Navigating Time Off from Work to Bond with a Newly Adopted Child

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are in the process of adopting a waiting child internationally. This is our first adoption and we will soon be waiting to be matched with a child. I teach in higher education and my schedule is coordinated about nine months out. I am working with my supervisors to try and make sure my schedule for the next year is flexible to account for uncertain adoption timing. It has been so difficult to try and navigate this with my job, especially because my institution has very limited options for paid parental leave. I'm wondering if you have any insight into how to discuss a few of my questions with my employer:How to manage unpredictable adoption timelines that may require mid-semester leave on minimal notice,Explaining the necessity of time off work to bond with our new child, without the physical recovery needs that traditional birth includes, and That while teaching online is an option, balancing teaching online with international travel and a critical bonding period is very daunting. If you have any insight into how to discuss these topics with my employer, or any additional details I should be considering, I would love to hear your thoughts. I should say that my supervisors are very supportive and excited for my family, and they are open to creative solutions. These are just uncharted waters at my institution. I love listening to your podcast every week and my husband and I have learned so much from you all while we've been on our adoption journey!Resources:How Can I Get Paid Leave for My Adoption?The Movement Project: Relationship & Parental Recognition: State Family Leave Laws Center for Parental Leave LeadershipSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Resilience is more than just bouncing back from a challenge. Join us for a conversation about building resilience in ourselves and our kids, understanding coping tools, and caring well for ourselves while raising kids who may have significant gaps in their resilience. We talk with Kathleen Harnish McKune and her sister, Karen Dickson from Remarkably Resilient, Inc., a non-profit organization committed to partnering to empower healing from trauma. In this episode, we cover:How do you define resilience? What does it look like in real life, not just in theory?What are resilience cups? Why do we need a full cup?How can parents and caregivers fill their cups while raising kids impacted by trauma, prenatal exposure, etc?What are your “5 Rs” of resilience?RegulationRelationshipsResponseRecoveryReflectionWhat are some typical challenges – or symptoms – we might see in a child whose resilience is undeveloped or lacking? When a child is struggling with challenging behaviors that show some gaps in their resilience, how can parents/caregivers practically implement these 5 Rs in the moment?What are the coping tools you’ve identified to help people implement resilience-building strategies – the 4 Cs: CalmCareCourageConnect Strengthening resilience at the individual level ripples out to families, communities, and beyond. What gives you hope as you do this work?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We are currently going through our home study to adopt from foster care, and I'm wondering if it is too early to look at photo listings? I have been looking at photo listings for a long time, but now, when I read the bios, it feels real, and I get slightly attached. I'm curious if you think this is setting myself up for disappointment.Resources:Adoptions in the US – Our Annual UpdateAdoption Comparison ChartsFoster Care AdoptionDealing with a Long Wait While AdoptingThe Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the FamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What is human trafficking? Is your child at increased risk of being trafficked? Listen to this conversation with guests Dr. Yolanda Montgomery, a nurse, advocate, and the founder of Zoë Ministries, a nonprofit established in 2012 to combat human trafficking in Delaware and beyond, and Sara Poore, the Executive Director of the Delaware Anti-Trafficking Action Council (DATAC), leading statewide efforts to prevent human trafficking, support survivors, and strengthen community partnerships.In this episode, we discuss:What is human trafficking, and how does it show up in the lives of children and teens in the U.S.?Why might children who have experienced foster care, adoption, or relative caregiving be at higher risk for trafficking?What role do things like running away, online activity, or mental health play in increasing risk?Are there particular ages or developmental stages when children are most at risk?What systemic factors—such as placement instability or a lack of adult oversight—contribute to vulnerability?What signs or red flags should caregivers be watching for in their children or teens?How does trafficking often begin for vulnerable youth?What should a caregiver do if they suspect trafficking or exploitation?If a child discloses trafficking or exploitation, what should a caregiver’s first response be?What kinds of services or professionals should a caregiver seek out to help a child recover from trafficking or exploitation?What are some preventative actions parents and caregivers can build into their homes and relationships with their kids?What can caregivers be sensitive to at home, things that may contribute to increasing risk factors for our kids who are more vulnerable to these risks? (What conversations should caregivers be having regularly with their tweens or teens about trafficking risks?What resources, hotlines, or support networks should every caregiver have saved in their phones, or know about?In addition to being the one safe, stable, nurturing adult in a child’s life, what other practical protective factors can parents and caregivers incorporate into their home’s daily rhythms?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We very recently brought home our second child through domestic infant adoption. We feel very fortunate, and our son is developing well; we are also settling into the new routine.  We matched with our Son's birth mother through a local agency, and unfortunately, she decided that she did not want to meet us. She gave no information about the biological father.  We know she was caucasian, but honestly, it is unclear whether our son is entirely caucasian or not. The pediatrician said it was a mystery, and he may be caucasian with a darker complexion, or biracial, some amount of Hispanic, black, or any other heritage. We want to do everything in our power to be informed, acknowledge, and celebrate any ethnic background that is presented, but short of doing a DNA ancestry service on a baby that is a few weeks old, I don't really know where to begin- I'd appreciate any guidance you have. Resources:Raising a Transracial or Multicultural ChildAdoptee VoicesEthical Issues in Genetic Testing in AdoptionGenetic Testing and Genealogy for AdopteesGenetic Testing for Adoptees – Is It Worth It?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you worry about the impacts that screen time, social media, or gaming have on your tween and teens' mental health? We spoke to Brittany Anderson, an author, certified play and narrative intelligence practitioner, and the founder of Renala, which helps families become creative, vision-driven leaders—beginning at home.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most common concerns that parents and caregivers have about their tween or teen’s tech use?Are those concerns more about the amount of time kids spend on devices, the content they’re seeking out, or the content they stumble upon?What are the differences in concerns between parents of pre-teens/tweens (11–13) and older teens (16–18)?What does current research say about how much screen time is considered healthy—or at least not harmful—for our tweens and teens? Is the amount of time as important as how that time is being spent?Are there particular times of day when device use is more problematic for mental health (e.g., late at night)?What types of online content are most worrisome for the tweens and teens in our homes?What mental health effects are we seeing most often in tweens and teens related to tech use? What are the symptoms of mental health that parents and caregivers should look for?Why might kids with a history of trauma and loss, prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs, or neurodiversity be more vulnerable to tech-related mental health challenges?How do issues like attachment, identity, and resilience intersect with device use?Are there specific risks associated with online relationships, gaming communities, or social media for these children?What can adoptive and foster parents, as well as caregivers such as grandparents raising their grandchildren, do proactively to reduce some of these risks before problems arise?What role do boundaries, monitoring, and co-viewing/co-playing have in prevention?How can they help their child develop self-protective, self-regulation skills, such as learning to prioritize their own mental health and manage their device use? If a tween or teen has already had a harmful tech-related experience, what steps should parents/caregivers take immediately? What does a healthy “tech culture” in a home look like for tweens and teens? One piece of equipping and empowering advice for leading with purpose and mission around the issues of technology, devices, and tweens’ and teens’ mental healthRESOURCES:Managing Technology and ScreensWhat Resource Parents Should Know About Prenatal ExposureHow to CuSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have resentment against my (soon-to-be adopted) child’s mom, who is an addict. I get frustrated with his disrespect & disobedience, and bitterness & resentment rise up. He also respects my husband way more than me. I am trying so hard not to let it show or to take it out on him. I need help!Resources:Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviors Prenatal Exposure, Part 1: Parenting Babies through Elementary AgesParenting a Challenging Child: A Collaborative ApproachSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you dread the teen years? Or, if you're in the midst of parenting teens, do you struggle to find ways to connect? This week, we interview Dr. Melody Aguayo, a parenting coach specializing in working with at-risk children and their families and the founder of Real Child Consulting, LLC. She is the mom of two adopted kids.In this episode, we discuss:Parents wonder why their easy and natural connection with their kids changed, and they now feel on the outs and have to work harder. What is the developmental stage that is happening between the ages of about 13 and 18 or 19?Teens act like they don’t need us, when I believe they need us even more, to be present, but in a distinctly different way. I think that our emotions as a parent can sometimes interfere with connecting with teens.Change our expectation of what “connection” means with teens.Parents report feeling powerless in parenting when their kids reach their teen years. What is the essence of our power as parents?Our goals for our teens are to become responsible and independent. How can we parent in such a way to foster these goals?Let’s address some common issues we face when parenting teens: Arguing. How to turn an argument into a conversation?Spending too much time on technologyRunning with the wrong crowdTips for connecting and building trust and appreciation with your teen!Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.I spent some time this week thinking about what I’ve learned from my experiences as an adoptive parent and the wisdom of others in our community. In reflection, I've created a list of the things I wish I knew before adopting.Resources:8 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I AdoptedFree courses to strengthen your familyTherapeutic Parenting: Strategies & SolutionsBeginner’s Guide to TBRI Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Kinship-led families have unique needs, and finding resources to meet those needs can be a challenge. Today, we're talking with Mike Heath, a Resource Specialist with the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families in Wisconsin. The Coalition is a Resource Center for birth parents, foster families, adoptive families, relative/kinship/and like-kin caregivers, and child welfare and Tribal agency professionals.In this episode, we discuss:What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing? What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver?What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week? How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)?Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing? Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? Where to go to learn about those options?What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they supportIf a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?Resources:Free Download Checklist for the first 30 days as a Kinship CaregiverVirtual Resource Kit for Relative Caregivers - Virtual Resource Kit: Relative Caregiving - Wisconsin Family Connections CenterRelative Caregiver Learning Pathway on Champion Classrooms (Free recorded webinar series) - Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway Link Collection of Resources for Relative Caregivers - https://wifamilyconnectionscenter.org/how-do-i/find-support-as-a-relative-caregiver/Coalition for Children, Youth & Families - Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building