368: Why We Stay Stuck

The episode begins with an exploration of how betrayal can shatter confidence and disrupt life, affecting relationships, self-worth, and trust.    Main Discussion:  The concept of confidence is unpacked, describing it as a quality earned through overcoming uncomfortable experiences and reflecting on them to grow stronger.  Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and observations about opportunities lost due to a lack of confidence and the regret that follows.  A detailed examination of how betrayal specifically impacts confidence, leading to self-doubt and a reinforced cycle of negative beliefs about oneself.  The process of rebuilding confidence is discussed as taking on challenges, reflecting on the outcomes, and gradually making new decisions that reinforce a positive self-view.    Key Points:  Definition of Confidence: Confidence is viewed as a result of surviving and reflecting on challenging experiences.  Impact of Betrayal: Betrayal uniquely shatters confidence by making one question their judgments and the intentions of others.  Rebuilding Strategy: Confidence can be rebuilt by confronting new challenges, reflecting on these experiences, and adjusting behaviors to reinforce positive self-perceptions.    Stages of Rebuilding Confidence:  Dr. Debi outlines The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of each Stage in recovering and building back confidence.  Examples include setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and embracing new opportunities to test one's limits and capabilities.    Practical Advice:  Listeners are encouraged to identify and take on one new challenge that can help build their confidence. This could be anything from wearing something different, starting a new activity, or engaging in a new conversation.    Conclusion:  The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to share their own experiences with rebuilding confidence after betrayal and a reminder to check out the resources available at The PBT Institute.    Additional Resources:  The PBT Institute for further support and resources on dealing with betrayal and building confidence: https://thepbtinstitute.com   PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/  

In this enlightening episode, we dive deep into the complexities of handling life post-betrayal and navigating the path to divorce with financial experts Becky Wuest Creavin and Patti Janco Tupper. Both speakers share invaluable advice on dealing with the unexpected challenges that come with becoming suddenly single, particularly after a betrayal. Here's what we covered:  Understanding Betrayal and Its Consequences: Discussion on how betrayal impacts relationships and when it might lead to divorce. The importance of understanding whether reconciliation or separation is the right path, and the significance of establishing a plan if divorce seems imminent.  Financial Preparedness: Patti and Becky emphasize the crucial steps for financial preparedness, especially for women. Key actions include understanding your assets and liabilities, establishing credit, and knowing your financial advisors. They discuss the importance of creating a comprehensive financial picture before making any major decisions.  Immediate Steps Post-Divorce Announcement: How to cope when you are blindsided by divorce. Practical advice on assessing personal spending, understanding the costs of maintaining assets, and recognizing personal financial habits.  Choosing the Right Legal Help: Tips on selecting the appropriate attorney for your divorce, considering whether a more aggressive approach (a "shark") or mediation is suitable for your situation. They highlight the balance between getting fair settlements and avoiding excessive legal fees.  Post-Divorce Financial Management: The significance of revising wills, insurance policies, and beneficiary designations post-divorce. It's crucial to update these documents to reflect your new status and ensure that your financial and legal affairs are in order.  Long-Term Financial Security: Advice on consulting with financial advisors to ensure long-term viability of your financial plans. They stress the importance of understanding whether you can sustain your lifestyle post-divorce.  Success Stories: Becky and Patti share inspiring success stories of clients who navigated through the financial turmoil of divorce to achieve stability and confidence in managing their finances independently.  Final Thoughts: Encouragement to seek help and ask questions without feeling embarrassed about lacking financial knowledge. The importance of being proactive, informed, and engaged in managing your finances, especially in times of personal upheaval.  Where to Learn More: For more insights and advice from Becky West Creavin and Patti Janco Tupper, visit their LinkedIn profiles.  This episode provides essential strategies for anyone facing the daunting prospect of sudden singleness due to betrayal, ensuring they come out stronger and more financially savvy on the other side.  Guest Contact Information:  Becky Wuest Creavin: LinkedIn  Patti Janco Tupper: LinkedIn  https://www.linkedin.com/in/coripatti/  [email protected]  

In this enlightening episode, Dr. Debi dives into the persistent struggles many face long after experiencing betrayal, challenging the notion that time alone heals wounds. Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, the discussion revolves around the ineffective coping mechanisms and the essential Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, providing a deep understanding of the healing process.  Key Topics Covered:  Misconception of Time in Healing:  Exploring why the passage of time is not a reliable healer of betrayal.  Discussion on how we can remain stuck in Stage three of healing indefinitely.    Ineffectiveness of New Relationships:  Addressing the false belief that starting new relationships can mend old wounds.  Insights into why feelings of distrust and anxiety persist in new interactions.    The Role of Beliefs in Healing:  The significance of identifying and challenging deeply ingrained beliefs to facilitate recovery.  Personal reflection on how unexamined beliefs shape behaviors and impede healing.    Personal Story: Overcoming Overcommitment:  Dr. Debi shares a personal story about managing a busy life with family and work, and the realization that slowing down was necessary for well-being.    The Three Groups Who Don’t Heal:  An in-depth look at the specific behaviors and mindsets of three groups identified in a study who failed to heal from betrayal.  Discussion on how clinging to victimhood, avoiding emotional pain, and failing to impose consequences on the betrayer prevent healing.    Transformation vs. Resilience:  Differentiating between resilience (restoring the old) and transformation (creating anew).  Emphasizing the need for radical changes and the potential for growth post-trauma.    Strategies for Healing:  Practical advice on moving through the stages of healing from betrayal.  Encouragement to undertake personal transformations and reevaluate one’s beliefs and coping strategies.    Conclusion:  The episode ends with a powerful call to view betrayal not just as a painful event, but as a pivotal opportunity for personal growth and transformation. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own healing journeys and consider making the bold changes necessary to not only recover but to thrive.  Next Steps:  For those looking to deepen their understanding of the topics discussed, additional resources and links are provided in the podcast description.  Listeners are encouraged to subscribe for more insightful discussions on personal growth and overcoming life’s challenges.  This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to navigate the complex path from betrayal to breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of active engagement in one’s own healing process.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/      Explore the journey from betrayal to breakthrough in this podcast episode, where we debunk the myth that time heals all wounds and delve into why new relationships often fail to mend past betrayals. Discover the crucial stages of healing and the power of transforming deeply ingrained beliefs. Join us for insights on overcoming the challenges of betrayal and turning trauma into an opportunity for personal growth. 

In this episode, we dive into a common but limiting mindset: resignation. Resignation leads many of us to accept less than we deserve, believing "this is just the way it is" and nothing can change. In this episode, Dr. Debi shares personal anecdotes and insights on how our beliefs shape our reality and how challenging and changing these beliefs can lead to significant transformation in our lives.  Key Points Discussed:  The Power of Resignation: Explore how resignation can limit our potential by convincing us to accept our current circumstances without question.  Mindset and Reality: Learn how our mindset, particularly beliefs rooted in resignation, can shape our experiences and outcomes in life.  Personal Anecdote: Dr. Debi shares a personal story about constantly being stopped for security checks while traveling, highlighting how a resigned belief led to a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Rewiring Mindset: Discover strategies for challenging and changing limiting beliefs, focusing on a practical approach involving a mindset shift from resignation to empowerment.  Beliefs vs. Facts: Understand the distinction between beliefs and facts, and how questioning our beliefs can lead to growth and change.  Practical Tools for Change: Introduction of simple, practical tools like using a rubber band or hair tie to snap on your wrist as a reminder to question your beliefs and thoughts.  The Role of Resilience in Overcoming Resignation: Insights into how resilience and a proactive approach to dealing with "weeds" (negative thoughts and beliefs) can nurture the "garden" of your mind, leading to a healthier, more fulfilling life.  Transformation Through Belief Examination: An encouragement to examine and question every belief, especially those inherited or unchallenged, to create deliberate and intentional transformation.  Episode Highlights:  Rewiring Your Mindset Experiment: Dr. Debi's experiment with changing a specific belief about being stopped at airport security showcases the power of mindset change and its impact on reality.  Hard Now, Easy Later Philosophy: Discusses the concept of enduring short-term discomfort for long-term ease, especially relevant in the process of healing and personal growth.  Betrayal and Belief Systems: Touches on how beliefs formed from experiences of betrayal can significantly impact your life and the importance of consciously creating a new version of oneself post-betrayal.  Practical Exercise for Changing Beliefs: The use of a physical reminder to snap out of limiting beliefs and the importance of constantly questioning the validity and utility of our beliefs.  Resources Mentioned:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com A community and resource for people going through betrayal, offering support, insights, and tools for healing and transformation.  We invite you to reflect on your beliefs, especially those that may stem from resignation. Challenge yourself to identify one belief this week that you can question and reframe. Remember, every belief you change is a step closer to the life you desire and deserve. If you're seeking support or more strategies on transforming your life post-betrayal, consider exploring the resources available at The PBT Institute.  Join us next time as we continue to explore the power of mindset, resilience, and transformation on your journey to becoming your best self. 

In this episode, we dive into the complex process of making decisions, emphasizing the impact our current state has on the choices we make. We explore the idea that the Stage of healing from betrayal we find ourselves in - whether it be Stage three, four, or five - significantly influences our decisions, urging listeners to strive for Stage five, where decisions come from a place of clarity and strength.  We discuss real-life examples from our members at the PBT®  (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, where people in the midst of healing from their betrayals are also often dealing with tough decisions around managing relationships and raising children post-betrayal. The strategy of 'playing out' each decision and checking in with our body response is suggested as a means to guide the decision-making process.  The concept of making decisions as if you’re already in Stage five is introduced, illustrating how this perspective can simplify decision-making and align actions with our highest self. This leads to a broader discussion about the consequences of decisions over time, the tendency to resist change, and the importance of envisioning and working towards the 'Stage five' version of ourselves.  We touch upon the personal journey of healing from betrayal and how this influences decision-making, sharing Dr. Debi’s own experience with pursuing a PhD in the midst of personal upheaval.  Finally, the episode provides actionable insights on how to begin aligning with the 'Stage five' version of ourselves immediately, regardless of the stage we are currently in. Dr. Debi encourages us to adopt small, intentional actions that reflect the higher self they aspire to be, both personally and professionally.  In closing, listeners are reminded to check in with their 'Stage five' selves to speed up the journey through the Stages from betrayal to breakthrough, turning the focus to intentionality in decision-making.  Key Points Discussed:  The influence of healing Stages on decision-making  Strategies for effective decision-making during tough times  The impact of long-term decision-making on personal growth and change  Personal anecdotes highlighting the journey of growth post-betrayal  Practical steps to align daily actions with one's highest self    Remember:  Decision-making is a reflection of our current state, but it also shapes our future. By envisioning our 'Stage five' selves, we can make choices that propel us toward the breakthrough we seek.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Reclaim program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/   PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ 

Welcome to today's episode where we dive into a nuanced and often overlooked form of betrayal: self-betrayal. This conversation talks about the complex relationship between betrayal by others and the acts of betrayal we commit against ourselves. Our exploration will provide insights into the manifestations of self-betrayal, the underlying reasons behind this behavior, and strategies for fostering self-awareness and healing.  Key Points Discussed:  The Nature of Self-Betrayal: We begin by defining self-betrayal as the act of going against your best interest, despite knowing better. Examples range from harmful dietary habits to engaging in relationships or activities that lead to negative emotions and outcomes.  Common Examples of Self-Betrayal:  - Continuously consuming unhealthy foods despite being aware of their negative impact.  -Watching content that induces anxiety and fear.  - Maintaining one-sided relationships where there is more taking than giving.    Understanding the 'Why' Behind Self-Betrayal: It's crucial to recognize that self-betrayal is not a reflection of your character but rather a consequence of lacking the necessary tools, strategies, self-esteem or more. This segment aims to shift your perspective from self-blame to understanding and compassion.    The Role of Awareness in Addressing Self-Betrayal: We emphasize the importance of recognizing how you feel after an act of self-betrayal as your personal way to know if this is what you’re doing. This awareness is a critical step towards change.  Personal Stories of Self-Betrayal: Drawing from Dr. Debi’s experience and insights from TEDx talks on Post Betrayal Syndrome®  and self-sabotage, we share stories that highlight how self-betrayal can manifest in professional settings, personal development, and daily habits.  The Consequences of Self-Betrayal:  Emotional and physical tolls of self-sabotaging behaviors.  The challenge of facing and moving through discomfort and unfamiliar situations.    Strategies for Overcoming Self-Betrayal:  Identifying and understanding the root causes of self-betrayal.  Making decisions based on what "stinks less" to foster growth and self-improvement.  The significance of advancing to Stage Five for clarity and strength.    Final Thoughts: The episode ends with an invitation to reflect on areas of their life where self-betrayal might be occurring. Through journaling and introspection, we encourage identifying actions and mindsets that align more closely with your highest and best self.  Calls to Action:  Reflect on your own experiences with self-betrayal. How does it manifest in your life? What steps can you take towards healing and self-compassion?  Share your thoughts and breakthroughs with us. Your journey could inspire others to recognize and address their own patterns of self-betrayal.    Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for our next episode where we'll explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth and relationships. Discover how opening up about our struggles can lead to deeper connections and a stronger sense of self.  Thank You for Listening! We hope this discussion on self-betrayal has offered valuable insights and practical advice for navigating this challenging aspect of personal development. Join us next time as we continue to explore pathways to a more authentic and fulfilled life.    Links:  TEDx: Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?  TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself   The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com    

In this insightful episode, Vanessa Cardenas shares her personal journey of navigating betrayal, not only in her intimate relationships but also in the workplace. As a Certified PBT Support Group Host and Certified PBT coach, Vanessa brings a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and understanding to the discussion on how betrayal can profoundly impact one's professional life, regardless of whether the betrayal occurred within or outside the work environment.  Key Points Discussed:  Vanessa's Workplace Betrayal: Vanessa recounts her experience of feeling betrayed by her boss at a family-run dot com company, highlighting the emotional impact of unrecognized contributions and the lack of shared profits despite her significant role in the company's success.  The Impact of Personal Betrayal: Vanessa opens up about the devastating effect of her husband's infidelity on her life, marking a clear before and after in her existence. She discusses the emotional turmoil, the sense of loss, and the journey towards healing and self-discovery. Healing Journey: Vanessa emphasizes the importance of seeking help and moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. She shares how embracing her true self and shedding others' expectations were crucial steps in her healing process.  Transformation and Empowerment: Vanessa details her physical transformation, including significant weight loss and changes to her appearance as acts of reclaiming control. She also speaks about the mental and emotional growth she experienced, leading to newfound confidence and self-love.  Workplace Dynamics Post-Betrayal: Vanessa discusses how her betrayals affected her productivity and emotional state at work. She highlights the challenges of maintaining professionalism while dealing with personal turmoil, including brain fog and heightened sensitivity to others' comments.  PBT Corporate Initiative: The episode introduces the PBT Corporate initiative, aimed at supporting individuals in the workplace who are dealing with betrayal. Vanessa's role in this initiative reflects her unique ability to bridge her personal experiences of betrayal with her professional expertise.    Parting Words:  Vanessa encourages listeners to acknowledge their pain, seek support, and embrace the journey of healing and transformation. She highlights the power of self-love, confidence, and the importance of reclaiming one's life after betrayal.  This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, offering hope, practical advice, and a pathway to healing and empowerment.  Connect with Vanessa Cardenas:  https://www.understandingear.com/    https://www.instagram.com/trusted_advisor_for_betrayal/   https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-Cardenas   https://mypbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-hosts-directory/    PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/     Becoming a Certified PBT Coach: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/  Becoming a Certified PBT Support Group Host: https://thepbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-host/  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/  

The episode dives into the profound effects of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace, particularly focusing on the aftermath and symptoms experienced by individuals.  It outlines the experiences shared at the WBENC conference, highlighting the lack of support for dealing with betrayal-related trauma in corporate settings.  The conversation emphasizes the need to address Post Betrayal Syndrome® symptoms to foster healthier work environments and personal growth.    Symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) in the Workplace:  Inability to Trust: 84% of individuals struggle with trust issues, impacting team collaboration and self-confidence.  Resistance to Feedback: Distrust leads to skepticism about intentions behind feedback, hindering professional growth.  Increased Conflict and Misunderstandings: Trust deficits contribute to workplace tension and hinder effective communication.  Extreme Sadness: 80% experience emotional distress, affecting motivation and engagement at work.  Withdrawal from Colleagues: Feelings of hurt and distrust lead to isolation and decreased participation in team activities.  Impact on Creativity and Problem Solving: Emotional distress impairs cognitive functions necessary for innovative thinking and solution generation. Weight Changes and Digestive Issues: Physical manifestations of stress, such as weight fluctuations and digestive problems, further exacerbate workplace challenges.  Anger and Increased Stress: Emotional turmoil leads to anger and heightened stress levels, affecting decision-making and interpersonal relationships.  Loss of Internal Power: Individuals struggle with diminished confidence and autonomy, impacting productivity and collaboration.    Importance of Healing:  The conversation underscores the significance of addressing betrayal-related trauma to regain personal power and professional effectiveness.  It highlights the transformative journey through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, offering hope for recovery and growth.  The PBT Institute is presented as a resource for individuals and organizations seeking support in navigating post-betrayal challenges and fostering resilience.    Conclusion:  These stats show a comprehensive overview of the impact of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace.  It encourages us to recognize the signs of Post Betrayal Syndrome and explore avenues for healing and personal development.    Discover how betrayal and shattered trust affect workplace dynamics in this insightful discussion. Explore the symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, the impact on collaboration and productivity, and the importance of healing for personal and professional growth. Gain valuable insights and resources to navigate through betrayal-related challenges and foster resilience in the workplace.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Corporate Solutions: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ 

In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the complex issues of betrayal, shattered trust, and the journey towards healing. The discussion not only uncovers the painful cycle of repeat betrayals but also offers hope for anyone struggling to move past their traumas. We explore the concept of unhealed betrayals manifesting through different relationships in your life, the profound lessons to be learned from these experiences, and the importance of establishing better boundaries.  Key Points Discussed  Understanding Repeat Betrayals: The phenomenon of experiencing betrayal in various forms across different relationships is highlighted as a sign of an unhealed initial betrayal, offering an opportunity for profound personal growth.  The Opportunity in Betrayal: Rather than seeing betrayal as solely a negative experience, it's framed as a chance to learn valuable life lessons, emphasizing that we’re lovable, worthy, and deserving of better.  Post Betrayal Syndrome®  (PBS®): Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome®, along with feeling rejected, abandoned, or having a lack of confidence, are discussed as common responses to betrayal that need to be addressed for healing.  Roots in Childhood Traumas: The discussion touches on how childhood experiences, particularly traumatic ones, shape our beliefs about ourselves and influence our future relationships and self-worth.  The Power of Belief: The episode explores how beliefs formed from past experiences, especially negative ones, can dictate our life choices and relationships, underscoring the importance of challenging and changing these beliefs.  From Hurt to Healed: Insights from the book "From Hardened to Healed" are shared, offering strategies to identify and change limiting beliefs formed from past betrayals.  The PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute's Role: The episode highlights the work of The PBT Institute, including our signature Betrayal to Breakthrough program and how it helps people navigate through the Five Stages of healing from betrayal.  Importance of New Beliefs for a New Path: The need to adopt new, empowering beliefs to replace the old, limiting ones is stressed as essential for personal growth and healing.    Insights Offered  Healing Requires Awareness: Acknowledging that the first step towards healing is recognizing the beliefs that hold us back and deciding to adopt new, supportive beliefs that align with who we want to be.  Bridges Over Affirmations: A discussion on how "bridges" — realistic, believable statements — can be more effective than traditional affirmations in creating positive change.  The Role of Support in Healing: Emphasizing the importance of seeking the right type of support to navigate the challenging process of changing deeply ingrained beliefs and healing from betrayal.  Life as a Reflection of Beliefs: The episode concludes with a powerful message that our lives are a representation of our beliefs, urging listeners to examine and revise their beliefs to create a life that truly reflects their worth and potential.  Final Thoughts  The episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal to recognize the opportunity for transformation. It encourages listeners to reevaluate their beliefs, seek support, and embark on a path to healing and self-discovery.  Remember, healing from betrayal is not only possible; it's a journey towards becoming a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Join us next time as we continue to explore the paths to healing and personal growth.    Resources:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Trust Again 2.0: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/  Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ 

In this deeply moving episode, we explore a story that powerfully embodies the journey from betrayal to breakthrough, shedding light on the profound impacts of addiction, loss, and recovery on family dynamics, faith, and personal growth.  Guest Story:  Our guest Ken Guidroz shares an incredibly personal and heartbreaking story that may resonate with many of our listeners. His 27-year-old son, struggling with a decade-long opioid addiction, was involved in a tragic accident that led to a man's death. This event not only brought unimaginable challenge and sorrow to the family but also led to profound introspection and transformation.  Challenges Faced:  The personal struggle of dealing with addiction within the family.  The impact of a tragic accident on the guest's son and the entire family.  Navigating the complexities of emotions, including feelings of betrayal by a loved one and even by God.  The effects on his marriage and parenting approach.    Book Highlight:  Ken discusses his award-winning book, "Letters to My Son in Prison," a poignant compilation of letters exchanged between him and his son. The book delves into the themes of betrayal, forgiveness, and the unyielding hope for redemption and transformation.  Key Insights:  Parenting: Reflections on what was learned through this harrowing experience and how it has shaped a new approach to parenting.  Relationship with Son: The path to overcoming a decade of disappointment and addiction through heartfelt communication and support.  Faith Rediscovered: A journey of finding God and spirituality beyond the confines of traditional religious practices.  Marriage Resilience: Insights into how the marriage was tested and the unconventional compromises made to navigate through the toughest times.    This episode is a testament to the power of resilience, the possibility of transformation in the face of despair, and the strength found in forgiveness and renewed faith. Join us as we navigate these delicate topics with compassion, offering hope and insights to those facing similar struggles.    Recommended Resources:  "Letters to My Son in Prison"   kenguidroz.com  Support groups for families dealing with addiction  Counseling and spiritual guidance resources  The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com    Connect with Us:  We invite you to share your thoughts, stories, and insights with us. Connect through our social media channels or email us directly. Your story could be a beacon of hope for someone in the midst of their struggle.  Remember, you're not alone on this journey.