Tenderoni Hotline #48: Are You Performing? | Paperback Book Series

Tenderoni Hotline #48: There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you.It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs.Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded, open-hearted love, love, love.That's what my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, is all about: helping you take off the mask and discover that this big, messy world needs the real you, not the performing you.Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/bookGot a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#399: What happens when loving someone turns into managing their growth, their choices, and their willingness to change? This week, I’m exploring the way we can end up taking responsibility for someone else’s development, emotional state, and readiness while losing connection with our own needs. We’re talking about the emails I receive from women asking for resources for their husbands, boyfriends, or sons, and the deeper pattern underneath searching for the “right” book, therapist, or conversation that will finally make someone else change. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/399 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #47: Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing.In this book series, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, can help you start coming home to yourself - no longer orbiting everyone else’s needs, but finally living for you.Order the book now: beatrizalbina.com/bookLearn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/coursesFollow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#398: What if the patterns you’ve been blaming yourself for were actually survival strategies you learned for a reason? This week, I’m celebrating the paperback release of my book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. I’m sharing why I wrote this book, the experiences that led me to create the framework of emotional outsourcing, and why I believe we need a new way to understand these patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/398 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #46: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.In today’s episode, we’re exploring why setting boundaries can feel so hard, and why guilt often floods in after you finally speak your truth. We’ll talk about the deep nervous system wiring that makes boundaries feel threatening, especially if you were raised to believe that love means self-sacrifice. You’ll learn how your biology, past experiences, and systemic conditioning all collide to make boundary-setting feel unsafe, even when you know it’s the right thing.We’re also unpacking why you procrastinate, even on things that matter deeply to you. Spoiler alert: it’s not about laziness. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you from real or perceived danger. You’ll learn how freeze shows up, how perfectionism fuels it, and what gentle, practical tools can help you shift from stuck to self-led.This work is compassionate, science-backed, and deeply honoring of your lived experience. Because you deserve to set boundaries without betrayal, take action without fear, and build a life rooted in your own nervous system safety and self-trust.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#397: What happens after the breakthrough? After the ceremony, the therapy session, the retreat, or the moment where everything suddenly makes sense? Why do we sometimes return to the same patterns even after something profound has opened? This week, I explore the difference between catharsis and integration, and why the peak experiences that create possibility are not the same thing as the daily practice that creates lasting change. We’ll look at why a powerful opening can create a window for change, but why it is the ordinary moments afterward, the conversations, choices, and pauses, where new patterns actually take root. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/397 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #45: In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and start reclaiming those from within. I’ll share how to recognize when you’re losing yourself in other people’s needs, plus simple, science-backed nervous system regulation tools to help you catch dysregulation before it hits a 10.This work is gentle, practical, and profoundly powerful. You deserve to feel safe in your own body and to belong deeply to yourself.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

#396: What if your feelings aren’t something to control, fix, or get rid of, but something trying to guide you back to yourself? This week, I explore what it really means to stop running from your feelings and why so many of us have learned to push our emotions down, power through, or disconnect from what’s happening inside. We look at how our nervous systems, social conditioning, and past experiences teach us that some feelings are unsafe, inconvenient, or too much, and how those patterns can keep us disconnected from our own wisdom. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/396 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #44: Hello, my love. If you’ve ever been told to “calm down” and felt your anger spike instead of settle, or found yourself feeling anxious, nauseous, or completely overwhelmed at the thought of making a simple phone call, you are so not alone.In this episode, we gently unpack what is really happening in your body in those moments. We explore why “calm down” can feel so deeply invalidating, especially for those of us who were taught to shrink, soften, or second guess our emotions, and we look at why something as ordinary as a phone call can activate a full stress response, leaving your body feeling anything but okay.This is not about fixing yourself. It is about understanding yourself with more compassion. Because your reactions are not random. They are protective. They are intelligent. And they make sense. So take a breath, settle in, and let’s get curious together. You are safe. You are held. You are allowed to feel what you feel.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

#395: What if the pain you’re experiencing is real, but the suffering you’re carrying on top of it is something you can choose to put down? This week, I explore the Buddhist concept of the second arrow and how we often add to our own suffering through self-blame, judgment, and the stories we create about the painful things that happen in our lives. We look at the difference between honoring our pain and getting stuck in the additional suffering that keeps us disconnected from ourselves. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/395 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift