#468 - Noble John, Sugar Me Twice and Good Old Gent

What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave.As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men.Back to John, and he tells us early on that he’s feeling ‘absolutely dreadful’. Book deadline day is taking its toll, but luckily a text from Elis’s brother-in-law lifts his spirits, as does the arrival of a record in the post for poor old stressed Dave.There’s the start of a podcast feud with No Such Thing As A Fish, chat about successfully bartering with a supermarket, and the introduction of a new jingle that wouldn’t be out of place on Lou Reed’s Transformer.Get in touch via the usual channels: it’s [email protected] on the email, and 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApp.

The boys have been busy bees recently and the show’s in danger of turning into a Michael Palin travelogue. Elis has returned from France and regales us with stories of visits to ex-military factories, intense chats with German families and Isy’s attempts at speaking French.Then it’s time for the first instalment of Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere, where your favourite podcast hosts drive around the country for no apparent reason other than to visit their valued family members. They’ve clipped on their mics (much to Elis’s embarrassment) and invited us onto the tour bus. Expect travel-based badinage and a whole lot of service station chat. Radio 4, are you listening?Back in the studio and on bum-based terra firma, Elis has gone up a pant size because of his ever-growing behind, whereas John’s seems to be ageing beyond his years.Why not spend your free time penning a witty missive to your favourite podcast? Send emails to [email protected] or it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

The boys are fresh from driving around the country for charity with Ian Botham, which of course means Elis is exhausted and tour newbie Dave is absolutely fine.And there’s more bad news for Mr James as the Elis vote is being split in the Listeners’ Choice vote at the British Podcast Awards. He’s going to get pilloried by one co-host or maybe both. But given that John is more likely to lacerate Elis than Bubbins, place your vote in this stable. Find it online somewhere.And there’s also some Mad Dads to dig into and could John step into a Bragg-shaped hole to front Radio 4’s most influential discussion show?Remember, there’s bonus Saturday content *only* on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.Got something to say? Well head this way… WhatsApp - 07974 293 022 Email - [email protected]

The ripples of last week’s Elis James mega-rant are still being felt right across the BBC, and despite vowing to ignore the call to pen John’s obituary, Elis has rowed back and done just that. Brace yourself for some emotional heft and candid commentary on John’s propensity for darts at university.But John’s made of sterner stuff these days and recovered to reveal the sighting of a certain car has left him shocked to his very core. Elis and Dave, on the other hand, don’t seem that bothered…Elsewhere there’s some classic ‘what would you do with loads of money’ chat that somehow leads to a conversation about Liam Gallagher’s coat collection, and a geography-based Made Up Game hits the mark with very little knowledge needed of the Falkland / Faroe Islands.We love receiving your emails and WhatsApps and wholeheartedly encourage you to send them in. The email is [email protected] and the WhatsApp is 07974 293 022.

There’s a surprise in the offing for John. Not that that’s a surprise to him. Nothing gets past old Sherlock Robins. Especially Producer Dave positioning a phone on a table at a very slight angle.But said surprise leads to some incredible finds about Johnny JR which leave Elis and Dave’s jaws on the floor. This was not what had been intended. Elsewhere John has an out of body experience reflecting on the fact that there’s an entire segment on the show dedicated to his personal wins.Plus, John enjoys an email that could not have been more in his wheelhouse if it tried. For anyone else it would have been useless and just tossed on the Wasteland.The email: [email protected] The WhatsApp: 07974 293 022 The bonus content: The Bureau de Change of the Mind. Only on Bee Bee Cee Sounds every Saturday morning.

Today’s episode is filled with the big questions of our age. These are the things that government top brass are pouring over day in, day out: Is Martin Lewis up there with Galileo and Mozart? Can you put goodwill on your shelf? And most divisively, is wee ever fine in a paddling pool?It’s a show that asks questions rather than answers them, and you the you the listener are left to make up your own minds on these contentious issues.What we can guarantee, however, is wall-to-wall Elis and John certified bangers: top-tier anecdotes, a classic Cymru Connection, a wonderfully chaotic Made Up Game, and a toe-curling Oasis-based shame to round things off. Sit back and enjoy the Elis and John vibes in your area.You can get involved with this crazy old thing we call the Elis and John show by emailing [email protected], or WhatsApping 07974 293 022.

Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him.Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show.Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime, and Elis does a surprisingly good impression of a history teacher.Remember to seek out some bonus content in the form of Saturday’s Bureau de Change of the Mind. That’s only available on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.And if you want to get in contact with thoughts on anything other than the first ten minutes of this episode then it’s [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matters.Elsewhere, Elis channels his inner McIntyre with a surprising side offering of Trump, Producer Dave is now worried sick that his house is about to fall down due to an influx of rodent faeces, and 'Don't Hate the Player or the Game - Hate the Governing Body' is the unexpected soundbite of the summer.Dying to share a Made Up Game? Itching to dispel some long-lingering Shame? Well [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the places to go.

There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now.Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Norton and Parkinson would do. Plus Elis gets rinsed by a listener yet again and we dig into the various chain restaurants of Woking.Have you got opinions on Surrey’s fast-casual outlets? Well [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the places to send them.

John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose.But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth of children.Plus, turn another page and you'll find a one off feature which may or may not feature a dulcetly crooned jingle.Remember you can catch bonus E&J only on BBC Sounds on The Bureau de Change of the Mind. So go and inhale those if you haven’t done so already. (We’re past DI Robbyns nonsense now, so it’s just more of the boys).Get all your passing thoughts in to [email protected] or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.