111. KELSEY BYERS: agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, queer

Leanne is a polyamory educator, writer, speaker, certified sex and relationships educator, and trainee psychosexual therapist. Leanne's pronouns are they/she, and they are agender, non-binary, queer, autigender, and a demigirl. Find out what that means to Leanne in this episode.  We also talk about gender roles and expectations in Intimacy and sex, how pronouns may be context-dependent, the freedom that can be found in queer relationships, how sexuality and gender influence each other, claiming our own space with respect for others, and an email we exchanged 4 years ago.  More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/leanne 

Neno is a writer, poet, book coach, and podcaster. Neno's pronouns are they/she and they are a genderfluid lesbian word witch. Find out what that means to Neno in this episode. We also talk about compulsory heterosexuality, performative femininity, how gender dysphoria can be fleeting, finding queer community as an introvert, active rest, imposter syndrome of queerness, representation in books and stories, and embracing your magick. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/neno   

A Pariera is a philosopher, guide, and mentor, rethinking self, identity, and reality. A's pronouns are he/they, and he identifies as a non-binary trans man. Find out what that means to A in this episode.  We talk about his journey from transitioning to detransitioning to retransitioning, going inward on a soul quest, embracing the journey, deconditioning, returning to home in the body, feeling safe, redefining masculinity and femininity and a spiritual and energetic perspective on these, and taking the long road. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/a 

Raven is a creative coach, artist, parent, and LGBTQIA+ community activist. Raven's pronouns are they/them, and they are genderqueer, a relationship anarchist, and bisexual. Find out what that means to Raven in this episode. We also talk about queering everything, breaking the rules, the assumptions people make about gender in relation to bodies, how labels describe us but don't define us, the importance of local community and looking after each other, and letting the unknown be exciting and full of opportunity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/raven 

Kelsey J.R.P. Byers is an evolutionary geneticist and chemical ecologist, lover of all things nature, and advocate for accessibility and inclusion of minoritized groups in academia. Kelsey uses any/all pronouns, but they get a little frisson of gender-validation/euphoria when people don't use she/her. They are agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, and queer. Find out what that means to Kelsey in this episode. We also talk about the link between gender and neurodivergence, shared experiences, assumptions and stereotyping about disability and sexuality, split attraction, the nuance of asexuality, desire, and physical responses, the superpower and shadow sides of neurodivergence, how to have consensual conversations about personal subjects, and the importance of just listening. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/kelsey   

Deanna Marie Jones is a speaker, consultant, and LGBTQ+ advocate, with a history in corporate technology.  Deanna's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Deanna in this episode.  We also talk about the positive evolution of the job industry, what good leadership looks like, the importance of finding community, and what allies can do to help.  More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/deanna 

Finn Evans is an artist, writer, film director, and owner of the production company Chudatsi.  Finn's pronouns are he/him, and he is trans-masculine and queer. He also uses the label trans man. Find out what that means to Finn in this episode.We also talk about challenges with gendered language, finding your people, what labels feel like home, intersectionality and discrimination, the importance of accurate media representation and celebrating genuine efforts at it, tackling misinformation, and letting people evolve. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/finn 

'Irregular Jenn' Wilson is a writer, coach, and educator, founder of the company Irregular and of the International Day of Consent, which takes place annually on November 30th, and organiser of the upcoming I Do Consent summit, which runs from November 30th until December 2nd. Jenn's pronouns are they/them (she/her is ok) and the labels they use are gender non-conforming, genderqueer, non-binary, and neuroqueer. They also refer to themself as female and woman-shaped, as well as neurodivergent, polyamorous, a relationship anarchist, bisexual, and pansexual. Find out what that means to Jenn in this episode. We also talk about creating inclusive spaces, neuroqueering everything, unmasking, consent as a practice, misunderstandings around polyamory and relationship anarchy, liberating ourselves, and being a little bit braver. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jenn-wilson  Find out more about the I Do Consent summit here:: https://bemore.irregular.org.uk/idocsummit24s 

Helena Key is a queer author and founder of an independent publishing company. Helena's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman, pansexual, and bipolar. Find out what that means to Helena in this episode. We also talk about transitioning while parenting a young child, building trust in relationships, the overlap between bipolar disorder and ADHD, challenges in calling out problematic behaviour and opinions in groups, alternative publishing company structures, writing authentic characters, and how to get a more realistic representation of LGBTQIA+ and other marginalised people in books, films, and TV. More on  www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/helena 

Anshar Seraphim is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and neurodiversity advocate. Anshar likes they/them pronouns, but because they present as male, they don't really mind he/him. They identify as non-binary, because of their lack of exposure to gender constructs as an autistic person. Find out what that means to Anshar in this episode. We also talk about expectations of maleness, sensory difficulties, navigating relationships, social exclusion and isolation, making connections, masking, opening up conversations, effective listening, and learning how to treat each other well. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/anshar