359: Letting Go and Finding Freedom After Betrayal with Karin Louise

In this episode, we dive into the complex process of making decisions, emphasizing the impact our current state has on the choices we make. We explore the idea that the Stage of healing from betrayal we find ourselves in - whether it be Stage three, four, or five - significantly influences our decisions, urging listeners to strive for Stage five, where decisions come from a place of clarity and strength.  We discuss real-life examples from our members at the PBT®  (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, where people in the midst of healing from their betrayals are also often dealing with tough decisions around managing relationships and raising children post-betrayal. The strategy of 'playing out' each decision and checking in with our body response is suggested as a means to guide the decision-making process.  The concept of making decisions as if you’re already in Stage five is introduced, illustrating how this perspective can simplify decision-making and align actions with our highest self. This leads to a broader discussion about the consequences of decisions over time, the tendency to resist change, and the importance of envisioning and working towards the 'Stage five' version of ourselves.  We touch upon the personal journey of healing from betrayal and how this influences decision-making, sharing Dr. Debi’s own experience with pursuing a PhD in the midst of personal upheaval.  Finally, the episode provides actionable insights on how to begin aligning with the 'Stage five' version of ourselves immediately, regardless of the stage we are currently in. Dr. Debi encourages us to adopt small, intentional actions that reflect the higher self they aspire to be, both personally and professionally.  In closing, listeners are reminded to check in with their 'Stage five' selves to speed up the journey through the Stages from betrayal to breakthrough, turning the focus to intentionality in decision-making.  Key Points Discussed:  The influence of healing Stages on decision-making  Strategies for effective decision-making during tough times  The impact of long-term decision-making on personal growth and change  Personal anecdotes highlighting the journey of growth post-betrayal  Practical steps to align daily actions with one's highest self    Remember:  Decision-making is a reflection of our current state, but it also shapes our future. By envisioning our 'Stage five' selves, we can make choices that propel us toward the breakthrough we seek.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Reclaim program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/   PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ 

Welcome to today's episode where we dive into a nuanced and often overlooked form of betrayal: self-betrayal. This conversation talks about the complex relationship between betrayal by others and the acts of betrayal we commit against ourselves. Our exploration will provide insights into the manifestations of self-betrayal, the underlying reasons behind this behavior, and strategies for fostering self-awareness and healing.  Key Points Discussed:  The Nature of Self-Betrayal: We begin by defining self-betrayal as the act of going against your best interest, despite knowing better. Examples range from harmful dietary habits to engaging in relationships or activities that lead to negative emotions and outcomes.  Common Examples of Self-Betrayal:  - Continuously consuming unhealthy foods despite being aware of their negative impact.  -Watching content that induces anxiety and fear.  - Maintaining one-sided relationships where there is more taking than giving.    Understanding the 'Why' Behind Self-Betrayal: It's crucial to recognize that self-betrayal is not a reflection of your character but rather a consequence of lacking the necessary tools, strategies, self-esteem or more. This segment aims to shift your perspective from self-blame to understanding and compassion.    The Role of Awareness in Addressing Self-Betrayal: We emphasize the importance of recognizing how you feel after an act of self-betrayal as your personal way to know if this is what you’re doing. This awareness is a critical step towards change.  Personal Stories of Self-Betrayal: Drawing from Dr. Debi’s experience and insights from TEDx talks on Post Betrayal Syndrome®  and self-sabotage, we share stories that highlight how self-betrayal can manifest in professional settings, personal development, and daily habits.  The Consequences of Self-Betrayal:  Emotional and physical tolls of self-sabotaging behaviors.  The challenge of facing and moving through discomfort and unfamiliar situations.    Strategies for Overcoming Self-Betrayal:  Identifying and understanding the root causes of self-betrayal.  Making decisions based on what "stinks less" to foster growth and self-improvement.  The significance of advancing to Stage Five for clarity and strength.    Final Thoughts: The episode ends with an invitation to reflect on areas of their life where self-betrayal might be occurring. Through journaling and introspection, we encourage identifying actions and mindsets that align more closely with your highest and best self.  Calls to Action:  Reflect on your own experiences with self-betrayal. How does it manifest in your life? What steps can you take towards healing and self-compassion?  Share your thoughts and breakthroughs with us. Your journey could inspire others to recognize and address their own patterns of self-betrayal.    Next Episode Teaser: Stay tuned for our next episode where we'll explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth and relationships. Discover how opening up about our struggles can lead to deeper connections and a stronger sense of self.  Thank You for Listening! We hope this discussion on self-betrayal has offered valuable insights and practical advice for navigating this challenging aspect of personal development. Join us next time as we continue to explore pathways to a more authentic and fulfilled life.    Links:  TEDx: Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?  TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself   The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com    

In this insightful episode, Vanessa Cardenas shares her personal journey of navigating betrayal, not only in her intimate relationships but also in the workplace. As a Certified PBT Support Group Host and Certified PBT coach, Vanessa brings a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and understanding to the discussion on how betrayal can profoundly impact one's professional life, regardless of whether the betrayal occurred within or outside the work environment.  Key Points Discussed:  Vanessa's Workplace Betrayal: Vanessa recounts her experience of feeling betrayed by her boss at a family-run dot com company, highlighting the emotional impact of unrecognized contributions and the lack of shared profits despite her significant role in the company's success.  The Impact of Personal Betrayal: Vanessa opens up about the devastating effect of her husband's infidelity on her life, marking a clear before and after in her existence. She discusses the emotional turmoil, the sense of loss, and the journey towards healing and self-discovery. Healing Journey: Vanessa emphasizes the importance of seeking help and moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. She shares how embracing her true self and shedding others' expectations were crucial steps in her healing process.  Transformation and Empowerment: Vanessa details her physical transformation, including significant weight loss and changes to her appearance as acts of reclaiming control. She also speaks about the mental and emotional growth she experienced, leading to newfound confidence and self-love.  Workplace Dynamics Post-Betrayal: Vanessa discusses how her betrayals affected her productivity and emotional state at work. She highlights the challenges of maintaining professionalism while dealing with personal turmoil, including brain fog and heightened sensitivity to others' comments.  PBT Corporate Initiative: The episode introduces the PBT Corporate initiative, aimed at supporting individuals in the workplace who are dealing with betrayal. Vanessa's role in this initiative reflects her unique ability to bridge her personal experiences of betrayal with her professional expertise.    Parting Words:  Vanessa encourages listeners to acknowledge their pain, seek support, and embrace the journey of healing and transformation. She highlights the power of self-love, confidence, and the importance of reclaiming one's life after betrayal.  This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, offering hope, practical advice, and a pathway to healing and empowerment.  Connect with Vanessa Cardenas:  https://www.understandingear.com/    https://www.instagram.com/trusted_advisor_for_betrayal/   https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-Cardenas   https://mypbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-hosts-directory/    PBT Corporate: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/     Becoming a Certified PBT Coach: https://thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified/  Becoming a Certified PBT Support Group Host: https://thepbtinstitute.com/certified-support-group-host/  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/  

The episode dives into the profound effects of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace, particularly focusing on the aftermath and symptoms experienced by individuals.  It outlines the experiences shared at the WBENC conference, highlighting the lack of support for dealing with betrayal-related trauma in corporate settings.  The conversation emphasizes the need to address Post Betrayal Syndrome® symptoms to foster healthier work environments and personal growth.    Symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) in the Workplace:  Inability to Trust: 84% of individuals struggle with trust issues, impacting team collaboration and self-confidence.  Resistance to Feedback: Distrust leads to skepticism about intentions behind feedback, hindering professional growth.  Increased Conflict and Misunderstandings: Trust deficits contribute to workplace tension and hinder effective communication.  Extreme Sadness: 80% experience emotional distress, affecting motivation and engagement at work.  Withdrawal from Colleagues: Feelings of hurt and distrust lead to isolation and decreased participation in team activities.  Impact on Creativity and Problem Solving: Emotional distress impairs cognitive functions necessary for innovative thinking and solution generation. Weight Changes and Digestive Issues: Physical manifestations of stress, such as weight fluctuations and digestive problems, further exacerbate workplace challenges.  Anger and Increased Stress: Emotional turmoil leads to anger and heightened stress levels, affecting decision-making and interpersonal relationships.  Loss of Internal Power: Individuals struggle with diminished confidence and autonomy, impacting productivity and collaboration.    Importance of Healing:  The conversation underscores the significance of addressing betrayal-related trauma to regain personal power and professional effectiveness.  It highlights the transformative journey through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, offering hope for recovery and growth.  The PBT Institute is presented as a resource for individuals and organizations seeking support in navigating post-betrayal challenges and fostering resilience.    Conclusion:  These stats show a comprehensive overview of the impact of betrayal and shattered trust in the workplace.  It encourages us to recognize the signs of Post Betrayal Syndrome and explore avenues for healing and personal development.    Discover how betrayal and shattered trust affect workplace dynamics in this insightful discussion. Explore the symptoms of post-betrayal syndrome, the impact on collaboration and productivity, and the importance of healing for personal and professional growth. Gain valuable insights and resources to navigate through betrayal-related challenges and foster resilience in the workplace.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Corporate Solutions: https://thepbtinstitute.com/corporate/ 

In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the complex issues of betrayal, shattered trust, and the journey towards healing. The discussion not only uncovers the painful cycle of repeat betrayals but also offers hope for anyone struggling to move past their traumas. We explore the concept of unhealed betrayals manifesting through different relationships in your life, the profound lessons to be learned from these experiences, and the importance of establishing better boundaries.  Key Points Discussed  Understanding Repeat Betrayals: The phenomenon of experiencing betrayal in various forms across different relationships is highlighted as a sign of an unhealed initial betrayal, offering an opportunity for profound personal growth.  The Opportunity in Betrayal: Rather than seeing betrayal as solely a negative experience, it's framed as a chance to learn valuable life lessons, emphasizing that we’re lovable, worthy, and deserving of better.  Post Betrayal Syndrome®  (PBS®): Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome®, along with feeling rejected, abandoned, or having a lack of confidence, are discussed as common responses to betrayal that need to be addressed for healing.  Roots in Childhood Traumas: The discussion touches on how childhood experiences, particularly traumatic ones, shape our beliefs about ourselves and influence our future relationships and self-worth.  The Power of Belief: The episode explores how beliefs formed from past experiences, especially negative ones, can dictate our life choices and relationships, underscoring the importance of challenging and changing these beliefs.  From Hurt to Healed: Insights from the book "From Hardened to Healed" are shared, offering strategies to identify and change limiting beliefs formed from past betrayals.  The PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute's Role: The episode highlights the work of The PBT Institute, including our signature Betrayal to Breakthrough program and how it helps people navigate through the Five Stages of healing from betrayal.  Importance of New Beliefs for a New Path: The need to adopt new, empowering beliefs to replace the old, limiting ones is stressed as essential for personal growth and healing.    Insights Offered  Healing Requires Awareness: Acknowledging that the first step towards healing is recognizing the beliefs that hold us back and deciding to adopt new, supportive beliefs that align with who we want to be.  Bridges Over Affirmations: A discussion on how "bridges" — realistic, believable statements — can be more effective than traditional affirmations in creating positive change.  The Role of Support in Healing: Emphasizing the importance of seeking the right type of support to navigate the challenging process of changing deeply ingrained beliefs and healing from betrayal.  Life as a Reflection of Beliefs: The episode concludes with a powerful message that our lives are a representation of our beliefs, urging listeners to examine and revise their beliefs to create a life that truly reflects their worth and potential.  Final Thoughts  The episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the aftermath of betrayal to recognize the opportunity for transformation. It encourages listeners to reevaluate their beliefs, seek support, and embark on a path to healing and self-discovery.  Remember, healing from betrayal is not only possible; it's a journey towards becoming a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Join us next time as we continue to explore the paths to healing and personal growth.    Resources:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Trust Again 2.0: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trust-again/  Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ 

In this deeply moving episode, we explore a story that powerfully embodies the journey from betrayal to breakthrough, shedding light on the profound impacts of addiction, loss, and recovery on family dynamics, faith, and personal growth.  Guest Story:  Our guest Ken Guidroz shares an incredibly personal and heartbreaking story that may resonate with many of our listeners. His 27-year-old son, struggling with a decade-long opioid addiction, was involved in a tragic accident that led to a man's death. This event not only brought unimaginable challenge and sorrow to the family but also led to profound introspection and transformation.  Challenges Faced:  The personal struggle of dealing with addiction within the family.  The impact of a tragic accident on the guest's son and the entire family.  Navigating the complexities of emotions, including feelings of betrayal by a loved one and even by God.  The effects on his marriage and parenting approach.    Book Highlight:  Ken discusses his award-winning book, "Letters to My Son in Prison," a poignant compilation of letters exchanged between him and his son. The book delves into the themes of betrayal, forgiveness, and the unyielding hope for redemption and transformation.  Key Insights:  Parenting: Reflections on what was learned through this harrowing experience and how it has shaped a new approach to parenting.  Relationship with Son: The path to overcoming a decade of disappointment and addiction through heartfelt communication and support.  Faith Rediscovered: A journey of finding God and spirituality beyond the confines of traditional religious practices.  Marriage Resilience: Insights into how the marriage was tested and the unconventional compromises made to navigate through the toughest times.    This episode is a testament to the power of resilience, the possibility of transformation in the face of despair, and the strength found in forgiveness and renewed faith. Join us as we navigate these delicate topics with compassion, offering hope and insights to those facing similar struggles.    Recommended Resources:  "Letters to My Son in Prison"   kenguidroz.com  Support groups for families dealing with addiction  Counseling and spiritual guidance resources  The PBT Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com    Connect with Us:  We invite you to share your thoughts, stories, and insights with us. Connect through our social media channels or email us directly. Your story could be a beacon of hope for someone in the midst of their struggle.  Remember, you're not alone on this journey. 

Introduction to the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough: Dr. Debi shares the significance of navigating through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough as a pathway to healing and rebuilding trust.    Rebuild Program for Betrayers: Dr. Debi introduces a specialized program tailored for betrayers who have acknowledged their significant errors and are committed to changing them. This program, with certified PBT Coaches, their own program, community, etc., focuses on the betrayer’s healing and personal growth.    Personal Growth After Betrayal: Reflecting on their personal journey of growth, Dr. Debi acknowledges the challenge of rebuilding yourself following betrayal. New boundaries, new ideas, new insights- everything is looked at, assessed and changed.     Overcoming Betrayal and Trust Issues: Dr. Debi shares a betrayal’s impact on trust and relational safety. She also cautions against sharing too much and really knowing who to share such deeply personal feelings with. For example, sharing with those who offer genuine support rather than those who are asking out of curiosity.    Selective Sharing and Supportive Relationships: Dr. Debi also stresses the importance of surrounding yourself with those who demonstrate unwavering support and refrain from judgment or gossip regarding personal struggles.  Links:   The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  Reclaim (for the betrayed): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/  Rebuild (for the betrayer): https://thepbtinstitute.com/rebuild-program/ 

In this episode, we explore the journey of overcoming betrayal and discovering personal freedom with Dr. Karin Louise. Dr. Karin shares her personal experiences of betrayal from close relationships and how these led to her professional focus on healing and transformation. Her story takes us from the shock of discovering her partner's infidelity to the deeper understanding of her own patterns and the spiritual awakening that followed. Dr. Karin's insights provide valuable lessons on navigating the aftermath of betrayal, the importance of self-care, and the power of redefining one's identity beyond the pain.  Key Points Discussed:  The Catalyst of Betrayal: Karin recounts the moment her life changed when she discovered her partner's infidelity, marking it as "D Day" on her calendar. This event triggered a cascade of revelations and the onset of deep personal and emotional turmoil.  Connection to Childhood Trauma: The betrayal unearthed Karin's unhealed childhood trauma, revealing a pattern of abandonment and betrayal that had roots in her past. This recognition was a turning point in her healing journey.  Navigating Post Betrayal Syndrome: Karin dives into the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms she faced following the betrayal, with Dr. Debi highlighting the concept of Post Betrayal Syndrome™ and its impact on her overall well-being.  The Path to Healing and Transformation: Karin's journey led her to return to school, where she pursued further education in counseling and education, ultimately obtaining a PhD. This academic and personal growth period catalyzed significant breakthroughs in her understanding of trauma, healing, and self-awareness.  Spiritual Awakening and Soul Contracts: A pivotal moment in Karin's story was a spiritual awakening that helped her understand the concept of soul contracts and the role they play in our relationships and life challenges. This new perspective offered her a sense of peace and a framework for understanding her experiences.  Overcoming Guilt and Reclaiming Identity: Karin discusses the struggle with guilt and shame that often accompanies the healing process from betrayal. She emphasizes the importance of pushing through these feelings to reclaim one's identity and prioritize personal happiness and fulfillment.  Finding Strength in Vulnerability: The episode touches on the courage required to face one's vulnerabilities and the strength found in acknowledging and working through them, rather than suppressing or ignoring the pain.    Karin's story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for growth and transformation that lies within the pain of betrayal. Her insights offer hope and guidance for anyone navigating the difficult journey of healing after being betrayed, underscoring the importance of self-care, personal growth, and the pursuit of a life defined by one's own terms of freedom and fulfillment.  Recommended Resources:  Dr. Karin Louise's book, The Fatherless Daughter Project  Connect with Karin Louise: https://doctorkarin.com/  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/      Explore healing and freedom after betrayal in this powerful episode. Dive into her personal journey from discovery to transformation, uncovering insights on overcoming trauma, navigating post betrayal syndrome, and the pivotal role of spiritual awakening. Learn how to reclaim your identity and find strength in vulnerability. A must-listen for anyone seeking to turn pain into purpose. 

Welcome to a new episode where we dive into the fascinating world of Human Design and how it can help in the healing process from betrayal. Join us as we explore this unique modality and its potential to provide deeper insights into our struggles and strengths.  Key Points from the Episode:  Introduction to Human Design as a new modality for healing from betrayal.  The decision to incorporate Human Design into the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) framework. Explanation of Human Design as a combination of the Chinese I Ching, astrology, the chakra system, Kabbalah, and quantum physics. Discussion on the static nature of one's Human Design chart and its interpretation based on life experiences and astrological conditions. Overview of the five types within Human Design: Manifesters, Manifesting Generators, Generators, Projectors, and Reflectors. Personal insights from the host on being a Manifesting Generator and how it aligns with their nature of managing multiple projects. The importance of understanding one's Human Design type to foster self-acceptance and effective decision-making. Insights into how different types and centers in Human Design can influence your life, actions, and energy levels. Exploration of the concept of the "not-self theme" in Human Design, where pushing and initiating can be counterproductive for certain types. A brief overview of the centers in Human Design, including the emotional solar plexus and how it relates to empathy and absorbing energy from others. Discussion on the significance of gates and channels in Human Design, and their role in defining our unique characteristics and life themes. How Human Design can provide validation, self-understanding, and clarity, especially when healing from betrayal. The importance of aligning with one's natural design to prevent burnout and promote wellness. An invitation for listeners to learn more about their own Human Design through a session with the host, regardless of their membership status with the PBT Institute.  Episode Highlights:  Human Design: A powerful tool in understanding your unique blueprint for processing experiences and making decisions.  Manifesting Generators: Learn why multitasking and 'burning off energy' are natural and necessary for some.  Types and Centers: How they define our interactions with the world and influence our personal energy.  Empathy and Energy: Insights into why you might be more sensitive or reactive in certain situations.  Healing from Betrayal: The role of Human Design in understanding your reactions and pathways to recovery.  Resources Mentioned:  The PBT Institute Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/   Human Design Readings: Available for booking to explore your individual design and how it can aid in healing from betrayal.  If you're intrigued by what Human Design might reveal about your path to healing and personal growth, consider scheduling a session with Dr. Debi. It's a step toward embracing your authentic self and transforming post-betrayal.  This episode introduces a different perspective on healing, highlighting the importance of self-knowledge and tailored recovery paths. Human Design may be the key to unlocking a deeper understanding of your journey through and beyond betrayal.  Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll continue exploring innovative healing modalities and personal transformation strategies.  Remember, you can access more information and book your Human Design session at https://thepbtinstitute.com/humandesign/ . Join us to uncover the layers of your design and foster a more profound healing process. 

In this episode, Dr. Debi dives into the fascinating outcomes of what happened when she emailed her newsletter subscribers. She asked her audience a simple question: "If I can help you, respond to this email." The responses she received were incredibly telling, categorizing her audience into 4 groups based on their reactions to betrayal and their approach to healing. Join Dr. Debi as she breaks down these groups, shares her insights, and offers guidance on moving forward.  Key Points Discussed:  The Experiment: Dr. Debi sent out an email to her newsletter subscribers, offering help and asking for a response on how she could support them.    The 4 Types that Emerged    The Thrivers: This group shared their journey of overcoming betrayal by actively seeking healing and progress. They are beautiful examples of resilience and the willingness to move forward despite the pain. Dr. Debi shares her admiration for their determination and discusses how their proactive steps towards healing have led to significant personal growth and improvement in their health.    The Sharers: People in this group opened up about their stories, seeking a safe space to express their experiences without judgment. Dr. Debi emphasized the importance of acknowledging where they are, offered them some strategies, and encouraged small steps towards change.    The Resigners: These people feel stuck, believing there's nothing they can do to change their situation. Dr. Debi challenged this notion, explaining the dangers of staying in a resigned state and the impact it has on personal well-being and growth.    The Skeptics: This group is characterized by a lack of trust, possibly as a result of their betrayal. Dr. Debi addressed the importance of rebuilding trust, not only in others but in themselves, to open up to healing and new opportunities.    Dr. Debi’s Insights:  Healing requires intentional effort and movement through the 5 Stages of Betrayal to Breakthrough.  Small, seemingly insignificant steps can lead to significant changes and improvements.  Trust, though difficult to rebuild, is essential for healing and moving forward.    Conclusion:  Each group represents a different approach to dealing with betrayal and healing. Dr. Debi encourages listeners to identify with a group and consider the suggested paths towards healing and transformation. She stresses the importance of moving through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, using their pain for growth, and opening themselves up to trust and new possibilities as a result of healing.  Next Steps:  Reflect on which group you identify with and why.  Consider the suggested actions and mindsets for moving forward and healing.  Engage with the community, share your story, and consider reaching out for support if needed.    Closing: Dr. Debi wraps up the episode by inviting listeners to use their trauma as a catalyst for transformation, encouraging them to not let past betrayals hold them back from the love, connection, and opportunities they deserve.    Links:  The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Reclaim Program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/