Jolly Rancher Trauma

Here is the last episode, and so it is time to say goodbye. And speaking of time, Keenan got a new wristwatch! Join the Friends one last time as they muse over the nature of time, wanting to become watchmakers, and whether or not they re-watch (ha) films. And then Halsted and Keenan talk about how they feel about the end of their podcast. But they are not gonna feud after all because they like each other too much! So the podcast served its purpose, and niceness will continue unrecorded. Thanks for being here. Dip a sandwich to you. Now get out there and make a friend!

It’s time to say goodbye. Soon Keenan’s microphone will be packed away in preparation for their big move overseas. And that means the podcast is ending. But first, the Friends talk about meeting online friends in person. And Keenan reveals which heavy metal band from Des Moines they are publicly feuding with. You heard it here first!

Watching reality TV makes the Friends feel like they just ate a giant bag of Tootsie Rolls. Mm, candy. In this bag of candy episode, Keenan and Halsted talk about eating candy, bandanas, the weather in Celsius, and yearning to be mysterious.

Ostensibly, this episode’s topic is: How do we make time for the things we enjoy? Keenan has some insight that Halsted appreciates here. Lest you think the Friends stuck to one topic, this is not that podcast. Halsted tells the story of meeting Margaret Atwood and really embarrassing herself. Meanwhile, Keenan has met lots of famous people and NEVER ONCE embarrassed themself. What gives!?

If you enjoy episodes that refuse to stick to one topic, have Keenan and Halsted got the episode for you! The Friends are chock full of hot takes about working meetings, therapy, science fiction stories, being told how to interpret  literature, and sharks. Where they’re going, they don’t need segues. (That was a certified science fiction story reference.)

Not all friendships start with a podcast! Keenan is moving to a new country soon, and Halsted has lived in another country, so the Friends talk about making friends as expats. And then they talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up. For a while, anyway, until the tangents begin!

Should friends make friendship contracts? Keenan and Halsted talk about unstated expectations and assumptions between friends, and what happens when they’re mismatched. Turns out we’re all winging it, as friends!

Hey, 2026. Keenan and Halsted are back from holidays and vacations. They are totally fine and not at all feeling guilty for unpairing their identities from all the capitalism. In this episode, the Friends talk about being recovering know-it-alls. Join them on their journeys through pedantry.

Move over, morning zoo. It’s the Morning Jus with Keenan and Halsted! Dip a sandwich and get cozy, because it’s time to talk about literalism in storytelling. And then they discuss boundaries and friction in human relationships.

A funny thing happened on the way to the topic: Keenan and Halsted found so many other topics, including cherished childhood mementos, the bass clarinet, and one particular cult TV show that formed their senses of humor. This is chaos. And so is their friendship!