Vol. 49 - "A Match Made in Wherever"

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) give BOORMAN AND THE DEVIL their due, hippopotamuse upon HUNGRY, stowaweigh in on MUTINY, mayor-may-not praise ANIMALS, bare witness to the raw footage of BLUE FILM, flag CLICKBAIT, poke the hive of COLONY, watch THE DEVIL’S MOUTH cave in, answer the Steinbeckoning call of EAST OF EDEN, hold on HOPE, welcome(?) THE INCOMER, branch out into THE MAGIC FARAWAY TREE, slide away with OASIS: DON’T LOOK BACK IN ANGER, reveal whether SONG SUNG BLUE is a Diamond in the rough, drag ourselves through STOP! THAT! TRAIN!, study the Tedly UNABOMBER, revolt against THE UPRISING, get steaming over VERITY and determine if THE WEIGHT is Gold or Standard.AND THEN... Jordan and I (still Sam, lamentably) sprint northward along our top ten films of the 2000s because, simply, we can.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) get Sirius about THE DOG STARS, get our licks in on ICE CREAM MAN, shoot off about offshoot STUART FAILS TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, bring brotherly love to REACHER - SEASON 4, touch upon NEAGLEY (sorry, Neagley), train our laser pointers on FALL 2: DEADPOINT, Cape Codify our take on TONY, reckon with the Gal power of THE RUNNER, cis-tematically trans-ect the sub-text of TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA, wrap our braaains around RESIDENT EVIL and give 40 whacks to MONSTER: THE LIZZIE BORDEN STORY - correction, 40,000,000,000,000.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) rev up for THE GRAND TOUR, determine whether THE SHARDS is Hollywood or Follywood, fly through MAYDAY, shout about THE WHISPER MAN, Turner phrase over ONE NIGHT ONLY, see which way the wind blows with PRESSURE, speak unto LEVITICUS, ‘when you bring an offering to the Lords, bring as your offering something good’, seek Grace with FURIOUS, grieve THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD, decide how to peg I WANT YOUR SEX, unleash Jurassic snark on THE END OF OAK STREET and make our ruling on COYOTE VS. ACME.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) get crabby with the demigod Maui and the omnigodless MOANA, train our Specronomicons on EVIL DEAD BURN, get sealed into THE LAST HOUSE, look for the Joy in LUCKY, determine whether PINOCCHIO: UNSTRUNG is dead wood, get talkie with MINIONS & MONSTERS, accept THE INVITE to Holland for SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY and lose at least eight lives to ALLEY CATS.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) say, ‘Hi, we’re Video Village, welcome to JACKASS: BEST AND LAST!’, tuck into SACCHARINE, Zor-Elocute our thoughts on SUPERGIRL, decree whether ANIMAL FARM is ill Orwell and Greek out on THE ODYSSEY.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) rap on about CALIFORNIA SCHEMIN’, give the once-over to THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2 (in our fashion), riff on POWER BALLAD, show our ivories for TUNER, limn an outline of BACKROOMS, examine Inde cinema with OBSESSION, Scream over SCARY MOVIE, determine how many stars to award THE BEAR - SEASON 5, artfully martial our thoughts on THE FURIOUS, discuss our techaway from TOY STORY 5 and Hammer CITIZEN VIGILANTE. Into cold, Europe ground.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) share astronotes AMONG US, LGBTQuery the merits of TIP TOE, conduct NIRVANNA THE BAND THE SHOW THE MOVIE the review, swing our prattle bat at MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, put out a bounty on STAR WARS: THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU, impose the hatriarchy upon LADIES FIRST, James Boar into CLARKSON’S FARM - SEASON 5, trail THE SHEEP DETECTIVES on the bleat, folk around and find out with HOKUM, tell the smooth criminality of MICHAEL to beat it, blow the whistle on DISCLOSURE DAY and take up temporary residence in WIDOW’S BAY... at least we hope it’s temporary...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) start on a wing and a prayer with PROPELLER ONE-WAY NIGHT COACH, Rue EUPHORIA - SEASON 3, engage in MORTAL KOMBAT II as we contemplate the Babalities of evil, orcastrate an appraisal of KILLER WHALE, breach Homelander security with THE BOYS - SEASON 5, get Apepleptic over LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, Pe-lé into BALLS UP, offer a public investigation of SPIDER-NOIR and scrutinise the sketchy SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE UK.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) feel our time slip away in THE BOROUGHS, grapple with violent male psychosexuality (and review HALF MAN), remember HONEY BUNCH (or do we?), talk OF... for MARGO’S GOT MONEY TROUBLES, speak words of wisdom to MOTHER MARY, (she)riff on NORMAL, offer stimulation OFF CAMPUS, Sith through STAR WARS: MAUL - SHADOW LORD and peruse THE TESTAMENTS as we ponder future wives. AND THEN... Jordan and I (still Sam, regrettably) run down... run up? Yeah, run up. We run up our top ten TV shows of the 2010s for reasons disclosed within... or upon? Yeah, upon. Sheer self-indulgence... or hubris... or unchecked listphilia? Yeah. Enjoy! Or don’t? No, do, do.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) Excise LEGENDS from our list (as is Custom), go Brazil nuts like a MAN ON FIRE, reveal whether parting from MINT was such sweet sorrow, Putin a review of THE WIZARD OF THE KREMLIN, get a soulonoscopy with ANDRÉ IS AN IDIOT, paint with words our impression of THE CHRISTOPHERS, apply ICE to DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN - SEASON 2, mount APEX for some tough love, visit New England via Old Wales with ROOSTER, light the FUZE on fuse... wait, wrap our quarter-octopus arms around REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES, get into THE DRAMA like a coupla straight shooters and reckon with the animals that made KEVIN.