Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 2) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 499]

Do you feel like your mind is full of tasks making it hard to focus and be present with your family? Do you struggle to articulate what you need, feel, or want from your spouse?  Today, Dr. Morgan Cutlip is here to help us navigate the topic of mental load specifically as moms. Morgan is a psychologist and highly sought after relationship expert. Her book Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself helps moms advocate for their needs in a loving way. We cover a large range of issues facing parents today including…  The invisible running to-do list we keep in our minds. How to identify your needs and communicate them. How to get clear about what you feel and need so you do not confuse your spouse.  Identifying the two different types of guilt and how to respond.  The three domains of mental load- cognitive, physical, and emotional. Navigating the holiday season with the added tasks and pressure to make it magical.  Connect with Dr. Morgan Cutlip:  Website:  Dr. Morgan Cutlip Facebook: Dr. Morgan Cutlip Instagram:  Dr. Morgan Cutlip (@drmorgancutlip) Links Mentioned:   Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself by Dr. Morgan Cutlip A Better Share : How Couples Tackle the Mental Load  (pre-order)  How We Feel App  Related Episodes: Organize Your Mental Load  :: Laurel Denise [Ep 444] “How do I connect better with my kids?” [Ep 475] :: Summer of Mentorship Week 1 Body Awareness in Parenting :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 333] Featured Sponsors:  Rosetta Stone - Start the New Year off with a resolution you CAN reach! Today Don’t Mom Alone listeners can take advantage of this New Year’s special of Rosetta Stone’s LIFETIME Membership! Visit www.rosettastone.com/dma. That’s unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life.  Thrive Market - Want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health? Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift.  Greenlight -A debit card and money app for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life, together. Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Have you or a friend ever walked through a season of infertility and grief? Do you often wonder what to say when a friend is walking through loss of any kind?  Today my friend Julie Fowler is here to talk about her heartbreaking (but hopeful) story of motherhood and how God used her story to help people navigate loss. Julie has faced miscarriage, adoptions that fell through at the last minute, and baby twins she only held for four short hours. She truly has walked this long road and knows all of the feelings of grief and uncertainty around waiting for a baby. This valley produced a beautiful study of walking through infertility in community and connecting with God in the deepest, darkest places. We cover so much in our conversation including… How to talk to a friend in a season of infertility and loss- what not to say.  How husbands and wives can support each other instead of turning on one another.  Sharing your feelings with the Lord and then speaking truth over yourself. Wrestling with deep spiritual questions when your prayers are not being answered.   Making a support group uplifting instead of only heavy while still leaving room to process.  Connect with Julie Fowler:  Website:  Julie Fowler Ministries Facebook: Juliefowlerministries | Facebook Instagram:  Julie Fowler Ministries (@juliefowlerministries) Links Mentioned:   Infertility Bible Studies and Resources — Julie Fowler Ministries Treasures in the Waiting: by Julie Fowler Navigating Infertility and Loss with Strength and Hope: by Julie Fowler When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: by Sandra Glahn Related Episodes: Nobody’s Mother :: Dr. Sandra Glahn [Ep 443] Hope During Infertility and Infant Loss :: Shawna Beucler [Ep 203] Every Bitter Thing is Sweet :: Sara Hagerty [Ep 143] Featured Sponsors:  Greenlight–Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma. Great debit card and money app to raise financially smart kids and for families to navigate life, together. Betterhelp Find comfort this December, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DMA today to get 10% off your first month. Beam-If you want to try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder, get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com/DMA and use code DMA at checkout. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Today my conversation with Dallas and Amanda Jenkins is a powerful reminder that the Christmas story still needs to be told thousands of years later. Dallas is the acclaimed director, writer, and producer of The Chosen, and now the heartfelt movie The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  The movie is based on a book read for years in the Jenkins’ house (and many households worldwide). Twenty years ago Amanda brought the book home and asked Dallas to read it to the kids. By the end they were both in tears and could not finish the story without taking turns reading. That started a 20-year journey of Dallas praying to make this movie and the Lord answered through an amazing story in His own time.  Moms play a vital role in this film from a mom telling her son to let Dallas have the rights to the movie, to Amanda helping with the casting, to Grace (the mom in the film) who uses her God-given space to change the lives around her. As we enter the Christmas season let us remember Jesus came for the outsider and not cling so tightly to our traditions that we do not see those who need to hear the true Christmas story.  Connect with Dallas and Amanda:  Website:   Facebook: Dallas Jenkins Instagram:  Dallas Jenkins (@dallas.jenkins) Links Mentioned:   The Best Christmas Pageant Ever | Now Playing In Theaters Molly Wright: How Every Child Can Thrive by Five | TED Related Episodes: Seek Him First :: Lillian Richey [Ep 494] Advent Untangled :: Mindy Rives [Ep 385] Celebrating Advent :: Tsh Oxenreider [Ep 305] Featured Sponsors:  Honeylove-Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market. Shop Honeylove’s Holiday sale and save an additional 20% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/DMA. Thrive Causemetics–Spice up your holiday season with Thrive Causemetics. Luxury Beauty that gives back. Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.  Vegamour–This holiday season, give the gift of great hair with Vegamour. There’s something for everyone, including you! Visit Vegamour.com/DMA code DMA to shop.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

I can’t believe it but today we are celebrating 500 episodes of Don’t Mom Alone! I am bringing back my very first guest and mentor Leslie to “recap” the last eleven years. Leslie had been encouraging me from before I started this podcast and her fingerprints are all over my motherhood. We get an update on her life and she shares how to navigate the empty nest phase. Leslie reminds us of Psalms 16:6-8 (which I also wrote about in my book), “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” God is faithful in ALL seasons from newborn to empty nest.  Also, some of my listeners call in to share what Don’t Mom Alone has meant to them. Here are a few of the highlights… How healing prayer ministry has been life-changing.  Be in community and reach out for help.  Become the inviter instead of waiting for others to invite you in.  Receive and give grace to others through the challenges of motherhood.  Connect with Leslie Johnson:  Website:  Sursee Gal Instagram:  Leslie Johnson 🎉aka Sursee Gal (@surseegal) Links Mentioned:   *A gift to you!! PDF of Psalm 16:6-8 Right Where You Belong: by Heather MacFadyen Related Episodes: Announcing…the God Centered Mom Podcast! Interview with Leslie Johnson (Sursee Gal) A Pep Talk with Leslie Johnson {SurseeGal} –Yelling/Reading/Needing :: GCM Ep 20 That’s Me. . .Craving Authentic Friendships :: Libby and Leslie {Ep 102} Featured Sponsors:  Betterhelp: Find comfort this December, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DMA today to get 10% off your first month. Skylight Frame:  And now, as a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/ALONE. Greenlight: The easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life, together. Sign up for greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Today we continue last week's episode in Part 2 with my friend Charissa Lopez. If you missed part one you can listen here to catch up Click Here for Part 1.  Charissa Lopez is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Dallas specializing in play therapy, EMDR, emotionally focused family therapy, and trauma-informed care. She is full of wisdom and the science to explain why we respond and parent in specific ways based on childhood patterns. We continue the conversation today by covering these topics…  Understanding Secure Attachment.  Exploring Preoccupied Attachment in Parenting  Disorganized Attachment - the most rare of all three tendencies.  Neurodiversity and Attachment Patterns and how to help our neurodivergent kids feel connected.  Interventions for Attachment Patterns - how to heal and parent from a place of secure attachment.  Healing Through Community- God created community for restoration and healing.  Connect with Charissa Lopez:  Website:  Charissa Lopez | Licensed Professional Counselor Links Mentioned:   Welcome Don't Mom Alone Friends! - Charissa Lopez Counseling Secure Relating: by Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley  Related Episodes: Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 1) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 498] Connecting Through Play :: Charissa Fry [Ep 319] Ages and Stages Series–The Tween Years :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 380] “How Do I Regulate My Own Emotions?” :: Charissa Fry [Ep 482] Summer of Mentorship Featured Sponsors:  Skylight Frame: And now, as a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/ALONE.  Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. A debit card and money app made for families. Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/DMA IXL Learning: Make an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. And Don’t mom alone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com/DMA.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you ever wonder why you respond the way you do to your kids? Do you feel like there are things to process from childhood but don’t have the words to explain those feelings?  Today Charissa Lopez, a Licensed Professional Counselor in Dallas joins me. She specializes in play therapy, EMDR, emotionally focused family therapy, and trauma-informed care. She is full of wisdom and the science to explain why we respond and parent in specific ways based on childhood patterns.  Join us as we talk about…  Secure attachment in the early years (ages 0-3) and how meeting our little ones needs just 30% of the time allows them to feel secure and attuned.  Loving parental behaviors – beyond the basic needs by showing our kids delight, affection, and supporting their inner and outer exploration.  How to repair relationships and remain a safe place for our kids. Dismissive attachment pattern explained.  HOPE- a way to learn more helpful patterns and allow God to heal past hurts.  Connect with Charissa Lopez:  Website:  Charissa Lopez | Licensed Professional Counselor Links Mentioned:   The Window of Tolerance :: Charissa Fry [Ep 260] Welcome Don't Mom Alone Friends! - Charissa Lopez Counseling–helpful pdfs on loving parental behaviors and attachment styles.  Related Episodes: Connecting Through Play :: Charissa Fry [Ep 319] Ages and Stages Series–The Tween Years :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 380] “How Do I Regulate My Own Emotions?” :: Charissa Fry [Ep 482] Summer of Mentorship Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics:  Spice up your fall look with Thrive causemetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA Skylight Frames: As a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get twenty dollars off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to SkylightFrame.com/ALONE.  Betterhelp: Let the gratitude flow, with Betterhelp. ● Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you struggle with discontentment and comparison in motherhood and beyond? Do you constantly second guess the best way to raise your kids in regards to food, education, health, and even naptime? Today, Laura Wifler, from Risen Motherhood is here to talk about her new book written with her sister-in-law Emily Jensen. We start by breaking down the framework they introduce in the Gospel Mom and how we are often looking for a formula to parent our kids but God has given us a framework in the metanarrative of the Bible.  Next, we talk about the challenges of trying to live in a Christian mom community- we know God calls us to be with others but what do we do when friendship is hard or not life-giving? As moms, we feel like there is a right and wrong way to do every single little thing in motherhood- feeding, naptime, schooling, health and those often all lead to comparison. Laura gives us some truth and ideas regarding comparison, how to be content, and accept your actual life. God has so many lessons for us moms if we lean in and apply the gospel lens it helps give life and joy even in hardship.  Connect with Laura Wifler:  Website:  Risen Motherhood: Helping Moms Connect Their Faith To Motherhood Facebook: Risen Motherhood Instagram:  Risen Motherhood®️ (@risenmotherhood) Links Mentioned:   Risen Motherhood: by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler Gospel Mom: by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler, Laura Ep. 93 || How Should We Educate Our Children? The Case for Freedom, Part 1 Ep. 94 || Freedom in Education Choices: An Interview with Melissa Kruger on Private Schooling, Part 2 Ep. 95 || Irene Sun on Homeschool: Freedom in Education Choices, Part 3 Ep. 96 || Freedom in Education Choices: An Interview with Jen Wilkin on Public Schooling, Part 4 A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: by Eugene H., Peterson Related Episodes: Cultivating Intimacy with God in Motherhood :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 490] Owning Your Motherhood :: Erin Moon and Courtney Cleveland [Ep 325] Motherhood, Career, and Identity :: Kat Armstrong [Ep 171] Featured Sponsors:  HoneyLove: Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save up to 50% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/DMA this month only. Inventory is limited and the sale ends soon so don’t miss their best deals of the year. After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Thrive Market: Want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health? Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift.  StoryWorth:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Ever wonder how your mom friends with all boys or all girls handle parenting? Do you often wonder how in the world a “boy mom” or a “girl mom” views the opposite?  Today my good friend Courtney DeFeo is here to have an in-depth conversation about her experiences as a “girl mom” and asks me tons of great questions about what life with four boys is like (spoiler alert- active and crazy). Courtney is an author, podcaster, and creative mom of two girls. We bring the conversations we have had many times over the lunch table to the podcast today. Often our worlds feel opposite, her girls used to sit and play with playdough for thirty minutes, and my boys sit for three minutes. Her girls love clothes, nails, and coloring while my boys were in a bouncy house, eating my decor, and moving their bodies constantly.  We end by starting to break down the teen years and how the emotions show up differently for each gender. By discussing some of the gender stereotypes that come up we hope this conversation helps you support your mom friends better. And don’t forget to go over to Courtney’s podcast to finish the conversation later this week.  Connect with Courtney DeFeo:  Website:  Home - Courtney DeFeo Facebook: Courtney DeFeo | Facebook Instagram:  Courtney DeFeo (@courtney_defeo) Podcast: Pardon the Mess - Courtney DeFeo Links Mentioned:   Foundations: by Ruth Chou Simons The Worry-Free Parent: by Sissy Goff What in the World?!: by Leanne Morgan The Tech-Wise Family: by Andy Crouch Whoobli Ninja Inflatable Kids Punching Bag Trampoline with handle Skylight Digital Picture Frame ZELUS Balance Ball Trainer with Resistance Bands Water Blaster 2pcs Water Gun Fight Shooting Water Guns for Kids Roller Skates for Girls Boys Ages 4-12 KidKraft Vintage Wooden Play Kitchen LEGO Creator 3 in 1 Mighty Dinosaur Toy Related Episodes: Shrinking or Swelling to Fill Your Space :: Courtney DeFeo [Ep 406] RWYB wk 5 Uninvited :: Lysa TerKeurst, Kay Wyma and Courtney DeFeo {Ep 131} Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 119]   Raising Worry-Free Girls :: Sissy Goff [Bonus] Featured Sponsors:  Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Let the gratitude flow, with Betterhelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. Vegamour: This holiday season, give the gift of great hair with Vegamour. There’s something for everyone, including you! Visit Vegamour.com/DMA code DMA to shop.  Greenlight: Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families. Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you often feel like what is the point of engaging politically or voting? Are you worried about the direction our nation is headed and what is next? Today Sharon McMahon is here to teach us about how our government functions and encourages us that individuals make a difference. She began as a government, history, and law teacher and then took her passion for educating to Instagram. Her platform grew rapidly as she has a way of helping all of us understand the process and history of the United States. Her new book The Small and the Mighty reminds us that each person has a part to play in our sphere of influence and shows us how the United States was founded on the backs of small but mighty people.  Sharon encourages with this truth that “we must not grow weary in doing good”. Our ancestors who have suffered much continued to fight for justice and invest in the communities around them and we have so much to learn from their stories.  Connect with Sharon McMahon:  Website:  Sharon McMahon | America's Government Teacher Facebook: Sharon McMahon | Facebook Instagram:  SHARON McMAHON (@sharonsaysso) Links Mentioned:   The Preamble | Sharon McMahon | Substack Vote - Register and get information on Voting | Sharon McMahon The Small and the Mighty: by Sharon McMahon Right Where You Belong: by Heather MacFadyen Related Episodes: Factual News, Flexible Thinking and Family Moral Imperatives :: Sharon McMahon [Ep 332] Racial Healing Starts with You :: Latasha Morrison [Ep 261] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics: Spice up your fall look with Thrive Causemetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.  Branch Basics: You no longer have to wear a hazmat suit while you’re cleaning up. For a limited time only, head to BranchBasics.com/DMA and use Code [DMA] for 15% off your entire order. Choose Branch Basics because cleanliness matters. Greenlight: Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you ever struggle to keep Christ at the center of Christmas? Do you feel many Christmas traditions take a ton of time and energy or are just busy work but don’t point to Jesus?  Today Lillian Richey, my personal friend, is here to share her new project called Finding Jesus which helps families make Christmas meaningful and simple. Last year the Lord dropped into her heart the idea of a Jesus doll that tells the whole story of Christmas through scripture and helps kids see Jesus. Through the last few months, God has used this project to bring the gospel around the world, including China, and answered prayers. In less than a year this beautiful product has come to life.  Finding Jesus points our kids to Christ and a connection to Him that goes deep into hearts and minds. This doll, puzzle, story, and song weaves together the Biblical truth with some fun. Lillian’s story shows us that when we listen to the voice of God His ideas are gospel minded and He has the resources to help us accomplish creative ideas.  Connect with Lillian Richey:  Website:  Finding Jesus (seekhimfirst.com) Facebook: Finding Jesus | Dallas TX | Facebook Instagram:  Finding Jesus (@findingjesusdoll) Links Mentioned:   Children's Jesse Tree Advent Cards  Related Episodes: Advent Untangled :: Mindy Rives [Ep 385] Celebrating Advent :: Tsh Oxenreider [Ep 305] Christmas Traditions with Little Ones :: Jacki Rucksdashel [Ep 142] Featured Sponsors:  Wildgrain: Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wildgrain so you can begin building your own box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/DMA to start your subscription.   BetterHelp: Take off the mask, with BetterHelp.  Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. IXL Learning: Make an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. And Don’t Mom Alone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com/DMA. Get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.