Maintaining Secure Attachment While Disciplining Misbehavior

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Could you use a few new strategies to help your child improve misbehavior? Listen to this conversation with Dr. Casey Call, the Associate Director of Education at the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU and Associate Professor of Professional Practice in the TCU Department of Psychology. She will help us understand how to maintain connection while correcting challenging behaviors.In this episode, we discuss:Why and how should parents and caregivers work toward secure attachment with kids impacted by trauma? What does it mean when we say we are rewiring the child’s brain for connection?What is the purpose of discipline? How can parents and caregivers set a firm foundation of secure attachment if they also need to correct misbehavior or inappropriate behavior?Why do traditional or punishment-based disciplinary approaches not work for children impacted by trauma? Why do kids impacted by trauma tend to respond better (meaning an improvement in behavior) to discipline that guides them to think about their choices and consequences?How can parents and caregivers maintain a safe, loving connection with firmness and kindness while still holding the goal of retraining a behavior?In this process, what does it mean to share our power?What is the “IDEAL” approach?What is a re-do? Why is it so powerful for re-training?What are a few practical ways that parents and caregivers can maintain attachment during these disciplinary or re-teaching processes?What are some of the common behaviors that drive parents crazy? How can parents and caregivers maintain the intensity and pace of disciplining a child who has been impacted by trauma, without burning out?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Question: My 2nd grader, adopted domestically, has some pretty big, hard behaviors, like tantrums, clingy whining, and difficulty cooperating or sharing. We know there was prenatal substance exposure. I feel stuck to help them with their big feelings and big behaviors — what do I do to help them day to day?Resources:5 Tips to Save Your Sanity While Raising Kids with Prenatal Substance ExposurePrenatal Exposure, Part 1: Parenting Babies Through Elementary AgesTantrums, Meltdowns, Whining, Oh My! How to Parent Challenging BehaviorsFree E-Guide: Navigating Challenging Behaviors - Practical Strategies for FamiliesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Join us for a conversation about why men in foster and kinship care matter - to the family unit, to the system, and most importantly, to the kids. Our guest is Tony Craddock, a Prevention Social Worker in Wake County, NC, with more than 25 years of experience supporting families. For the past decade, he has engaged kinship families and fathers through his co‑facilitation of the Kinship In Action Support Group.In this episode, we talk about:What first drew you to working with families, and later to engaging fathers and kinship caregivers?Why is it so important that we intentionally engage and celebrate men — fathers, grandfathers, uncles, mentors — in foster and kinship care spaces?What positive differences have you seen in children’s lives when men are actively supported and involved in caregiving?What unique strengths do men bring to families in foster and kinship roles?What are some ways that normalizing men as caregivers helps not just families, but the larger community?What are some of the reasons you hear men sharing about their hesitation to step into these caregiving roles or to seek support when they take on such a role?Do you see common themes of how they describe their experiences of being welcomed — or not — into support spaces?What strategies have you found most effective for inviting and retaining men in support groups and similar caregiving networks?What role do their peers who are already plugged into their roles as caregivers play in encouraging or retaining engagement with newer father figures in your groups?What have you noticed in children’s emotional, behavioral, or developmental well-being when there’s consistent male involvement?How does having a balanced caregiving network, one that includes a multi-generational approach and welcomes both men and women, strengthen a family’s resilience?Who are the men — in your work or your life — who inspire you as caregivers and supporters?What advice would you give to a man who may already be a foster or kinship caregiver, but who also wants to step more intentionally into that role to make a difference for their child?If you could change one thing about how the system engages men in foster and kinship care, what would it be?Looking ahead, what gives you the most hope about supporting men in these spaces?What’s one message you’d like every listener — caregiver, professional, or community member — to walk away with today?ResourcesFather Engagement StrategiesThe Vital Role of Men in Foster CareFinding Male Role Models for Kids of Single MomsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Question: I love my child so much, but lately I feel emotionally worn down and shut down in my parenting. Someone mentioned they recently learned about blocked care, and now I’m wondering if that's what’s happening. What is blocked care, and what can a parent do about it?Resources:Understanding and Overcoming Blocked CareWhat Is Blocked Care? How Do I Overcome It?Trauma-Informed TherapyBuilding Rhythms of Self-Care Into Our ParentingMaking Self-Care a Priority for the New YearSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Are you raising a child with known or suspected prenatal opioid exposure? Understanding the impacts and how to parent them will help you set your child up to thrive! We are joined by Lenette Serlo, an adoptive mom of four children impacted by prenatal substance exposure and the founder of Generation O, a nonprofit focused on creating understanding and support for children with prenatal opioid exposure and their families.In this episode, we talk about:What are opioids, and what does it mean when a child has been exposed to opioids before birth?What are some of the short-term and long-term ways prenatal opioid exposure can affect a child’s brain, body, and development?What were some of the earliest things you noticed that helped you understand that your kids might experience the world differently?How can parents make the shift from asking “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What does this child need?”When a child has prenatal opioid exposure, what practical ways can parents help support emotional regulation and nervous system balance for these kids?What are some everyday challenges families might see at home?  And what strategies can parents and caregivers try to support their kids with those challenges?What tools or routines can help kids succeed with things like organization, memory, and follow-through?How could a parent or caregiver partner with teachers or schools so that children impacted by prenatal opioid exposure can succeed academically and behaviorally?What have you learned about helping children build friendships and navigate social situations successfully?In the baby and preschool years, what supports or parenting approaches can make the biggest difference?What challenges tend to emerge during the elementary school years, and how can caregivers support learning, independence, and confidence during that stage?As children move into adolescence, what new challenges can appear, and how can parents continue supporting identity, independence, and life skills?What is one small change parents or caregivers can make tomorrow that could have a big impact?You founded Generation O to support families navigating prenatal opioid exposure. What gaps did you see that made you want to start this organization? What’s giving you hope right now? What is one message would you most want our listeners to take with them about helping their kids with a history of opioid exposure thrive now and into their futures?Resources:Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for Foster, Adoptive & Kinship ParentsRaising a Child with Prenatal Substance ExposurePSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Question: Should I tell my nephew that by the time he turns 18, he has to be in school and passing his classes, or have a job, to continue living with us? He will turn 18 at the end of this school year and will inherit a small amount of money that could get him started. He is currently in school, and he doesn’t have a job or any interest in getting one. Anytime someone asks him about his goals or future plans, his answer is “I don’t know” or “I don’t care.” I know that he is depressed and apprehensive about growing up, so part of me worries about pushing him too hard, but on the other hand, without a push, I worry his situation will continue to deteriorate. Resources:Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and TeensPractical Ways to Connect with Your Tween or TeenSupporting Kids with Prenatal Exposure in the Transition to Adolescence and BeyondRaising Resilient KidsRaising Kids for a Lifelong Parent/Child BondSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Helping young adults in foster or kinship care transition toward adulthood can feel overwhelming for foster parents and relative caregivers. Join us today for a conversation with Vernell Gore of Youth Villages and Nick Sgarlata of Bridge to Brighter, for practical ways to prepare and equip your foster or kin youth for adulthood.In this episode, we discuss:What makes this stage of life uniquely challenging for youth in foster or kinship care compared to their peers?What does a successful transition to adulthood actually look like?What are some common misconceptions that caregivers or professionals have about youth who are nearing adulthood?When you think about a young person leaving care and thriving in adulthood, what key elements need to be in place?Why might a young person leaving foster care or relative care at the same time they are leaving high school feel the weight of this uncertainty more than their peers? How and where can foster parents or kin carers help youth explore different career paths and possibilities?What are some practical ways they can research those options and make informed decisions?What types of programs or pathways will help youth develop skills, discipline, or career direction?What are the most important money skills young people need before they leave care?What are some simple ways to start teaching these skills while the youth are still at home?What are some everyday adult responsibilities that youth may struggle with? What are some of the benefits of mentors for a young person transitioning out of foster care? How can they begin finding mentors or supportive role models?Beyond practical skills, what character traits or skills do young people need to develop to succeed in adulthood?Many youth in foster care or living with a grandparent or relative are carrying trauma from earlier experiences. How important are healing and identity development in preparing them for adulthood?How might a foster parent or relative caregiver support their young person toward healing?What are a few common mistakes adults make when trying to prepare youth for adulthood?What practical steps can foster or kinship carers start today to prepare their youth for adulthood? Resources:Raising Kids with Neurodiversity (ADHD)Maintaining a Healthy Perspective When Parenting Tweens & TeensPrenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and TeensSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!A Lifebook is the story of how your child came to be yours and the story of his life before he came to you. Adoption is only one aspect of your child, and at some point, his life merges into your life. However, he had a life before he came to your family, and his Lifebook tells this part of his story.Resources:Adoption Lifebooks (Suggested Books)Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Raising kids impacted by adoption, foster care, or kinship care can do a number on your marriage or life partnership. Join us for a conversation with Jeremy & Jara Walden, authors of The Heart Work of Foster Care: A Hopeful and Honest Guide to Foster Parenting, about strategies to re-prioritize and strengthen your most significant relationship.In this episode, we discuss:How can raising kids together enhance a marriage or relationship? Why are kids in our community often harder to parent?Trauma, loss, neglectPrenatal substance exposureChallenging behaviors that come from those experiencesWhy and how might our kids’ needs test our adult relationships?What are some of the additional stressors our relationships may face when fostering or adopting kids who’ve been exposed to trauma?  What are some challenging behaviors kids who’ve experienced trauma can bring that might be particularly difficult for the marriage?What are some signs that we may be neglecting or at least not maintaining our significant relationship?How does your history impact your marriage, while raising kids with trauma impacts?Can you offer specific strategies for “going back,” healing, or re-prioritizing our marriages or partnerships if we are listening to this and realize we haven’t done so?How do single parents prioritize the adult relationships that they value?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!Question: We have two children adopted through the foster care system as infants - an almost 10-year-old (AudHD) and a 4.5-year-old (neurotypical). They both come into our room every night in the middle of the night, and it really disturbs my sleep and my husband's sleep. It seems like we've tried everything to get them to stop. Recently, we told them we were going to start locking our door, but then they just come and knock and knock until one of us gets up. If we try to put them back in their own beds, they make us lie down with them until they fall asleep - then I can't get back to sleep after that. Not sure how to handle this situation.Resources:Sleep Issues with Adopted, Foster, or Relative ChildrenWhy Won't My Child Sleep?! (And What Can I Do?)Help! My Newly Placed Child is Regressing on SleepSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building