 Meanwhile, Aidan shares insights from his rave days about “cuddle puddle” culture, where physical touch doesn’t always mean sex—a revelation that challenges Anna's perspective on what it means to cuddle. Or is Aiden or just adorably clueless about women’s signals? 🤔Sexual boundaries are complex, and our podcast proves everyone’s experience is unique. Healthy boundaries strengthen relationships by creating mutual understanding and respect. Consent and comfort are ALWAYS the priority.Would you feel comfortable at a LS party like this? Is it different for men and women? Let us know at [email protected] 💕. 📧✨

Ever wonder where you land on the "lifestyle spectrum"? In this episode, we share specific questions to help determine what kind of approach may apply to those interested in the lifestyle. Join us as we explore the span of relationship models from strict monogamy to polyamory, as we share our personal anecdotes along the way.Key highlights include intriguing discussions on jealousy, attachment styles, and cultivating deeper intimacy. Plus, don't miss the wild update on Aiden's priapism incident and the unexpected outcome!Email us at [email protected] ❤️