Ep #326: Doing the Opposite: How Childhood Pain Shapes the Patterns We Can’t See

#332: This episode is for the folks who look like they've got it together, who've checked most of the boxes: the career, the home, the relationships. You're productive, responsible, kind, maybe even the one people come to for help. But when it's quiet, really quiet, there's this persistent low buzz of disconnection.This week, I want you to know that you don't need to earn your healing or wait for a crisis to change. You’ll hear why this is one of the most dangerous ideas patriarchy has sold us, and how growth comes from wanting more - more presence, more peace, more pleasure, more days that feel like yours.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/332

I had the most amazing conversation with Busayo Ayodele, who was in Anchored last year, and I just couldn’t wait to share it. We had such a fun conversation, and everything she shared about her experience was just so inspiring, so moving, made my heart feel so explode-y. The way Busayo grew in Anchored is everything I dream of. It's the reason why I built Anchored. So, in case you’re thinking, “I can’t change. I will never stop living with these codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits. I’m just stuck in this forever. I was born this way. I’ll die this way. I am inherently defective.” I want to say a big, “Not so fast.” These are survival skills. They’re habits. They’re changeable. And please, listen to Busayo. If you are moved and want to join Anchored, there are a few spots left for the group starting very soon and I cannot wait to have you join us: https://beatrizalbina.com/getanchored/

#331: After over a decade of coaching women through codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits, I'm seeing a heartbreaking pattern: the people who most need community support and nervous system regulation are talking themselves out of the very programs designed to help them.Whether it's the fear of being a burden, worrying you'll fall into old patterns of over-functioning, or believing you need to fix yourself before deserving help, these barriers could be keeping you trapped in a life you already know you don't want to live.Tune in this week to discover how healing happens in community, why you can't overcome relational trauma in isolation, and what it actually feels like to be witnessed, supported, and loved without having to earn it through performance or perfection.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/331

#330: If you've ever found yourself constantly scanning other people's faces for approval, shapeshifting to keep the peace, or feeling completely disconnected from what you actually want, this episode is for you. You might call this people-pleasing or being too sensitive, but something much more profound is going on here: you’re living with emotional outsourcing.Tune in this week as I break down how emotional outsourcing develops early, gets reinforced by cultural systems, and shows up in our bodies as chronic anxiety, exhaustion, and disconnection. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/330

#329: This week, I sit down with Carey Cramer, an Anchored program alum, to explore their transformative journey through attachment healing and relational growth. Over the past two and a half years since completing the program, Carey has developed a completely new way of showing up in relationships - one marked by presence, trust, and authentic connection.Through our conversation, Carey shares how the combination of thought work and somatic practices helped them move from a place of constant relational dysregulation to being able to maintain healthy relationships. Carey's story demonstrates how doing this work ripples out to positively impact not just our own lives, but our entire community as we learn to show up with greater integrity and authenticity. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/329

#328: Do you struggle to make decisions, not because you're unsure of your desires, but because you're constantly weighing everyone else's? This isn't just indecision; it's emotional outsourcing, a pattern where we disconnect from our own authentic wants in favor of what others expect.Tune in this week as I share how, through practical somatic practices and nervous system work, we can begin reconnecting with our authentic desires and rebuild trust in our own internal wisdom.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/328

If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can have a life full of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you.We start on July 7th. Click here to sign up: feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/anchoredI can't wait to see you there!

In this free, final workshop of the series, you'll learn how to make nervous system change actually last, how to stop backsliding when life gets chaotic, and how to create the kind of internal safety that sustains healing long term. It's happening on Wednesday, May 28, at 8pm eastern on Zoom. Click here to grab your spot: feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/workshop-podcastP.S. If you missed the other workshops in the series, there are limited-time replays available!

#327: Imagine cutting veggies after a long day when your partner bursts in venting about their coworker. You care deeply, but right now, your shoulders tense, your jaw locks, and you're just not available – though you never say so. Instead, you nod, make the right noises, and count the seconds until it ends. Later, you're both left feeling vaguely disconnected, with a subtle rupture hanging in the air between you.This disconnection happens when we skip conversational consent – not just physical consent, but emotional and energetic consent too. Most of us were never taught to pause and check, "Hey, are you available for this?"Join me this week as I break down the truth about consent and requests in conversation, and what it means to name what you need. You’ll learn why asking for consent is a practice that’s especially crucial for those of us working to overcome emotional outsourcing tendencies, and how incorporating conversational consent helps us create genuine connection in our relationships.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/327

#326: Have you ever felt that sharp sting of resentment when watching someone set a boundary with ease or embrace their imperfections without shame? That irritation you feel might be pointing to something deeper – the very freedoms you deny yourself every day.Join me this week to learn how our childhood pain shapes patterns that masquerade as virtues, making them nearly impossible to detect without compassionate awareness. You’ll learn a gentle, revolutionary practice to begin dismantling these invisible rebellions, and how this simple tool will help you start reclaiming the freedoms you've denied yourself and step into a life built around who you truly are, not who you're afraid of becoming.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/326